


The Lady in Grey

by Acam



Series: The Time Traveler's Tales [2]
Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:35:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 104,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acam/pseuds/Acam
Summary: Lord Adam Grey has gained and lost a lot in only one year: he lost a brother and became the sole heir of a dukedom, finally finding his calling amongst the fields of barley and wheat. When Benjamin, his older brother, returns to England with a wife and an heir of his own, Adam is left with nothing. Again.Lonely and lost, Adam is summoned to Ellesmere Park, for the Christmas party and birth of William and Margareth Ransom first born child. There, he hopes to forget his sorrows and find strength to carry on with his life.What he was not expecting was to find Lady Eleanor MacDonell, a rebel Scottish girl, who left with no traces from the grasp of the old and evil Gordon Wallace, chief of the Wallace clan, who believes the girls blood to be magical and a portal to the other world.Will Adam find the happiness he craves with Eleanor, giving her the love she never had?
Relationships: Adam Grey/Original Character(s), Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser, Jamie Fraser/William Ransom, Lord John Grey/William Ransom, William Ransom/Original Character(s)
Series: The Time Traveler's Tales [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804093
Comments: 316
Kudos: 126





	1. A lady in tartan

_September, 1780_

Adam fell on the ground, gingerly touching the side of his face that had been hit and passing his tongue over his teeth. Just to be sure. Since he started to compete with professional fighters, he had grown accustomed to minor injuries.

He got up, circling the Irish man in front of him, looking angry and huge, with the high molars and the broken nose. He could be extremely tall, almost like a giant, and he also could be strong like a bull, his muscles showing off under the pale skin. However, the man was not very smart and slow like a turtle.

This was the only advantage for Adam Grey, known as The Lord on the underground of London, where those matches wound happen every day. The date and the fighters would be passed among bettors in hushed voices, as the fights were prohibited by the King all over the territory and everyone involved could be hanged if caught.

Adam decided to go for the giant’s legs, exactly on his knees, so that the monster bend with the momentum and fell on the ground with a bang. Adam took advantage of the moment, climbing over the man and sitting on his chest, while punching him on the face.

He had only some minutes of fun, before he flew over the other side of the room, while everyone cheered for the Irish Giant.

“Damn!” Adam whispered to himself, catching his breath before being thrown to the other side again. He felt like a puppet.

Sliding through the floor, he kneeled and waited for the man to come running towards him. He knew it was just a matter of forces and levers. He just needed to act on…the…right…moment…

When the man came closer enough, Adam hold one of his knees and used his shoulder to take the bull of the ground, using the energy left to throw him on the floor, followed by a kick on the chin.

That was the end of it.

The crowd cheered, as the judge came closer to see if Adam’s opponent was, at least, alive. Verifying that he wouldn’t need to call the morgue that night, The Lord’s hand was raised high over his head and he left to get his money from the owner of the pub where he would fight every week.

He waited by the counter, taking the sweat of his face with the sleeve of his shirt. His heart was starting to enter the normal beating rhythm when he felt a hand over his sore shoulder. Adam turned quickly, just to see his cousin, William Ransom, the Earl of Ellesmere, behind him.

“Looking dashing as ever.” Said Adam, taping on the counter and motioning with his fingers some beer for him and his cousin.

“And you’re looking miserable.” Said William, sitting by his side, with his fancy jacket and waistcoat. “You’re a hard man to find.”

“I’m very mysterious.”

“There was one time that I would always know where you were.” Whispered William, taking a gulp of his beer and turning to see his cousin.

Adam remained silent, thinking of everything that happened the last year. He was the middle son of a duke and grew knowing he would not be very important for the future of the dukedom. This was a job for Benjamin, his older brother, that was taught exactly everything he needed to know to be a good heir and lord.

It was an easy decision when the Grey’s decided to serve in the Army. Benjamin would be protected at all costs by his father’s friends, Adam was still too young to be in trouble and Henry would follow Adam everywhere he went.

Well…Things turned to be a little different in the colonies. Benjamin was sent away in a mission and Henry got injured and transferred to Mrs. Woodcock house. Soon, Benjamin was presumed dead and Henry had eloped with Mrs. Woodcock, whose husband was still very much alive.

Her mother was in shambles, his father was roaming around North Carolina and the other states looking for Ben. William had his own business to attend in the army, so Adam decided to sell his patent and go back home, to tend for his mother and the lands.

He was happy, truly happy, for those months where he was the heir. He found his calling, after all. Adam was not a soldier or a minister: he was a farm boy, who loved to go see the tenants and help with the crops. He would get up with the dawn and go back home only with the dusk.

He got to see his mother find happiness helping a girl find her family again and saw his cousin fall in love with her. They got married, William sold his patent and they were the earl and countess of Ellesmere.

And Adam? Well, Adam dreamt of his own family and the future duchess of Pardloe.

Until his uncle John Grey found Ben, married with a kid. He and his family returned to London that spring and his life went upside down. From heir and land-owner, he returned to be the middle son, with no prospects and no self-respect.

He turned to drinking, gambling and women. Soon, he needed more. That’s when the fighting began. First, he would fight every drunk who would be next to him in the pubs. Then, he started to get better, to understand the body and how it would work during the matches. He would learn to anticipate movements and use his understand in physics to win over big brutes. Finally, Adam found something he was useful. And he was earning money with it.

But it was not enough. It never was. He needed…more. He missed his brother but…God…He missed his life more.

“What do you want, William?” Adam asked, regretting being so rude.

The earl just sighed, placing a hand over the man’s fist.

“Peggy is with child.”

Adam’s heart rejoiced for a moment and he forgot he was supposed to be cold and heartless.

“And I want you to be the godfather.”

He paused, blinking.

“I don’t know what to say… I…”

“You don’t need to say anything right now. Think of it and we could meet on the White’s, next week, to talk about it. What do you say?”

Adam just nodded, watching his friend smile warmly to him. He was happy, for the first time in months.

_________________

_September 1447_

Lady Eleanor MacDonell was standing in front of her father, for what appeared to be the 3rd time that same day. She would spend hours, trying to convince the chief of changing his mind, to be free of the worst marriage she could think of.

However, as usual, chief Leith MacDonell was having none of it. He had been chief of his clan for 30 years and, despite being considered too old (he celebrated his 47 birthday some days before), he had gained knowledge and patience.

Especially with his only daughter.

He had married too young, with a girl from the clan next to his lands, the MacLean’s. Iona was a skinny, scared girl, with big green eyes, the color of moss and blond hair so white she seemed like a ghost. Many would say she was a fairy, a changeling, a gift from the beings who lived on the hills, that traded the sickly baby of the MacLean chief for this ethereal creature.

She would not speak and her eyes would be always lost, somewhere on the hills. She would mumble, sometimes, strange things about fairies and stones, but usually, she would remain quiet, watching him with those big, green eyes.

She got pregnant quickly and for some time, Leith was relieved. He would have an heir and he would be able to send that weird girl to another castle. Or maybe a nunnery. His relief lasted only six months: the baby was a girl and was named Eleanor, in honor of Leith’s mother. Even when she was asked to name their child, Iona remained silent and left the earth with a sigh.

Widowed and with a baby girl in his arms, the chief decided to remarry, a widow that had already two strong sons. Adaira Hamilton was the chosen one and she fulfilled her role with class: three years later she had given the chief three male children, ensuring the lineage of clan MacDonell.

And Eleanor? Well, Eleanor was raised by the woman, who would insist to be called Adaira and would not hold her when she was sad or scared. Her step-mother would provide her with food, enough for her too gain a beautiful body when she became a woman, but not too much so she would seem slob. She would have nice clothes, befitting her status as the first-born of the chief and would have the best education a woman could get, but nothing more.

But Eleanor wanted more than that. She wanted to learn to read and to write, she wanted to use a sword and an arrow. She wanted to get on her horse and be the best rider she could be.

So, behind Adaira’s back, Eleanor did it all. She was the best soldier in her father’s clan, the best rider in the Lowlands and she had the best aim in all Scotland. She would read the manuscripts and letters her father received in secret and write songs by candlelight.

She was too bright for her own sake.

“Father, please!” She screamed. “Gordon Wallace is a mad man!”

“We already talked about it today, Eleanor. Two times before.”

Eleanor was smart, funny and strong. Man feared her and thought they would never be able to control her. And due to that, she remained unmarry until the old age of seventeen. Then, Gordon Wallace appeared.

His clan was famous and rich. He was over 50 and already had so many sons and daughters that Eleanor couldn’t understand his suddenly interest in her. He clearly didn’t need an heir and it was not like he didn’t want to spend the remaining of his days alone: he didn’t had many left to spare.

“There’s no particular reason for you to accept this marriage.” She said. “If you want me to be married, I’m sure there is someone in Scotland that would have me and be younger than Lord Gordon!”

“Please, Eleanor…”

“I’m just saying.” She was starting to get tired.

“Give the man a chance. He will visit us in a week.”

“Father. Please.” She tried again. “Maybe in the Highlands. I know that Duncan Mackenzie have 5 sons of marrying age. Nessa said that they were visiting King James, in Glasgow…”

“Duncan Mackenzie is a fool! And his sons are fools too! You’re not marrying a Highlander, Eleanor, for God’s Sake! They are beasts!”

“Beasts?” Eleanor yelled, walking towards her father. “Lord Gordon is a beast! Nessa said he sold his soul to the devil. He has a room entirely dedicated to the Dark Arts. He hired wizards from France!”

“And you hear the bullshit your maid tells you?” He asked, closing his eyes and walking towards the window. “This are all lies created by his enemies.”

“You should be worried marrying your only daughter with a man with so many enemies.” Eleanor mumbled, for the 3rd time that day.

“Eleanor, please. Just…Meet the man. It would be a nice match between our clans and guarantee our position in the Lowlands. He is a good man and…a good friend.”

She saw her father leaving the room, without looking behind. Eleanor walked slowly towards the doors, pausing for a moment to place her hand over the hard surface of the stones around her.

Since she discovered about the prospects of marriage, she had been trying to convince her father to change his mind. She and Callum, her younger brother, kept thinking, over and over again of ways to convince the chief that the future relationship would not be ideal for Eleanor or the clan.

However, with each day she tried to talk with Leith MacDonell, she would lose a little bit of hope. The news about Lord Gordon would come from every member of the clan and she started to realize that the man was not only old, fat and weird. He was mean and terrible, an agent of evil in his true form.

And Eleanor couldn’t understand why her father was making her do that. Give her beauty and her freedom to such a terrible man, when she dreamt of red locks and blue eyes, in a tender and smooth face.

“How it went?” Asked Callum from the nook in the stairs.

Eleanor shook her head, her eyes low on the floor.

“Oh Ellie… It’s not lost.” The boy said, trying to cheer her up.

“He is coming to our lands in one week, Callum. There’s no hope anymore.” She looked up, to the boy in front of her. “We spent the last days trying to change his mind when we should have known it would never change.”

“No, Ellie. Listen.” Said the boy, approaching her. “I have one more option, but we will have to wait until Lord Gordon is here. I think this will do nicely.”

________________________

_September 1780_

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Said William to Adam, as they sat together in a quiet room in the club. Some men were having lunch, others were playing cards and a few were just reading the newspapers.

“I had some time to think things over.” Answered Adam, playing with his brandy.

Indeed, he had. After William’s visit on the pub he was fighting, Adam returned to the small room he was ranting in Whitechapel and thought about his life. Since March he hadn’t seen his mother and his brother. He learnt that his father had come back to England, finally, and he hadn’t saw the man either.

It was a long time to be completely lonely.

And as he laid in bed, looking at his only widow, turned to another building, Adam thought about his old life. When he was happy. He missed that and he missed his family.

William had searched for him, just to ask Adam, crazy and pessimistic Adam, to be the guardian of his first born. He truly believed that the lost Grey boy could be able to care for a child if the good earl of Ellesmere and his charming wife were unable to do so.

This was crazy.

But it was… beautiful.

He spent the last of the night remembering the days he spent with William and Margareth in London. Days he went to the fields and tanned below the sun. He could almost feel the warmth in his skin, as his neighbors shouted with each other in the room above his head.

“I would be honored to be the godfather of your son, Willie.” Said Adam, using the nickname created when the cousin was just a boy.

Now, he was going to be a father.

Jesus.

“Or a daughter.” Added William, asking for champagne to celebrate.

“Do you really think so?” Asked the cousin, watching the bubbles go up the cup, smiling to the earl.

“I’m quite sure. Her belly is starting to show. As my housekeeper said, it is very round. A girl, for sure.” The earl assumed, taking a sip. “I was thinking of Isobel. Or maybe Claire.”

Adam laughed, raising one eyebrow.

“And what Margareth think of it?”

He could see the cousin blush under the edge of his cup.

“She thinks it is a boy. She already calls him James behind my back. It’s nerve wrecking.”

A nice silence took over them, as they stared at each other, with the champagne in their hands. There were many things left unsaid and Adam could see in William’s eyes the urge to ask questions about what happened on those last months.

But he hadn’t the strength to go over the questioning.

As if he could read his mind, William placed the glass on the table and said:

“I don’t intend to ask you anything that makes you uncomfortable, Adam. Me and Margareth were very worried when we went to Argus House and you were not there. Aunt Minnie said you left many days ago and never showed up. Not even to see your nephew.”

“Please, William.”

The earl nodded.

“I know. When I returned from the colonies, you didn’t ask a thing about what happened. When I married Margareth out of the blue, you didn’t ask me either. Even when I returned to the colonies without saying goodbye, you didn’t seem very bothered.” William paused, playing with his fingers. “But you were there for me, when I needed the most. You were busy trying to mend your family, but you were by my side on my wedding and I’m very grateful for that.”

“If it was not for me, you would have fainted and hit your head somewhere on the room. Margareth would have been a widow by now. Probably, she wouldn’t even had the time to marry you before you killed yourself in a dumb way.” Adam teased, making his cousin smile a little.

“You’re right. That’s why we, me and Margareth, want you to spend the next months with us, in Ellesmere Park.”

Adam raised his head, his mouth opening and closing like a fish in a pond.

“Oh, no, William. I would never… I could never… Such an imposition…”

“You sound like your mother.” William teased, raising an eyebrow and taking a chuckle from a flabbergasted Adam.

“I do not sound like my mother!” He laughed loudly, making some heads turn towards him. “God Almighty, William, your wife is in a… delicate… condition and I will do more harm than good, as usual.”

William shook his head in denial.

“No. She misses you. And we need to take care of a lot of things for the baby. I’ve been talking with the Secretary of War and managed to have a safe-conduct for Mother Claire and her husband, Mr. Fraser…”

“I still think it’s quite weird, you being so close to your ex-step-mother…”

“Pay attention. And they will arrive by the end of October, to be ready for the birth. Mr. Fraser has family in Scotland and he has sent a letter with some things to be brought from his home, Lallybroch, to Ellesmere Park for the baby. He is getting old and it’s a long way to get there…But for you…” William mumbled, looking to Adam under his lashes, pretending to pay attention in his glass, while his cousin got precisely the meaning of his words.

“You need an errand boy!”

“No.” William raised his eyes, his face a serious mask of acknowledgment. “It’s just… Something happened and I know it’s not my business. But, I want you to be healed, Ad. I will need you now more than ever and the green hills of Scotland, maybe, can help you to be the man you once was, before you earned money to slap drunks.”

“I was not slapping drunks. We were boxing.” Adam corrected him and saving the few pieces of his dignity he still had left.

“What do you say?” William asked, raising one eyebrow.

“I say… Why not?”


	2. A lady in trouble

_September, 1780_

Adan still took his time before packing his things to go to Ellesmere Park. He finished the fights he had promised his presence already and announced to everyone he was having a break for the rest of the year. The news were received with sadness by the betors, as they got used to the man who never lost a fight.

The Lord, one more time, packed his belongings and said good-bye to another part of his life, locking the door of his tiny apartment and giving the keys back to the owner, an old lazy with dirty white hair and few teeth in her mouth.

He was getting too used to saying farewell to the things he got used to do.

 _Don’t think like that_ , Adam reprimanded himself, sitting by the side of the coachman in the small diligence he bought his seat to the North of the country. _It is a new life. A new beginning._

Or so he hoped.

It was unsettling to see the great city of London being left behind, with the beggars on the streets, the tenements, the dirty streets and the pollution staining the bright white façades in Grovesnor Square.

As they passed the bridges, he could see the green grass winning over the grey cement, the birds singing gleefully around them, as they marched to the countryside. He loved the bright hills filled with flowers, the shade of lazy trees turning to the road, the sound of the horses and the smell of the earth. On the countryside, people would not frown like the Londoners, always in a hurry, complaining about the traffic jams and the pollution around them.

No. Farmers were happy, smiling to the diligence as they crossed lands. Sometimes, they would scream “Hello!” or “Good-Morning!” to the coachman and Adam, making the noble extremely happy. It was so… unusual… for him to be greeted in London. Even by his own peers.

They stop by the evening in a pub and soon Adam found a place nearby to rest. It was not very fancy, but he had a bed for himself and had a private dinner in his own room. For the first time in months, he was able to lay by his side and, while watching the window on his chamber, he could see the stars sprinkled in the sky.

Adam loved the stars, shinning with grace above himself. He loved the moon, as it got fuller and fuller every day that went by, commanding the seasons and the weather. His tenants…well…Ben’s tenants had said to him, earlier that year, that by the time of Samhain, the moon would be incredibly beautiful.

He thought it was funny, the way the farmers would keep the traditions lost in time, such as the festival for the harvest, celebrated by the pagans on the days of old. They would dance around a great pyre, drinking beer and singing old songs, celebrating the food they reaped in the fields, that would provide for them for the next wintery days.

It was told that the veil between worlds was thinner on those nights, especially when the full moon would light the fields and bless the farmers, with a brand new year of prosperity.

If he could, he wanted to celebrate again with the tenants, now in Ellesmere Park. Maybe, if talked to William and Margareth, they could arrange the food and the wine to celebrate. Certainly, the farmers would be glad to see their earl tending for their needs, even if it is a very old tradition that have been passing on since the Celts.

Unless, he was not going to be in Ellesmere Park by the Harvest Feast Day. He would still be in Scotland, watching the full moon from somewhere in the road, if he was lucky enough. If he was not, he would still be stuck in Lallybroch, hearing the insane stories of a highlander, while waiting to fetch whatever William needed to be fetch there.

He woke up on the other day refreshed. It has been years since he slept so well, enjoying the quiet of the countryside. For the first time in many months he didn’t woke up sore or drunk. Or even with a hangover. No. He was sober and whole, without any new bruises showing up in his skin.

Adam got used to the motion of the carriage, the small talk with the coachman and the sounds of nature. He got used to the late nights watching the stars above his head, while trying to sleep wherever he could. The crickets singing, the cows lowing… It was home for him.

He didn’t even care that William lived so far away from London. The four days he spent on that diligence going North of the country made Adam reflect about his life and what he missed most. He craved the air on the fields and the sun in his skin and he was a damn fool trying to substitute that amazing feeling with alcohol and fights.

“I think we are almost here, sir.” Said the coachman, motioning to a gate, open with a small house by the side. They stopped, as the keeper of the grounds left the construction and went to their side.

“Who is coming?” Asked the man, raising one eyebrow.

“Lord Adam Grey, sir. Lord and Lady Ellesmere are expecting me.” Said Adam, leaning towards the coachman so that the keeper could hear him.

“Oh, yes. You were expected.” Said the man to the Lord, giving a quick bow. “You may follow until the end of the path.”

The coachman said his thanks and made the horses move, following the old path decorated with huge pines. Adam could see the roof of the mansion behind the wall of trees, getting closer and closer as they went, the hooves of the horses thundering on the gravel.

“So, ye are a lord, hum?” Said the coachman, as they could see the construction with red stones. “I would never guess, when you entered the coach earlier this week.”

“There are some lords out there who are bankrupt, you know.” Explained Adam, feeling the sourness of his voice over the tip of his tongue.

The coachman just laughed, as it was a joke the fact that the middle Grey brother was left with nothing, after all. He had no time to complain with the man by his side, as the servants were already outside, waiting for the coach to stop and William followed the butler, smiling to Adam as he waved with excitement.

“Finally! We thought you would be here by yesterday morning.” Complained William, as he pulled his cousin to a tight hug.

“I had to take the diligence, unfortunately. I should have warned you and…”

“Nonsense!” Exclaimed William, taking Adam by his shoulders towards the house. “You’re here now. Peggy is in the Green Room and I believe she asked for tee and cake.”

______________________

_September 1447_

Eleanor couldn’t get her eyes out of Lord Wallace. Not because he was so handsome or because he was charming as a prince. No. He was the most hideous man she had ever seen.

In the past, when she was a little girl, she remembered the man as fat, thin white hair and chubby cheeks, always red with excitement. He was always laughing and had a weary eye over the maids, eyes that were small and black as a pig’s eye. The last time he was in Glengarry, he had lost a bit of weight, making his skin look flat and fold over the belly. He was paler than usual and sweating profusely, but he kept blaming on the weather, as it hotter than usual.

Now… now something weird was happening.

Lord Gordon had lost more weight than ever and his skin was all over the place. He lost his hair entirely and spots could be seen on the top of his head, blueish and greenish spots with different sizes. He was pale but not in a common manner. He had a yellowish hue behind his skin and dark spots around his eyes, as he was not having enough sleep.

He seemed tired, as something was draining all his energy.

Not even the maids interested him anymore.

“What happened to him?” Asked Eleanor to Callum by her side, glancing towards the man, coughing in a weird manner over his plate of food.

“I don’t know, but he looks miserable.” Her other brother, Dougal, commented by her other side. “Nana often says that people who look like that are on the verge of death.”

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about.” Complained Malcom, in front of them. “Why don’t you stay quiet and enjoy the meal?”

As it was usual, all the siblings ignored the middle brother and returned to their discussions.

“Do you really think he is dying, Dougal?” Asked Eleanor, again, turning to the older brother. They were only 1 year apart in age, but Dougal was born an old man. Half of his hair was white as snow and he was the quieter of the MacDonell’s brothers.

“His skin is not looking healthy. Too yellow. To me, his years finally caught up to the man or he is being killed. Slowly.” Continued Dougal, chugging his beer.

“Killed? Like poisoned?” Eleanor seemed flabbergasted, looking at the old man. He was talking to her father, his eyes bloodshot and weary.

“Yes, probably.” Said Dougal, glancing the same look to the man. “You shouldn’t be very worried. In a year or two he will be, probably, dead.”

“Oh, God!” Complained Eleanor. “You can’t mock about these things.”

“No, wait, Ellie…” Murmured Callum. “He may be right.”

All the brothers looked to Callum, who, as the youngest continued staring at the old lord.

“Oh, no. God.” Whispered Malcom, glancing at the other side of the table, seeing if their mother was paying attention. “Stop pretending you’re a wizard, Callum! You’re not. Dougal is going to be the chief of this clan, I’m going to be a soldier and you’re going to be a priest.”

“No, I’m not!” Exclaimed Callum. “I’ve a special connection with the gods, Malcom, and you know that.”

“Oh, you two!” It was the time for Eleanor be sick of their arguments. “Don’t you see. The only person losing everything with this banter is me! It’s not Dougal, Malcom or Callum who is marrying an old crone! And everything you can do to help me will be valued.”

The brothers stared at their sister with shame in their eyes. It was known that Lady Adaira, their mother, didn’t like Eleanor. The girl, with her strawberry blond hair and bright green eyes was a constant memory of the old lady of the castle, who the servants loved dearly.

Adaira never treated Eleanor as her daughter. Or even part of her family. She was only a girl that the old lady had to shelter under her roof until she was with age to be married. And even when that they arrived, a morning when Ellie was 15 years old, Adaira still fought to have the girl far away from her castle.

After all, Ellie had a very strong will.

But for Dougal, Malcom and Callum, Ellie was not the only sister they ever had, but she was also their older sister, who cared for them when they were little and was their best friend until they realized girls were gross.

They had to help her.

“We will help you, Ellie.” Said Malcom, glancing to Dougal, who he considered their leader. “Why do you think he might be really dying, Cal?”

The boy, noticing that all the eyes (well, at least from his siblings) were over him, blushed heavily.

“There are stories of man who deals with black magic that often lose their strength to the dark forces.” He whispered, nervously. “The stories about Lord Gordon tempering with forces he shouldn’t deal with is known all over the Lowlands. Many say they are stories propelled by his enemies, but I really doubt that. Especially seeing him right now. Look at the spots in his head.”

The siblings turned their eyes to the bald spot in the Lord’s head.

“They are a weird shade of green and purple. They didn’t appear due to old age. His skin, the hue over his cheeks, the way he is coughing. Sure, maybe someone is poisoning him but… he has too many symptoms at the same time.”

They stayed in silence for a time, the clamor of the man drinking around them taking Eleanor to a faraway place, where no old man could mess with her.

“Even if Callum is not right…” Malcom said, pausing as Callum was trying to defend his theory. “Wait. I do not believe in your fairies, deities or supernatural forces. But that man could be playing with the devil and I’m not willing to send our only sister to a Satanist. We have to think of something.”

“I have an idea!” Mumbled Callum, anxiously. “But… I don’t think you are going to like it.”

Malcom sighed heavily and Dougal glanced at him, almost like asking for the boy to have a little patience with their baby brother.

“It involves anything that could be labeled as magical, Cal?”

Callum seemed a bit ashamed, as he nodded.

“Well, in fact, yes. But hear me out! It is a good plan!”

­­­­­­­­____________________

_September 1780_

“There you are! We thought you have gotten lost on your way.” Exclaimed Peggy, turning her head to see her husband and their friend coming inside the room. Adam remembered the room from one of his few visits with his cousin when they were barely children.

And it was extremely green.

Right now, the only green that remained in the space was the walls, lined with green venetian silk and the curtains, of a deep green velvet. The rest has been changed: the furniture was made of a dark wood and the cushions were cream colored. The wooden floor sparkled with care and a few tapestries could be seen, in the right places. It was a somber room, compared to the luxurious green and gold of the past.

“I liked what you did with the place.” Said, Adam, walking to the woman, who was struggling to get up. “It is still green but it is not like a feverish dream from a fairy.”

“Thank you.” She said, finally managing to get up, placing a protective hand over the growing belly in front of her. It was round, perky and, strangely, symmetrical. Peggy noticed Adam’s eyes over the bulge showing below her bodice and grinned. “Do you want to meet James?”

Adam could hear his cousin muttering under his breath and he couldn’t stop grinning with pleasure to the simple fact that Peggy could irritate William with such simple gestures. She was a pro, already.

“You indeed believe you’re gracing the ancient House of Ransom with an heir?” Adam joked, as he approached Peggy and gave two kisses on her cheeks. “A bit cheeky of you, to think like that.”

She laughed, a nice and warm sound that, for Adam, was the entire reason why William fell in love with her. He wished he could hear this laugh every day in his life.

“It’s not cheekiness if I’m right. And I am.” She answered, showing him his seat, while her husband helped her to get down, again. As she was seated comfortably, William kissed her in her forehead and went on to call the servants for the tea. “Do you want to enter our bet?”

“Are you kidding?” Adam asked, raising one eyebrow and forcing the laugh to stay deep inside his own body. “Are you two betting about the gender of your unborn child?”

William and Peggy looked at each other and turned almost at the same time.

“Naturally.” Answered William, returning to his seat. “Sometimes, the only way to show your stubborn wife that she is wrong is by putting money on the move.”

“The same applies to head-strong husbands.” Bickered Peggy, smiling to the man by her side. Just by the look they exchanged, it was clear the love that revolved around them, especially increased by the baby she was nesting with such care. “Anyway, you didn’t come here to see us bickering about the baby, although… what will you bet? A boy or a girl?”

How could Adam not hope for his own cousin’s wishes? If William wanted a little lady to call his own, with chocolate eyes and a quirky smile, he would bet on it.

“A girl.” He answered and smiled, as Peggy took a little notebook from the pillows by her side and took notes.

Before she could open her mouth, to ask for his money, surely, William interrupted her.

“No, you’re not doing that right now.” He paused, as the tea and cake were being placed in front of them. “Adam is here to enjoy his stay and not worry about a little usurer over his heels.”

Everyone was laughing and chatting, as the tea was being served and the cake was being tasted. Peggy rested satisfied, a look of pleasure in her face and a hand over her belly, as she saw the cousins remember of past vacations together and the fun they used to have.

Adam was glad he went to Ellesmere Park. It was almost like his life was back to its tracks. He loved the fresh air, the chilly wind blowing from the north, the nature sounds all over him. William was lucky to have such a nice estate and home.

“Would you mind, Adam?” He heard Peggy ask, but didn’t really paid attention to what she was saying. His eyes were lost on the small construction far away, a monastery of sorts, claimed by the nature and the time. He and William used to be so scared of it… But… Now… There was something weird about it.

Almost…

“Adam?” She asked again, with worry in her eyes.

He didn’t want to be pitied by his own family. He acknowledged that his life, for the past couple of months, had been a train wreck, but he was willing to change. Wasn’t he?

“I’m sorry, I believe I got distracted.” He answered.

“William mentioned to you that Mr. Fraser asked us to get some objects in his family manor, Lallybroch, in Scotland, didn’t he?” She glanced to her husband with doubt. “You see, he and his wife, Mother Claire, they are coming for the birth and we would like very much to help them to get what they want. It has been years since they visited the family home and I believe the journey would be too extreme for them, considering their old age.”

“It’s fine, milady. William told me all about it. I will fetch whatever you may need.” He bowed with his head. “I’m your servant.”

Once again, that amazing laugh was heard around the house.

“Oh, thank you, Adam. It’s not a big deal, just some jewelry left by Mr. Fraser parents. Some books, the family bible…” She said, sipping her tea. “Lallybroch is a bit far away, but I truly believe you will be back by the end of the month if you leave next week.”

A month in Scotland. That sounded superb.

And freezing.

“Sure. That is what family is for, right?”


	3. A lady in white

_September, 1447_

Well, that didn’t work out, Eleanor thought as she watched Lord Gordon from the other side of the room.

When the dinner finished and everyone gathered around the fire, Callum went to his room to fetch a potion that, according to him, would make the old man forget why he was so interested in the young MacDonnell lady. However, after he convinced the maid to pour the ember liquid in the man’s cup and he drank it entirely, his little beaded eyes kept staring at her.

Eleanor lost all hope that Callum’s potion would work out when she excused herself to her chambers and Lord Gordon called her name.

“Lady Eleanor.” He said, in a broken voice that reminded her of old paper or dust over a bookshelf. “If I could have a word with you. Privately.”

She glanced to her step-mother and her father, sitting on the other side of the fireplace and froze when she saw them nodding to her, with solemn looks on their faces.

Everyone around them understood the request and moved, leaving the room for the young lady and the older gentleman, who stood face to face, waiting. The only person that didn’t dare to move was Lord Gordon’s secretary, a slender and creepy man, who waited in the shadows for his master. As the last footsteps were heard going away, the noble started to speak.

“Do you know, my dear, why am I here?”

She took a long breath.

“Father mentioned you have an interest to be married with me, milord.” She whispered, faintly.

“Speak loudly, my dear. My ears are not the same they used to be.”

“To be married with me, milord.” Eleanor could her heart beating loudly in her chest. Suddenly, she had an idea. “Although, I could not fathom why I would have such honor.”

She usually dreaded Adaira’s speeches, long and boring conversations regarding the importance of education for a young lady. However, there was one thing she could remember clearly in her anxious mind: man loved to be flattered by the others. Especially by women.

She could see the lord smirk, gladly, and chuckle.

“Don’t lie to me, girl. You’re young and beautiful. They say you are quite smart and fearless too. You were waiting to be married with a knight or a younger lord, perhaps, not this bag of old bones.” He murmured, with his voice thin like paper.

She stood very quiet, not sure of how to proceed. Adaira never taught her that. She could only blink, flabbergasted, and wait.

“Your father agreed with my proposal today.”

She nodded, because… well… what else could she do? She couldn’t just kill him. This could start a war between clans, which would destroy everything her father struggled to build.

“You will not have a long engagement, I’m afraid. I’m too old and I have some business to attend over the Highlands. Fortunately, your mother told me your belongings are ready for your new life as a wife, am I correct?”

“My step-mother, milord.” She was able to mumble, out of spite. Adaira disliked the girl and was waiting for the moment Eleanor would go away from the castle since she had her first monthly flow. They detested each other since Ellie was old enough to understand that Adaira would never love her like a daughter.

Well, looking back, maybe not even her father loved her.

He didn’t apologize for his mistake. Lord Wallace just kept staring at little Eleanor, chin high and spark in her eyes, trying to grasp her breath and leave the room with some dignity. She looked lovely with her new dress and veil, her small waist being complimented by the rich brocade.

“Why?” She asked, finally finding the voice that screamed, enraged, inside her, demanding for justice and comprehension. “Why are you marrying me? You have sons and daughters to maintain the Wallace name. You don’t need money or lands. Why?”

Lord Gordon smiled. It was not a smirk or a snigger. It was a full on smile, that showed his crooked black teeth.

“You will be a good wife, girl. A curious mind… yes… and bravery.” He scratched his chin, licking his soggy lips with tongue. “Have you ever heard about unicorns, girl?”

She stared at him, unable to think properly. Why the man was talking about mythical creatures?

“Yes, of course.” She paused. “But…”

“The legend say that the unicorn is the purest of the beings. Its fur is made of moonlight, its horn, of pure diamond, and its blood can give the person who drinks it eternal youth. To protect himself from the man, who would scalp his fur, brake his horn and drink his blood, the unicorn can only be seen by maids, with pure hearts and magic in her veins. When spotted, the unicorn will lay in her lap and dream in a peaceful sleep.”

Eleanor felt uneasy by the story and the way the man kept staring her, with hungry eyes.

“I’m dying, my child. I played with things that no human should play with and I paid the price. But… unicorn’s blood… can save me. I can be young again. Forever.”

The sudden realization hit her in the face. She had heard the stories, about her mother. About the grandfather who couldn’t have any children and when, suddenly, one was born, it was barely alive. The child was a sickly thing, prone to fevers and coughs.

The chief was desperate when he placed the small bundle under a fairy tree and waited for the switch. When he returned, the next day, the baby didn’t had a fever and never got sick again. The fairies heard his wishes and granted him with one of his own.

“You have magic in your veins, Eleanor.” The man coughed. “Your mother was a fairy, brought to this world in exchange of a sickly child. I remember of her, green eyes as the moss and blond hair, so pale that it was like she was being touched by moonlight. I remember how she was quiet, so quiet, like she was longing for a different place.”

Dear God.

“You will bring me the unicorn, Eleanor. And we shall live forever.”

________________________

_October, 1780_

Adam was standing on the entrance, waiting for his horse to be ready for the trip. William had offered him a carriage, but Adam refused, kindly. The thing, even the vehicle built for an earl, with the best in terms of technology, was heavy and slow. As he glanced to the northern sky, dark and grey with rain or, maybe, an early snow, he knew it was not smart to go to the highlands on that monstrosity.

In a horse, he would take something around 3 to 4 days to get to Inverness, the city closest to Lallybroch. If he took the car, he would take, easily, 7 to 8 days, if the weather was fine and it didn’t rain.

Considering his luck, on the past few months, it would surely rain.

“Are you sure you prefer to go by horse, Adam?” Margareth asked, glancing to the same spot in the sky he was looking at. “I think it is going to rain.”

“That’s why I will be going by horse, Peggy.” Two weeks with the Ransoms and he was treating the countess like a sister. “The carriage can get stuck in the mud or fall on a hole along the way. It is dreadful to find a blacksmith to help change a wheel.”

She frowned, not very satisfied with the answer.

“You could wait a bit more, you know.”

He had already postponed his obligations a week, waiting for a better weather. However, each day that he postponed, it was a worse weather following after, the black and grey clouds gathering above the mountain ahead of him.

“I will be fine. A little rain is good for the lungs. And, anyway, I will be delivering only small goods. The crib is coming already, right?” He asked, turning to the lady leaning on the door frame.

“Oh, yes. Mr. Fraser already arranged the transportation. Rest assured.”

Adam nodded, keeping very quiet. His mind was still fumbling around the fact that the man, Mr. Fraser, husband of Mrs. Fraser that was once, for a small amount of time, Lady John Grey, was so involved in the birth of William’s first-born daughter.

“I already told you: Mother Claire is an amazing midwife. I will be at ease with her in Ellesmere Park for the birth of my first son.” Peggy replied, frowning to Adam.

“I know that but… You are not intrigued why the man is so interested as well? I’m going to fetch family heirlooms to give to you and William…” Adam paused. “William told me the man has a family.”

“Yes, he has. We are doing the man a favor, and, in return, he will give us the crib, which is very old and beautiful.” She said. “It was very kind of him.”

“Yes, it was.” But in his mind, Adam kept thinking about the case.

Peggy watched from the door.

“Why the sudden interest? I thought you and William had an unspoken agreement to never meddle into each other’s lives.”

_Touchè._

“I’m not asking William about it. I’m asking you.”

“So, why William found you, drunk as a skunk and almost beaten to death in a pub?”

“How do you know that?” Adam glanced to his cousin, talking to the groom.

“We are husband and wife. He tells me everything.” The woman said, her eyes glistening with victory. “So, the cat bite your tongue?”

“You’re lucky that William agreed on marrying you, or you would be an old spinster for the rest of your life. God, how he handles you?”

They stared at each other for a moment, before Peggy blurted laughing, making Adam follow her, cheerily. They laughed for a while, before Peggy was able to ask:

“You’re not answering me, are you?”

He shook his head.

“No, I’m not.”

“Well, good. I’m not answering any of your questions either.”

And the laugh continued, until William walked towards them.

“May I ask the reason behind all the fun?”

They exchanged glances, before Peggy could answer:

“I was having a last laugh before we send Adam to the wild lands of Scotland. Maybe, this will be my last memory of him. If he dies, dear, what do you think of naming our child Adam, in the honor of the man who died of fright the first time he laid his eyes on a highlander?”

William chuckled.

“I prefer James, darling.”

William and Peggy laughed, following Adam who gave up of their jest and marched towards the horse.

“I hate you two. You will be missing me, while I’m lost and lonely in a freezing country.”

“We are just playing with you Adam.” Peggy teased, exchanging warm glances with her husband. God, these two… “Now, do you remember everything?”

“Yes.” He said, with a sigh, taking a paper from his satchel and having a look at it.

“You will be fine.” Said Peggy, going towards the man and placing a hand over his. “Just take care, ok? I really do not want to name my child Adam.”

He smiled at her who went back to her husband and rested a reassuringly hand over her growing belly.

“I will, Peggy. By mid-October I will be back and you will have to complain to your husband that I’m getting on your nerves and that he should send me away to another quest immediately!”

What Adam didn’t know, as he parted Ellesmere Park towards the Highlands, was that the weather would not have mercy of him, nor his fate. The heavy storms that fell upon his head and the cold he got with them made him took more than a week to get to Lallybroch.

And by the time he got there, he had to deal with worried highlanders, who only let him leave when he was in a better shape to ride.

By the time he parted his way with the Murrays, it was the end of October and Samhain was approaching, calling for magic, ghosts, unicorns, fairies and brave girls running away from arranged marriages.

_______________________

_October, 1447_

Eleanor had managed to postpone the wedding for some days. She needed all the time she could arrange to think.

She had to have a plan.

After she left the room, feeling a chill climbing up her spine. She sprinted through the castle halls towards her brother’s room, telling them everything that happened and the true reason she was chosen to be married.

“Father must know! He would never let his only daughter marry a lunatic.” Malcom complained, watching Dougal stare at the wall, thinking. “We must tell father, Dougal. He would never…”

“Exactly.” The older brother pointed out. “He would never allow such thing. As an unmarried daughter of the chief, Ellies is too important to be married of like that. However, I know our father. If he is doing that, he has a good reason.”

“Maybe, Lord Gordon didn’t tell him the true reason behind his proposal. Father…”

“Our union with the Wallace clan would not benefit us from any aspect. Her sons would not be the heir of the land… Unless… Father is being threatened.”

A silence rested upon the room.

“That’s the only possible reason. We have allies but the Wallace clan is indestructible in battle. Before the peace with England, it took almost and English troops to contain them…”

“I will be married, then.” Ellie whispered, out of breath. “I can’t think of putting our family and our lands at risk, Dougal.”

“You can escape.” Malcom suggested. “A horse in the middle of the night and a nunnery, that’s all you need. Holy ground and…”

“He would follow her. Holy ground would not stop Lord Gordon of getting what he wants.” Said Callum from the other side of the room. For such a young boy, he seemed distressed. “Drink the blood of a unicorn is a man’s worst act possible in this world. He doesn’t care about anything, anymore. We need to send Ellie to a place where he would never…”

He halted and ran away, his steps echoing on the floor. Eleanor stood for a while with her brothers, but no one had any ideas. Everything they could think of would lead to their clan’s demise.

That’s why Eleanor stayed in bed for a week, complaining about a sudden sickness that got over her body. Maybe, the sickness was real, as she watched the servants coming and going, preparing for the nuptials, her new green dress being taken from her trunk with care, waiting to be used.

She had one more week and that was it. She spent the day before crying herself to sleep, alone and scared in her room. Dougal and Malcom would often come to make her company, but Callum did not once appear, locked in the office, with parchments and books around him.

“Ellie.”

She raised her head, fixed on the stones at her feet. She was dressed and ready, her hair smelling of roses, washed and dried with care by the maids. She was a bride and could show her hair without a veil, making it fall behind her back in soft waves. She was tucked in her dress, buttoned up and ready, the delicate velvet slippers glancing at her from the hem of the skirt.

Callum was there, looking miserable. It seemed like he hadn’t slept for days, his hair all over the place, parchment in his arms and falling towards the ground.

“I know how you will escape Lord Gordon.”

She could hear her heart thundering in her chest, as he entered the room, placing all the documents in her bed, unfolding the ones which interested him.

“But you will still marry him, do you hear me?”

She nodded, anxious. She didn’t care if she would marry the man or not. She was preparing to it for weeks now. The only thing important was being able to run from the man. Forever.

“He will marry you for you to attract a unicorn for him. So, I’ve researched. The legends surrounding the creature mostly come from a region in the highlands. It was not unheard of beings walking around there, specially in the Mackenzie’s land. Which many scholars connected to the presence of stone circles.”

“Stone circles?” She asked, confused.

“Yes. It is all over the place and many were teared down and the stones used to built churches and castles. They were a symbol of the druids who lived here and they scared the Christians, who didn’t understand its magic.” He continued, pointing to a map. “See? The Mackenzie’s lands. Right here, in the corner, is _Craigh Na Dun_.”

She watched the small dot in the parchment with care, before Callum folded and placed it in her hand.

“Now, Ellie, I need you to listen to me carefully. I’m almost sure Lord Gordon will take you to that region after the marriage, so you can save him as quickly as possible. In any case, I need you to convince the man to take you there, saying that you are sensing a magical presence. Pay attention, you need to be very careful, I do not know with what type of magic he deals with.”

“I don’t understand…”

“You will climb to _Craigh Na Dun_ during the Samhain, alone. Say that you need to be alone to call for the animal and that you will call when needed. You will be seating quietly in the middle of it until the sun starts setting in the sky.” He took an emerald and placed it in her palm. “Take the gem with you and think about home, with all your strength. If I’m correct the portal will close by the dawn of the next day, so youi have to be sure no one follows you, do you understand?”

Ellie nodded, feeling her mouth dry.

“I want you to leave the stones and go back to Glengarry as quickly as you can. Dougal will be waiting for you and you will never anything to fear. All will be well.” He said, without breath.

“I trust you, Callum. I do.” She whispered. “I will do exactly as you ask, but… I don’t understand. Where the stones will take me? I don’t imagine it’s very far, considering…”

“Not where. When.” He said, a smile appearing in his face. “By the time you arrive, all your problems will be gone. I promise you.”

And Ellie walked down the aisle with hope filling her heart.

She would be free and she wouldn’t have to feel so scared anymore.


	4. A lady on the run

_October, 1447_

She didn’t blink that first night. Eleanor stood very quiet in her bed, her hands holding tightly the bed sheets, her eyes wide awake watching the door of her chamber. Her maids had taken her out of the wedding dress, brushing her long hair until it was shining like copper over her shoulders to her waist.

She remembered of Lord Gordon’s speech, claiming that only a pure maid, untouched by a man could find his precious unicorn… However, as she laid wide awake in her bridal bed, she feared that his male urges would conquer his desire of power.

When she woke up the next day, she whispered a little prayer, noticing that she remained dressed and alone in her room, her body untouched and her heart light. The man hadn’t broken his promise and she sighed gladly, watching her maids entering the room, knowing that she would be left by herself until she was able to find the creature.

It was hard to say good-bye to her family. Adaira was glowing with complete and utter happiness: finally, the image of the former lady of the castle would leave them behind and would never return. She kissed Ellie in both cheeks and could almost spin with gratitude as the girl marched to her father.

Lord Leith MacDonell had a strange look upon his face, his blue eyes lost in the distance, watching the sickly old man climb with difficulty in his carriage while his daughter approached, carefully. The man turned his eyes to her and coughed, hiding his worries. Eleanor knew her father didn’t had much care for her, considering his past relationship with her mother and the fact she was not born a male heir, just a small silly girl.

“Father…” She started to say, but she stopped. What could be said right now? She was leaving, sold in marriage by her own father, only counting with her brothers to care for her.

“Go in peace, Eleanor.” He announced, his thunderous voice echoing around the courtyard.

What terrible words to say, Ellie thought to herself, trying to keep her head held up high.

“I wish… Things were different.” She whispered, glancing to the ground, feeling, for the first time in her whole life, defeated. She wished her father loved her mother. She wished she was a boy and her step-mother wasn’t Lady Adaira, but someone who would truly care for her.

She wished she had found a good match with a highlander man, like she had suggested to her father so many weeks past. A Mackenzie, with fiery red hair and bright blue eyes. They didn’t need to love each other. She just wanted them to have a nice relationship and care for their children together.

“Your destiny is sealed, my child.” He whispered back and, for the first time in her life, Ellie saw the fear glistening in his irises.

Her brothers embraced her with warmth. She finally thought she would break in front of all the courtesans, but she held her breath and blinked several times, feeling the heat coming from their strong arms and the faint smell of horse and hay coming from their hair.

“You know what you have to do, right?” Dougal asked in her ear, watching her with care until she nodded. Finally, he gave her one last hug and passed her to Malcom.

“We are waiting for you until the first snow hits the ground…” He started to whisper and Ellie stopped him.

“Don’t say foolish things, Malcom MacDonell. I’ll be here. I promise you.”

“She will.” Callum answered in a low voice, a hand over her arm. “You know the way, Ellie. And by the time you find us, he will be gone. Forever.”

Eleanor almost cried, hugging her younger brother with all her strength. She left him unwillingly, her head turning around all the time, her eyes trying to print in her memories the worried faces of her brothers.

She spent long days travelling to the border of the Mackenzie’s lands. On the first few days, while she was still travelling through the Lowlands, her days were not very different from each other. They would find a tavern or an inn somewhere along the road and she would be taken directly to her chamber.

She would have her supper alone (usually, a heavy broth with all the remains of breakfast and lunch), with stale beer and old bread. Her maid would come to prepare her to bed, the same way she did on her wedding night, clothing her with the best nightgown she had, a silk, soft thing that made her skin as pale as milk.

As usual, Lord Gordon would not appear in her room and, after some few days living the same routine, she started to go off sleep peacefully, without worrying about the old man jumping in her room and taken her unwillingly.

They were a large entourage, with all her chests and her belongings, her maids, the soldiers and the weird servants that Lord Gordon brought with him, men with solemn looks and extremely quiet, who would never talk with anyone at all. Due to the heavy carriages and the amount of people travelling together, they were travelling slowly than expected, taking many days on the way.

When they entered the Highlands, their nights started to be different. They would not sleep in taverns or inns. They would not take the King’s Road or talk with anyone along the way.

Camps were made around fires and tents were put up, where Eleanor would be taken to be cleaned with fragrant perfumes, her hair brushed and braided with flowers. She would be taken outside in a white dress, of fine venetian silk and brocade, so heavy that she thought she would not be able to walk wearing it.

Gladly, she would not have an awful time trying to be alone during those hours. Lord Gordon was certain that the odors coming from the men would terrify the poor, pure creature he was looking for. So, usually, Eleanor was taken to a meadow or the margin of a stream, where she would sit on the ground and wait till morning.

Then, she would wake up startled by the sound of the soldiers coming for her, taking her back to her tent, where they would dress her in her normal clothes for then to keep their journey, following the ancient places where stories about the mythical creatures were told.

She was right on time when they arrived near _Craigh Na Dun_.

___________________

_October, 1780_

“I’m extremely sorry, Mrs. Murray.” Adam said one more time, standing still in the Murray’s living room.

He had arrived at Lallybroch in a terrible state. It rained almost every day since he left Ellesmere Park and, when the poor horse got scared due to a thunder and launched him towards a freezing pile of mud, things got even worse.

He tried to go on. After all, the last thing he wanted was to spend more time than needed travelling through Scotland. As a pure Englishman, he had heard about the scots and he was not willing to test if it was true.

Alright, he heard the same stories about the Irish and that proved to be not true. So, why fear?

“Och, ‘tis not a problem, Mr. Grey. ‘Tis was a pleasure.” She said, smiling to the man with affection.

Due to his complete and utter dumbness, Adam kept going on top of his horse even with a high fever and sore bones. By the time he finally arrived at the small country house, after many days trying to take his horse out of mud and avoiding the main roads to not get robbed, he almost passed out on the front porch, to the complete horror of the elder daughter, Caroline, a girl of fourteen.

Since then, the Murray’s insisted on tending for Adam, bringing him back to his health, although even Mrs. Murray doubt of her capability of saving him. She would often whisper, late at night, when Adam was turning and tossing with fever, that her Auntie Claire would have made him recover quickly.

What a pity she would only arrive in a moon.

“Please, you really don’t need anything from Edinburgh?” He asked, nervously. “Maybe London.”

Adam was not used to be the very center of attention, which he remained for a long time, even when he recovered from the feverish dreams and could walk around the room without fainting.

Now, with his pockets filled with belongings from another family, he felt bad for leaving the Murray’s with nothing in return for their generosity. He tried to convince Mr. Murray to accept his money for the trouble, but the man took great offense when he mentioned that.

He tried to do some chores, while Mrs. Murray still refused to let him leave with his horse towards the South again. Once more, all the household in Lallybroch was determined to keep him as a visit, pampered and flattered all the time.

Specially pampered by Miss Caroline, with her huge brown eyes, that kept staring at Adam if she has seen love for the first time.

“I’ve told ye, Mr. Grey. Ye’ve done enough for us.” She answered, looking pleased with herself. “And ye got the letters, which are more important than any fabric or ribbons.”

He placed a hand over the internal pocket of his coat, where the bunch of letters were tucked neatly into. They were letters for the Fraser’s, who would be arriving in a few days, and Mr. Murray’s mother, who lived with her brother in North Carolina, tending for her niece and her younger son, who married a girl from the colonies.

Caroline, by the side of her mother, didn’t appreciate his departure. Maybe, she had such a frown over her face due to the fact she wanted French lace and ribbons, things she would never find in a small village such as Inverness, the nearest place where they could find stores.

“I still hoped you could stay a little bit more with us.” Mrs. Murray insisted. “Ye’ve been up for only a couple of days…”

“The man is healthy, Joan. No need to worry.” Said Mr. Murray, coming from the yard. Adam could see his horse ready, its hair shinning in the morning sun. “However, I still insist ye join us for the _Samhain_ , Mr. Grey. ‘Tis a tradition.”

Adam smile to the man. It was, indeed, very kind of them to invite him, a total stranger, to the family tradition. Tenants and independent farmers would gather by sundown to dance around a bonfire, eating and drinking in celebration of the new season that would be arriving in a few days.

“I really must go, Mr. Murray.” He said, walking towards the horse and stopping for a minute. “I do appreciate everything your family did for me. I will think of something to repay your kindness.”

The family waved their good-byes and for a split of second, Miss Caroline almost ran towards the horse. However, she stood very still, watching her first love leaving her house to never return.

Adam kept thinking of the girl for a long time. He remembered being dumb and in love, back in the Colonies, where it would only took a girl having a nice smile and a cunt to turn him head over heels.

He was ridiculous.

Now, as he rode slowly, his mind darted over and over to the family and the small pack of treasures in the purse his horse was carrying on the side. He needed to do something for them. An act of kindness. Respect.

Something that would lighten the burden of his consciousness.

That’s why, instead taking the King’s Road and riding south until he was too tired to think, he rode to Inverness and spent hours finding gifts for the elder Murray’s and the children. He even found a pretty necklace for Caroline, that would get the girl crazier in love for him.

Everyone in the small village knew the Murray’s and thought it was very kind of the Englishman to think so highly of their friends. Soon, the post office guaranteed the gifts would be sent first thing in the morning, with a supply of groceries Adam figured to be of Mrs. Murray satisfaction.

The sun was setting in the sky when he tried to leave, only being caught off guard by the owner of the little shop he bought the necklace for Caroline and the manager of the post office.

Before he knew it, Adam was back at the pub, drinking ale, surrounded by scots. The man sang and shout and played and, for a while, Adam forgot a bit of his duties. He liked the sense of camaraderie that all the pubs had, mainly due to drunkenness and the beautiful, young women who served the tables.

It was not until late hours that he found his way out of the room, jumping in his horse in a weird way, wobbling in the saddle towards the main road. He thought about getting a room on the inn nearby, just to wake up sober and whole, but disregarded the idea as soon he remembered that he would be sooner in Ellesmere Park as sooner he left Scotland.

Probably, due to his state of mind, the heavy eyes and the position of his shoulder, Adam didn’t feel the moment a heavy burden pushed him off the horse, making him land, face-first, on the dirt.

It was almost like the earth absorbed all the alcohol in his system, making him fully awake and sober in a split of second, watching his horse gallop away from him with a new rider on the saddle.

___________________

_October 1447_

Eleanor was nervous in her white gown, as she climbed to the top of the hill, surrounded by Lord Gordon’s soldiers. She could see the sun preparing to set behind the trees in the horizon and she could feel a strange…sensation over her skin.

Once, when she was a little girl, a horrible tempest hit Glengarry. The wind howled during all evening, making the trees bow under its power and the leaves fall from the branches. The lightning was the first thing Eleanor saw in the sky, white and fast, glowing among the grey sky, followed by the thunder, so close and so loud she could swear it was right upon her room. No rain hit the grounds, at first, while the lightning bolts and the thunders danced in the sky, damping her soul with that strange sensation, like a cold wind had hit her skin, the goosembumps crawling under her flesh.

She could see the stones, now, tall and powerful, grey as the clouds on that frightful day in Glengarry. She could see the bees buzzing louder and louder as they got closer to the ancient circles and she couldn’t help to move her hands across her face, trying to take the insects away from her.

“Are you well, milady?” The soldier by her right asked, glancing at her with a quizzical look.

“I’m fine, sir. Just trying to scare away the bees. I’ve never heard so many together.” She answered, still moving around her hands, with some difficulty, due to the large sleeves.

“I don’t see or hear any bees, milady. Maybe… It’s better if we return until…” The soldier murmured, looking around, searching for the little insects.

“No, sir. I’m sure it was merely an impression.” Eleanor added, stopping right away the movement with her hands and watching her surroundings. Indeed, she could not see the anxious black dots flying around or colliding against her cheeks. The sound was there, so loud, but without any physical reason.

She was left as usual, sitting by a corner of the circle, waiting.

She waited, anxiously, her hands clasped together, until she felt the first ray of light, so orange it was almost red, touching her skin through a passage of rocks. Then, she knew what she had to do.

Raising on her feet, she took the two topazes Callum had gave to her before her wedding on the palms of her hands. He had said to her, very seriously, that she must dance in circles among the stones, chanting the ancient song he made sure she knew it by heart. Now, as she danced like a farmer girl, with her heavy dress and the gems in her hands, she thought she must be looking very silly.

 _Focus, Eleanor_.

She danced and chanted in a low voice, feeling the sun over her skin, the buzzing of the bees in her ears so loud she couldn’t even think properly and the strange feeling crawling to her skin. She chanted and danced so long that she could almost imagine the drums beating to the rhythm of her footsteps, pulling her body towards the center, where the tallest stone laid untouched.

She was feeling dizzy and was almost throwing up when everything stopped. The buzzing, the crawling, the beating, the sun: it was dark and she was face to face to the ancient stone in the center, in her arms reach.

It was time. So, she tried to mentalize what Callum had asked her to: home. She tried to think of the glens around Glengarry, the meadows and the streams. The sound of the birds in the mornings and the howling of the wind at night. The smell of hay, the texture of horse hair in her digits, the sound of the men practicing their swords by her side.

However, as much as she thought about all the nice things she had in Glengarry, she couldn’t help thinking: was this truly home? Most of the time she would have to sneak away to gallop in her horse or practice with the men, as Lady Adaira didn’t think it was proper for a young lady to do that. Sure, Ellie had her brothers, who loved her with all they got… but it was not the same thing. They had their own tutors, while she had to beg for her father to learn her letters.

Lord Leigh would not care if she was alive or dead and Adaira thought she was a burden. Was that really home for her?

Or just a shelter, a place to rest her head when tired, to eat when she had hunger or to protect her when thunderstorms hit the green hills around the clan?

Her hands touched the cold stone and it felt like she was thrown away in the air, landing heavily on her side, out of breath and out of her mind. It took her a long time to breath steadily and hours to open her eyes. But she had to go. Callum had warned her that she must be on the move as soon as she touched the stones. By the time she finally opened her lids to the sky, it was already a deep blue, surrounded by the night sounds and the bright stars.

Ellie watched the grey monument in front of her and her mind tried to think what have just happened. It was surely… magic. True and wonderful magic, like her brother always said to them. However, now it was not the time to think of that.

She had to move. She had to leave.

A plan started to form in her mind, as she got up from the ground, watching her hands slightly burned where once stood the gems. If she wanted to be as far as she could from lord Gordon and his man, she must find a horse.

For a split of second, Eleanor considered stealing the animal from Wallace. She scraped that from her mind as soon as she realized she would have to enter the campsite to take the beast, making it almost impossible to leave without being seen.

No, she would go the other way round, towards the road that led the travelers to the Lowlands. With quiet footsteps and a shallow breathing, Ellie was on the move, glancing around to make sure she was alone and safe. Her head kept bobbing to the sky, dark and sprinkled with stars, knowing that she needed to be far away from the place when the morning comes.

She heard the sound of the hooves as soon as she got closer to the road. It was a horse, alright, walking slowly, in its own pace, while the rider bobbed around like a drunk.

God, he was drunk!

Eleanor was thrilled to notice the man, going up and down, left and right, his chin resting on his chest, while the beast did all the work. She found a low branch, that spread over the road and climbed on it with difficulty due to the heavy dress. On her knees, she gathered the skirt and opened a slit. _Yes_ , she thought, holding the branch with her hands and breathing steadily, waiting, waiting, waiting, until…

He was right under her and she launched herself, using her hands to swing her to the saddle, kicking him on his side and throwing the rider out of the horse. She landed badly and almost fell, using all her strength to pull herself up, holding the animal with her thighs and galloping away from the drunkard.

_That was easier than I thought it would be._


	5. A lady is caught

_November, 1780_

When Adam raised his head, the rider was already sinking his heels on the sides of the horse – Adam’s horse – and running along the way, the white cloak of the man flowing around him.

The lord hadn’t even time to think: all his belongings…well, goddammit, all of William’s and Mr. Fraser’s belongings… were on that horse, that was vanishing in the shadows like a dream. He just ran, ran towards the thief and the horse and the jewels.

Adam ran like his life depended on it and it could well be truth, considering that what was laying in his future was a very angry looking scot and a pregnant lady that he learnt not to dismiss.

However, it didn’t matter how fast he could run. It didn’t matter that he was considered the fastest boy in Eton and that he won several awards, thank you very much. He was even praised on the army for his light-foot and smart wits (that were failing him since he jumped on the goddammed horse over at Ellesmere Park).

No. He would never, NEVER, outrun an Arabic pureblood. William had chosen the beast himself, knowing that Adam would need a strong, resilient, and fast animal to get to and from Scotland in time.

That goddammed horse was perfect in every aspect and would never be a match for poor, old Adam. His feet start failing on him and the lord could only think that God was not on his side in that particular match and had sent, from heaven, the first thief that could ride an Arabic Pureblood and not be scared by the fiery temperament of that goddammed...

His mother would have cleaned his mouth with a soap by now, if he wasn’t deep in Scottish woods and chasing his own horse…

Wait! That was it! He knew everything about that fucking horse. He had stayed with the animal for weeks and learned all the quirks and snoots. That infernal horse hated…

“VREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!” He whistled and sure enough the horse reared out of nowhere, startling the man so much that he fell on the floor with a loud thud.

Adam kept running, seeing that the thief was not up to play and tried to control the animal, which was snorting around, screaming on the top of its lungs, eyes white as the moon above their heads.

Another whistle and the horse was on his hind legs, almost knocking the rider on the floor one more time. Adam was almost there, his breath shallower than he would like, but aiming for the figure, still trying to calm down the horse, saying:

“WOAH! WOAH, BOY! CALM DOWN!”

He must have heard his footsteps, as the thief turned around, watching in horror as Adam sped up, bending his torso to grab the man by the waist and shove him on the ground. That’s when Adam saw the bright green eyes of a lady, with long strawberry blonde hair falling on her face.

He didn’t even had time to consider what he was doing. He couldn’t wrestle with a… a girl, for god’s sake! But he was already involving his arms around her and pushing both to the ground.

He felt her entire body under his, her breasts pressed against his chest, her hands on his shoulders. With the impact, he heard her losing her breath under him and he almost mumbled an apology.

He ALMOST mumbled an apology because she was already hitting him in the nose with her head. He didn’t hear it cracking, which was a sound he grew accustomed to in the months he spent over London’s underground system, but it surely hurt, enough for him to sit straight and receive a knee in his balls.

“Fuuuuuuuuck.” He swore, collapsing on his side, watching the girl trying to get up, towards the horse.

Promptly, Adam caught her feet with his free hand (the other was, sadly, swaddling his hurt balls). The emerald eyes turned to him and he saw the other leg preparing for a kick he surely deflected.

She tried once more but this time he was able to grab the other ankle, pulling her under him. For a split of second Adam thought he had caught the girl and rejoiced. That little devil was faster than he had figured out. She was breathing heavily under him, the pink locks sprawled around her, cheeks flushed under the skin, pale as milk. Oh, how lovely would be, to kiss those red lips…

Before he couldn’t even notice, a strong, soft thigh was around his shoulders. He glanced at it, the white skin showing under the slit in her dress, slit that was climbing over her thighs, towards her hips.

Why he suddenly felt thirsty? That didn’t even make any sense. Why she had one thigh in his shoulder, the velvet skin rubbing against his cheek and making him hard as… fuuuuuck.

Her other thigh was on the other side of his neck, tighter and tighter. For God’s sake he fell for this move! What was he? An imbecile? She was using her thighs, as slender as they were powerful, to make him lose his breath, not because they were soft as peaches and most formed to be bitten by his teeth, but because they were physically blocking the passage of air to his lungs.

Like a dimwit, he was holding tightly to her legs, as if it was enough for her to open them for him…

_God, what she is doing to me?_

Her green eyes were too interested in the reddish tinge his face was getting and didn’t notice his hands climbing to her own neck. The girl must be using her thighs instead of her arms because it was the stronger part of her body. To a man, in terms of strength, she was always going to lose using her upper body. But her legs… that was another story.

But Adam had very strong arms. And hands. And, quite nicely, he knew exactly the right amount of pressure, during the certain amount of time, in the right spot, where he could dismount a beast like The Irish.

So, for a tiny girl like her, it would be a matter of…

And soon enough she was laying on the ground, very still but not dead, you see. Adam could be a brute and was almost heavily beaten by a girl, but he still had principles. Some principles, not as many as before. A few that were enough for him to sigh in relief, take her thighs around his neck and find a rope.

In the morning he would be taking her to justice and would be back to his plan.

_______________

Eleanor woke up with the first rays of sunlight hitting her face. For a moment she blinked, trying to remember where she was and what had happened. Her head hurt and her mouth felt dry, as she recollected the images in her brain.

She remembered the thunder, the goosebumps in her flesh, the swarm of bees. The smell of burning in her flesh, the impact of her bones on the ground. She remembered the grey stones, the sky full of stars, as she looked for a horse to escape.

Escape!

She needed to be far away from _Craigh Na Dun_ by the time the morning came! And it was already dawn. She tried to breath steadily, feeling the soreness on her throat and the dryness of her tongue, as it slid over a different object in her mouth.

Almost as an explosion she remembered the drunk man coming down the path in his horse. She had stolen the animal from him! She remembered it quite clearly…

 _Oh, no…_ She thought, remembering the fight that issued, followed by a sudden darkness. Had she fainted?

She surely felt dreadful, her body aching in all the wrong parts and her thighs sore from the effort. Eleanor always thought she was strong enough to deal with every man or woman who crossed her path with ill intent, but perhaps she misjudged her abilities.

If she had her bow and arrow or her sword, things could have been different. She would not found herself tied in the woods, somewhere far away from home, in a tore gown and an aching head.

“Well, good morning, sleeping beauty.” Came a voice from behind her, making the girl open her eyes, watching the trees covered in moss by her sides. “I thought I would have to wake you from your slumber with a kiss.”

Oh, that deviled man… As she didn’t had enough problems without him…

A movement on the corner of her eye made Eleanor aware of a man, coming towards her. She remembered of the hunched drunkard in his horse and the blurred frame fighting her on the ground.

She didn’t recall how pretty were his eyes, blue like a frozen lake, long and dark lashes covering what she could read in his irises. He had a long nose, crooked to the side, as if he had broken it and never cared to put it in place, paired with high cheeks and a strong jaw.

She liked the way his lips were full and arched, enough for her to feel them with her digits, before kissing them…

_God, Ellie, you are losing your mind!_

But she couldn’t help to think how his dark blond hair would feel on her hands, or wander how thick was his neck, burrowed under his cravat. She couldn’t really discern with her thighs… God, her thighs WERE around his neck. What she was thinking?

“Any last words before I send you to justice?” He said and she opened her eyes wide.

He was sending her WHERE?

“Oh, don’t look at me as if you did nothing wrong. You tried to steal my horse.” He pointed out, which made her open her mouth to correct him that, as a matter of fact, she had, indeed, stolen his horse.

But when she did that, she noticed that everything she tried to say went out muffled. And right as she expected, a rag was on her mouth. She tried to complain about it, but only incomprehensible noises came from her lips, which made her even angrier.

“Don’t blame me! I sure didn’t want to caught attention before the time.” He answered, raising his hands. “If anyone saw you tied like that, they would have thought that I was a vile man and not the other way around.”

She complained again, making muffled sounds. She was not a vile woman. She was just… desperate.

“What?” He asked, watching her with doubt. “What do you want to say so much? It doesn’t matter your motives, I’m still taking you to the guards.”

She shook her head, flabbergasted. Could be a man be more insufferable?

“IF I take of the rag, will you stay quiet, for the love of God?” He asked, which she answered nodding her head repeatedly.

He sighed and walked towards her, untying the not behind her head and taking the rag, carefully, of her mouth.

“Ptui!” She spited right as the tissue left her mouth, using the last moisture she had in her cheeks.

“For God’s sake, woman!” He said, watching her with a furrowed brow, cleaning his cheek with one hand. “I am trying to be nice here, but you are not letting me. When I saw you the other night, I really tried to not knock you out. But you kept hitting me, so I’m not the one to be blamed.”

“You deserved that.” She said, in a crooked voice and a sandy mouth.

“The audacity…” He started to say but was interrupted.

“Water. Now.”

“Do you think you are in any position to demand things here, girl?” He raised one blond eyebrow, which made her stomach drop in a weird way. She had never felt like that before, the strange tightening of her chest every time he looked at her with those heavy eyelids…

_Ellie!_

She tried to spit again, but her mouth was so dry by now that she was only able to cough.

“Calm down!” He mumbled, closing his eyes and sighing heavily. “Ok, what do you think of this: if you promise to not spit on me again, I will give you water.”

She just glanced at him with blank eyes. As if she was going to agree with such a terrible promise.

“Alright, I will give you water and will not take you immediately to the guards. But, BUT, if you try to steal my horse again, I will not be as gentle as I was with you. Are we settled on that?”

She nodded slightly. Ellie clearly doubted that the man would try to injure her. He had a way of speaking that showed he was a literate man, maybe a knight or a minor lord, considering the callouses in his hands and the way his shoulders were so broad and…

 _Focus, Ellie_.

“Oh, yes. Wait a second.” He said, walking towards a bundle by the next tree, near the remnants of a fire, taking a canteen and bringing to her.

He placed the opening in her mouth, helping her tilt her head with his hand. The water was cold and nice in her tongue and Ellie was thrilled she could taste things again. She smacked the tip of her tongue against her palate and smiled, which made the man look at her with a… weird… face.

“I believe it would be nice if we introduce ourselves first.”

__________________

Adam was caught of guard when she smiled at him. She was even prettier in the morning, if that was possible. Her eyes were the same color of the moss in the trees around him, shadowed by heavy lashes. Her strawberry blond hair fell in her shoulder to her waist, soft and delicious, waves and waves of the most vibrant shade of… orange.

Her skin, pale as the moon, was flawless, which was something very rare for men or women. Even he had chicken pox when he was a child, with marks that could still be seen over his chin and his cheeks, if you look close enough.

Well, she was perfect, with the tiny nose and pink cheeks, the lips that were cute and small like a rose button. She still had some flours in her hair and over her what was once a white gown, which was very…sober…for a stunning girl like her. Except for that slit, running from her ankles to her hips. She was wearing leather flat boots and white stockings, embroidered with tiny flowers and foliage, up to her knee, tied with a ribbon. From that point forward, it was only velvety, tender, pale skin…

“Sir, your name.” She insisted, making Adam’s eyes go back to her pretty face.

“I believe, it would only be fair if you start, miss.” He pointed out. “After all, it was you who tackled me and tried to run away with my horse.”

She smiled again, that same smile that took his breath and made his fingertips feel funny. However, as she started to answer him, a bird shrieked behind the woods, making her look up, with startled eyes, wide and bright with… fear…

“Maybe we should be doing this in the horse.” She said, licking her lips. “I would certainly prefer, sir.”

He raised one eyebrow, looking around. He was 100% sure it was just a bird, trying to lure a female to his side. Or maybe being attacked by another larger bird. He was not a very good listener to the ancient mating sounds of nature.

“Are you waiting for someone, miss…?” He let the last word stay on the air for as long as he could, waiting for her answer.

“Eleanor. Eleanor MacDonnell.”

So, she was Scottish. Well, he imagined she had a faint accent, the r’s that rolled in her tongue when she spoke, but it was not very noticeable.

“Well, Miss MacDonnell, a pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Adam Grey. Now…”

She looked at him, suspiciously.

“Can we leave, please?”

“Are you in a hurry, dear?” He teased, flashing his white teeth to her.

“Don’t call me dear.”

“Answer my question.”

“I will certainly not. Until now, I’ve been tackled by a man, deep into the woods, in the middle of the night, tied and gagged. I do not know your intentions or your how you’re called and only by mentioning my family name, I already put myself and all my clan in danger.” She looked around, her eyes darting to foliage, moved by the forest creatures. Adam wondered what she meant by talking about her clan… They were all dismantled after the raising, in Culloden Moor…

“You forgot, my dear, that it was you who tackled me first, ran away with my horse, then hit me in the nose, then hit me in my balls, then tried to hit me again with your feet and suffocate me with your thighs. It should be me who is worried with my safety.”

His little speech made her smile faintly. Adam sighed, in anguish. That girl was so… stubborn.

“You’re safe here, Miss MacDonnell. I certainly don’t know what happened to you or what made you steal a horse, but I would sure like to listen and help you as best as I can.” He paused, thinking. “If you promise to not hurt me again. My balls are still hurting from yesterday and if I do not have children in the future, I will blame you.”

She laughed – truly laughed – at his response, her emerald green eyes shining in the morning sun.

“Are you’re a knight, sir?”

He looked at her, confused. God, was she one of those types of girls who lived by cavalry novels, like King Arthur and the Knights of the round table or whatever the Scottish equivalent?

“A knight?” He blurted, like a fool.

“Yes, a knight. Certainly, for you to be so confident on your capacity to keep a maid safe and sound, surely, you are a famous knight of sorts.”

Oh, she was mocking him, that little devil.

“Not a knight, no.” He smirked, blinking in what he thought it was a seductive manner. _What am I doing?_ “You can say that I’m, somewhat, familiar to thugs and ruffians and I know exactly what to do to them. Does this easy your consciousness, milady?”

He teased her and she shrugged her shoulder, defeated.

“I believe that you will have to do.”

That damned little devil.

“Now, can we leave?” She added, watching a small bunny jumping from a bush.

“We are fine here, for now. After you answer my question, then we can leave.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Fine, go on.”

“What are you running away from?”

She blinked, multiple times, fast as the wings of a hummingbird. She crisped her lips, wetting them with her pink tongue, deciding what to say and how to say to him. Adam was sure that she was in trouble and did not had stolen him from ill intent. She seemed desperate and lonely, in her white dress with flowers in her hair.

Well, he could be terrible wrong. Maybe he would be found in a ditch somewhere, with his throat cut and all his belongs stollen. But he was gladly paying to see the outcome.

“I was married, you see. To a vile, terrible man. He was truly dreadful. We were going north, to the Mackenzie’s lands when I escaped. I did as my brother told me to do and… I’m truly sorry about your horse, but Callum had asked me to leave the stones as soon as I saw my path free of… him. I need to go back home, to Glengarry. They’re waiting for me. My family.”

He just nodded. He grew by the shadows of Hal and John Grey, the two most noble men he had met in his entire life. Surely, he had strayed along the way, but the righteousness taught the two men during all his life was still buried deep in his brain. And even with his nose and his balls still aching from the assault last night, it was enough for him just to watch her sorrowful eyes, shrug and say:

“Well, lead the way. I’m sure you don’t want for your brothers to wait for way too long.”


	6. A lady on the way

_November, 1780_

“Excuse me?” She said, raising her eyebrows. Adam, who was walking towards his belongings, stopped on his tracks. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Taking you back home?” He asked, looking confused to the girl that was disheveled and dirty on the floor.

“Why?” She asked, shock completely changing her features.

Adam shrugged, like it was not a big of a deal.

“Well, you said that you needed to go back to your family’s home, Glengarry.”

“Yes…But I never invited you to come along.” She frowned her brows, frustrated.

Adam sighed, going out of sight with his bundles, to place on the horse.

“And how would you travel to your lands, dear?”

He could hear the annoyed sound that came from her mouth and almost felt in his back her eye roll, while he prepared the animal for the long journey ahead of them.

“With a horse, that you would, gracefully, arrange to me. If you can’t recall, sir, you tackled me last night and for the trouble I faced, YOU should get me a fine and nice mount for my journey.”

Adam turned around, walking towards Lady Eleanor on the ground. Her beautiful white dress was dark with mud, thorn in many places, flashing her skin to the sun. He was tired of her ego and her stubbornness and wanted, dearly, to left her to rot in the woods.

Or be tackled by robbers on her way home.

However… He could listen, whispering in his ears, the voice of good ol’ Hal, the man that let a commander of the scots flee from his grasp due to the fact he owned a blood promise.

She could be insufferable, like a kitty cat with long claws, but he couldn’t let her fend for herself, alone and scared like she clearly was. So, he sighed and kneeled on the ground, facing her.

“We already talk about last night and we know who tackled first. Now, I was raised to fend for those who cannot fend for themselves…”

“I can fend for myself…” She interrupted, looking annoyed.

“My dear, you may think you can but look at you. You were tied and gaged, despite of all the jabs, kicks and punches you gave me last night. Yes, I believe you would be able to find food and shelter, while travelling far away from the main roads.” He paused, unaware how to say that. After all, yes, he was taught to take care for those in need, but the main reason he was doing that right now, the reason that crept in the back of his mind, while he stared at her soft skin was how formidable and red her lips were. “However, you are a pretty girl. Eventually, you would find men and they walk in groups around here. You made a good job fighting me, but what about three, four men? Tall and strong, with no conscience to trouble them at night, while they spread your legs apart and…”

“Stop!” She shouted and the echo of her voice filled the void of the forest. “Oh, you’re so full of yourself, sir. I understand what could happen to me, but do you believe you would be able to scare those men away, if they indeed have vile intentions?”

Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes wide, blinking towards him with green irises promising the mysteries of the woods and its inhabitants.

“I would certainly try and, if I was not successful, I would sure give you time to run away and find sanctuary.”

He barely noticed the words that were leaving his mouth, words of sacrifice and honor. Words that he was not used to, as he lived a life of sin and emptiness. Up to now, he had nothing to give or to lose, so why…WHY…he was offering his life to that fairy, that creature that jumped over him in the middle of the night and had smitten him with her smile?

She was shocked, as she highlighted:

“I…I barely know you.”

She was right, of course.

“And I barely know you. However, Lady Eleanor, you are alone, running away from a terrible husband and managed to find me on your away, a terrible man who was raised by the best.”

He let the silence sink among them, as she blinked, confused. He felt naked, voiceless, scared, with words that he was not ready to speak out loud being poured over a stranger.

To lighten the mood, he decided to ask:

“And it is a nice way to enrage you. After all, if you’re lying and made all this story just to take from me a nice horse and saddle, it would be really nice to see what would you made up once we arrive at the supposed home of your clan.”

This made the sparks come back to her eyes, as she furrowed her brow and whispered:

“Your insufferable beast…”

He laughed and held her tightly, pulling her up to her feet. They stared at each other for some time, her head tilted upwards, to make up for their difference in height. So small, so delicate…

 _Focus, Adam_.

“So, what do you say?”

___________________

She had to say yes. Sir Adam had some good points and she, indeed, had some fears regarding her safety. Not because of the brutes who could take her unwillingly, but because of her husband, Lord Gordon, who she was almost sure was up to their tracks, looking for his precious wife.

So, she saw herself mounted on the beautiful pure blood, her thighs scrubbing against the riders, as they walked along the road with such… calm. She had explained to him how to get to Glengarry, based on her knowledge and the few times she travelled to another clans. She figured that, in six to seven days, they would be there, to the complete horror of Sir Adam.

“It was your idea to take me to my castle.” She pointed out.

“I’m already late on my obligations… I will have to send a letter as soon as possible.” He complained, looking straight ahead with a furrowed brow, as if he was really worried about his schedule.

She didn’t try to quarrel further. It was the best solution for her case and, at least, he was a nice company, when he was not being so over himself and calling her pet names, like she was his lover. He was quiet, most of the time, and even allowed her to remain untied, with the condition that she would not try to hit him again and flee with his horse.

No, it was fine.

Her brothers would like for him to be payed generously for escorting their sister back to the clan. Her father and her step-mother would not approve of it, but Dougal being the heir and approving of her escape… that would have to be enough.

Now, surrounded by the strong arms of Sir Adam, Ellie allowed herself to think about the future, that seemed so bleak not so many days ago. Surely, there would be some trouble, but Callum had assured her that everything would be fixed and Lord Gordon would no longer be a problem for her. She didn’t know and didn’t care about what her younger brother would do to the man, as long it would guarantee that she would remain safe in Glengarry.

She felt the rider pulling her closer to his body, assuring she would not fall from the mount, and a strange sensation slid down her belly, towards her lady parts. It was like molten fire, destroying her insides and giving her a tingly sensation, as his wide torso gently scrubbed her back.

 _Focus, Ellie_.

Look at her, being so stupid, thinking about the stubborn and egocentric knight, while she could be thinking about the future, a future where she would no longer be married or defenseless.

Well, unless… she would still be defenseless. After all, she may be free from the grasp of Lord Gordon, but… as she would be an unmarried maiden once more, her fate would still lay in her father’s hands.

Maybe this time he would consider the marriage to a Highlander. She didn’t seem to mind, being so far away from home, not being able to visit her brothers she loved so dearly. She would certainly miss them, but could, gladly, leave Glengarry behind, exploring new lands with her new husband, young, tall and blond, who would be her equal in all matters, in field and in her bed…

“I will be back in some minutes.” The soft voice came from behind her and she was startled by the goosebumps that climbed her arm with the sound.

Ellie finally noticed they were not on the road anymore. They were over a small village, bubbling with life.

“Where are you going?” She asked, startled.

“The post office, remember? I’ve told you…” Sir Adam said, jumping off the horse and turning to see her. “I need to post a letter, informing that I will be delayed for a few days. While I’m here… What do you think of a new dress?”

Ellie glanced at her gown, watching the slit climbing up to her hips, flashing smooth, pale skin for all to see. She suddenly felt ashamed of how she was dressed, the stains in the fine fabric, the shreds all around the skirt, where it got thorn when she and the knight fought like animals in the night.

However, she was insecure of changing her garb. The sentinels would recognize her as a lady by the quality of her gown, even dirty and tore like it was right now. This would allow her entrance to the castle and her reunion with her family.

Nothing else.

“I would prefer to stay with the dress, sir.”

He nodded, his eyes glancing to her thighs all the time, his irises getting darker with the emotions that ran under his skin, emotions that Eleanor, a maid and a high-born lady, sheltered from the world, would never recognize, despite the sensation that the same feelings were running in her veins as well, while his eyes were so close to her skin.

He sighed and closed his eyes, coming closer to her leg, making her shiver without any reason. Since her escape, her body was doing things she didn’t fully comprehend, especially regarding Sir Adam Grey, the man that she wanted to press her lips against with the same will she wanted to punch his face time and time again.

Before she could even notice, a heavy and long piece of tartan was over her, covering the slit in her dress and herself from prying eyes. She recognized the red, green and blue tartan from the Murray clan, which made her rise her head in search of his eyes, which were gone.

She kept wandering about the tartan that covered her, siting in the horse, while he posted his letter in the few minutes he was out. It was so quick that she was surprised by the closeness of his body and the movement of the animal, making her blurt:

“I thought your name was Grey, not Murray.”

This caught his attention, that stood quiet for a while, pondering. Was he lying to her? The ice covered her skin with that thought, running down the road, as she was suddenly conscious of his closeness and the fact that the road was indeed very empty.

She was ready to tackle him again, despite her promise, when he answered.

“They are friends. Good friends. Good people.” He paused, cleaning his throat. “When I got to their house, I was so sick they thought I would die in front of them. But they took care of me and I was healthy once more.”

He spoke with such tenderness that she suddenly relaxed, again, in his embrace. No one that was lying would talk with such… love.

“Anyway, I have good news.” Sir Adam broke the silence, mostly because he felt ashamed of the way he spoke about his friends and what happened to him. She only got the most basic notions about her knight, a man that was always keeping secrets. It was a blessing to see just this brief glimpse of his life. “I’ve talked to some people and they believe that we will be able to arrive in Glengarry in three days, keeping a fast pace and going by the main road.”

Main road? She thought, confused. There was no main road leading to Glengarry. The roads the romans used, so many centuries ago faded with time and no one never thought to rebuild it. Maybe he was talking about the small trail they often used, marked by the spin of wheels instead by the labor of man.

She didn’t ask, however. She preferred to keep her thoughts to herself, the same way her silent knight would do with his.

___________________

He was losing his mind.

The movement of the horse made her arse, so round and soft, rub against his hips, over and over again, making his erection get so hard that he thought he would faint on the middle of the road.

Even with the tartan the Murray’s had given to him to protect his body from the chilly Scottish nights, he would feel every inch of her body close to him. Every. Tasty. Inch.

Lady Eleanor was awfully quiet and Adam was almost sure it was due to the fact that she recognized the hard surface she was rubbing against. He tried to think about other things, count sheep, remember the pranks he used to devise in Eton with his friends or reminisce about the way Lady Woolworth, who was nearly ninety, tits would hang from the deep cut of her gown, _à la française_.

Nothing helped.

It was a blessing when he realized the sun had gone down for a long time and it would be better if they found a spot to rest until the next day. Two more days of suffering, and he would be free from the foolish promise.

He would be free from that wonderful arse.

“Why are we stopping?” She asked seeing the horse slow down, as he entered the woods around the road, in search for a shelter. “Where are we going?”

“It’s too late, milady. We need to find a spot to rest.” He answered, trying to recognize the region despite the darkness. He could hear, getting closer and closer, a bubbling stream, a nice place to be near, as they would have food to eat and water to drink. “Yes, right there.”

“No, we are not.” She added, like she had any saying on where they would rest. “We can’t sleep here.”

He saw her head moving around, as he jumped of the horse and tied the animal to the low branch of a tree. He tried to catch her by the waist, helping her to dismount, but the frisky kitty cat moved out of his reach, almost falling from the saddle.

“And why can’t we sleep here, my dear?” Adam asked, awfully tired.

“We don’t have any tents!”

The laugh bubbled from Adam’s chest and he couldn’t stop it from coming, overflowing the forest with the joyful sound.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness.” He added, wiping a tear. “I didn’t know your skin were so sensitive. I beg your pardon, my liege. I will make amends to this.”

“Oh, your outrageous beast!” She shrieked, as he finally took her out of the mount. “You keep making fun of me like I am a common wench! You are no knight, sir!”

“I’ve told you I was not a knight.” He pointed out, walking away and gathering some branches on the ground. “It was you who kept calling me that.”

He could hear her soft footsteps behind him. It would be so easy, just to whisk her away from her feet, lay her over the leaves and kiss her senseless. But he had already enough problems as it was and would be better minding his business, gathering the wood and scrubbing the stones to make a spark.

“I was doing that as a sign of respect regarding your good nature and the compromise to take me home, despite the fact that I’ve assured you that I can fend for myself. However, I refuse to keep calling you that.” She said, and Adam could feel the hate drip over her tongue.

“So, what will you call me?” He asked because he was stupid and liked to tease the girl. Tease her would take his head of the joining of her legs, a place where his mind would constantly wander, despite the fact he was trying, terribly, to pay attention and light that damn fire.

“I will not call you. I will not talk to you at all. You don’t deserve to hear my voice, altogether.”

He couldn’t help but smile and the sparks flew around and touched the branches, making a small fire.

“But you are talking to me.”

“Not anymore!”

“You’re still talking to me.”

“Oh, your conceited, degenerated…pig!” She screamed, as he got up from his small creation and looked at her.

The trouble was in her eyes, glistening with rage and fury, making her cheeks get rosy and her lips swell. She looked like a goddess, the most dangerous one of the pantheon, but the most beautiful as well. To glance at her power would be a matter of life and death… To taste her skin would be so great an offense, that he would have to remain his days in a long and terrible torture…

It would be so easy, just to take her head in his hands, and tilt her chin towards his, making those lips adjust to his own. It would be easy but his mind was alerting him of the perils, of the stain in what was left of his honor and the disgrace that would befall him before he could count to ten.

He was thinking that, trying to take away her pretty eyes form his mind, as he slid the tartan from her shoulders, to place it on the ground, so that she could sleep without the earth touching her soft skin. However, when his hands touched the skin of her arms, she shivered and something sparkled in her eyes, her mouth opening in a muted “Oh!”, the goosebumps crawling her skin up to his digits. He couldn’t say and, maybe, he wouldn’t be able to speak a word due to the lightning that involved them in that weird moment.

And the moment was broken as she stepped back, his hands were away from the soft skin and his oblivious, stupid mouth was able to say:

“Here is your chamber, my princess.” As he laid the tartan on the ground by her side.

He could see her face changing from that absolute shock from the soft touch exchanged seconds ago to the absolute face of exasperation. She opened her mouth to say something, probably something along the lines he was the worst man to live, when she closed abruptly, probably recalling the fact she promised she would not speak to him again, laying on the fabric with her back turned to him.

As Adam walked to the other side of the fire and laid on the hard ground of the Scottish plains, he couldn’t help but thought about the strange moment he had with Eleanor, where it could almost appear that, as their skins touched, their souls touched as well. Was it too insane to think that right on that moment he saw lust reflecting on those green irises?

With that nonsense in his head, he turned around and tried to sleep, remembering how warm was her shoulders under his digits.


	7. A lady in his dreams

_November, 1780_

She woke up with a grunt. A deep sound that echoed in her bones and made her sit straight, confused, looking around her surroundings. She had to blink for a few moments, trying to remember why she was so freaking cold and why she could smell the pines so close.

She sighed, as she recalled exactly what happened and almost laid down again, tucking herself in the tartan, so thick and smooth…

Another sound, like a growl, came from the other side of the camp. The goosebumps were in her flesh, as she looked around, the heart beating fast in her chest. The fire was still going, the red flames covering the small radius of the camp, but not big enough to show Ellie what was beyond the trees.

She hoped to not see the yellow glowing eyes in the darkness. God, she hated wolves almost as much as she hated her step-mother. Once, when she was just a little older than a toddler, she found herself lost and alone beyond the gates of Glengarry.

Alright, that was not entirely true.

Ellie had fled, tired of staying in her chamber, high in the tower, while her brothers played pretend, screaming like banshees, faking injuries and chanting war hymns, while she was sitting, angrily, by the window. Eleanor was determined to play pretend with her brothers and damned be all if they thought she would be the princess to be saved one more time.

She would be a freaking knight.

However, when she got to the courtyard, her brothers were not there. She saw their wooden swords on the ground, and, slowly, Ellie took one, looking to each and every side, just to be sure no one was watching her stealing what was not hers to take.

With the sword in hand, she felt bold. She was, suddenly, a true and real knight, capable of doing everything. Including vanishing from the castle grounds, seeking her own adventures and her own dragons to slay.

So, she went outside, almost dragging the heavy wooden sword behind her, humming softly to herself, thrilled by the quest she had chosen for herself: the pond beyond the woods.

It would be obvious to anyone, but a five-year old, that it was not a good plan to roam by herself by the forest. She could get lost, after all. And get lost she did. She spent hours trying to find the pond, that once she went with her nanny, a pond that was nowhere to be seen. However, as much as she roamed, she couldn’t find it and, for her horror, the sun was starting to set on the horizon.

That was it: she needed to go back home.

However, by then, she was incredibly lost, so deep in the woods, for her, that she would never go back. So, she sat on the ground and did what a five-year old would do: cry.

She cried until it was too dark for her to see anything, her eyes aching from her tears and her body convulsing from the gulps she was releasing in her throat. When she felt too tired to keep trying, she sniffed, raising her head from her folded arms, trying to think where she could sleep.

That’s when she saw the eyes, glowing in the darkness and the snarl that followed. It was a matter of luck, though. Probably, as soon as she got out of the castle, someone noticed her absence. It was just a matter of time, the guards seeing the mark of the sword zig zagging their way until they heard her soft cries.

That was why, before Ellie could even scream of complete terror, the glow of a torch took over her, scaring away the hungry beast. She was taken back to the castle in the arms of one of her father’s soldiers, where she was scolded and grounded for many days, prohibited of going anywhere until she learnt that she would never, ever, be allowed to roam, alone, the woods.

She heard again, the growl, and she crawled closer to the bonfire, thinking if it would be a smart thing to scream. If she had her bow or her sword, the wolf would not be a problem.

She would just kill him.

But, without any weapon to protect her now, she felt powerless. Maybe, she could wake Sir Adam up. No. She would not do that. The vain, ignorant man… She promised she would not talk to him anymore. He didn’t deserve to be called sir and he was not allowed to hear the sound of her voice. And, after all, she could deal this, thank you very much.

She was a trained knight, her father liking that or not.

Then, the sound was not a growl anymore. It was a cry… low and long, coming from somewhere behind her next to the fire.

Ellie turned around to see Adam squirm, his legs moving slightly, as his shoulders trembled and his face was frowned with… pain. Ellie started to move, slowly, towards the man, noticing that he was moving, slowly, to position his legs and his hands in front of his belly, almost as protecting himself.

The cold night hit her with sudden realization that her knight was having a nightmare. She knew nothing about Sir Adam Grey besides his name and the fact he was in a quest and that she delayed him from completing it.

Now, watching him tremble with pain, trying to protect his body from the imaginary villains that were assaulting him, she felt her heart ache. He seemed so full of himself, so completely proud, arrogant and brave, that Ellie never realized that behind that façade laid a man with… fears, as any other.

She touched, slightly his shoulder, trying to comfort him back to calmer dreams, when he opened his eyes, suddenly.

“I… Erm…” She babbled, staring at the blue eyes. “You were having a nightmare.”

“Go back to sleep.” He barked back, moving away from her hand.

“But… I…”

“Now.” And he got up, walking towards the darkness of the woods, darkness that she would not dare to go, with the fear of finding yellow eyes staring at her still.

________________

He had dreamt with it. Again. Adam was getting used to those terrible dreams, where he would be kicked in the guts time and time again by an unknown man, mostly resembling the day he decided that he had to truly learn how to fight to survive the nights out on the pubs and shallow places he would often find himself after Ben returned from the Colonies.

He hated those dreams, that made him wake up drenched in sweat, cursing the day he found himself with lands that were not his, a title that was not his either, a broken hearted mother and a hollow father.

However, that night was different.

Usually he would receive kicks and punches until his image, in the dream, could not open his eyes anymore. For every aspect, he was dead. And that was why he would wake up, startled and confused, realizing that he was, in fact, surrounded by pillows filled with goose feathers and 300 thread count sheets.

Now… He was woken by a gentle touch in his shoulder, like a caring hand that took him away from the fighter, and cared for him in his lap, while he died. A hand that comforted him.

And when Adam opened his eyes. He saw her, watching him with furrowed brows and pierced lips.

He felt naked, in front of her, that beautiful girl with emerald green eyes, that saw her knight (as she would call him when she was in a good mood), squirm with anguish due to a silly dream.

He was rude to her, Adam admitted. He could not even look in her stunned face, as he got up and walked among the trees, forgetting his coat on the ground and feeling the cold night air enter under his clothes.

He was unable to sleep and roamed around the trees until the sun started to show above the trees, breaking the camp and waiting for Eleanor to wake up. She was curled under the tartan, only the tip of her nose showing, pink as the sun in the horizon.

He could see her stirring, starting to wake from whatever dream she would be having, her lashes fluttering like the wings of a bird. She glanced at him, waiting by the horse, and asked, with a deep voice:

“Are we leaving?”

He didn’t answer, still ashamed for what she had seen the other night. Adam was only able to nod, while she got up, wobbly, and walked towards him.

Now, she was munching a piece of apple pie, quiet in front of him, while they travelled down the road. No one dared to say a thing and he was not going to be the person to break the silence. He was enjoying the soft bumping of her behind in his trousers, the way her chest moved while they rode, her small bites and the happy sigh she would let go when she tasted the cinnamon or the sugar in the pie.

There were some frosty patches on the road. The winter was coming, and Adam was scared of it. He only had a winter coat, with no gloves and no scarf. He had left Ellesmere Park with only a new pair of socks and a clean shirt, that he already wore of.

And then, there was Eleanor. Her dress was tore down and, despite the fact she had said to him, clearly, that she had no intentions of changing it, he wished the next stop they made, he could find a new dress for her. It would not be as rich as the one she was using, made of a smooth brocade, but would be warm.

And clean.

However, the silence made it impossible to Adam to even ask to Ellie if she wanted to stop in a town, to eat a broth of some kind or just to rest a bit. She would only, eventually, ask for water or a piece of bread, that he would give to her gladly.

It was far after lunch that she asked for a private break and she was so quick, for a woman, that he could not even rest properly. He was tired from his sleepless night and wanted to close his eyes… just for a little while.

No. He hadn’t time for that.

So, quickly they were back in the horse, marching down the road towards the castle. The animal was as sturdy as expected and did not show signs of being tired until it was late in the evening.

They have stopped only for some hours, during the evening, for the horse munch some grass and for him to fill his flask with new water. Eleanor stood by a tree, protected by the tartan she held like a cape behind her back, protecting her arms and her chest.

“You will not address it?” She asked, startling Adam. His hands shook and he spilt almost all the new water, making him pour it back to the stream and try again.

He didn’t answer her.

“You are not speaking to me either?”

He sighed, getting up and corking the flask.

“I thought it was you who was not speaking to me.” He teased, placing the flask in his bag.

She paused, blinking at him like she was trying to get back her composure.

“Well, in fact, I was not.” She paused, unaware of how to go on with the conversation. “However, I thought you would like to talk about what happened yesterday…”

“I do not want to.”

“Really, Adam?” She asked, correcting herself soon after. “I mean, Sir Adam. I think that you should be addressing what happened to you.”

“And why do you think that?” He asked, turning back to her, who was playing with her tartan-made-cape, unconsciously.

“I…” She paused. “I think you were injured. Gravely. And not physically. I’ve seen soldiers…”

“Eleanor…” He said, tired.

“Lady Eleanor.”

“Eleanor.” He insisted. “Don’t try to over think what you’ve seen. It was just a bad dream. Had you ever had a bad dream?”

She paused, unsure how to answer.

“Well, of course I did… But…”

“That’s it. Just a dream.” He said, waiting for her to come to him. “Now, let’s go.”

______________________

He had called her Eleanor, she thought, watching Adam take the saddle from the horse. Why that shook her so much?

They have travelled for hours after their weird conversation near the stream. He had not said a word, until they passed a sign on the road and Adam told her that only two more days.

She glanced around the old barn that Adam, well, Sir Adam, found near the road. It was mainly, rocks, a roof that was almost falling, with so many holes she could see the stars. Still, it had hay for the horse and for them to lay over, walls to protect them from the cold and something like a roof to protect from the eminent snow that was going to fall, any minute now.

“I don’t think it will snow today.” Said Adam. Since they arrived in the barn, he had been trying to talk to her like nothing had happened.

“Oh, it will sure snow today.” She answered, entering his game. If he didn’t want to talk about what happened, she would not force him. He was only her knight for the journey, nothing more, nothing less. In two days, they will be parting their ways for life. “Look at those clouds, forming, near the horizon. Heavy snow.”

“Oh God…” He complained, walking towards the barn, to start making the fire.

“Are you afraid of snow, Sir Adam?” She teased, raising one eyebrow.

“Of course not.” He answered, shaking his head. “But it will be fucking cold.”

She took some hay from the small bunches she had made for their beds and gave to him, to feed the fire that was being formed.

“I always thought that, when it was not snowing, it was colder.” She whispered, raising her hands to the fire, feasting with the warmth. That made her tartan fall from her shoulders to the ground, where Adam soon recovered and placed it back.

“I should have found some new clothes for you…” He whispered, his eye fixed in the slit next to her hips. “I will deliver a frozen stick to the clan.”

She laughed, truly laughed.

“Don’t be silly.” Ellie said, adjusting her skirt to close the slit. “I will be fine. I’m stronger than you think.”

“So, you keep telling me…” He joked, taking his coat and laying on the bundle of hay.

“I tell you so because it is the truth.” She insisted, watching him walk towards the doors, and close to keep the cold from coming in. Suddenly, everything around her turned red.

“I would have to see that for myself.” Adam said, going back to his place near her and pulling some things from the purse.

“Are you asking me to defy you in a duel?” Ellie exclaimed, her eyes getting wider with delight.

“God Heavens, no!” He shouted, laughing. “I don’t even know if this is allowed.”

“Well, it doesn’t say you can’t duel with girls. So, time and place.”

“I’m not fighting you, Eleanor.” He laughed, taking a dagger from his boot and cutting the onions and mushrooms he had found nearby.

Then again, there it was. He called her Eleanor again, which made her insides curl with… happiness? What was it?

She was truly losing her head.

“You can’t say that.” She whispered, watching the red and orange light hit his beautiful, angel like features.

“I think I can.” He joked, smiling at her, in a breath-taking way. “I’ve seen what you can do to a drunk man. I would prefer to measure your capacity of taking a man down far away, thank you very much.”

“I was not talking about that.”

He raised his head from the vegetables that were being cut, confused.

“You can’t call me by my birth name, sir.” She explained, feeling her cheeks get rosier and she talked. “It is not proper.”

He smiled at her, those bright, white teeth glistening at her, as he poured the vegetables in a tiny pot filled with water.

“Well… Nothing about you is proper, is it, Eleanor?” He said, flashing her his teeth, while placing the pot near the fire.

Suddenly, she was fully aware of the scene forming before her. The closed wooden doors, the roaring fire near her feet, the bundles of hay, close together, almost forming a bed.

“And if it could easy your mind, I would call you Eleanor and you will call me Adam. No Sir in front of it. Just Adam.”

“I can’t call you that.” She answered. “It is not proper.”

Her heart was thumping so loudly in her ears that she truly thought Adam, no, Sir Adam, had listened to it. It was shacking on her torso, as he got closer to her, his hands stretched in front of him, going towards her thighs.

Ellie truly thought she would faint any minute now.

“This slit in your hips that is not proper.” He played with the fabric between his fingers. “I think you will survive calling me Adam.”

“Your… your discourteous, indecorous… bastard!” She answered, so low, that she could be sharing a secret. Ellie didn’t know why she said that, as her heart wanted her to pull his hand back to the fabric, to her body, to her naked thighs and her naked core.

The laugh that came from him woke her up from her vivid dreams, making her blink fast with shame.

“I thought you would say that.” He teased, that awful smile sliding through his lips to from the corner of his mouth. “Do you mind if I put some chives in the broth?”

She shook her head slightly, watching him cook with a sparkle on his eyes. She couldn’t speak, think or move. She could only feel the weird urge of having his body on top of hers.


	8. A lady in private

_November, 1780_

She was glistening.

That was what Adam thought, watching her hum in front of him, her feet jingling with happiness, while they were in their last day of travelling. She had woken up to a frosty field, snow covering the road, the trees and the plants but didn’t care. She was happy when she ate their breakfast, while Adam shivered and complained under his breath. She was happy when they went outside and the chilling air hit their warm faces. She was happy when he involved her with the tartan and pulled her closer to his body, trying to maintain her warmth, despite of the tear in her dress.

She was even humming.

“You’re happy today.” He commented and she turned her head around, watching him.

“You’re very observant, Sir Adam.”

“Well, it is not difficult to notice a girl that is humming like a bride after her wedding night.” He mocked, waiting to see the faint blush that would appear in her cheeks and her complaints about him being so rude.

“Sir Adam, you’re just… terrible.” She teased, not frowning or throwing a tantrum. She would just smile at his childish attempts to annoy her and make her blush with shyness, accustomed to his brute manners. Manners which, in his defense, were not taught by his mother, God bless her. “But, yes. I’m happy and I don’t care. I’m coming home.”

“To Glengarry.” He said and she nodded. “Do you like the place?”

A smile showed upon her lips.

“Are you by, any chance, interested in my life, Sir?”

“I’m just curious.” Adam answered, feeling her relax against his chest. “After all, I’m taking you to your family, despite the delay in my schedule and the fact that you almost killed me. It’s just fair.”

Eleanor giggled and sighed.

“I do, indeed, like Glengarry. It has been my home for all my life. And my father’s life. It has been in the family for nearly two hundred years, which is a lot, if compared to other castles.” She answered. “It is surrounded by glens, so green that they are almost emerald. However, we do have some woods, in the back, free and wild and…”

Her voice got lost in memories and Adam felt a weird tingling in his chest, a warmth, listening to that girl remember her home, that he did not expected.

“And your brothers? You said that they were the one’s that prepared your escape.”

He felt her head leaning on his shoulder and he was out of breath.

“I have three brothers. Half-brothers, from my father’s side. My mother died when I was a baby and father soon got married to Lady Adaira. They had, in a quick succession, Dougal, the elder, Malcom and Callum, who is turning fourteen. Malcom is so serious that sometimes we feel like he is older than me. And Dougal… we are only one year apart in age, so… we are best friends. But Callum…”

“He is your favorite.”

“It will be a bad thing if I say he is?” She asked, her head turning to the side in his chest, the hair so soft against his neck.

“Not at all. I also have a favorite sibling.” He answered and, for a moment, a shadow passed through his heart. “How is Callum?”

“Oh, he is…adorable. He truly thinks is his duty to protect me. And he is a wizard in making.”

“A wizard?” Adam asked, turning to see her face, glowing with happiness. “I thought all of them were hunt and hanged in the Great Witch Trial.”

“Don’t be silly. These things only happen in the Continent. We are very respectful of our heritage, although Father would prefer for Callum turn into a priest. They are far more respected…”

A priest? No Witch Trials? Were they papists?

It was the first time he met a papist. Adam had learned about how the King had broken with the lying catholic church and founded his own. The religion had its ups and downs, but for the last one hundred years, it was the true practiced religion for England, Scotland and Wales.

Since the Jacobite rise, the King had made it illegal to be a catholic or to display any connections with the Highlander lifestyle. With the years passing, they started to allow some things, such as the tartans. But almost all turned to anglicism.

As she continued to babble about her life, Adam couldn’t help but thought about how sheltered Eleanor was in Glengarry. She could fight like a frisky cat, but… she barely knew the history of her own country, living in a fairytale about knights and quests. She should not have been married, at all…

He needed to talk to her father about it. She was not ready, not now. Maybe wait a few years. Dottie married young, but Peggy was nearly 21 when she met William. A nice age. Eleanor could travel and understand her world. Read, study and then…

And then, maybe, he would be ready for her as well.

___________________

They have stopped near a stream. It was still light, the sun kissing the earth with its warm rays, watching the snow melt, faintly, under its power. The cold wind was still blowing over them in the road, making Adam hold her tightly under his body, warming her with his own body heat.

He tried to convince her of changing the rags she called clothes, but Ellie was certain that she would be recognized by her garb. She could almost see, the guards waving at her, from the distance, the gates opening, her brothers waiting for her in the courtyard.

Oh, how she was waiting for that.

What would be of her after that, it was a mystery that Eleanor avoided thinking. Her father would not be happy and her step-mother would be furious, but Callum had assured her that all would be well. That was enough for her to close her eyes and let the dress slip over her skin towards the ground.

Although she had refused Sir Adam’s offer of a new wardrobe, she knew she must have been looking terrible. She hadn’t taken a shower in days and she slept and traveled with the same clothes. She thought she was smelling bad and, by the time she walked towards the stream, far away from Adam’s gaze, she discovered that she was right.

Slowly, afraid of the cold, she took of her dress, underdress and camisole, untying her leather boots and her stockings, feeling her body tingle with the cold air in her naked skin. She walked, gingerly, towards the stream, feeling like a thousand daggers were on her feet, as she touched the water with fear.

Eleanor took away the feet, cursing under her breath. She could stink for one more day, before having a nice, warm bath in Glengarry, with oil of roses and essence of tulips. She would wash her long hair, brush it and dry it in front of the fireplace.

It would be heavenly.

However, as her mind dreamed of warm baths and fragrances, she almost could imagine a dark shadow walking towards her, as she sat naked in front of the fire. Eleanor could see the sharp blue eyes, blue like a frozen lake and the soft blond hair, falling in his shoulders.

Ellie gasped, opening her eyes in terror, realizing she had imagined Adam, her Sir Adam, seeing her naked as the day she was born. Dear God, she had lost her mind…

She stared at the bubbling stream one last time.

Well, she had to do that.

So, Eleanor took a deep breath and jumped on the water, screaming loudly as the freezing water touched all her warm and soft parts. Her heavy hair was covered with water and it would take ages to dry properly, but, as numb as she was, arms holding her shivering body, Ellie could feel the dirt leaving her pale skin, floating in the clean stream.

She scrubbed the best as she could, taking away the dirt and the mud, feeling the cold transform into freshness. She dipped her head in the water, scrubbing the scalp gently, to avoid any knots. It would not be very good, by the time it was dry, but it was the best she could have done, considering her situation.

Probably, if she had asked to Sir Adam to found a tavern for them, just for her to take a warm bath and have a proper sleep before meeting her family, he would have agreed. However, as Eleanor sat in the stream, watching the clean water roll around the mossy stones, she realized that she didn’t want that.

She liked the time she spent around the fire, deep into the night, with her knight. They would talk in low voices, as he would prepare their supper. It was always something bland, with a mixture of vegetables and mushrooms in water. He had said to her that he learned to cook when he was fighting in the colonies, as, most of the time, he would have to roam to places alone, looking for the enemy and their troops.

The word colony stuck with her. She didn’t know what it meant and she was afraid to ask. Her knowledge was very patchy in the main areas, even for a girl, and she preferred to listen to his stories quiet, trying to understand where he was and who he was fighting.

Maybe… She would ask him. He could be rude and unnerving but… he was nice to her. Always had a smile on his lips, that paired with that weird light that shone in his eyes.

He would probably mock her due to her lack of education, as usual. And, then, he would answer her question, as best as he could, changing the subject when he got tired, probably starting to debate the supper.

Ellie got up, shivering from up and down, walking towards her clothes and the tartan she planned to use as a towel. By the time she was near them, a ray of sun, soft and meek like it was expected so late in the year, showed over the long tree branches, laying the little warmth it had over her skin.

The girl rejoiced, lifting her head to the sky. She glowed in gold as long as the clouds allowed and, once they thought it was enough for the water nymph that was bathing in the streams, the sun was gone.

She had to change unwillingly, shivering from the lack of warmth and still a bit wet, as the wool of the tartan didn’t absorb well the moisture in her skin, specially in her hair. Ellie was finishing tying the laces of her dress, when she heard:

“ELEANOR?”

She turned around and watched Adam…Sir Adam… marching towards her, with his brows frowned upon.

“ELEANOR!” He exclaimed, reaching her and looking for the wet and sad version of her. “Have you lost your mind?”

She was shivering, searching for warmth, holding the wool tartan in her numb hands, while the water in her heavy hair dripped in front of her dress, dampening the fabric and the tip of her toes, only in its stockings.

“I…” She paused, looking for the right words. “I was dirty. I took a bath.”

He stared at her for a second that lasted the eternity, until he rolled his eyes and sighed, with a smirk on his lips.

“Dear God, come closer and give me this tartan.” He said, pulling her to him and taking the fabric from her numb hands. “Once more the Murray’s come to the rescue.”

And to her complete shock, he turned her around and started drying her hair with the soft fabric, taping the curls and the waves with care.

_______________

He had seen her. In all her naked and wet glory, leaving the stream like Aphrodite coming from the waves of the Greek sea. The water was dripping from her body and she was shivering from the cold, goosebumps sprinkled all over her skin, her nipples hard and so, so red.

Adam felt ashamed of what he did.

He truly did.

But, oh God, how she was lovely.

He had heard her soft scream from behind the woods, when he was starting the fire and left everything, scared of what could make a girl like her scream like she had seen a ghost. His heart was on his sleeve when he got closer from where the sound came, where she was bathing peacefully, although he could see her lips purple with cold.

So, he waited in the shadows, watching her long fingers scrubbing her soft skin, the breasts laying softly over the surface of the water, the hair floating around her in that marvelous, copperish hue.

She was indeed a goddess.

And then, she left the stream, walking with long steps towards her clothes and, for a split of second, Adam thought that she would finally dress up and he would be able to feel ashamed of himself. As it, for now, mesmerized by her beauty, he could only think of her and her only.

But the sun, the glorious star over his head, that feared the winter and loved the summer, shone over her gracious body and Adam prayed thanks and she lifted her chin up, her entire body glowing golden as the twilight.

Images of him walking towards her, the surprise in her eyes as he pulled her head towards him for a kiss, the way her body moved against him, asking, claiming, demanding what they both want…

And then, she was dressed once more, the hair dripping in front of her filthy dress, her entire body shivering so much that he thought she would faint. Eleanor was struggling with the laces on the back of her dress, probably due to the numbness of her extremities, so common when someone was feeling really cold.

He had seen enough soldiers losing their thumbs during war.

Maybe that memory, the stump of fingers in a soldier’s hands, was what propelled him to call her name. Adam still wasn’t sure about it. But he was calling her name and walking towards her with intent, marching from the place where he was hiding.

She looked at him surprise and, if possible, she would have blushed heavily. Her stockings were showing from the hem of her dress, her shirt was still unlaced and her hair was wetting all the front of her garb.

As he stared the dripping hair, he had only one urge: to take that mass of curls and waves in his hands and dry it for her.

Was it weird?

Yes, a bit.

But, God, she looked so helpless, in her wet dress and her dirt stockings… And soon enough he was drying it, as he took the tartan from her numb and violet hands, pulling her close to his own body.

What was he doing?

Once, Adam would never guess he would, willingly, dry the hair of a lady. Ever. And now there he was, so close to her that he could feel the shivers in her body and the way her nose had turned so adorably red.

Eleanor was looking at him with the corner of her eye, her head slightly turned towards him, questioning, probably, his sanity. He was questioning it himself.

“You don’t need to do that.”

He didn’t answer. What could he say? Yes, I don’t need to do that but I want to?

He could never say that.

“Really, Sir…” She said, turning around and touching his hand. Strands of her hair, red and pink like the sunset, were in his palm, which made him gently stroke them, without thinking.

She was so, so close.

Her eyes went to his hands, where he was caressing her hair and back to his eyes. Her irises where so green, green like the moss around him, the vales of Scotland, the emerald from the earth.

It was so easy, to pull her closer to him, lowering his head and capturing her lips in his. It seemed so natural and so right, the way she took a step forward when he gently pulled her to him, how she licked her lips when he lowered his head and how she sighed, deeply, against his mouth, when he captured her lips.

Eleanor lips were soft and full, tender to his teeth and his tongue. She wasn’t shivering anymore. She was pressed in his body, her hands sprawled in his chest, her fingers holding tightly to his shirt, in search of a support.

He would never know how long the kiss lasted. It could have been hours, days, centuries. Adam would have not been surprised if he raised his head and saw archeologists in shock to see the two lovers who remained kissing for millennia finally parted their lips.

It could have been just seconds. A heartbeat, a lighting in the sky, a storm in the night.

He would not know, as his mind was twirling, shouting, dancing and screaming with excitement, thrilled to touch, to kiss, to have such a woman in his arms, so soft, beautiful and… amazing.

The only thing he knew was that Eleanor parted their kiss, walking fast towards another tree, far away from where they were. Her hand was clasped shut over her mouth, eyes closed.

“What…?” She whispered, opening her eyes filled with desire and taking away the hand over her lips full with his kisses. “No!”

“Hey… Hey…” Adam whispered, calmly.

“I… I can’t do that. We shouldn’t… You shouldn’t… I…” She stammered, closing her eyes. “I’ve got to go.”

“Wait, Eleanor.” He said, walking towards her, who was already marching along the woods, without shoes and with her shirt still unlaced. “You can’t just leave.”

“I can’t stay with you. You… We…” She turned around, confused. “I can’t stay.”

“Where are you going?” He begged, truly begged, behind her. “It is dark and cold and you… you’re distressed.”

“You don’t understand.” She insisted, still walking. “This couldn’t have happened. This was a mistake.”

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

“Eleanor, please.” There he was again, begging. “This was surely a mistake and it will never happen again. I promise. I don’t know what happened to me, but I promise you…”

But she interrupted him.

“What about me, Adam?” He could see the worry in her eyes. “I kissed you too. I wanted that. I wanted you. And each day that we spend together…”

She felt it too. Adam stood, shocked, unable to move a muscle, just thinking: she felt it too… she felt it too… she felt it too.

“I just can’t stay. Please, Adam. Just… Let me go.”

And she continued walking, as Adam realized that, although she wanted him as much as he wanted her… she was leaving. And he, like the dumb fuck he was, was letting her go.

Why?

Because he was a fool.


	9. A lady in doubt

It was long dark when he walked back to the camp. The branches that he had gathered to build a fire where in the same place that he had left them, but Adam didn’t bother to go there.

He just sat by a tree and closed his eyes.

He didn’t sleep, not when his mind was twirling around him, pulling him back from the chaos that was the previous day, calling him to get back his pieces and do something.

He wanted to take the horse and call her name.

He wanted to stop her with kisses and beg on his knees for her to stay.

No.

No.

Adam passed his hand over his face, annoyed by his thoughts.

He couldn’t do that. Why he was so obsessed with this girl? She was annoying, rude and aggressive. Sure, she was pretty, but was she worth the trouble?

Oh, he knew she was.

_Stop that!_

She left. She was gone. She freaked out due to his kiss and didn’t want to stay near him. That was obvious.

_She doesn’t want me._

But why…

Why she had kissed him back?

Why she had leaned over his body? Why she had sighed over his lips, why she had melted under his digits?

“GOD! FUCK! DAMN!” He screamed, getting up and walking around the camp.

He could see the faint shinning of moonlight above his head and the condensed air coming from his breath. It would snow again, soon enough, and he would be found freezing to death by one of those Scottish farmers that he couldn’t understand one word they were saying.

He should leave this place soon.

After all, Eleanor was gone. She was very clear when she announced that she couldn’t stand being near him and needed that he kept himself far away from her.

Which was fair.

He was losing his mind with her so near, all the time. Probably it was an overreaction of his body, that hadn’t taken a woman in so many months, that wanted to be near her.

It was his cock talking.

Not his heart.

Adam almost could see it. After he finished what he was aching to do with her, he would look to her steaming body, with a satisfied smile on her face and feel… nothing. He would get up, dress up and take her back to her castle, no longer a maid and crying because, after all, he didn’t want her.

He just wanted to fuck her.

 _Yes. I just wanted to fuck her_.

He couldn’t actually love or care so much for a girl that he only met some days past. A girl that assaulted him. And, by the way, he just decided to escort her back home because he could HEAR his uncle John and his father saying, in low voices:

“ _You just can’t leave the poor girl alone, son. It is your duty, as a gentleman, to take her back home, safely.”_

Damn those two. Have they not understood that Adam was no longer a gentleman? He had no lands, no worth, nothing to be a gentleman for. He was fighting on the suburbs of London, passing out with the cheapest ale he could find and fucking the pub owner’s daughter.

He just couldn’t bring that girl back home. Which home? He owned nothing. They would sleep in his parents house while his father would get in contact with his friends in the Parliament and find a job for him.

There was nothing more humiliating than having your father finding you employment when you are 25 years old.

No. Thanks God he just wanted to take Eleanor to bed. It would be easier to forget her.

It would be easier to leave her.

So, with that thought in mind, Adam decided to lay down and, finally, sleep. He would have a busy day, going south to Ellesmere Park, back to his friends and, God help him, his family.

However, as he covered his shivering body with the tartan that Eleanor left, he smelled her. Her fresh and sweet smell, like moss in a rainy day, stuck in the wool and now in his heart.

________________

It was so cold.

Eleanor was breathing over her hands, while walking in that early morning. After leaving Adam. After their kiss.

After that wonderful, breath taking kiss.

Oh, God, why she had left?

She asked herself repeatedly, as she walked away, her feet sinking on the soft earth, still moist from the snow that had fallen the other day. It was not long when her stockings were too wet and her toes were too cold for her to keep going.

She had to find shelter.

There was nothing in miles. Just old and mossy trees, laying to their sides, trying to whisper secrets to one another. That was an old tale, told by nannies and milk maids, a tale that still made her look with respect to the creatures that stand tall over the valleys and the hills.

After much walking, she found a tiny house, made by uneven rocks, with smoke coming from one rocky chimney in its side. She almost ran to it, sitting with her back pressed against the rock, feeling the warmth, unbearable warmth against her skin. It was not properly a shelter, but she wouldn’t die of cold that way.

However, as she sat there, watching the stars above her head, Eleanor had time to think.

To think of Adam and what had happened.

The kiss.

Oh, God. She wanted that kiss so much. When he looked at her, with those light blue eyes at her, she could see everything she ever dreamed of. He wanted her, almost as badly as she wanted him, and when he pushed her to his arms and leaned his head towards hers, she knew that she wouldn’t fly away.

It was warm and soft and gentle. She wanted to stay in his arms forever and ever and be a fool for him.

But in the back of her mind… she could hear.

She could hear her brothers, waiting for her in the castle. Her father, saying that her importance was to make great alliances. Her step-mother, with that acid smile in her sunken face, saying that she shouldn’t dream too big, as she was only a pawn in other’s games.

That was what made her push back and stare at him with horror. He had kissed her, truly kissed her, while touching her body in a way that almost convinced her to stay with him.

To never leave.

To simply forget about her brothers, and her clan, and her father and everyone that counted on her behind.

To be with a stranger, a complete stranger.

Adam had begged. He had begged for her not to leave, to stay with him. He would not kiss her again, he said. He would never dream of doing that ever again.

But Ellie wanted him to do that. She wanted him to do that so much it hurt.

So, she left.

She left to find her brothers again. To make her clan proud. Callum had said that Gordon wouldn’t be a problem anymore and she hoped it was true. With that horrible man away from her life (and maybe away from his own life), the Wallace’s couldn’t threaten the MacDonnell’s anymore.

Her father, being not afraid of what could happen to the clan if the Wallace force come towards them, would try to make a better arrangement for her. It would still be a political arrangement, but it would be one with true benefits for the clan and her family.

Maybe in the Highlands.

Her father had been talking about the highlanders for as long as she could remember and it would be a good match. Dougal was good friends with the Mackenzie’s boys and if the MacDonnell’s had the support of one of the greatest clans in the north… everything would be possible.

The clan MacDonnell would be one of the greatest clans in Scotland and Dougal would have a true legacy in his hands by the time his father passed away. Malcom would be his right-hand man and Callum could be whatever he wanted to be. Wizard, priest, it didn’t matter.

He would be under the influence and the protection of half the Scottish clans.

Now, if she had stayed with Adam…

Oh. It would be wonderful, indeed.

But she would have to leave.

Adam would not ever be accepted by her father or her clan, not after so many years fighting the English. Callum would always welcome anyone with open arms, as it was his nature, but Dougal and Malcom would not trust him, truly, at first.

She wouldn’t dare to leave her brothers. Not now. Not after they saved her life, in so many ways.

She needed to be with them, for a while, even if it is not much while her father arranged her next marriage. Maybe she could take Callum to the Highlands, as the page boy of a minor lord. Maybe Malcom would come along, for his training. Maybe Dougal would visit his friends for some time, while her sister learned to be a highlander lady.

With Adam, she would not see her brothers anymore, not while living in England, not while married with the enemy, not while…

She shook her head, trying to not think of it anymore.

Eleanor had made her choice. She would stay with her family and that was that.

She was entering a village now, in her tore dress and her sad eyes. She had clean skin, but her hair was a mess and her garb was so dirty it was no longer white, just… brown. It was still visible that was a fancy and rich fabric, but… Maybe she should have accepted Adam’s offer and changed her dress. A new, fresh and warm dress.

“I beg your pardon, sir.” She said and the man, who was selling bread on the street looked at her with an angry look on his face. “I’m going to Glengarry…”

“Go away girl, we don’t want your kind here.”

She took a step back, confused by the hate in his speech and went to another man, giving water to the horses, some steps away. He ignored her, not daring to even look her in the eye, as she asked, kindly, if she was too far of Glengarry. And so, Eleanor kept going, kept trying to ask for information, to every man around, while being shooed away, like a boring fly.

It was only when she passed by a house of ill repute, by the sounds coming out of the doors, that a woman, with red lips and cheeks, called her.

“Hullo, sweethert.” Eleanor turned to her. “I saw ye goin’ up and doon the street, talkin’ to the lads. We cannae do that ‘ere. We hae to be filiated to a hoose, dear.”

“Oh. I…” She felt so conscious of her tore dress. “I’m asking for directions, actually.”

“Whaur to, angel?” The woman asked, coming closer. “I mich help ye. I ken the area weel.”

“To Glengarry, miss.” Eleanor answered. “I was following the road, but don’t know if I’m closer or not.”

“Och, ye almost thare. If ye keep goin’, followin’ this trail right thare, ye wull be thare by the end o’ the day.” She scratched her chin. “A dinnae unnerstaun how come ye are goin’ thare, though.”

Eleanor froze, staring at the woman.

“Why not?”

“Weel, darlin’, the castle is in shambles. Thare’s only a doiter thare and that’s it.”

But before the woman could finish speaking, Eleanor was already running down the trail.

___________________

He took the road to the south. It was an easy thing to do: he woke up and prepared his breakfast, consisting of stale bread and the last remains of ale. He probably would sleep on an inn the next day. He had been avoiding taverns and such due to Eleanor and her fragile state. He couldn’t protect her there and the mere thought of her, alone at night, in a place filled with man, was enough to make him stay on the road.

Now, he didn’t had Eleanor with him.

And it was too cold for him to keep sleeping outdoors.

He finished his breakfast, getting up and walking to his horse, well fed and restless to keep going. Maybe, he should name the horse. It was with him for so long and never let him stray. A nice name, perhaps, would do for him.

While he thought about names to give to the black-haired beast, he went back to the road. He looked to the west, to where Eleanor left to, in search for her family and her castle.

He had to go there, before taking the road back South.

But he was dreading to do that.

If he followed her footsteps, if he followed her… Would he be able to turn back to Ellesmere Park? To the life he didn’t want to go back to? Would he not march through the gates of Glengarry and demand for Eleanor, right there and then?

They were so close to her family home. He had decided to rest the day before just because it was so damn cold. If they travelled, just three or four hours more, in the back of the horse, they would be in Glengarry.

At least, Glengarry the village. The castle was only a few miles after it, as someone had told him. Not very far, not at all.

He stood there, for a long time, over his horse, watching the slow movement of people and cattle going by, watching him like he was insane, staying still in the middle of a road, while the grey clouds above their heads started to gather, showing that snow was to come.

He had to go. He would pass by the village and turn towards south, following the road and going back to Ellesmere Park and his family. He needed to go back. William and Peggy were waiting for him. His mother would have arrived, by now, with Ben and his family. His uncle John, his father and the Frasers would be there as well.

And Eleanor… She was with her family now. He watched the faint pinkish hues of the sun setting behind the trees and he knew. She would be in Glengarry, already, hugging her brothers in joy. Adam hoped that they would not try to marry her to another old fool.

She needed a young man. To love her like she needed to be loved. Like she craved to be loved. Someone that would fight her battles, that would protect her, even though she would say that she didn’t need to be protected.

He would like to see her being pampered, her smooth skin over linen sheets, her hair, that strawberry blonde that screamed the woods and the magic of Scotland, over feathered pillows.

That’s it. No need to worry.

She was happy. She was fine. Away from him. Away from them.

Adam kicked the horse, slightly, and they started the movement, towards Glengarry and the road that would take him back to his life. The life he dreaded.

 _Oh, shut up_ , he reprimanded himself, focusing on the plants along the way, the way the wind was blowing cold over his brows, the singing of the birds and everything that could take his mind away of Eleanor.

The problem was: everything reminded him of her.

Adam was glad when he saw the faint lights of the village in front of him. The sun had set in the sky and he couldn’t see any stars or the moon. Clouds, only grey clouds, over him, making the night even darker and colder. They would have a white Christmas that year.

He glanced to the bifurcation on the road, one leading south, where it would meet with the Great North Road, and the other, taking him towards the village and the castle, beyond the hills.

He needed to go, but was too tired and hungry. So, he turned to the other side, going towards the lights of the village, searching for the tavern and aching for a bit of beer. He could hear the loud voices coming from the small space, some words he couldn’t understand, due to the strong Scottish accent. He simply took his horse to the stable and walked towards the warm room, shining bright with lights and laughter.

He promptly found a place for him to sit and asked for the supper and a pint. The waitress reappeared with broth, sausages and bread, still warm and soft from the oven. The smell was delicious and, when he put the sausage in his mouth, he couldn’t help but to moan. The food he cooked was, indeed, tasteless. As he munched his way through the dishes, his ear caught a conversation near him.

“Ye cuid imagine that the auld marquis would have stop makin’ bairns… It has been, what, seven years sin the lest laddie appeared in the great Hoose.”

“Another one, hum?”

“A lassie, noo. She cam runnin’ doon the hill and kept gawkin’ at the ruins lik’ she had seen a ghost. A’m told her that the castle has been empty fur decades noo but she wouldnae stop askin’ things and touchin’ the walls o’ the castle.”

This made Adam stop eating. If he listened to it right…

“Poor lassie. And noo?”

“A’m sent her to Glengarry House. Maybe the marquis wull help her… He’s a guid lad, better than the auld laird…” The old man stopped, shaking his head. “Poor miss Eleanor MacDonnell… Another bastard left in this world.”

The men only saw a figure running from his table, leaving coins for the waitress and jumping on his horse to run through the night. What they found was odd was that the man ran towards the old ruins of the old castle, which no one has lived in since the Stuarts.


	10. A lady in pain

_November, 1780_

She ran like she never had run before. She stretched her legs and filled her lungs with that cold and fresh air coming from the hills of Glengarry.

_She must be wrong_ , Ellie kept thinking trying to calm herself after those dreadful words…

_ The castle is in shambles…  _

She was trained for that, Ellie realized. All her life, when she incited the rage of her father lifting heavy swords, fighting with the soldiers, training with her brothers, riding through the glens… She was trained for that sprint, the miles between Glengarry and the tiny village.

A village that had grown significantly since she left her home.

_You have no time to think about that_ , she reprimanded herself.

No, she had to focus on her home. On her brothers. In her life.

There it was, deep on the valley, surrounded by the soft, emerald green hills, with the forest around it. For a split of second her heart rejoiced: there it was, with the grey, heavy stones, the towers reaching for the sky, the tiny windows for the guards around the wall protecting the home of the chief of clan MacDonnell.

And then, she noticed: the tumbling stones, the holes on the walls, the lack of roof in several different spots, the green weeds growing beneath the cracks and the creases of the castle. The lack of the flags, announcing that there was the house of Clan MacDonnell.

She stumbled, in shock, collapsing on the wet grass. Her heart had lost its pace and she had to breathe quickly, short spasms of her torso, while her mind panicked. She didn’t dare to raise her gaze, to look again to her home and see its decay.

_ How…? _

The question lingered around her, as the chilly wind entered her clothing, taking her skin and freezing her bones. Maybe this could freeze her heart, her mind, and help her to get up, to go to the ruins.

_ Ruins. _

Eleanor blinked, repeating the word several times in her head. It didn’t make any sense. The castle couldn’t be in shambles, it could be a trick of her mind. It was impossible, to be on that state after only… some weeks.

She had been away for just some weeks.

This prompted her to raise her glance, helping her arms to keep her straight, to lift her up and make her legs walk towards the stronghold, sliding through the tall, emerald green grass, the sun setting behind the castle, as the grey clouds started to form and gather beyond, preparing to fall down the weary head.

She could only hear the birds, chipping away, from within the walls, like they belonged there. The gates were broken, the wood rotten to its core. Eleanor passed through the hole of what was, once, a heavy and strong door. 

The courtyard was basically the same, despite the grass growing where once was dirty and sand for the horses. The door, so gigantic for a girl so tiny as her, was blocked by heavy wooden pieces, mossy and green. It was silent, oh so silent, that she shivered and held tightly to her own body, her eyes coming and going from and to each overturned stone.

“Hey! Lassie!” A voice came from the other side. “White ye are doin’ ‘ere?”

She looked to the man, dirty and tired, with long white hair coming towards her. Perhaps, this was the doiter the girl was talking about.

“Is this… Glengarry?” She managed to ask, feeling silly. Of course, it was. It was her home, she knew it.

“Aye.” He watched her walking towards the stones, her digits feeling the texture, the moss, the humidity that lingered there. “Why?”

“What happened?” She asked, unable to think of another thing, the questions jumping and twirling in her mind. 

“Och. It’s bin like that sin the Stuarts reigned. Too moist, it is. The auld marquis decided to build a new hoose, just after the hill over thare.” The man pointed to a hill behind the walls of the castle, where once stood a vast forest. 

_ What had happened? _

Stuarts… It didn’t make any sense. James Stuart was the king when she left. They have been the clan in command for… years. Centuries. She realized that she had said that out loud when the man answered:

“Lassie… The castle wis abandoned whin James Stuart became king o’ England. In 1603.”

She felt her heart missing a beat, as the words echoed in her brain. How it was possible? She had left… She was… What had Callum done?

No, not what Callum had done. What had she done? She was the one that entered the stones, the one that sang the words, that danced during twilight… She must have said something wrong, missed some steps…

“Ye look lik’ him.” The man said, walking towards her, as she shivered with her arms holding the grey stones of the castle. “Whit is yer name, lassie?”

Ellie was finally able to take her gaze from the grass growing near her feet, watching the old man attentively. She should not tell him, she should have gone away, she should have…she had nothing and she never felt so lost.

“Eleanor. Eleanor MacDonnell.”

The man didn’t blink. He only shook his head, smacking his lips together.

“A’ve thought so. And ye came fur ye brother, right?” 

_ Callum. Oh, Callum! _

“Yes.” She answered, feeling her throat suddenly dry. “Where is he? Is he here? Where? How?”

The man tried to calm her down, putting his hands over her shoulders, but she took a step back, nervously. 

“He is in the new manor, lass. Juist behind that hill, I kin take ye there if…”

But it was too late. She was running again, feet deep in the tall grass, the skirts gathered in her hands and her heart in her throat.

__________________

No one was there.

Actually, there was barely a castle at all. There were only old rocks, weeds, and, most probably, bats. Adam walked around the yard, looking to the black windows watching him, like open mouths screaming secrets.

Begging for him to go away.

“Eleanor MacDonnell, what have you done?”

He was expecting to see light and… more than this. In a weird corner of his mind, maybe he was expecting to see knights and damsels, with pointy hats and long veils. A dragon would have been a nice addition as well.

But he wasn’t expecting all this… emptiness.

It looked like the place had been like that for centuries and it was certainly weird that the girl continuously insisted that she needed to be there, to meet her family again. She was clearly insane and still…

Still, he wanted to find her and see if she was well.

_ Adam, you’re a fool. _

He should have taken his horse and gone back to the road. To his path. But he had to listen to the conversation, he had to listen to Eleanor’s name being said and his heart… just dropped from his chest.

Adam walked towards the doors, just glancing behind his shoulders to check on his horse, munching the tall grass and looking satisfied. As he ran his digits over the ancient wood, feeling the green, slippery moss…

He pulled the frame and it came with his pull, old and battered, fragments of sawdust and dried fungus falling on the stone floor ahead of him. It was dark and empty, but Adam was a soldier. He had faced worse places. 

He had to even cook for himself.

He entered, carefully, feeling the corners with his boots, listening to the hoot of the owls, and the fast sounds coming from the gallery. The castle was huge, his steps echoing all around him, while his heart thundered fast in his chest and he cleaned his throat, calling:

“Eleanor?”

Silence, complete and horrifying. Adam supposed he would not find her there, as he got closer and closer to the old ruins, to the closed entrances and the weeds covering the yard. The castle was, indeed, in shambles, like the old man had mentioned.

But he had said something else.

A house, wasn’t it? Glengarry House. A marquis that would help Eleanor. That would help the bastard. He felt his toes hitting a larger stone and he raised his hands, feeling the carved columns of a fireplace.

Was Eleanor a bastard? Maybe… She had said that she was married to a horrible man and that her brother managed for her to escape his grasp. If she was the natural daughter of a nobleman… that would explain everything.

As a bastard, Eleanor would not have been accepted by the society. It was quite scandalous every time someone discovered the existence of a new child from a man of irrefutable character. The offspring would be, largely, abandoned in private houses to be taken care of and, when the time has come, they would follow a mercantile path (if a boy) or marry a gentleman, perhaps a landowner in the colonies, a pastor or a teacher.

However… If the child was fathered by a duke or a marquis… It was different. They controlled power not only in those lands but in the society itself. A natural daughter, the only daughter, of a marquis, especially a beauty as Eleanor, would be extremely important for the father and the family. She could be married to powerful people, people that didn’t necessarily would have a title.

Adam paused for an instant, satisfied as he finally understood Eleanor’s secrets. It made sense: raised alone in a private house, married to some weird old man, in a quest to the protection of her half-brothers, in the famous family estate, to discover it in ruins.

However… She told him stories about Glengarry. She loved it and she was eager to go back. To see it for herself. It was her home.

Nothing made sense. Every time he thought he had a nice explanation for Eleanor’s story, he would find a mistake or a detail that would put his explanation to the ground. It would be easier to simply admit that the girl was crazy and lived a fairytale in her head. He would be gone and she would be taken care of by worried siblings, most likely.

_ The poor, crazy, bastard who dreamt of knights in shiny armor and evil spouses. _

But… Her eyes. They were steady and hopeful and… amazing. They had truth written all over each dark-green fragment in her irises.

He reached the large window from the other side of the room, raising the old blankets that served as shutters and watched the valley and the hills, smooth as a calm sea, the grey clouds coming from the horizon, preparing them for the winter.

And right there, in the valley, facing the old castle, a Jacobite structure, light up in the dark night, screaming wealthy and warmth. Glengarry house, most probably. The house the old man had mentioned, where the new lord lived, the half-brother of the broken-hearted girl that could be roaming anywhere…

_Oh. There she was._

A lonely and still figure, so tiny from where he watched, placed near one of the bright lights near the house.

__________________

It was Callum. But it was not at the same time.

She closed her eyes, feeling the pain on the back of her head, as she tried to understand what was happening, standing there, watching a family mingle after dinner. A family that what not hers. Or, at least, she thought it was not.

_Oh, God._

He had the right eyes and that different shape of the cheekbones, that made it so… singular. It gave the impression that Callum was always smiling, as it prompted his cheeks up and made his eyes slant upwards as well. He had the right format of his eyebrows and lips, with the high bow and the soft chin.

But… The way his nose seemed a little… narrow. It was his hair, that didn’t have the blond hue she was used to or the curls that would twist around his head, making him look like he had just woken up. It was the fact that he seemed to be too old.

He was there. But he was not.

Callum, or the man that looked like him, was talking to a woman, with a high up-do and several layers of silk over her. She looked like a desert that had gone wrong, all pink and fluffy. Her black hair was a contrast with her pale skin and when her hand rested, unconsciously, over her belly, Ellie knew that he was not Callum.

But who was he?

As though he had heard her silent plea, the man raised his head, locking his eyes with her, standing in front of his window, in the middle of the night. Sad, tired, dirty, and hungry. She had not eaten all day, eager to come home, to find her family. 

And she only found the pieces of a castle.

And him.

He got up, quietly and vanished from her view. She must have scared him. Probably, right now, he would be fetching the guards and taking her to prison. Or the dungeons. Or whatever he would seem to fit the poor image of a girl.

However, she heard a voice, calm and quiet, so similar to Dougal’s that she shivered. 

“May I help you, miss?”

She turned, expecting to see her older brother, while still knowing that she reached a point there was no hope anymore. And hope, indeed, she had not: the man was there, with the candle lights behind him, so in peace that it made her almost cry in front of him.

_ Calm yourself. _

With her heart missing a beat and her head in pain, she approached the man, going towards the light, which made him say a soft ‘oh’. She halted, hands clasped over her belly, trying to control her stomach, which was not happy with all the emotions in that room.

“I see it now.” He said and she didn’t know what he meant by that statement. Maybe… He acknowledged they looked alike? She had the high cheekbones from Callum, inherited from their father, a man that even with the features, would never seem to have a day of joy in his life. 

Maybe he was talking about her thorn dress and her mud-stained socks.

It could have been a million things, but he didn’t say anything else. He just didn’t see the need in explaining his meaning. He just went back to where he came from, leaving Eleanor shocked and more lonely than ever.

Since she had locked eyes on the man and realized he was not her brother, she hadn’t thought about what she would do now. She had nowhere to go. No house, no home, no family, no money.

She had abandoned her knight and he would be probably too far away now for her to reach him. She didn’t even know where he was heading, which made it almost impossible to find Adam.

She was alone.

So, so alone.

And she was sad. She was hurt and she was in pain. A feeling she never took very seriously, until now. Until the moment she laid her eyes in her empty castle. When she touched the fallen stones and the weeds growing between the cement. When she searched for the flags and the soldiers in their posts and found just bats. 

When she watched a man that looked like her favorite brother and sounded like her older brother and… And he was not either of them.

And she was so… terrified, a feeling that she never felt so raw in her skin, not even when she saw that pair of yellow eyes on the woods, or when she noticed that her feet were not touching the ground anymore when she jumped through the stones. She didn’t feel it when she learned to use a sword, or that she would marry Lord Gordon, or when she tackled a drunk man in the night.

Because… She had the certainty that somewhere, within her reach, her family would be there for her. Her three stupid, insufferable brothers, that loved her as much as she loved them.

And Eleanor was so… angry. She was angry because Callum left her alone. Because Dougal didn’t insist on her father to break the marriage contract or because Malcolm didn’t escort her to Mackenzie’s lands. She was angry because she thought she would be safe, first by following the mystery witchcraft Callum created and then believing Sir Adam would keep her safe and sound until she reached Glengarry.

She was a fool.

A complete fool.

Callum’s magic was fake. Dougal was not interested in her marriage prospects and Malcolm would never go so far north near the winter. And Adam… Sir Adam, with his bright blue eyes and gentle smile… he was just a man.

He gave her the world in his words. He promised to keep her safe and sound. He swore it, even when she thought she would be fine by herself. And then, he kissed her. And it was magical and perfect and she wished she could just… die in his arms. 

And he let her go. And she left.

And, as all the men in her life, he just didn’t care about her at all.

“I asked for the housekeeper to find you a room in the servant's hall.” The man said, coming back, in his calm attitude. “I can’t take you as a guest. I… My family… they don’t understand. They… have issues with Father and can’t… separate his doings from the lives he made.”

She watched him closely, trying to grasp what he was saying.

“There will be supper for you. And new clothes. And a bath.” He paused, unsure. “I’m really sorry you discovered like that. I tried to track down as many as I could and I never knew… that there was a girl.”

“Excuse me?” She was able to say, finally, blinking at the bright lights. “I believe I lost your meaning, sir.”

“I… Lord MacDonnell… I mean… Father. He was not the best man or the most faithful husband. There were more like you, that I found around the area.”

_Oh_.

“I believe, sir, you’ve might mistake me for someone else…” She began to say, being interrupted by the man.

“But, you… we… we look alike…”

“I was indeed very intrigued by your little celebration. But I do not intend to bother you further. Thank you.” And she walked away. Even when he kept calling for her, or the girl he thought she was, one of the many offspring of a Lord MacDonnell she didn’t recognize. Of a life that it was not hers.

In a place that she didn’t belong to.

And that was when Ellie saw him coming. Her knight. And she just crumbled to pieces.


	11. A lady in pieces

November, 1780

He couldn’t see her. Not with the bright lights coming from the manor behind her, shining over her back and giving the girl a halo. Not with his heart in his throat, as he ran down the trail, fearing what he would see when he got there.

And then, Adam didn’t fear anymore, as the girl began running towards him, her arms pulling him against her cold body and her head burying deep in his chest.

“Oh, God, Eleanor…”

And she shivered. She shivered in his arms for a long time, not talking or looking at him, just holding his torso like her life depended on that. Adam didn’t dare to move, his arms around her, caressing the mess that was her hair, while he watched the surroundings, searching for whatever made her act like that.

Like she trusted him completely. Like she truly feared the world.

“Eleanor…” He begged, trying to pull her of him. She didn’t move. “Eleanor, look at me.”

“No.”

“Eleanor, please. I need to know.”

She shook her head and held him tightly.

“I can’t.”

His heart crumped a little inside his chest and he let her be in peace, buried in her feelings. He held her in place as she melted in his arms, giving her the heat that had left her completely. He stood there until she stopped shivering. Until she sighed, loudly, and raised her head.

Adam couldn’t see her features, but he saw the spark in her eyes when she said:

“I want to go.”

He didn’t ask her where she planned to go, how or when. He just nodded and let her lead him to somewhere, even when her feet failed beneath her and he had to hold her, preventing an ugly fall. She tried to stand up again, but he could see her struggle, her pain, her anger all in one façade and he simply pulled her in his arms.

“Let me down.” She commanded, while he held her like a kitten, as he tried to find the path he had used to get down there.

“Why? You will fall again. No.”

“I will not fall.”

“Stop.” He begged, trying not to lose his balance.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Stop. Stop trying to be so strong. You don’t need that right now.” He paused. “Just… trust me.”

And for his complete surprise, she did. Eleanor didn’t complain about the fact she was being carried uphill, like a lap dog or something worse. She just rested her head in his shoulders and closed her eyes.

Adam could feel her body resting and adjusting to his own, her limbs getting softer under his touch, adjusting to the corners of his arms. Her hands played with his ponytail, pushing and pulling the leather ribbon he tied to keep all the strands in place, like she was deep in her thoughts.

He wanted to know what she was thinking. What was going on deep inside her mind. Was she thinking about the abandoned castle? Who was the man that kept calling for her? Was he her brother? A cousin? Or no one at all?

That’s when he felt. The soft, freezing cold on his right cheek, followed by another one on his forehead and nose. He paused, raising his head to the heavy, grey clouds and the fast, light white dots that fell from it, twisting and dancing by the command of the freezing wind, falling on the earth with a gracious sigh.

Snow.

The light and pretty snowflakes started to get heavier over his head, changing his vision to white, covering the emerald fields with no mercy. Adam pulled Eleanor close to his body and started walking faster, praying for anyone that could hear him to make him find shelter before the storm started.

Maybe he was heard.

Or maybe, he was just on the right spot.

But as he tumbled through boulders and slid through the moist grass, he saw the black grey mass of the ancient castle, so big and scary that he could see it even amidst the storm that hit their frail bodies. Without thinking, he jumped through the opening he made on the door, happy to find a place where the cold fingers of snow couldn’t catch him.

“I don’t want to stay here.” He heard the soft whisper coming from his shoulders and he halted mid walk to look at her, so tiny in his arms.

“It is snowing. Heavily.”

“I know.” She paused, for what seemed ages. Adam considered trying to convince her of his reasons, maybe a speech of some kind, when she said, faintly: “Just… don’t leave me. Please.”

“Never.”

__________________

She shivered and moved closer to the fireplace, her fingers feeling the designs carved on the stone, drawings of leaves and fruits, chosen by her own father, when he became a chief for his clan. Now, the soot was covering the margins, so heavy and old that even she was scrubbed with her nails, it remained the same.

She heard Adam’s horse snorting near the entrance, placed there by the owner, to protect the animal from the heavy snow that was falling from the sky. It was nice to hear the comforting sound coming from so near, lulling her to a place where she was more… herself.

“I found some old covers and pillows.” Adam said, coming from upstairs. “Take of the stockings. I’ve a spare pair for you.”

Eleanor blinked, confused, while the man arranged everything on the ground, fetching his satchel and taking a very white pair of socks. He handed it to her and waited, for what seemed a very long time, while Eleanor stared at it.

“Eleanor, please. Just take it.”

“Ellie.”

“What?”

“My brothers called me Ellie. I… I would like if you call me Ellie too.” She blurted, her hands tucked beneath her.

“This is not very proper.” He teased and for the first time during that night, she smiled, a sad movement of her lips, slow and unwilling.

“Birds of a feather flock together.” She answered and tried to pull the slit over her thigh to the corner, covering the exposed skin.

For a moment, they just stared at each other, Adam still holding to his socks. When the warmth coming from the fireplace started to be almost unbearable, he said:

“The castle has been empty for centuries.”

He didn’t ask. He stated the thought that have been rushing through her mind, since she heard from the old man himself.

“He said that it had been like that since 1603.”

“But you said that your brothers were here. Your family. You said you left them here.”

“I did.” She sighed, taking her hands from underneath her, playing with the knuckles. “I did because, when I left, it was 1447.”

Silence, so loud she thought she would throw up. Eleanor broke it with a faint laugh.

“I know what you’re thinking. I thought the same thing.” She scrubbed her hands over her face. “I’m delirious. There is no way in the world that this is real. I must be dreaming or hallucinating. And still…”

She took her hands from her face and her green eyes were shining.

“And still it is not like a dream. I’m feeling things. I feel the dirt and the cold and the warmth. And, when you kissed me, I…” She halted, blushing heavily over the orange flames. “I felt it too. Maybe Callum was right. He said that we lived in a world filled with magic. He would often say that once Britain was covered with amazing things… Maybe…”

“You said that he had told you how to escape your husband.” Adam said and she nodded, embracing her knees.

“Do you believe me?” She asked, raising her gaze.

Adam stood still, moving slightly only to place the socks on the ground.

“What if I don’t?” He asked, watching her with those pale blue eyes.

“I would not judge you. It is so… surreal.” He could see her throat moving, nervously. “When I asked you to stay with me, I… You didn’t know. I… You can go. I will be fine.”

Adam, to her surprise, moved so quickly, pulling her to his lap, holding her tightly against his chest. She could only hear his words reverberating under his chest, as he leaned to her ear:

“No. Stop saying that, stop trying to be strong. I can see it in your eyes, I saw on the way you stood proud and tall in front of that house. You are scared and you don’t need to be.” A hand caressed her curls and her heart thumped in her throat. “I will not leave you. I may not believe you yet. Or maybe I never will. But I vowed to deliver you to safety.”

“You have nothing to prove to me, Adam.” She answered, a muffled sound coming between the layers of his clothes. “I deliver you from your promise. There is no one here for you to deliver me. There is no reason in keeping this… farse.”

“It may be not to the family you were expecting. But I will make sure you are happy and safe, anywhere you want to be. If you want to get back to the stones, for your family, I will take you there. If you want to stay in Scotland, I will arrange that. Anything you want.” She could hear his heart thumping beneath her ears, so quick and so strong… “I’m your knight, remember?”

And a broken, sad laugh left her body, as the tears fell from her eyes. They just stood there, one holding the other, as the snow fell outside the castle walls.

“What do you say?” He finally asked, hearing her soft sobs. “What do you want me to do, Ellie?”

Ellie.

Her name, so private, in his tongue sent chills down her spine and made a sudden warmth appear in her lower belly. She raised her head, that was buried deep in his chest, staring at those blue, gelid eyes, that could freeze anyone who dared to look for too long. But not her. His eyes made her soft and warm and wet and so, so… thrilled.

“Take me away from these ruins. These memories.” She mumbled. “Take me with you.”

And as he nodded, she cried. She cried for the loss of her family, her home, her life. She cried for the crushing pain of being alone in a new world. And she cried of relief, as the strong hands of her knight caressed her, reassuring that she was not alone anymore.

__________________

“Tell me about you, sir.”

Adam was lifted from his thoughts, as Ellie called him. Ellie. She was buried in a sea of covers, being held tightly by his warm body in front of him and, still, she was so, so cold. He would have to buy her some clothes, quickly.

They have been travelling for hours. They were not too far away from Ellesmere Park now. They were almost reaching the border and, perhaps, by the end of the next day, they will be on the earldom.

The anxious voice that kept repeating in the back of his mind reverberated in his ears, asking:

“How you are going to explain Ellie to William?”

Dear God, he couldn’t just bring a girl, scared and lonely, to a house filled with his family. Peggy would be heavier, almost ready to give birth and he would be bring a stranger to her nest.

What was he going to do?

“Adam?” She called again and he pulled her closer. “Considering everything that I told you, it is only fair for you to share your story as well.”

He chuckled, asking:

“What do you want to know? I’m an open book.”

She stood in silence for a while and Adam thought she had just given up. The cold wind was blowing on their backs and snow kept falling over their heads, in a constant twirling.

“I know your name and your last name. I know you have brothers… Just brothers or brothers and sisters?”

A glimpse of blue, mischievous eyes passed through his mind.

“I have two brothers and one sister.” He paused, unknown how to proceed. Should he say more? Should he wait for more answers? He glanced at her form and, seeing that she stood still, waiting for more, he continued. “Ben is the older. Married, with a child, the heir to the title.”

“The heir?” She asked and suddenly he realized that a huge part of his life was kept a secret, a secret that would change everything. A secret that he wished it was not true.

“My father is… the duke of Pardloe.”

He felt her freezing in his arms, her head turning to the side, the pink cheeks turning a bright shade of red.

“Oh, my. I’m sorry, milord. I…”

“Please, don’t. I’m only a middle child and not even deserving of this form of treatment. Dottie certainly deserves it, even after marrying to a Quacker. That girls was born with the royal seal stamped on her forehead.” He begged, trying to change the subject.

“Dottie?”

“My sister, Dorothea. She lives in the colonies now, with her husband, a physician. They had their first child last year.”

She stood so, so quiet.

“The colonies? You mean… France?” She asked and he almost laughed. The pilgrims would only settle in the 1600s. This small question remembered him of the fact she was alive three hundred years ago.

Or so she said.

“You said that you had two brothers. What is his name?” She said, probably embarrassed by the other question.

“Henry. He is in the colonies. With a woman…” How he would explain his brother’s and Mercy’s relationship? As he thought how to carry the conversation, Ellie said, in a low voice:

“You must miss them.”

“I do.” He blurted, realizing that he, indeed missed his family. He should be there when Dottie married Denzel, when Henry was injured, when his first nephew was born and when they found Ben. But he was home, in England, taking care of his broken mother, of the miles and miles of bright green fields, of the finances shaken by the war and all those things he had to supervise, being the new heir, the Viscount Grey.

“At least you have your brother, Ben.” She said, trying to me more gleeful. “It must be nice to have a nephew, so close.”

Ben, that was reborn from the ashes, with a wife and a child. Ben, who took away everything that he had and Adam couldn’t even be mad with his brother. He loved Ben, with all his heart and would give his life to have him back. However…

However, he had left everything he was invested in. He had left his post to replace his brother in a responsibility he never truly wanted. And when he learned that he loved it, that he loved the grass, the sun, the mud… It hurt to see it being taken away.

He missed seeing the crops growing on the fields, the soft sound of the animals, the baby sheep running behind their mothers, the faithful dog in his heals as he spent the whole day supervising the estate.

“I have a cousin as well. William. We are going to his country estate.” He said, trying to change the subject, trying to stop thinking of the brother and the fields that were once his. “But, perhaps, we should rest for today. The sun is setting in the sky and it is too cold for us to keep going.”

She just nodded, not daring to say a word. Adam wished she understood his silence and his discomfort. He didn’t want to think about things he couldn’t change. He wanted to think about her, warm in his arms, the strawberry blond hair falling in curls around her, like a veil.

“We should find a shelter. This snow is not going to stop so soon.” She commented, raising her head to the sky and letting those soft flakes touch her pale skin. Adam watched it melt with the warmth coming from her body and he wanted to lick it right where it was, tasting the water and the salt of her cheeks.

“We are not going to stay in another barn or cave.” He answered, searching in the distance for his last hope of warmth and safety.

“Oh, Adam, surely you would not think of spending the night in the snow...”

“No...” He paused, smiling to the picture that appeared in front of his eyes, between the hills. “Far better.”

In front of them, a small village started to get closer, friendly and calm amidst the furious snow storm. There he would find an inn for them, with hot supper, nice beds and a hot bath. There he would find new clothes for Ellie and prepare his speech for all the questions he will receive the moment he put his feet in Ellesmere Park.

As she sighed with pleasure from the sight of the small stone houses, Adam hoped he could have her body near him, her laughter in his ear, her hands in his and her mouth...

Good God... That will be a long night.


	12. A lady in flesh

_November, 1780_

“What do you mean ‘there are no rooms available’?” Adam asked, in a low voice that made Ellie’s hair stand up.

“As I’ve explained to you, milord. The snow is heavy and every traveler within a 5 miles reach went looking for shelter. And shelter I gave.” The owner of the inn answered while looking to the dining room crowded with people, demanding food, beer, and warmth.

“I understand that, but surely… You could at least find a room for the lady!” He insisted and the innkeeper looked at her. She could see his gaze trailing down her messy hair, tore clothes, and dirty fingernails. Ellie even closed her eyes, hoping for him not to see the lack of shoes on her feet.

“The lady, hum?” The man decided to say.

“You listen here…” Adam said, pointing a finger to the man, while Eleanor whispered under her breath:

“Adam, really, we should just try the next village…”

He turned to her, eyes wide in his face.

“Look at the snow outside! Knee-deep! It is dark, it is cold and you...” He would point out that she didn’t have any shoes on, as his eyes reached the tip of her toes. “You need to sleep somewhere warm, comfortable, after everything that happened.”

She stood quiet, eyes fixed in his, pain stamped on her face. She bitted her lower lip, while embracing her shivering body, still covered with the Murray tartan.

“Sir.” Adam turned back to the man. “Anything you have. Any room, any spare bed. We will pay whatever you ask for.”

This caught the innkeeper’s attention, who slowly caressed his beard, thinking of what should he do. For a while, hell went loose, without his watchful eye over it, as he thought about Adam’s offer.

“Alright. I have a room. We always keep it ready for the Duke of Stirling. A nice, wide chamber, with a maid to tend wherever the… lady’s wishes are. It will come with a cost, of course.”

“Of course.” Adam agreed, which made the innkeeper smile widely, showing black teeth below his heavy mustache. With a movement, the man asked them to follow him through the filled inn, climbing tiny, wooden stairs and traversing halls decorated with heavy tapestry.

He opened a door, showing a big chamber, with a huge canopy bed, covered by warm blankets and fluffy pillows. In the corner, by the window, there was a wooden table with two chairs. Next to it, a large fireplace, with a fire crackling softly against the stone. It didn’t look like anything Ellie had seen before, for a place like this. Surely, the duke would come often and stay for long periods, to need such fancy accommodations.

“Ask the maid to prepare a bath and fetch the dinner.” Adam said, turning to the innkeeper. “We are in need of new clothes, as well…”

“I will arrange everything for you, milord.” He answered, bowing deeply and leaving them in the wide room.

For a moment, Ellie just stared at Adam, standing still near the door. The fire was crackling soft in her ears and she could already feel warm. Maybe she was feeling a little too warm. There was something in the way they locked eyes, that made her heart beat fast in her chest, heat spreading over her cheeks, neck, breasts…

“If you need anything, please, just ask.” He finally said. “Don’t need to worry about the payment. I got it covered.”

“Really, Adam, I couldn’t…”

“No, please.” He interrupted her. “You needed this. Consider my gift.”

She blushed, heavily. God, she was losing her mind.

“Thank you.”

He nodded, crisping his lips and looking around the room. For a moment, she could see him staring at the large, comfortable bed, standing so close to them… What it would be like, to be taken by his strong arms and pushed in the soft bed? How would it feel, to have his body over hers, his lips in hers one more time…

_Eleanor!_

“Well, I see you in the morning.” He finally said, breaking his gaze from the enormous bed, smiling at her and turning towards the open door.

_Wait._

He turned around, eyebrows high in his forehead and Ellie noticed that she said that out loud.

“I mean… Where are you going to stay? The man said they are full…” She let her voice slip away, realizing what her words could mean.

Was she offering for him to stay with her? To sleep in the same room as her? To share… her bed? Her heart started to beat faster and she felt sick. She couldn’t be serious… Thinking about being so intimate with a man. A man that she was not even married to.

Alright, they have slept together, in the open, before the days started to turn so cold that she could freeze in any minute from now. The room, so hot and cozy and shadowed… It made her feel something.

And maybe she shouldn’t feel this way.

“I will be staying in the stables.” Seeing that she would complain, she continued. “I will be fine, Eleanor. Just… rest.”

And he finally turned around, leaving her in her huge and, suddenly, cold, room.

___________________

He could see her window from the stables. Far in the corner where he stood, if he tilted his head to the right, he could see, between a hole in the wall, the thick glass, illuminated by the candlelight coming from where he had left her.

It was so freaking cold.

For a while, Adam didn’t complain about his decision. He knew it was the right thing to do. After all, he was raised by Hal and Lord John and one of the many things they had shoved in his head during all those frightful teenage years was that a gentleman, a true gentleman, should never, ever take advantage of a lady.

With this thought in mind, he drank the ale and bite the bread without any worries. He went to the stables and talked to the man seeking shelter there. He pulled a cover from the corner and enveloped himself in its warmth. However, as the hours passed and the snowstorm got heavier, he started to question himself.

When the cold wind entered his cocoon, he questioned himself. And when he saw her window, he questioned himself.

Eleanor must be so…warm in her new room. She must have bathed already and his mind dreamed of pale white skin covered in water, the pink nipple hard and ready for his touch…

 _Stop that_.

And then, the light went out. She must have gone to bed, clad in a new shift and new socks, laying on her side, just like the way she liked to sleep. One hand under her cheek and the other sprawled by her side, almost like she was reaching for something.

His mind couldn’t stop wandering, walking to her and her soft body, cupping her buttocks against his groin, pulling her closer to him, as his fingers trailed down her shift, pulling the hem over her hips, touching where…

 _Stop that_.

He tilted his head to the other side and closed his eyes. He tried to take her out of his mind… He really tried. But under his lids, there she was, naked, open, ready for him. She was whispering sweet nothings in his ears and he knew that he would love to stay like that for all his life.

Even if it was just a dream.

Even if it would remain just a dream.

He would take her to Ellesmere Park and Peggy, William and his mother would think of something to help the girl. The Frasers were coming, as well. Maybe, she could start over with them, back in the colonies. He would have to explain to them about her delusions, but they seem to be a very nice couple.

And the mountain weather could help her to be at ease.

That’s why it would all remain as a dream. She would be far away, with the Frasers or whomever his mother would send her to. Everything that happened between them would be only a memory, faint and worn with the years that would pass by. She would get married, have children, and forget him.

But Adam… He would remember, even when he was old and tired. If he lived until then. He would think of the green-eyed beauty that swept him of his feet, literally, and took his breath away.

“Adam?” He heard, faintly, coming from somewhere far away.

For an instant, he thought he was finally dreaming and, gladly, it has nothing to do with erotic dreams and such. But then he heard again:

“Adam? Are you there?”

He raised his head, looking for the voice coming closer and closer to him and saw her. In a shift, so white as the snow outside, woolen stockings and the Murray tartan wrapped around her body, Ellie searched for him.

“Eleanor!” He whispered, getting up and walking to her. “What were you thinking? Coming here, alone, in your underdress…”

“Adam, look at the storm outside!” She whispered back, taking his hand. “You can’t sleep here, with the horses, feeling cold, while I’m in a comfortable and warm chamber. There is enough room for both of us.”

“Eleanor…” He said. “I can’t. I… It is not…”

“Proper?” She mocked.

“Yes.”

“Well, I don’t care.”

And that was when Adam knew he was doomed.

________________

What was she thinking?

Adam stood in her room, barefoot, with his jacket and his doublet in his arm. With the dim light coming from the fireplace, she could see the blond hair coming out of his shirt, calling her attention and begging to be properly seen.

He coughed, unsure of what to do, and placed his things in one of the chairs near the table, scrubbing his hands on the front of his trousers and thinking of what to do. Ellie had no clue, as well.

During the night, after being bathed in warm and scented water, fed with a wonderful supper, and dressed in a clean and soft chemise, she couldn’t stop thinking about Adam. Laying on the soft sheets, she just thought about his blue eyes and his full lips. How it felt to have them on her skin. And what could she do to have them back again.

She never forgot that kiss. And she never understood it.

Too scared to face him. Too hurt to ask when they found each other.

She watched Adam deciding to poke the flames on the fireplace, reviving the dim light and sending sparkles through the air. The orange light showed the muscles in his back, the curves of his hips, the dip on the side of his thigh and she suddenly felt… thirsty.

Eleanor went near her bed, where a jug and a cup waited for her. She filled it with freshwater and took small sips, feeling it go down her throat, taking the heat from her insides.

“That’s it, I think.”

She glanced at Adam and felt the heat coming back once again. He was cleaning his dirty hands in his trousers and the movement, up and down, right to left, reminded of the way he caressed her.

Back when he had kissed her.

And without thinking, she heard her voice coming out in a question:

“Why?”

He waited. Of course, he would wait for her to finish her sentence.

“Why did you kiss me?”

He crossed his arms, raising one eyebrow.

“Why I would not kiss you?”

Eleanor felt her cheeks blushing heavily, as she said:

“Certainly, there are many reasons. It would be easier for you to recite the reasons you had to kiss me. I believe there are fewer of them. Much less.”

And then he walked to her, slow and careful, like a wolf.

“If I answer your question, will you answer mine?”

“What is yours?”

He paused by the edge of the bed, near one of the pillars.

“Why did you invite me to sleep in your chambers?”

_Oh._

“An easy question.”

“If it is so easy, why don’t you answer it?” He teased, crossing his arms and leaning on the pillar.

“Well…” What was that again? “It is too cold outside.”

“It is not that. Try again.” Adam stared at her and she felt her knees fail.

“I… It was unfair for you to sleep with the horses, while I sleep in a room made for a duke.”

He started to move again, his fingers trailing down the edge of the bed, caressing the sheets beneath his digits.

“Why you don’t tell me the truth, Ellie?”

 _Ellie_. He had called her ‘Ellie’. The last night, he had used her nickname as well. But during that moment, it was sweet and gentle and… Now… It felt like honey dripping from his mouth, sensual and so, so… Oh, God.

How the same man could be a gentleman and a rascal, almost at the same time?

“I’m telling the truth.” She answered, trying to compose herself. _Focus, Ellie. He is just a man._

“No, you’re not.” He answered back and he was so close now that she could almost touch him if she reached with her hand. “I know that because I have a feeling that your reason for calling me here is the same reason why I kissed you.”

“Boredom?” She mocked, trying to gather all her strength.

“No.”

“A sudden death wish?”

“No.”

He was too close now, the shirt rubbing against her knuckles, tightly holding the tartan in her shoulders. She could feel, up and down, his chest moving with his breathing, against her hands, against her finger that got away from her grasp and slid, gently, against the hem of the neckline.

She waited. Waited for him to say something, to pull her closer and kiss her lips. She waited, with her heart beating so fast in her chest that she thought she would faint. And, even so, she knew. She knew why she had called him there, despite the snow and the heavy smell of horse back in the stables.

She had called him there because since she met the man, knocking him down of his mount and stealing his horse, she knew that something had changed. It was not only the magic in the stones, that led her to another century, far away from her family.

It was another type of magic, primitive and dangerous, that intertwined her life with Adam’s, attracting each other like honey and bees. Her mind has been filled with his eyes and, since the kiss, she couldn’t help but wonder about his lips too.

He had been her cross to carry, the most insufferable man she had ever met, but the most charming and handsome as well. And when she needed, he was there, her knight in shining armor, like she was a damsel in distress of some sort.

Was that to be? Was this Callum’s intent? To lead her to this man forever?

And as her mind raced with thoughts, she raised one hand, placing it gently over his heart, that was beating almost as fast as her own.

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”

And she saw his eyes melt in front of her, the icy blue irises lightening with… warmth and something else. Something deep, that took her breath away, as he smiled and said:

“I’ve told you we had the same reason.”


	13. A lady in his arms

_November, 1780_

His fingers were caressing the side of her jaw, amazed by how soft her skin was. Ellie’s eyes were locked in his, her breath caught in her throat. She brushed her face against his fingers, her lashes flickering with the pleasure of his touch. Adam reached for her waist, taking it in his hands and making her gulp with delight.

“What are we supposed to do now?” She whispered, as he stroke her curves with care.

He could feel her warmth underneath her thin shift and felt an urge to take off the piece of fabric from her body. However, at the same time, he wanted to be like that, with her in his arms, her shallow breath against his torso.

“I don’t know.”

He could take her clothes off. He could expose her breasts to the warmth, tasting her nipples with his tongue and feeling her with his digits. He could kiss her like she demanded to be kissed before and like he never kissed a woman in his life.

He could hold her, until she fell asleep in his arms, watching her through the night, thinking of what they would do, now that the words were said.

_He couldn’t stop thinking about her._

“You have never been with a woman?” She asked and he blushed.

He had had many women before. Prostitutes and widows. Married and separated. He liked the blondes with pretty eyes, the red-headed with luscious smiles, the brunettes with sharp tongues.

He had fucked them. He had tasted every little part. He had discovered their little secrets and whispered things in her ears to make them blush with pleasure. He had worshiped each body that he met during his life and never disappointed a lover.

But now, with Ellie here, long lashes spreading shadows over her cheeks…

“It’s different.” He decided to answer.

“How is it different? I’m a woman, like the others.” She said back, lifting her gaze to meet his.

It was different because she was pure. A virgin, from a noble and ancient family. A girl, well-educated and bred, despite the fact she attacked him in the middle of the night and tried to steal his horse. Everyone had defects and God knows how…what truly happened to her.

She said she came from the past and Adam wanted to believe her… He wanted to believe her, despite his mind kept telling him what was probably the real reason for all that confusion.

He had met soldiers, soldiers who were too distressed by the death and the sorrow of war, soldiers who lost their minds. They created worlds where things were different. There were small things, like family members that still lived, limbs that still existed, friends that were not missing. Others imagined a life where they were related to the king or the colonel.

Maybe… Life was not easy for Ellie. And she created that world for her, a world that was the only protection against the truth.

“Adam.” She said, playing with his shirt. “You’re thinking too much.”

He was. He would never do that with another lady in his arms. The Adam from before would have taken her to his bed, spread her legs, and tasted her core.

But things… Were not the same. He was far away from home, his brother had resurrected from the dead and… He was enamored. Adam Grey, the heartbreaker, was smitten by the tiny fairy in his arms.

“I want to kiss you.”

She smiled and he could see the tip of her tongue.

“So, why don’t you kiss me?”

Because kissing her would lead to other things, things that she was not prepared to deal with, not after all the trauma.

“I…” He tried to put his thoughts in words, to no avail.

“It’s because we are not married?”

Not exactly.

“You think you’re taking advantage of me?”

“I will be taking advantage of you, Ellie. You… After yesterday, everything changed. Your whole world… Your family… I vowed. To be your knight.”

“No.”

He stopped, raising his eyebrows.

“No?”

“No.” She repeated. “You vowed to keep me safe and happy, whenever it may be, whoever it may be with. And I’m safe with you. And I’m happy with you.”

He pulled her against his body, resting his forehead in his, watching those bright green eyes.

“I can’t be with you the way we should be. I can’t… Marry you. Have a family with you. I…” _I’m too broken. Too sad. Too lonely._

“I don’t care.”

“You say that now, but in the future…”

“In the future, I will still want you. Marriage was only a big disappointment in my life. It was a way to sell me to the highest bidder and the only thing that it truly presented me with…Was you.” She paused, rubbing the tip of her nose against his. “I will have you, any way you will have me, as long as you want me the same way that I want you.”

She opened her eyes to find the depths of the sea.

“And how will you have me?”

__________________

Eleanor blushed profusely, her heart beating fast in her rib cage. She didn’t dare to say it, the words that were bubbling in her chest. She just stared, lips apart and eyes amazed, trying to focus on the tall man in front of her, his blond locks falling from his shoulders and blue, bright eyes staring straight at her.

“How will you have me?” He insisted and she had to exhale, slowly.

That was it.

This would change everything.

And she was so excited.

“I will have all of you.” She answered and before she was aware of her surroundings, his lips were already pressed against hers.

His fingers pulled her against his torso, grabbing the fabric from her underdress and pushing and pulling like he intended to tore it from her naked body. This mere thought made her break the kiss, finding air for her excited lungs, her lashes so heavy against her cheeks.

Adam’s lips moved to her neck, caressing and licking and biting his way through, towards her clavicle. Lower and lower he moved, shallower and shallower was her breathing, until he found the hem of the underdress, were a little ribbon tied it in place.

That’s when her knees failed her.

“Let’s go to bed.” He whispered against her warm skin and she wasn’t able to say anything. She tried to mumble words or letters of agreement, but the only thing that left her was a soft moan, as he lifted her in his arms, walking slowly, too slowly, towards the huge canopy bed.

He placed her in the center and watched her for a long time. Eleanor blinked, stunned, watching him with the same intensity he was watching her.

“Come here.” She was finally able to say after her body started to slow down and be aware of what was happening. She didn’t like that, at all. She wanted to be dizzy with feelings, flabbergasted by the power Adam had over her senses.

She wanted more.

And he came, eyes so intense over her that she shivered with anticipation. His body was huge and heavy over hers, in a nice way. She sought his lips with her own, moaning softly as she found them, the same time Adam’s hands found her breasts, swollen and sensitive under his digits.

He played with the size and the weight, finding her nipples under the fabric of the underdress and pinching until she exhaled against his lips. When she opened her mouth, a tongue appeared, gently, shyly, asking for permission. The mere taste of his tongue against hers was enough to make her spread her legs, circling him with her thighs and pulling him closer.

“Oh, God.” She heard him whisper against her mouth and she smiled. It was good to know that she was not the only one losing her mind that night.

Gathering courage, she spread her hands in his torso, feeling the quick heartbeat coming from his chest, the way the muscles shook every time she touched a new part of him. She wanted more. She wanted to feel his skin under the shirt and discover how it would feel against her own naked skin.

Eleanor, without thinking twice, pulled his shirt from his breeches, taking in a fluid motion over his head and throwing it across the room. He was magnificent, with all the tensed muscles and the bright, golden, tanned skin. She placed a kiss over his breast, just a bit over his nipple, and he gasped.

“Ellie, please…”

She looked down and saw his fingers playing over the ribbons in her underdress.

“Yes.”

And then he pulled it, slowly and sensually, as they both watched her flesh show under the white fabric. Adam left the ribbons and caressed her thighs, pulling the hem of the underdress up and up, up her hips and her navel and her breasts, until it was on the other side of the room, sprawled by the side of his shirt.

She couldn’t help but smile, as he licked his lips, his hands traveling from her breasts to her belly, resting just a little above the small triangle of hair that the maids once said it was called her flower.

Ellie saw his gulping and her hands traveled to his chest. His heart was beating so fast that she didn’t know how he was still standing over her. With such a quick heartbeat, he would have fainted some minutes ago.

“Are you sure you want this, Ellie?” He asked, his fingers playing with the hair over her flower. “If we finish what we started… You will not be a maiden, anymore. You will be… mine. Do you understand?”

She understood alright. And she was eager to it.

Calmly, she slid her hands down to his hands and pushed it down against her flower, to where once she had touched and trembled with so many feelings. When his hands met the spot, she let a sob, her hips searching for more.

“I do.”

And Adam went down over her, letting a grunt of satisfaction, as his fingers tickled her and their skins met.

___________________

She was beautiful. Beautiful and warm and soft and so… bold. She had given herself to him and his touch and Adam could not be more… ready. His trousers were in his way, impending the erection that was trying to burst out of its container.

Oh, God.

His lips were sucking a nipple, while his fingers were playing with her button. She was so moist and soft down there that, even when he inserted a finger, she just sobbed with pleasure, her hips scrubbing against his hand, asking for more.

Oh, he wanted to give her everything.

He knew that he was being an utter fool and was not thinking straight what all _this_ meant for him in the future. But this was not his problem now. No. Now it was his pleasure, watching her surrender under him like that.

He wanted to taste her.

But he would scare her.

Or wouldn’t he?

Would she be surprised with his lips touching her down there? Or she would be terrified, leaving him half-naked and with an erection alone in a room during a snowstorm?

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden tension around his fingers. She was frozen, her breath caught in her throat, her fingers and toes curled in anguish… And sudden, the release, the moan, deep and long, leaving her chest, the sprawled limbs, twitching slightly with pleasure.

He left his hands over her privates, licking his fingers and finally tasting her. She was sweet and refreshing, the flavors playing in his tongue, as she laid down and let her body relax.

He laid by her side, caressing her hair and watching her eyelids flutter.

“I… I liked it…” She started to say. “It was different from what I thought it would be.”

This made him raise his head.

“What do you mean, Eleanor?”

“Why…” She paused, opening her eyes. “I heard the servants saying that it hurt.”

“We didn’t…” He would say they didn’t make love, but they had. If that wasn’t love, he didn’t know what love was. “We didn’t…”

“Oh…” He could see her eyebrows going high in her forehead. “So… What was… this?”

“A part of it. The beginning.” He paused. “For the other part, I… My… Erm…” He pointed to his groin and this made her understand.

“Oh. The yard.” She mentioned, her hands traveling to the hem of his trousers instantly. “I thought it served only to piss. But… Thinking about it… Now it explains much of the jokes the soldiers made during training.”

Oh, God.

“Can I see it?” She asked and how could he say no. So, he used his hands to unlace them and pulled it down, getting completely naked in her bed. He kept his eyes in her, waiting for a surprise or lust in her gaze. However, she only tilted her head, slightly, and mentioned. “Oh, it’s different from the ones I’ve seen.”

“Oh, you’ve seen others?” He played and was glad to see her blush.

“I’ve three brothers, Adam. However… Yours is far… larger.” She lost her words.

“It is because I want you.” He said, covering her body with his, placing his erection between her legs, the tip on her entrance, still swollen and moist from her pleasure. She sighed, her hands going to his shoulders and her eyes searching for his.

“You do?”

“I do.” He paused, kissing her neck and biting the tip of her ear, feeling her parts getting moist with each seductive movement. “But do you want me?”

“Oh, yes.” She whispered, her lips searching for his.

He kissed her, with all his heart, waiting for her heart to lose a beat, for her limbs to get weak, to her hips start searching for him. She moved, unconsciously, towards him, and with one hand, he guided himself, entering slowly, as she rubbed herself against his body, as she pulled him closer with her legs.

With a sob, he was all inside her and she kept moving, rubbing, her tongue playing with his in a mimic of what was happening with their bodies. And he moved and she exhaled, her fingernails entering his skin, her head tilting backward with the new sensation. His hand, placed gently under her thigh, went towards her button, stimulating it enough for her to feel the pleasure, forget the new body inside of her, the ache that will appear afterward, with her in his arms and her heart slowing down in her ribcage.

She squeezed him and Adam knew that it was coming again, the pleasure they were seeking. He moved, faster and faster, his fingers playing with her button and she cried loudly, her body shivering with sensations, her release so intense that he almost came inside of her.

Quickly, he left her, almost forgetting she would be sore, and let his seed spill over her navel, his heart thundering in his chest, his buttocks trembling with the pleasure being left of him. Ellie’s hands were still holding him tightly against her, her heart beating in the same rhythm as his.

And that was when he knew he would never let her go.


	14. A lady in pure bliss

_ November, 1780 _

Eleanor woke up in the dark, with a heavyweight over her body. She blinked, lost for a moment, until she felt a face snuggling against her neck. The beard, growing overnight, itched her soft skin and made her legs feel like jelly.

_ Adam _ .

She had surrendered her body to him, last night. He had kissed her naked skin, caressed her breasts, and played with her flower. She had opened herself to him, in bloom, and received him when she was ready. Their bodies met and their souls embraced each other, as his sweat fell on her skin and her breath left her heated core.

Even when he left her body and spilled his seed in her belly, they didn’t cease wanting each other. They kissed, locked in a tight embrace, until they were too tired to keep fighting the urge to rest.

It was lovely to wake up in his arms, with his gentle breathing against her skin. Her fingers traced down his spine and he shivered, pulling her closer to him. She could smell the salt in his body, so attractive to her senses that made Ellie lick her lips.

“Ellie…” He murmured, his hands finding her bottom and squeezing it lightly.

She chuckled and he moved his head from the junction of her neck and her shoulders.

“Are you laughing at my tenderness towards you, milady?”

She couldn’t help but chuckle even more.

“Oh, no, milord. Not at all.” Her hands kept trailing his spine, up and down. “Continue with it, if you please.”

This made him chuckle with her, pinning her underneath his body and kissing her with hunger. Ellie moaned against his lips and her legs spread against Adam’s hips, ready to take him one more time.

_ Oh, God.  _

“Ellie, dear, we can’t.” He whispered, his forehead resting over hers. “You’re too sore, my darling. And we must go.”

He moved, like a lazy cat, his whole body rubbing against hers.

“Oh, no, Adam. Let us stay. Forever, in this bed.” She begged, reaching for his hand.

“Naked as well?”

She blushed heavily, unaware of how to say the feelings that drowned her mind. Oh, how she wanted to have him like that, all day long. She didn’t need to feed or to drink or to use the washroom.

She only needed Adam.

“Oh, yes.” She was finally able to whisper, what prompted Adam to search for her lips in the dark and kiss her, again, gently. For a minute or so, they were only lips for each other, until Adam had to break the kiss. Caressing her left cheek, he got up and walked towards the window, opening the curtains just a bit to light the room.

The sun was already up in the sky, as much high it could get so close to the winter, and they most likely lost the breakfast. 

“If we leave in an hour or so, we will be able to arrive in Ellesmere Park by the sundown.” He said, watching the clouds move slowly against the blue sky.

“We can leave tomorrow.” She said, feeling her heart thundering against her ribcage. Eleanor moved towards him, pulling the sheets to cover her nakedness. “One more day, Adam. Just the two of us, no questions, no worries, no fears.”

He glanced at her, his blue eyes so bright and clear that she thought she was staring at a frozen loch.

“We can’t escape reality forever, Ellie. I need to get back to Ellesmere Park and you need to start your new life.”

She felt a lump in her throat to the mere thought of her recent loss. Her family was centuries ago, waiting for her to come back home and this would never happen. She only had Adam now and he had said to her that he could never give her the family, the marriage, she deserved.

Fueled by lust and passion, she dismissed the idea. She only needed Adam and his body over hers. However, right now, she felt her heartache, as she realized she had only a small taste of true happiness. And, most probably, she would never get tired of him.

Adam walked towards her, taking her cheek in his hand and giving a soft kiss in her forehead.

“Don’t you worry, my dear. Everything will be alright. I’ve promised you that, didn’t I?”

She smiled at her knight. Indeed, Adam had vowed to her that he would guarantee her safety in this new world. Even if he didn’t believe her time-traveling story. He promised her that she would be happy, with the right family for her.

And even though this was not exactly what she wanted, it would have to be enough.

At least for now.

__________________

He wanted to take her in his arms. She looked so lovely, with her messy hair falling over her shoulders, her eyes still heavy with sleep, the white sheets over her pale, naked skin.

Adam would gladly push her back to back, licking her salty skin and tasting the folds of her intimate parts. Maybe in ten days, he would be able to do something rather than take her multiple times a day.

But he had no time for that.

Not now.

Not when the realization of what he had done kept thundering somewhere deep in his mind and taking his peace of mind. The voice of his feather repeating somewhere in his consciousness, telling him that he shouldn’t have surrendered to his emotions. This way of living was not in any way how a gentleman, the son of a duke, should behave.

And yet, he did it.

He had deflowered a virgin, took her into a path of squalor and debauchery. Even though he had said to her he could never have her hand in marriage. He could never give her the children she wanted or the life she deserved.

He had lost all hope to himself since he found himself drunk, half-naked, and beaten in a filthy alley. And he led her to the same life when he corrupted her that night.

And it was so, so lovely.

“Stop thinking so hard, Adam.” She whispered, crawling to where he was standing, naked and proud near the bed.

He had to think. He was obliged to think, due to his father’s voice echoing on the back of his mind. Adam had to, finally, deal with his actions. The drinking, the fighting, the whoremongering… The days have gone by in Scotland and the girl in his arms… All this was his actions to answer for and he would have to think about how to deal with it.

But not now.

Right now, he had to take her lovely body out of his mind, put them in some clothes, grab some food and march towards Ellesmere Park, before it was too dark to keep going and he would have to find shelter somewhere.

And if he had to sleep near Ellie one more time, he would not have the strength to control his actions.

_ God help me. _

“I’m thinking about how I will help you to get into these clothes.” He pointed to a neat, clean pile of fabric in the corner. “I know very well how to take them off but I never experienced putting them on someone.”

She laughed, her cheeks blushed heavily, giving her the same tinge her hair had.

“Shall we discover together?”

Soon, Adam discovered she was amazed by, what she called, the new fashion. He couldn’t care less by how soft her new stockings were or how strange was her pair of stays. He was amazed by the way she rolled up the silk socks, how she tied the bright green ribbons underneath her knees.

Her new smock was so thin, he could see the contour of her body, the bright red nipples showing underneath the fabric and teasing him to bite them until she moaned with pleasure.

Adam laced her stays, watching as she shivered every time he touched her slightly and he felt the same rush going to his groin. Her bosom was tall and proud, calling him to touch the soft pillows they formed underneath the clothing.

The dress matched her eyes, bright green wool with a matching cape, plain but still fancy, probably the best clothing the innkeeper could find. He even found leather boots, probably not the right size, but things that would have to be dealt with meanwhile.

When the time comes and the Fraser’s accepts their new addition, he would buy new clothes for her. Satin, silk, and whatever she pleases. Different shoes, for balls, winter days, or hot summer nights. New, fresh smocks and nightgowns, adorned with laces and ribbons, paired with so many stockings a woman could dream of.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked, tidying the skirt, nervously. “Is there something wrong? I’ve told you that it was too puffy.”

“You’re beautiful.” The words left his mouth without his command. It was too late to take them back, but Adam wouldn’t take them anyway. Her face lit up and he could kiss her right now.

He could kiss her and unbutton her all over again.

_ Focus, Adam, for God’s sake. _

“Thank you, milord.” She said, blinking in joy.

“You’re welcome, milady.” He said, extending his arm for her. “Shall we?”

She placed her ungloved hands over his arm in slow motion, so sensual and erotic that his blood left suddenly for his groin and he almost fainted on the spot. How could his body respond to every movement of hers? How could he be delighted and enamored by such little things, like the way her hand rubbed against his dirty coat or how she licked her lips when nervous?

God, that would be a long day.

_______________________

He was avoiding her. As the sunset in the sky and he accelerated the pace of the horse, the though popped over her mind. Since they had left the inn, Adam had been absolutely kind and proper to her. He found food, paid her bills, and her new dress, placing her over the animal in a swift motion and taking her towards new lands and places.

However, he did not kiss her. He did not touch her. Even when they stopped a little for the horse to drink and rest a little, he didn’t attempt to seduce her in any way or form. Which was quite disappointing for Eleanor’s perspective. After all, her sore core was still claiming for his touch and her lips missed his taste.

She discovered pleasure in his arms and wanted more.

Oh, so much more.

She could only dream of it as her bottom rubbed against his hips and she could feel beneath all those layers of clothing his length claiming for her the same way she wanted to be claimed.

Adam was a mystery, too complex for her to understand his meaning behind his actions.

“We are almost there.” He said, out loud. The horse was as fast as it could get taking two on its back and avoiding trees and holes on the road. Still, she was jumping up and down and could swear she had lost all feeling from her waist down.

“Adam, we should just wait for the morning.” She screamed back.

“Oh, no, no need for that. We are almost there, I swear…” He turned behind to answer her clearly. This was his first mistake. Or maybe the second, considering that he kept going even when it was too late for them to see anything on the road.

As he turned around, a low branch started to get closer and closer and neither of them could see it approaching, considering the dark, cold night. Soon enough, the branch reached them, taking the couple from the horse with the due strength an old oak had. The horse was frightened by the loud noise and the sudden loss of weight over it, but, well trained, kept close, waiting, anxiously, to be summoned.

Eleanor and Adam were in a worst state, as they had fallen over each other, being only helped by the layer of snow underneath them.

“Oh, God.” He moaned, recovering his breath and feeling the cold air burn his lungs. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. Well, I hope so.” She answered, laughing and regretting as the cold air arrived in her lungs as well. “At least we are not dead. Or so I think.”

They laughed together for a while. It was too absurd the scene and still… It was lovely, with his arms around her waist and his chest tight against hers. Since they left their comfortable bed, this was the first time they were truly close to each other. And she missed that.

“Well, I should get the horse back…” Adam tried to move and she stopped him. She couldn’t see his look, but Ellie suspected he was concerned. “Ellie…”

“Oh, no, Adam. Stay.” She whispered, playing with her hands in his back and feeling a shiver pass through the muscles.

“We are laying over the snow. Your dress will be damp in no time…” He tried again, but her hands traveled to his chest, playing with his scarf.

“I really missed having your body over mine…” She could feel her heart thundering, as she said those words. 

“Oh, God, please, Ellie…” He murmured, feeling her lips trailing his neck. “I… I can’t… You don’t understand…”

“You can. I allow it.” She whispered against his jaw, softly. “Take me, Adam.”

The groan that left his throat was more like a beast than a man and it made Eleanor shiver with expectation. An expectation that had no parallel to the real thing, as Adam took her lips against his, making her moan softly with the way his tongue played with her, the way his teeth took her lower lip and made her legs feel like clouds.

Her hands pulled the scarf towards her, making him get closer to her, although it was most likely impossible. They were a mess of limbs and clothes, laying on snow that was already turning into water. Eleanor left the scarf and found his luscious hair, taking it from the ribbon and playing with the locks, the golden locks she so much loved.

She wanted to feel them against her bare skin, like she had felt the other night.

“Take me, Adam.” She begged, with a sob and his movements started to get more frenetic, as his hands pulled and pushed her skirts, trying to find the path printed in her tight, that led those hands straight to heaven.

And when those cold fingers touched her, she cried with joy, grasping tightly against him and slamming her hips against his hand.

“Oh, my dear, you are so… wet…” He said, kissing her neck and his fingers played with her folds and caressed, gently, her button. “You wanted this as much as I did, didn’t you, my darling?”

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, she wanted to repeat in his ear, but she was unable, as she felt it coming in waves. There it was, that feeling, climbing up her legs, making her toes curl with pleasure, her legs shake with lust…

And then…

“A Dhia!”

“Oh, for God’s sake Adam!”

She froze, forgetting the fingers between her legs and what they were doing to her. She could only open her eyes, in panic, watching as a bright light in a lantern lit them up and an old, red-headed man and his younger version watched the couple, surrounded by curious hounds, laying on half liquid snow, doing unspeakable things.

That was the right time for her to faint. She had never fainted in all her life and if God was good and kind, he would give her this grace. Instead, he only gave the power of speech for Adam above her, with his fingers still hiding under the multiple layers of her clothing:

“Oh, Dear Fucking God Almighty…”


	15. A lady in the countryside

_1 st Day of December, 1780_

Eleanor saw the grand manor approach in front of her eyes, surrounded by a halo of bright yellow light coming from its windows. The snow covered its ceiling and adorned each corner and crook, giving the great residence a feeling of… comfort. She was used to her castle, the grey and cubical stones.

But, oh, how she adored the bright colors and grand windows staring at her.

“Here, lassie.” A voice called her and she looked down, to the older man they had met, with his arms opened to catch her.

She blushed, remembering the awkward situation she had put themselves in that night. They were laying in the snow, at an open field, facing the stars above them. She should have controlled herself, waited for walls and doors and locks. Still, she felt so… alive… under him that she didn’t even think of what could have happened.

The man placed his hands over her waist and pulled her from Adam’s embrace, placing her solidly on the ground.

“I can take her from my own goddamned horse.”

“You better keep your hands away from her, lad.” The man said, in a thick Scottish accent. “We need to have a little chat, first.”

“William?” A voice came from the huge doors and Ellie saw a figure, in a pink dressing gown and a huge belly, getting down the stairs. “I told you we should wait for the morning! Look at the snow! We…”

The brown-haired girl lost her voice as she laid eyes in Ellie, standing very still by the side of the old man, Adam behind her, protective, and the younger man leaving his horse with a groan.

“Call Mrs. Fergunson, Peggy. We need a new room prepared, far away from Adam’s if you please. Mother Claire is up?” The man demanded, marching towards her and giving her a small kiss over her forehead.

“Yes. We were waiting for you two…” She kept glancing at Ellie while keeping a protective hand over the bulge in her stomach.

“Take her to the Green Room. She will need to take a closer look at Adam and his…well…friend.”

The woman nodded, walking slowly down the steps and placing a comforting hand over Ellie’s shoulders.

“Come here, dear. We will get you warmed up in no time.”

Eleanor followed the woman through the empty halls, other footsteps right behind her, until they reached a cozy room, with the fireplace roaring with warm flames and pillows and cushions distributed around the place. She had never seen so much soft fabric together and it was marvelous.

“My name is Margareth, but you can call me Peggy. I will be right back in a minute, alright?” The woman said, placing Ellie in a soft chair that almost looked like a bed. “What is yours?”

“Mine?”

“Name. Your name.”

“Oh. Eleanor. Eleanor MacDonnell.”

“Alright, Eleanor. My husband, William…” And she glanced at the younger man with lighter brown hair. “He will stay with you, meanwhile.”

Margareth, soon enough, walked towards the doors, her quick footsteps bubbling through the marble. And Eleanor found herself alone, in a room with three men that seemingly wanted to kill each other.

No, not each other. They wanted to kill Adam.

“You vanish in Scotland for two months and when we find you, you’re attacking a girl on the road!” The young man roared.

“William, this is no time and place for that…” The older man tried to appease him, while Adam came forward, a finger pressed against William’s chest.

“I vanished in Scotland for two months because of you, Willie. So, don’t you dare…”

“I dare! I dare because you’re my guest and, for as long as you’re under my protection, I answer for your actions! How I will explain to this girl’s parents that their daughter had her virtue corrupted by a degenerate living under my roof?”

“I never asked for you to take me into your home!” Adam screamed, his beautiful blond hair falling over his face.

“What should I have done, Adam? I should have let you die on the slums of London, drunk, beaten, and sick with diseases? You’re my cousin! My… best friend…” William’s voice broke and Ellie felt her throat thickening. Her mind was racing through all that was said and she kept thinking on Adam, beautiful, blond, tall Adam, laying on a ditch, beaten to death.

Was that what he hid?

“Maybe we should leave this for now.” The older man said, placing a hand over their shoulders and moving his head slightly towards Ellie.

And then the door opened.

_____________________

Adam never met Mrs. Fraser while she was Lady John Grey. However, right now, he understood how she managed to find two husbands in so little time: she was stunning. Even with old age, grey showing over her dark hair, Adam saw the beauty in her golden eyes. Not only beauty but cleverness as well.

She walked into the room with calm, her eyes searching for wounds and broken bones instantly. Mrs. Murray had praised her as a great healer and, right now, Adam could attest her power.

She kneeled in front of Ellie, taking her young hand in hers and asking questions in a soft, calm voice. He wanted to walk towards the girl, put his hands over her shoulder and assure her that everything would be fine.

Wouldn’t it?

Then, Mrs. Fraser got up and turned to Adam. With her same poise and patience, she managed to get him on a chair, taking his pulse between her fingers and staring right at his soul with bright golden globes.

“I’m glad you’re alive, Mr. Grey.” She said, softly, with a voice that could be no more than a whisper. “For some time we have been avoiding the certainty that you would be found dead on a ditch, with all your belongings stolen.”

“I’m thankful that such a matter didn’t come to be true, ma’am.”

“As we are, Mr. Grey. However, I still think you’re somewhat in trouble.” Her hands slid over the bags under his eyes, pulling them down and watching. “Do you feel sore somewhere?”

“A bit on the shoulder. We’ve been knocked over by a tree branch on our way.” Adam paused, as she left his eyes alone and traveled to his arm. “Why am I in trouble, ma’am?”

“I see.” She smacked her lips, feeling the bones on his shoulder. “Sometimes, Mr. Grey, when a man leaves alone to another land and comes back months after his due date with a girl in his horse, he is often in trouble. And by the look my husband and Lord Ellesmere are giving you, I believe you should be worried.”

“She is alright, isn’t she?” He asked, catching her attention.

“She is. Although she seems a bit scared and tired. A good night’s rest and plenty of food and water and she will be fine.” She paused, placing a hand over Adam’s shoulders. “As you will be.”

“What do you say, Sassenach?” Mr. Fraser asked, his arms folded over his torso, waiting.

“They are all fine, but they need some rest. I believe they have been traveling for a while now and had not met proper accommodations for some time.” She walked to William, smiling shyly. “Let the questioning for tomorrow. Today, we are all exhausted.”

She stared at her husband, almost as if they were talking with each other just by the way they moved their eyes. Before they spent too long on that silent conversation, Mrs. Fraser turned to Ellie and asked:

“Why don’t you come with me, dear, and I will take you to your new chambers?”

Eleanor stared at Adam for the first time since they arrived at the manor. She looked, indeed, terrified and he saw in her look the request for… peace of mind.

“You can go, Ellie. I’ll be right behind you.” He paused, watching Mr. Fraser and William shift their positions. “Although I believe there are some things we need to talk about before tomorrow.”

She nodded, getting up and following Mrs. Fraser to her chambers. The door closed with a thud and Mr. Fraser spoke, softly:

“She is a MacDonnell, William. I’ve heard her saying the name to Margareth.”

“Do you think she is related to…” William started to say and at the same time, Adam felt his stomach dropping.

“Aye.” James Fraser scratched his chin. “The old marquis liked the lassies and it was common to hear about his bastards showing around the Lowlands. I can see a similarity.”

“Dear Jesus Christ, Adam!” William exploded, holding to the fireplace. “Do you know what this means? It was already bad if she was only a farmers’ daughter but… Now?? The natural child of a marquis? Do you know what this means??”

“It is not what you’re thinking.” Adam tried to explain himself, failing miserably. How he could explain that she thought she was a time traveler from the middle ages? How he could explain the way they met, the search for her family and their meeting at Glengarry?

“Explain, then. Before I have an apoplexy.” William begged, his face a weird shade of red.

The wheels of his mind turned, trying to form a phrase, a thought, anything. However, he kept quiet, watching William and Mr. Fraser, the fire crackling in the silence.

“It is complicated…”

“Good grief, Adam!”

“I believe we shall go to bed. Tomorrow the duke, the duchess, Lord John and your brother are arriving in Ellesmere Park. Maybe we should wait for them and see what are the next steps.” James Fraser spoke, calmly, his accent dripping like honey on the floor.

If this was to calm him down, Mr. Fraser had chosen the wrong words. Because, if William was almost having a heart attack right now, he could not expect less from his own father.

___________________

William marched to his room still angry. He had been worried for his cousin for weeks, waiting and waiting for news, for something, as the days grew colder and the snow started to fall over his head.

He had alerted the servants to keep an eye on the mail carriage and any news regarding a man, nearly thirty years of age, blond hair and blue eyes, found dead in a ditch near Inverness.

The Frasers arrived and Adam was still missing. And the constant waiting was not good for Peggy, who grew heavier and heavier with the pregnancy. He needed to do something, before Uncle Hal and Aunt Minnie arrived in Ellesmere Park, when he would be obliged to announce that he had sent their son to certain death.

It was late at night when one of the boys who worked at the General Store by the village came running towards the house, banging their fists against the door until Barrow, the butler, came to answer, already in his nightgown.

It was a letter, from the Murrays, addressed to Adam. It should have come with the mail directed to Ellesmere Park, but it was misplaced and went straight to the General Store, where most of the mail to the villagers was collected. All the servants had spread the news regarding Mr. Grey and when the boy saw the name over it, he knew exactly what to do.

William shouldn’t have opened it. But he did. And he saw the date and he saw the thanks and he saw the best wishes for a safe travel back home. And he knew he needed to do something.

That’s why he grabbed his father and went straight to the village, hoping to talk with the post coachman and maybe send an alert through it. Soon enough, they found the man on the local tavern and explained to him what had happened to Adam. Gladly, he was going back to Scotland in a week and would be able to spread the word to the other drivers.

They left the village late at night, feeling tired and worried. Where was Adam? What had happened to him? Would he ever see his cousin again? Dead or alive? The snow falling around their heads was beautiful and calming, bringing peace and hope to the world, announcing the arrival of Christ, their savior. And still… Still, William kept thinking about Adam.

Then, a sound. Soft at first, somewhere ahead on the road. The tall figure of a horse, his breathing showing as clouds around it. And the confusion of bodies, moving closer and then pulling apart. His father Jamie had motioned for William to stay quiet, as they left the horses and held tightly to the lantern, one hand on the sword the other on the pistol.

“Christ!” He complained, remembering the moment when the lantern lit up the bodies and Adam’s face appeared in front of him, while his hands were down under the lady’s skirt.

“You should, at least, explain to me what happened.” A sleepy voice came from the bed and he saw Peggy straightening up, a protective hand over her belly.

“As you haven’t figured it out yourself.” William mocked, taking his boots and his trousers, as he found his way to his place next to her in bed.

“I spent one entire day thinking I was dreaming when I was, in fact, in another century, Will.” She smiled, a hand stroking the side of his face. “But considering all I’ve heard and seen, I believe that girl is in trouble.”

“Adam is in trouble.”

“Oh, please. As if a man in this century can get in trouble with anything.” She dismissed his statement with a movement of her hand. “The women… they are the ones who really suffer.”

“Tell me what I can do to release your pain, milady…” He joked, kissing her neck.

“William! Don’t tease! You know what I mean.” She pushed him away, while still laughing from his kisses. “He has… how do you say it?... corrupted her?”

He thought of the two of them, embraced on the snow, the cloud of petticoats and skirts around the girl, as she involved Adam with her bare legs.

“Yes.” He paused. “And apparently she is related to a marquis.”

“That’s not good.” Peggy whispered, caressing her belly.

“And… apparently there is a more complicate story behind the two of them.” He leaned on her shoulder and joined her in her caressing.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, does it. That’s how things work in here: if you fool around with a high-born lady, you have to marry her.” She put things plainly.

“Oh, God…”

“Oh, Will, come on! We were caught snogging behind the bushes during a ball. It’s not like you were a saint…” She smiled and kissed his head.

“I certainly wasn’t a saint.” He sighed, kissing her shoulder. “We better get some sleep. My family arrives tomorrow and Jamie decided that we should talk with all the elders in the same room.”

“Don’t you worry, Will. Your family is coming home and they will arrange Adam’s mess. Think of the baby that will be born, our little James.”

“Do you mean our little Isobel…”

“You wish… I will get those 20 guineas…”


	16. A lady among fairies

_December, 1780_

“Wake up.”

Adam opened one eye, slowly. That was the first time he slept in feathers, since he left Ellesmere Park, and it was… amazing. Still, considering his last night with Ellie, he missed the way her body molded against his own, the sweet smell coming from that particular place behind her neck, the soft tremor in her chest every time she breathed.

He even tried to find her during the night, but she was tucked away somewhere deep the manor, away from his gaze. He would not find the solace of her body that night and he had to take it.

The room was still dark and a figure stood by his side on the bed.

“Get up, Adam. We have to talk.”

It was William, fully dressed, shaved, and ready for a long walk over the fields, with high boots and a long coat.

“Why don’t you go back to bed, enjoy your wife’s warmth, and come back in one hour or two?” Adam mumbled, turning sides to avoid seeing his cousin.

“Because we need to talk and I think you will prefer doing that without Mr. Fraser, your father, my father, and your mother hearing it.” William said, pulling the covers. “Go on, we don’t have much time before they wake as well.”

Unwillingly, Adam left his warm bed and put new and soft clothes. Oh, how he missed the smell of… clean things. He had spent too much time on the road.

Soon enough he was walking away, leaving the manor with large strides, with his cousin by his side taking the lead. It was clear that they were going to the old monastery, where once he and William would play among the ruins and mock the ghosts that haunted the place.

“What happened?”

The question came as soon as they reached the stones covered in snow.

“I… I tried to warn you. I got sick on my way to Lallybroch. The rain was too heavy, the roads too muddy. When I realized, I was coughing my lungs out and falling on Mrs. Murray’s feet.”

“Quite an entrance.”

“Indeed. It took weeks to recover. By the time I left the place, I was already late. And then… I met Ellie.” Adam justified, placing a gloved hand on the stones.

“Ellie.” William smacked his lips. “So, you two are close.”

“Yes. Well, I…” He paused. “Yes.”

“Eleanor MacDonnell, the bastard child of the Marquis of Glengarry, the 4th richest man on the Island.” William said, playing with some dead leaves. “I’ve never been close to the family but Jamie… James Fraser remembers them from ancient gatherings, before Culloden, their betrayal to the Jacobite cause and the title.”

“No.”

“No?”

“She is not his bastard sister.” Adam paused, feeling his mouth dry.

“She is not? Certainly, James would remember…”

“It is more complicated than that.” Adam sighed, sitting by the baptismal font and placing his head over his hands.

“So, tell me.”

And Adam told him. He told his cousin about the night he was so drunk that he was knocked out of his horse by the girl. The way they had fought on the dirt and she almost won. He told him about the aftermath, when he decided he would take Eleanor to her family.

Adam told William about the nights they spent together, just talking. He told about the moment they separated their paths and how he went back searching for her.

“I knew there was something wrong.” Adam whispered. “She kept talking about that castle, like it was full of life. And when I arrived… There was nothing there. Not a single soul. I’ve found her standing near the new manor, eyes lost with horror. And when I took her back to the ruins… She was sure she had lived there centuries ago, William. What should I do? I couldn’t leave her. I was… We were…”

The silence was overbearing and Adam didn’t dare to catch the look on William’s face. Certainly, he would think that all that was utter nonsense and Ellie was, indeed, insane. And, although Adam didn’t quite believe her still, he knew, from a fact, that she was not crazy.

“So, you decided to take her virtue and kidnap her?” William commented, after a long time.

“She wanted. And I wanted. I’ve explained to her that I couldn’t marry her…”

“Oh, but you will marry her.”

“I can’t, William! And you know that. I don’t have money, lands, or anything under my name. I just can give her my love and that is not enough. My love is not enough because is tainted. Is tainted by my wrong ways, by… Oh, God.” He could feel the tears trying to leave his body. He took a deep breath. “We will find a place for her, where she will be comfortable. A house with servants, new clothes, jewelry, a carriage with horses. As soon as I get back to London and start the new boxing season…”

“You will not do that!” William exclaimed, walking towards his cousin. “I didn’t take you from the gutters just to see you get back to them gleefully! I thought you wanted another life, Adam…”

“I…”

But before he could answer, the loud sound of hooves came from the road, a symphony of wheels turning, people laughing, horses neighing, and trunks shaking.

And they knew.

The Grey’s were coming.

___________________

Ellie woke up in a sea of feathers and linen. The sun was shining outside, tall and proud over the sky and she was on the most comfortable bed she had ever slept on. Everything was bright, from the linen to the glass, so clear she could see what it showed on the other side.

“Are you awake, dear?” A voice asked from the door and Ellie turned to see Peggy enter quietly on the room. “It’s not late, but soon we have visitors coming. It would be better if they meet you downstairs.”

 _Oh_. Yes, she remembered the visitors, Adam’s parents that were coming from London, the missing pieces of the long talk Mr. Fraser wanted to command. Eleanor could feel her heart dropping on her chest with the mere thought of trying to explain to all those lords and ladies that all her life was somewhere in the past while she was there, so much… alive.

Even thinking about it made her feel crazy.

“I separated some dresses for you, if it is fine. With the baby, I’ve been growing out of more clothes than I wanted to…”

Ellie stared at the huge bump.

“Are you anxious?”

Peggy laughed, as she displayed a beautiful light green gown, with matching gathers and ribbons.

“I can’t think of any women that wouldn’t be anxious for the birth. That’s why I called Mrs. Fraser, from the colonies. She is one of the best doctors… I mean… Physicians on the whole world.”

Ellie touched the green fabric, gently.

“You don’t need to worry that much. It’s quite natural.”

The lady sat by her side, playing with the same silk against her digits.

“Have you seen a lot of childbirths?” She asked, with a shaky voice.

“A few. I’ve helped children to be born in Glengarry and the village. I never really aided in any physical meaning but the people… They considered I was good luck.”

Peggy smiled, forgetting for a while her worries.

“I thought gingers were considered to be soulless.”

“Och, if all the gingers in Scotland don’t have a soul, the English are in mighty trouble.” Ellie smiled, rejoicing at this moment shared among women. “People thought that my mother was a fairy. Often, fairies are seen as dangerous beings that you shouldn’t mess with but there was an old tale of an ancient prince who fell in love with a fairy. A fairy princess.”

“Ohhhh, I love fairytales. Go on.” Peggy insisted, getting closer to her new friend.

“He fell in love and the fairy was enamored by him as well. So, she left the fae people to stay with her one true love and, in exchange for making their princess happy, they would protect the clan with their magic.” She paused for a moment, eyes lost in the past. “My mother was a sickly baby. Many thought she was a changeling from the fairy, a baby that was stolen and replaced by a fairy itself. Usually, changelings die with weeks or months. But she lived until adulthood, pretty and kind enough to fuel gossip and make people believe she was, indeed, something magical.”

“She must have been a wonderful lady.” Peggy’s voice was only a whisper.

“Oh, I would not know. She died when I was only a baby. All the servants said that she was a kind and generous soul. That she loved me too much.” A dark cloud passed her eyes. “My father was not very good to my mother, you see. So, the people believed the fairies would not help them, considering what was done to my mother. But if I was close, they would protect the house from bad spirits and other magical beings, because they would try to protect me. The child of a fairy.”

“That’s nice.” Peggy commented, placing a comforting hand in Ellie’s shoulders.

“Yes. It was, I would untie knots around the house, give gifts to the fairies, open doors and windows for the bad spirits to come out while inviting the good ones to come in.” She smiled again. “I never lost a baby or a mother. Ever.”

“So, I will make sure that you stay with me, when my time comes.”

Before they could say anything else, the sound of many carriages and the hooves of horses reached their ears and both women went to the window, turned to the entrance, to see what was happening.

Three big black coaches, decorated with a ducal crown, were standing in line, while the servants of Lord Ellesmere rushed to take the trunks and help the women to get out of the vehicle.

“They are here.” Ellie could hear Peggy whisper.

Indeed, they were.

__________________

She liked Eleanor, Peggy thought, as she went down the stairs to join her husband and greet their family. She had something in her eyes that reminded Peggy of Aunt Minnie. A strength buried deep inside her, a strong desire to be the commander of her destiny. She would learn more about the girl as soon all the Grey’s were settled, but, as she gathered the few pieces of information from their last conversation, Peggy could start forming an image.

Eleanor still seemed to be a little taken aback by all the wealth of the Ransoms. That was a common reaction that even back in the future many peers would have as soon they entered the gates of the estate. Still, she seemed utterly mesmerized by the most mundane things and that made Peggy think that, maybe, just maybe, Eleanor was not a highborn or wealthy lady.

She had the right education, that’s true. Maybe, the daughter of a small businessman or a gentleman with no title. She was still trying to understand the way society worked in the 18th century, where some things were so subtle to the look that she would have to turn into fucking Sherlock Holmes to gather gossip in the court.

“Here you are!” William exclaimed, as she finally arrived at the large door by the entrance.

“You have to accept that for the next month, I will take longer to get to places.” She complained, amused, resting one hand in her belly. “Deep breaths and stay calm.”

“I need to talk to you.” He insisted, tapping the foot on the floor.

“Later, after we take all to the Pink Room. I’ve asked Eleanor to meet us there. Where is Adam?” She asked, watching Aunt Minnie leaving one carriage and raising a hand to greet her.

“I’m here. Unfortunately.” Adam whispered by her other side, looking miserable and tired.

“You look awful.”

“Thanks to your husband.”

“What did you do to him?”

“Can you please pay attention… I need to talk to you.” Her husband whispered in her ear, making her skin tingle with anticipation. But before she could turn to him and ask what did he want, a strong voice came from the steps.

“Adam Grey, that’s where you were hiding!” Hal basically screamed, walking towards the small group. “My dear, such a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard wonderful things.”

The duke was a sturdy, muscular man, even with old age. He had more wrinkles than normal, marking his face forever in a low brow, but his eyes, blue and devious, like Adam’s, were sparkling with joy.

“Your Grace, thank you for accepting our invitation.” Said Peggy, with all the grace she found over her last year as a countess.

“You can call me Uncle Hal. We are family, after all.” He said, moving to William. He didn’t say more than a phrase to his own son, missing for months, who stood there while he chatted with his cousin, pretending he didn’t exist.

Aunt Minnie, following behind, searched for her son’s hand and gave a little squeeze, before letting it go and following the line. Even Benjamin, with his wife and son, stood a little awkward in front of Adam, as they chatted boring stuff about the weather and the season in London.

It was clear that things needed to be said and discussed between family members. She only wished it was not in her house and so close to her childbirth.

Before it could get any weirder, if possible, Peggy decided to take charge of this mess. She filled her lungs to say anything, anything at all, that could catch their attention and lead them to somewhere they could be distracted by tea and cookies when she heard the clear and youthful voice of Lord John Grey right in front of her.

“William, Peggy. I’ve heard you are receiving old friends from the colonies in here. Where are they?”

Always a gentleman, she felt gratitude for the man saving her in his white horse of politeness.

“If you please, follow me.”

The strange party went behind her through the corridors towards the Pink Room, where she hoped Claire and Jaime could steer the conversation to more calm waters until they reached the eye of the tornado.

However, things never happened as Peggy hoped for. Standing by the window facing the old monastery, with her hand placed over the glass and her gaze fixed on the ancient construction, Eleanor MacDonnell whispered:

“Do you hear the bees?”


	17. A lady and the bees

_December, 1780_

There was no one in the Pink Room. Lady Ellesmere had said to her that she would be in the company of Mr. and Mrs. Fraser, the couple that came far from the other side of the world to help with her childbirth. Eleanor had even prepared the subjects in which she regarded as safe enough to talk with the two strangers, while the Lord and Lady of the house greeted their family.

While Adam remained far away from her.

Since they got caught by the tall Scottish, she hadn’t found the opportunity to talk with Adam. No, not talk. She had told him everything she wished for. She had told him her story, she had poured her heart to him, during those cold nights deep in Scotland.

She wanted him. She wanted the warmth of his body and his calming words. Ellie never thought that she would… need something from a man. And now… She needed Adam.

No, don’t get her wrong.

Ellie knew herself. She could manage, away from Adam’s gaze. She could live and… survive. However… There was something, deep and strong on the way both of them kept finding each other.

It was not unnatural. It was only…

Magical.

 _Oh, God._ She thought to herself, as she entered, aimlessly, inside the room. She stood too long listening to Calum’s gibberish about the ancient ways and the mythological creatures in Scotland.

And still… she believed him when he allowed her to escape from Lord Wallace.

And she traveled to a place, well, quite different from what she was used to.

Her fingers traced the pattern of a pillowcase, observing the paintings on the walls. Everything was brighter and more… lively. She could see all the small things that made life worth living represented on a simple drawing on the wall.

She had a picture in Glengarry.

It was so expensive. Her father had called for a man from Florence to draw her, as he thought the painters in England were terrible. The painter was a mere student but was paid his weight in gold.

He made her sit next to a window, with flowy gowns of brocade and thin veils over her hair. He wanted to take away her eyebrows and paint her face with a white serum, but she refused. If he was so good, he would represent her the way she was, with bright red eyebrows, pink cheeks, and her tartan over her shoulder.

It was a good job. An amazing job at the time. She remembered how he used shadows and light in his work, so different from the somber and plain images she had seen before. However, the woman represented was not her. It lacked depth. She did not had the sparkle in the eyes or the pout on the mouth.

She touched the wooden corner of the drawing where Lady Ellesmere was represented. She was there, even without colors, even with just the coal giving her the light and shadows needed. Ellie could see Lady Ellesmere smiling at her, almost as thinking about something wicked to say to the painter. Her fingers played with pearls and, behind her, a mirror reflecting Lord Ellesmere, only with his shirt and sheets of paper, sketching his own wife.

The look on his face was pure… What was that? She certainly wanted some of this sentiment over her.

And then… A sound.

A buzzing, so soft and gentle that she dismissed as something from her mind.

Ellie kept walking around the room, her fingers sliding through drawings, pillowcases, and books all over the place. And as she kept walking towards the three big windows by the end of the room, the sound grew louder.

More and more bees joined her, although she could not see the small bodies flying around her. She looked around, searching for the bumblebees, the tiny, chubby things flying against all odds with their tiny wings.

Nothing.

And then, a drum.

A call.

That made her look towards the windows and watch the figure of an old construction, almost as battered as Glengarry in this new time and place. Ruins that called for her, for the bees, that flew around her, buzzing in her ear in synchrony, making her pay attention to their natural dance.

Her hands flew to the ice-cold glass, impressed by how the windows vibrated with the drums, how her body responded to the buzzing, wanting to flee from the room, swarmed by the insects, towards the old palace, where the drums invited her to an old and beautiful ritual.

She needed to get out. She needed to let go of the buzzing and the drums.

And then, someone heard her, as the door was opened behind her and Lady Ellesmere was followed by her husband and an older version of Adam. And as they stared at each other, the only thing she could think of saying, as an invisible army of insects screamed in her ears was:

“Do you hear the bees?”

___________________

“I… I’m so sorry, dear.” Peggy answered, entering the room in a hurry and pulling Eleanor into her arms. “We have, indeed, a problem with those little beasts. I forgot about that. Let’s go to the Green Room, shall we?”

With the girl in her arms, she returned to the corridor, blinking to William, that took the lead and showed the way to their guests.

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

_Shit._

“I couldn’t see them.” Eleanor whispered, looking around, searching for the insects, while they entered the family chamber. Usually, Peggy would leave slippers around the room, cold tea near the windows, half-chewed biscuits in the corners. Thankfully, the maids had entered the room earlier and cleaned it before her guests could see the mayhem that took the lodgings every day.

“They are mere bumblebees, darling. Too tiny for anyone to see them. Harmless.” Peggy answered, sitting heavily on the couch, wishing the tea was ready.

“They must be a different kind from what we have in London.” Commented Auntie Minnie, sitting by Peggy’s side, in front of Ellie. “Unfortunately, our bees are louder and angrier. Thank God you met such nice and quieter insects, Miss…”

The silence in the room alerted Margareth of the awkwardness of the situation.

“Oh, how rude of me.” She cleaned her throat. “Lord Melton, Lady Melton, Lord Grey, Lady Grey, Lord John. Let me introduce you to Miss Eleanor MacDonnell, my guest.”

Heads were bowed in courtesy and kind words were said. Apparently, the small incident involving bees was soon forgotten thanks to the quick thought of Peggy ‘Sherlock Holmes’ Ransom.

Still, she could see other incident coming, as Uncle Hal’s eyes kept fixed in Adam, who orbited around Ellie like the moon revolved around the earth.

Quite romantic.

“MacDonnell, isn’t it?” Said Auntie Minnie, observing the strange interaction between her son and her husband. “Are you acquainted with Lord Glengarry? If I’m not mistaken, he is a MacDonnell as well.”

_Oh, no…_

This remark took Uncle Hal’s attention from his son to the young girl in front of him.

“Oh, yes. Glengarry. We’ve met sometime last year. I’ve known his father, as well, a rascal in all the worse senses.” He smiled, the blue eyes sparkling with something. “In fact, I can see a resemblance…”

“I…” Eleanor started to say, glancing at Peggy, that was tense, holding to dear life in her place, as she tried to communicate with her husband only with her eyes.

_Did you hear what she said? William. William? William!_

_Yes. Calm down. Yes. I was trying to say to you…_

_That was what you’re trying to say to me???_

_Yes! We have to do something!_

_Right now! We can’t let them know what we know._

“I… I’m not acquainted, milord.” Ellie answered, swallowing nervously.

“Are you sure? It is just that you…” Uncle Hal started to say, being interrupted by Adam:

“Blood relations in Scotland are often confusing, Father. Don’t you remember when we met Argyll? He is a Campbell and, apparently, every men, women, or child in his lands also share his last name. It is something they inherited from the clans, many years ago.” He paused to the stunned silence.

“So, you decided that Scottish ancestry is an enough interesting subject to discuss with your father, instead of, I don’t know, maybe telling him where you’ve been during the last few months.” The Duke growled, staring at his son.

“Hal…” Aunt Minnie warned him, raising one eyebrow.

Silence took over the room and Lady Grey, the wife of Benjamin, Adam’s brother, decided to say:

“But we interrupted you, Miss MacDonnell. You were telling us how you met Lady Ellesmere.”

Peggy choked with thin air, staring at William in panic.

_What do I say?_

_Nothing! They’ve asked her!_

“I… Well… I…”

“She is my apprentice.” A strong voice came from the corridor and a cloud of petticoats and curly hair came inside the room. “I’ve been called by Your Ladyship to assist with the birth. Mrs. Fraser, from North Carolina.”

God bless Claire Fraser’s heart. She was a savior.

________________________

“Claire!” Lord John Grey exclaimed, walking towards her and reaching for her hand. “James. How lovely to see both of you.”

Indeed. She learned to love Lord John Grey, not only for who he was but for what he did for her family. He was a great friend of Jamie, assuring he would survive those lonely and frightful years in prison. He was the best company for Bree when she was expecting, alone and scared, while her parents hunted down her husband.

He was the strength Claire needed when she thought Jamie had died. And she was so grateful for that.

Lord John Grey was not only a savior in all aspects, but he was the father of Jamie’s child and she learned to love William as her own. And by the time he married Peggy and the news of her pregnancy reached Fraser’s Ridge, she knew pretty well where she ought to go.

“How on earth you managed to put Fraser in a ship?” Lord John asked, after hugging his friends.

“Your daughter in law was very persuasive.” She smiled, walking towards a couch, being followed by Jamie, far behind.

“It was very kind of you to come from the colonies just for the birth.” Said Lady Minerva, kindness flowing in her bright blue eyes. “John told us how an experienced practitioner you are and I’m very grateful. Margareth is like a daughter, to me.”

That was a good woman.

“Don’t be rude, Harold. Greet William’s guests.”

Lord Harold’s eyes flashed towards her and Jamie’s. Claire felt her throat tightening, as his gaze stood over Jamie’s face for such a long time. For anyone that knew both of them, it was remarkable how they resembled each other. The shape and color of their eyes, the format of their cheeks… However, as the years passed, Jamie learned some tricks to fool inquiring eyes.

With a grown beard, more white than red, and glasses, the similarity would just be assumed to be a matter of coincidence. Hal knew about the truth of William’s parentage and if he kept staring at the young earl for too long… Everyone in the room would soon learn as well.

“Mrs. Fraser…” He said, slowly. “How nice to see you again.”

“Oh! You have met the Fraser’s in the colonies, Hal dear?” Lady Minerva asked, a strange sparkle in her eyes shining against the afternoon light.

“Yes. Mrs. Fraser treated me when I was… out of breath.”

“Oh, Mrs. Fraser! I have even more reasons to be grateful to you, then. I hope both you and Mr. Fraser are staying for the Season. I would love to receive you in our London house.” Lady Minerva confirmed, smiling warmly.

“Unfortunately, we are staying only until January.” Claire answered, trying to remember from her ancient English lessons when was the Season for Jane Austen. “We have to go back to our home.”

“I’m sure Miss MacDonnell will want to stay longer, so to visit her family in Scotland.” She continued and, seeing the awkward silence the room was in, continued: “I just assumed… considering the strong accent… that you had family here, dear…”

“Miss MacDonnell is our ward.” Jamie answered, taking charge of the situation before it spiraled out of control. “We took her in our custody when she lost her parents during the passage.”

Considering what they had heard behind the door, little Miss MacDonnell had indeed gone through a journey. Claire knew that she was late to make company to the young girl and she had no business on going behind doors with her husband of nearly fifty years.

However… He was thrilled to see his old friends again, being back in England, so close to his ancient land… And there was William, nearly a father himself and a heavily pregnant Margareth, looking so… beautiful and round…

So, she went into the room with him, enjoying his hands over her thighs like she was a young bride all over again. Until she heard a commotion behind the door, footsteps getting louder and louder, that prompted her to stop whatever she was doing with Jamie and opening a small crack in the door, just enough for her to know when to escape.

And then… She heard about the bees. And Claire suddenly knew.

Because she had heard them herself, multiples times before, back in the future, in _Craig Na Dun_ , just before she traveled to the past and her husband’s arms.

And there she was, looking terrified and excited at the same time, a new time traveler, landing once again amongst the Frasers, the Greys and the Ransoms. Similarly to when she jumped on the 18th century looking lost and pissed, Margareth came from the 21st century looking for the earl who went straight into battle and, now, they had Eleanor, who landed straight into Adam’s arms.

She had no one to take care of her in the new land. Claire had found protection under the Mackenzie clan and Margareth found safety into Lady Minerva’s wings. And, right now, it was very clear who would help Eleanor to adjust to this new world.

“Indeed.” Answered Claire. “She is our protégé and we care for her. Always.”


	18. A lady in cross-fire

_December 1780_

He thought nothing could be worse than the meeting with his father that morning. But, as usual, Adam was mistaken. As he stood very quiet during dinner, he knew, for sure, that things could get a lot worse.

And fast.

His mother and Amaranthus had managed to control his father’s temper in front of the Ransom’s and the Fraser’s. And yet, Harold Grey stood in that incredibly green room like the mountain lions he met back in the colonies. He was calm, his piercing blue eyes fixed in Adam, following every move, waiting for the right moment where the young man would stumble and the old beast would snap his neck.

And, right now, Harold had the same look in his eyes.

Adam glanced at Ellie, sitting like the lady she was, her back straight and eyes turned to the food being served. He hadn’t time to speak or even get closer to her. He had spent the whole evening trying to escape his parent’s questioning, while James Fraser kept his guard by the girl like a freaking dog.

“Do you enjoy medicine, my dear?” His mother asked Ellie, who raised her eyes from her plate for the first time during dinner and stared at the older woman, stunned.

“I… Yes. A very… interesting… subject.” She chose to answer, keeping herself in a safe zone. For most of the dinner, Mrs. Fraser and Peggy managed to control the conversation and turn all the attention to themselves. However, Adam knew his mother pretty well. She liked new, shiny things. Curiosity was her Achilles’ heel.

“I would never be able to take care of an injury.” His mother continued, smiling at Amaranthus. “I get sick very easily.”

“Things are quite different back in the colonies, Your Grace.” His sister-in-law answered, glancing at him with a half-smile. “Life is too hard for us to get sick in any matter. The wilderness makes us stronger. Don’t you agree, Miss MacDonnell?”

Ellie looked surprised and thought for a second.

“Well, yes. I was raised like that, back in Scotland. I… I had to take care of myself. In the beginning… things are hard. You go to sleep sore as a newborn foal and you find bruises all around your body. However… Your body gets stronger than ever. And your mind too.” She paused, realizing she had spoken too much, leading to an awkward silence. He wished he could take her away from the room in his arms.

“I disagree with you, Amaranthus dear.” Adam could hear the words drip from Hal’s mouth.

_Oh, God._

“I believe that some people don’t learn a thing with the wilderness and go back home like the same, frugal, idiot self.” He continued.

“And I believe it’s time for the women to go to the library and leave the man to their conversation.” Peggy tried to save the situation, laughing a very fake laugh while pulling up her round self, forcing all the men to get up as well, a sign of courtesy.

He watched as the petticoats ruffled around the wooden table, looks were exchanged and Ellies gaze fixed in his for a split of second, with an order: _Come get me._

“Adam, you should follow the ladies.”

He released his gaze from Ellie’s and looked directly at his father, who has spoken.

“Father, please…” Ben said from his side, urging the man to stay quiet.

“No, he needs to hear it.” Hal stopped, smiling, and placing a hand over the table. “He’s been avoiding me all afternoon and using an army of friends to save him. Well, for me, that’s not a men’s way to deal with his problems.”

“Harold…” His mother warned her husband, looking pale under the candlelight.

“No, in fact, he hasn’t been a man for a while now. A man would face his problems. A man, a gentleman, would find a job and be responsible, finally, for an aspect of his life.” He laughed, bitterly. “But not Adam. He prefers to vanish for months and reaper with fine clothes, taking advantage of his cousin’s good heart, who should put him out before he starts to grow roots.”

“Your Grace, I believe we should take this conversation…” Peggy tried, being interrupted by the duke.

“No, milady. He will hear right now. If he doesn’t have the courage to hear the truth…”

“You speak of courage!” Adam blurted, pointing one finger to his father. “YOU speak of courage but it was me who came back from war to take the place of the son you thought you had lost. When you and mother were crumbling down with grief, it was me, Adam, who took care of the lawyers, administrators, farmers, and tenants. It was me who went to each property, to make sure it was producing as planned, while you wept for the son you had lost. The brother I had lost.”

No one dared to speak.

“I couldn’t mourn my best friend. I had to be strong, all by myself, doing something that I was not raised to do, while the world continued to turn and life moved on. And when Ben returned from the dead, with a wife and child, you never thought about poor, old Adam.” He paused, slapping the table with his open hand. “No one ever thought about me, who was caring for so long a burden that was not mine. It was simply taken from my shoulders and handled to the heir once more. I didn’t even get acknowledgment for what I did.”

The table shook with each slap.

“AND YOU TALK ABOUT COURAGE.” Adam paused, feeling the ribbon holding together his hair falling over his shoulders.

“DON’T YOU DARE…” Hal answered back, being interrupted by his anguished son.

“I DARE!” He screamed. “I dare because I don’t care anymore, Father. I’m tired of this, I’m tired of you.”

Hal tried to answer back but his words were caught in a broken syllable. All the heads turned to him, red from the scalp to his neck, with one hand over his chest, fighting to breathe.

_______________________

“He will be fine.” Whispered Mrs. Fraser, as she fluffed Lord Pardloe’s pillows and adjusted his covers. Lady Pardloe was sitting next to him, a hand stroking his cheek, looking worried and tired. “The concoction is ready, in case he needs it. I’ve shown you how to do it but if you need anything just ask for me.”

The noblewoman nodded, her eyes heavy.

“Thank you, Mrs. Fraser.” She answered, taking her hands from the duke for once and wiping a tear from her own cheek. “And you too, Miss MacDonnell. You’re turning into a quiet good healer.”

Eleanor blushed heavily and passed her hands over her skirts. She acted without thinking, truth to be told. When the duke turned purple and collapsed on the ground, she was right next to him and, quickly, she was kneeling by his side, taking his torso in her arms and helping him to sit straight.

She didn’t really know what she was doing but every time a soldier was hit in the chest or the throat and lost his breath during training, the captain would make sure the man in question was sitting straight and had his mouth and nose cleared. So, her only option was to do that and wait for further instructions.

Mrs. Fraser was soon by her side, checking things she didn’t understand all over his body. She could hear faint cries and screams, someone was calling for his father over and over again. She heard the healer asking for help and soon the duke was being taken away from her arms, towards the adjacent room, while Mr. Fraser ran to get her healer bag.

“I… I did nothing, milady.” Ellie answered, shyly. She only followed Mrs. Fraser’s instructions. She boiled water over the fireplace and prepared the herbs the healer was shouting to her. She held Lord Pardloe while Mrs. Fraser helped him to breathe the fumes from the concoction and she held his hand while he got better. She helped to move him to his quarters, always followed by the worried gaze and anxious hands of his wife. “I merely followed Mrs. Fraser.”

The Duchess took her chin against her gentle digits and smiled warmly.

“You have an exquisite gem in your physician's suitcase, Mrs. Fraser.” Said the old lady. “She would be a success in any ballroom in London, with the sharp mind, the green eyes and the red hair.”

“Thank you, milady.” Ellie blurted, feeling her heartbeat against the woman’s fingers.

“It is a pity that you’re not staying for the Season.” She paused, letting Ellie go and turning to Mrs. Fraser. “And it is also a pity that you caught my husband so… uncontrolled. Usually, he is a gentleman in every way, but Adam… Well… He was always the black sheep of the family.”

Ellie's ears sharpened to this little revelation and she waited, anxiously, for more.

“John told me that you helped find Benjamin, back in the Colonies.” She carried on, turning to the fireplace. “So, you understand that we spend a period of time believing he was dead. Do you have children, Mrs. Fraser?”

“Yes.” The healer answered, taking off the apron. “A daughter. Brianna. She is married and has two children herself. A boy and a girl.”

“I hope you never find yourself in the same position as I was put on. However, the mere thought of losing a child is almost unbearable, don’t you think?” She turned to the man, laying peacefully under cotton sheets.

“I would not be able to carry on, milady.” Answered Mrs. Fraser and Ellie looked at her, surprised by the depth of her voice.

“So, you can imagine, how desperate, broken, we both were. Ben was my first baby, my handsome blue-eyed boy. And he had vanished across the sea. Hal and John were trying to find him, while I was left all alone in London. My boys, they were all in the army, and Dottie, my sweet girl, had married a quacker.” She paused, sitting by the duke’s side. “But Adam returned. He took care of me when I needed him the most. He took care of our family, of our title, of our lands and our honor.”

Her voice broke.

“It was all so lovely. William married Margareth, waiting for their first child, Adam gleaming sunlight and Ben… Ben was alive. Could you imagine? Not only alive but with a wife and a baby. I thought I would never be sad anymore. I had my share of misery, already. And then, some weeks after Ben was back as the heir… Adam vanished.”

It was so strange, to hear the life of Adam being told by a third party.

“He thinks that we didn’t care. He truly thinks that we are not grateful for him or that we don’t love him. But we do, Mrs. Fraser, we do love him so much. It was like losing my son all over again. No one knew where he was if he was dead or alive, even if he was in the country or not. No one from his battalion knew about his whereabouts and he didn’t keep in touch with his friends in London.” She watched her husband. “Hal was crazy with worry. He is still worried, you see. Is not anger that he feels. He just lashes out because he loves Adam so much and this is his way of showing it.”

Ellie couldn’t stand to be quiet any longer.

“Hell is full of good wishes, milady.” She blurted, making the duchess turned to her. “The duke may be worried about his son, but he shows it in a way that can be harmful. My father… many would usually say that he cared about me. I don’t dare to say he loved me, because it is not true. But I do believe that he cared, in a twisted way, about me and showed through actions that only hurt my feelings.”

A tear dropped from Lady Minerva’s bright, blue eyes.

“If His Lordship would talk to him… Perhaps…”

The woman shook her head.

“He would never, my dear. Men, especially those raised to greatness, are afraid of showing weakness. And what is a greater weakness than love, may I ask?” She had a sad smile on her face. “I pray to God that things may settle, but I fear both of them will part ways estranged and will never speak with one another again.”

__________________

He was staring at his glass, finally empty, when he heard a sound coming from the door. He had been left alone, with only his ghosts for company, for what seemed to be hours. At first, Ben and his uncle John shared his anguish, walking up and down the room, accompanied by James Fraser's faithful gaze.

However, the hours went by and one by one, they left Adam all alone. This gave him time to think about what had happened, what he wished things turned differently, and how he could manage to change the facts.

Still, he couldn’t think of a single rational thought, too stunned by the constant flux of alcohol. At least, he could thank William for stocking the best brandy in the country in his library.

A step cracking the wooden floor. It was like Adam had been raised from the stupor he had himself in, realizing it was the middle of the night, the house was deadly quiet and he was still drinking, all alone, in the library.

“Leave me alone, William...” He blurted and a candle appeared behind the door, followed by a young body adorned with a white nightgown.

“I searched all over for you.” Ellie said, placing the candlestick over the shelf near the door. “I was worried.”

“Eleanor…” He tried to say and something weird left his mouth. “What are you doing here?”

He had spent all night thinking about her. Or, at least, half of the night. His thoughts were a confusion of faces and movements, merging into one another or splinting they all apart.

He missed her. He missed her body, he missed her voice. He even missed the way she would scold him for every little thing he did. He spent the last day in Ellesmere Park after her or orbiting around her, prepared to throw himself over her in any time soon.

And, right now…

“I couldn’t sleep. I… I needed to see you.” She said, breaking the silence. “You didn’t come to see your father.”

“He wouldn’t want to see me…” He mumbled, taking another sip from his glass. “How is he, by the way?”

“No one told you?” She asked and when he shook his head in denial, she answered: “He is alright, Adam. Tired, a bit sore, but will be well, thanks to Mrs. Fraser.”

He let the air slip from his chest and the burden that was bothering him being raised from his shoulders.

“Oh, God.”

When did his hands start shaking?

“There is no need to worry right now.” She said, walking to him and kneeling on the floor by his side. “You should rest.”

He had been truly worried. He and his father always had a complicated relationship, since he was old enough to question the duke’s authority. However, Hal spent an awful lot of time busy with the government of the colonies, and, in the army, Adam had the freedom to do whatever he pleased.

Which changed drastically within the last couple of months and powered the anger and ressentiment buried deep within their cores. Emotions that were forgotten by the young Grey as soon he watched his father’s face getting purple by the time he didn’t receive air in his lungs.

He thought he was going to lose him. With the duke in Ellie’s arms, lips as blue as the winter sky, he surely assumed that was the last breath of Harold Grey and by the morning, Benjamin would not be Viscount Grey anymore.

He would be Duke of Pardloe and his mother would be the widowed duchess.

“I cannot, Ellie. Not now. Not after I nearly killed my father.”

And that was the truth, wasn’t it? He angered his father so much, that he lost his breath. Adam was the reason the duke had lost his temper. If it was not for Adam, they would have had a wonderful dinner, followed by a Port for the gentleman and tea for the ladies.

“You did not such thing, Adam Grey.” She scolded him. “Mrs. Fraser told me that he had this condition that, when stressed or anxious, would prevent the air to flow to his chest. You did nothing.”

“Yes, I did. I got him stressed because I answered him back, instead of being a good son and accepting his reprimand with grace and shame.” He raised his head only enough to see her eyes.

“If you did that, you would be feeling miserable.” She tried to cheer him up, with no avail.

“I still feel miserable.” He answered, taking her cheek in his hands. “That is why I fled, you see. I was feeling miserable, forgotten by my own family. I needed… more.”

And he had found that. He had found Ellie, beyond the far, green woods of Scotland. With her emerald eyes and unruly strawberry blond hair. She occupied his mind and his body.

She occupied his heart.

And for once, he thought that would be enough. He knew he couldn’t give her a proper marriage, with a proper home and proper children, living the proper life of a lady and entertaining the proper friends of a member of the gentry.

At least, he could give himself, flawed and wrong in every way she was perfect and right. He would give her jewelry, a nice home in London, with a housekeeper, a maid, and a cook. He could afford her a carriage, with beautiful black horses and as many dresses she wanted.

She would be his mistress and live like a queen.

Eleanor smiled to him, feeling her warmth against his body, letting the sparkles fly through the path he was drawing in her back. She met his lips halfway through and melted against his body. Ellie let his hands pull her to his lap, adjusting her corners to his valleys, beating with his own heartbeat. She tasted of cheese, bread, and wine, sweet and salty in his tongue and so, so tempting.

And yet… He knew that things had changed the moment he saw his father collapsing on the floor. It didn’t matter how much he longed for her or how much he wanted to have her by his side every night.

Adam realized that every little thing he touched was spoiled. And that was not the life he wanted for Ellie.

So, he would let her go. And it would break his heart.


	19. A lady among ruins

_December, 1780_

“You look much better, Your Grace. However… I do not like the wheezing coming from your chest.” Said Mrs. Fraser, pulling down the duke’s shirt and readjusting the pillows behind him.

He coughed for several minutes, a heavy sound that filled the entire room.

“Do you believe it could be lung fever, ma’am?” Said Lady Grey, by the side of her mother in law, who held tightly to a handkerchief.

“I hope not. Perhaps a cold, which got a bit worse due to the asthma attack.” The lady said, checking a vial and pouring it over hot water. “I’ll keep a look over His Grace lungs and, meanwhile, we will keep inhaling the concoction, to help him get the full amount of air needed.”

“Do we really have to keep this… potion?” The duke asked, with difficulty, coughing once more. “It smells like shit.”

“You will do as Mrs. Fraser says, Hal.” Lady Minerva answered, taking the solution in her hands and walking to her husband. “Meanwhile, let us distract you from the stench, what about that?”

The duke didn’t have enough time to answer or try to fight back his strong willed wife. He only had to accept the moment she threw over his head a sheet, making sure that the vapor coming from the solution would reach his lungs.

And as Mrs. Fraser kept her instruments in her small, healer, chest, Lord John started to read the newspaper that they had brought from London, while Lady Grey and her husband shared tea and biscuits.

The muffled sound of conversation and the comfortable atmosphere eased Ellie’s heart a bit. She had been worried by her last conversation with Adam that previous night, where she found him drunk and so, so sad. With a motion of her head, Mrs. Fraser showed to Ellie she was prepared to leave.

They left the home of the Grey’s for the day, which brought distress in Ellie’s heart. She liked the atmosphere, the way Lord John’s words involved each member of the family, the clatter of cups and little spoons, the fire crackling on the fireplace, Lady Minerva soft breathing while helping her husband.

“I believe the Greys will not leave this room for a while.” Claire commented as they got down the stairs.

“Except for Adam.” Eleanor whispered, thinking of the man she left in the library, unwilling to follow her to her room, where she would love him like she thought a man should be loved.

“I do not know Adam very well, but for what I gather from the Greys, they are a very strong-willed bunch.” Claire announced, handling her chest to a servant waiting by the end of the stairs. “And it will be very difficult for both of them to get down their high horses and talk with each other like proper, civilized, human beings.”

As she followed the older woman to the hall, her mind twirled around the great mystery Adam Grey was. He had taken a part in her wonderful, fascinating journey, that made it even more wonderful. She still didn’t quite understand the customs and clothes. She was amazed by little things, such as the quality of the fabric adorning her bed, the comfort of the pillows she laid her head every day, the smoothness of her stockings, the buttons in her dress.

It was the greatness of the carriages, the books, so small, printed with incredible stories. The newspapers, that she learned about, with tales from far away, printed almost every day and distributed around the kingdom. She loved the cups, so delicate and small, made from clay, painted with care and detail. The golden chandeliers that hanged from the high ceilings, the glass that protected the windows from rain and cold but let the sunshine sparkle through it.

And among those brilliant things, stood Adam Grey, her knight, who irate her daily but who showed her how it was lovely to be properly wanted. Cared for. And she dared even to say… loved. She learned about her love for Adam the moment she opened that door and saw him alone over that large library. Her heart ached and she was sure she would move heaven and earth to bring joy to that man.

“Dear?” Mrs. Fraser voice called by her side, pulling Ellie from deep thoughts.

“I never thanked you or Mr. Fraser for vouching for me, even though both you and your husband hardly know my full story.” She mumbled, anxiously. “Especially after Mr. Fraser caught me… us… in such a compromising position.”

“You have nothing to thank for.” She said, taking her hand. “It was the right thing to do. And, perhaps, you could help me understand your journey a little bit.”

The healer asked for their capes from a servant nearby and turned to see the young lady looking anxious.

“I… Mrs. Fraser. I... The truth is too complicated.” She whispered, watching around so to be sure the servants were not paying attention to their conversation. “It’s enough to say that I found myself in an unwilling marriage and I escaped, meeting Adam soon after.”

The woman smiled at the girl, her golden eyes melting like honey on its orbits.

“However, Miss MacDonnell, I feel you’re omitting part of the truth. Don’t you worry about that. Your secret will be well taken care of. I promise.”

One step.

“Mrs. Fraser, if may I ask…” Eleanor said, making the woman stop once more. “How do you know I’m not telling everything? We hardly know each other and all the others seem to be pretty content with what they were told.”

Slowly, Claire’s head turned around, as if thinking of the right way to answer that question in the middle of the foyer. Her moment of silence prompted Ellie to walk towards the woman, anxiously. Mrs. Fraser stretched her hand to the girl, holding it tightly, as she answered.

“You heard the bees, my dear. This changes everything.”

__________________

The snow was falling heavily that morning. The sky was grey, the soft particles falling from it in swirls and twists, gentle and beautiful like a concert. Claire stretched her hand towards the flakes and felt the moisture against her gloved hand. She would often remember, in days like that, of the first time she went to the Royal Opera House, with Frank, when they were only courting each other.

She had even seen the king, the one who abdicated shortly after, sitting behind them in the imperial box, surrounded by pretentious nobles and the American divorcee that would often be by his side. She didn’t mind, at the time, about historical gossip being played in front of her eyes. She was only nineteen years old and in love. Claire Beauchamp only cared about Frank’s hands holding hers and the beautiful movements of the ballerinas waltzing the swan dance.

Claire looked behind, to where Lady Eleanor was closing her cape, pushing the corners to cover all her body. Her beautiful pale skin was glowing under the gloomy morning and her cheeks were already flushed due to the cold. She had incredibly green eyes, that stared at the good doctor while she ran to keep up with her own rhythm.

She had known, since the morning before, that she needed to talk with the girl. The signs were clear and her story was too vague. Claire smiled, as she remembered how her story was quite very similar, following the instructions her own husband in the army followed: always stick to the truth. It was supposed to work fine, if she could sustain a lie for long enough. Her face denounced her instantly and this was enough trouble for half a lifetime.

Margareth wanted to be with them. As a time-traveler herself, she wanted to comfort the girl, who was so close to her own age, in this moment of distress. They could remember how nerve-wracking was when they finally learned about the truth of their voyage. However, the discussion between Adam and Hal made the countess feel unwell during the night. and, for the earl’s peace of mind, Claire thought it would be best for the girl to stay in bed for a day.

She didn’t discuss her plans with her husband. Claire knew she was playing with fire by not disclosing her intentions, but she knew very well how men, especially men from the 18th century, could be tiresome. Jamie and William were not very prone to conversation and only had one option for Adam’s and Eleanor’s conundrum: marriage.

Considering that she had a failed marriage before, Claire was an expert when affirming that forcing a bond upon a couple, for the whole entirety of their lives, could end very badly. Love, passion, and sexual tension were three different things, which not necessarily went together and that was fine. Still, the society during Georgian times would, often, overrule this understanding and care only for the morality of things.

Well, Claire preferred to talk with Eleanor first. Try to understand her whole story and what happened between the girl and Adam. Only after that, her options would be discussed and only with the presence of the other party involved. And if they figure out that they should be married, well, she would bless the union, for the continuous joy of William and Jamie.

“Where are we going to, Mrs. Fraser?” Eleanor asked after they stayed quiet for a long time.

There was only one place that was fit for the conversation they were going to have: the ruins, far behind the tree line, deep into the woods. They were part of an old monastery, abandoned since the Tudors when King Henry dismantled abbeys and convents and put the religious men to run with fear. Once protected by the good earl of Ellesmere, now they had nothing and the only thing left for the old patron was a pile of old rocks.

However, contrary to popular belief, the stones guarded an ancient secret. The monastery was built over a _henge_ , a stone formation arranged by the celts when the island was still wild and free. The old religion was repressed, but their old symbols still held importance, which prompted the Catholics to build their church over it. The power was still there, hidden below the dirt, but powerful enough to bring its rightful countess through the ages.

“I can hear them again.” She whispered as they got closer to the site. “Lady Ellesmere said that they had an infestation but… Bees in December, so active… Is quite weird, isn’t it?”

Claire could barely hear them. The stones, after all, didn’t call for her. She had made peace with her past, her present, and her future, as she decided to be with her husband. They had no reason to take her on a new adventure and she was too old for this anyway.

“They are not bees, Eleanor.” She said, taking them both to the front yard.

“What else could they be, if not bees?” She gulped, walking too close to the stones.

“It is the monastery.” She said, startling Ellie and making her jump two steps back, getting far away from the walls. “Their stones are calling you like they did before.”

“I do not know what you’re talking about.” She said, defensively.

“I understand your fear, my dear. Once I felt the same.” Claire answered, taking Ellie’s hands in hers and showing them to a dead trunk by the side of the construction, covered in snow. “Once I heard the calling and went through the stones. And I found myself in a far different place, with far different manners.”

“Mrs. Fraser, truly…”

“I was born on October 20, 1918, in London. My parents died in a car accident and I met my first husband just before the war. The Second World War.” She decided to blurt out, hoping for the best. “And Margareth… She was born on March 17, 1999, in London. She was a college student, majoring in English.”

Eleanor was quiet by her side, staring at the rocks who kept calling her.

“And you, Eleanor MacDonnell? When did you come from? Have you come from the fifties, with your poodle skirts and anklets? Or the sixties, fighting for Scottish freedom in mini-skirts?”

“I…I do not understand…” Eleanor mumbled, her eyes darting between her and the buzzing stones.

“It is difficult in the beginning. I thought I was in a reenactment and Margareth… She thought she was dead.” Claire laughed, remembering her first conversation with the countess, how they were delighted to find each other in that chaotic moment. “But you will…”

“Mrs. Fraser, I truly do not know what you’re talking about. Poodle skirts, anklets, Scottish freedom, and mini-skirts. Last I’ve heard, we are free. Thanks to Robert Bruce.” She paused. “Or maybe not, considering that he fought alongside William Wallace and made the Wallace clan rise to alarming levels.”

Claire waited, as it was best. She waited for the moment the girl would start talking, as no one could deal with such a heavy burden for so long without spilling the beans. And she was going to be right there, comforting her and making sure her secret would be well kept.

“I don’t know when I was born. They said it was Summer by the time my mom felt the first pain, but they couldn’t say for sure. I was only a girl. No one cared.” She paused, taking a strand of hair from her face. “The only thing I know is that I was born in the year of our Lord, 1430.”

____________________

Eleanor held her breath and waited. The last time she disclosed her secret was to Adam, who still didn’t believe her. Even Ellie herself could hardly believe what she has been through, but the signs were very clear.

“You’re the first, you know.” Mrs. Fraser said, slowly, almost muffled by the snow falling around her. “To travel to the future.”

Ellie released the air she was holding in her throat and felt the heavy burden over her shoulders be released to the cold wind.

“Do you believe me?” She asked, watching the woman with hazel eyes.

“My dear, of course, I believe you.” The healer answered, smiling. “I’ve heard the calling of the stones and I know how confusing and frightful it is, to be alone in a world you don’t quite understand.”

“Adam didn’t believe me.” Eleanor mumbled, feeling the cold weather creeping in her hands. “Do your husband know?”

“He does. Do not condemn Adam, as it must be confusing for him to accept something so… magical. Jamie wasn’t truly sure about my story, but we were married and very in love by the time I revealed the truth.” She paused. “And William, he was so shocked and hurt, that he scared Margareth and she ran away, fearing that he would lock her away. But now… They are married, happy, and waiting for their first child. Things often work out.”

It was getting colder and colder, as the snow fell over their heads. They should go back to the palace, but Ellie needed to say. She needed to talk and tell everything that was stuck in her heart.

She had found her equal, her truest friend.

“I met Adam because I tried to steal his horse.” She murmured, watching the vapor leave her mouth. “I was running away from my husband. No, he was not my husband. Lord Wallace married me, but he never visited my bed. He is incredibly old and rude, but everyone fears him, because of the power and wealth of his family.”

The only sound was the wind.

“He asked for my hand in marriage. It would turn the MacDonnells into one of the most powerful families in Scotland and one of the richest too. In return… I would give him immortality.” Ellie laughed, realizing how bizarre it was. “He was famous for meddling with the occult and thought that I had magical blood, a blood that could attract unicorns, from which he would drink their blood and live forever.”

“Oh, God.” Mrs. Fraser whispered.

“I know. I… He was clearly sick. Very, very sick. Maybe, he was desperate. I will never be sure, now. However, I dreaded to be used as a pawn in his lunacy and I feared what would be of myself when no unicorn appeared to be captured.” She remembered those last days when she was praying for a miracle. “So, Callum, my younger brother, taught me what I should do when we get to the stones in _Craigh Na Dun_. What I should say, as the sun set in front of me. And what I should do after. I had to go straight back to Glengarry, our home. I would not need to worry about Lord Wallace and what he would do to our family. I would be safe.”

She paused, realizing what was the true meaning of Callum’s words.

“Do you think he knew?” Mrs. Fraser asked, rubbing her hands against Ellie’s, sharing her heat.

“That he would send me to the future?” Ellie furrowed her brow. “Perhaps. Callum was studying the old ways, the old magic, and the old Gods worshiped by the Celts. Thinking about it… Maybe he knew. He knew that I had no other option. If I escaped Lord Wallace, our clans would begin a war. If I killed him, I would be a pariah. They would have to banish me from our lands and no other clan would accept me. Maybe… The voyage was my only option. My only opportunity to live a happy life.”

“Was he successful?” Mrs. Fraser asked, her voice shaking. “Are you happy, Eleanor?”

“We should go inside. It is too cold.” She tried to move, get away from the cold, the stones and the bees, but Mrs. Fraser insisted, pulling her closer.

“Please. Just tell me.”

Ellie didn’t need to think too much about it.

“I… Yes. I miss my brothers. I miss Glengarry, the soldiers, the servants. My room.” She smiled. “But I found Adam. We did not intend what happened, but we found each other. He was in pain and I was lost. He decided to bring me to Glengarry, to find my siblings and be with my family once more and, instead… We bonded. I believe you understand this feeling as well.”

Mrs. Fraser smiled warmly, getting up from the old trunk and taking Ellie back to the mansion.

“I do. I also left family. Not one, but two times. The first time it was my first husband who was left behind. The second… My daughter and my best friend. And yet… I would do it all over again.”

Ellie nodded, watching the mansion getting closer to them, with promises of warm rooms, crippling fires, and hot tea.

“It is possible to go back, then?”

“Yes.” The healer answered, in a low voice. “Both me and Margareth traveled back to our proper time and yet… we all returned. There is something about the powerful stones that are more than just coincidence or accident. They are fate.”

Images of the first time Ellie met Adam popped in her mind, the way they fought on the dirt and she almost won. She remembered when Adam decided that he would take her back to the family, the way he would talk to her during the night, how he dreamt about terrible and vivid things.

How he rescued her in Glengarry, how he protected her body with his own, from rain, wind, dirt, and fear. The kiss, the very first kiss, while her lips were still wet from the water and she wanted to surrender herself to him right there. Even that long night, where he admitted he couldn’t give to her what she wanted and deserved, and still… he needed her more than anything.

The same way she wanted him.

“I don’t want to go back.” Ellie whispered. “I want to stay. With him.”

They were in the middle of the garden when Mrs. Fraser turned to her and hugged, bringing sweet smells to her nose and the comfort of a mother in her arms.

“Welcome to your new home, Eleanor.”


	20. A lady with prospects

_December, 1780_

He hasn’t seen Ellie the day before. The hangover that filled his brain was too heavy to be lifted and he was left alone to commiserate in his misery by all the members of his family.

Adam would not know what they must have said to her, as Ellie remained far away from his reach as well. Maybe James Fraser was still maintaining his guard over her or Peggy was making the girl too occupied around baby-related aspects.

And yet, she knocked later that night, when the house was quiet and not a single servant was watching the corridors. He shouldn’t have let her take him back to his room, the other day when he was too drunk to even accept her invitation to her own chamber.

She needed to stay far away from him.

And yet. She knocked, whispering his name in the dead of the night. He pretended to not listen to her. He just stood very still, while she tried to get his attention until she gave up and returned to her chamber.

And even after that, he could not find the strength to sleep.

He woke up with the sun and went to breakfast as fast as he could get dressed. He couldn’t claim sickness for too long, or he would receive a visit from Mrs. Fraser, the physician in charge. He also couldn’t get down to have breakfast with everyone, as he would have to face his brother, his mother, Uncle John, William…

And Ellie.

He had made his decision. She would have to go to the colonies with the Frasers. But that didn’t mean that he would have to find this pleasant. That his heart wouldn’t ache with every heartbeat, knowing that she would be sailing to another country by January.

“It is for her own sake.” He whispered, adjusting a tile over the roof.

“Mother would say that you’re awfully far from the ground for a second son.” A voice shouted from below, to Adam’s terror.

“She shouldn’t care about that.” He answered back, poking his head slowly from the corner of the roof. “She already has an heir and a spare. Henry and I are useless, now.”

“You say that like you don’t know your own mother.” Ben answered, sitting on the edge of the window below. “Like she wouldn’t be worried about our safety until we are terribly old and tired.”

“And even then, she would be roaming around the house like a ghost, closing the windows so her boys wouldn’t catch a cold.” They smiled, for the first time, sharing the memories of childhood. “You should get off the edge, Ben. It is awfully high for a viscount to fall.”

“Well, I will only leave my spot when you leave as well.” He answered, smiling, taping on the corner of the window.

“I have a job to do.” Adam answered, turning back to the tile he was adjusting to cover a hole that had appeared during the snowstorm last night.

“Actually, no, you don’t.” Ben shouted back. “William has an administrator to care for this type of errands and even the man would not rearrange the tiles by himself.”

“The snow was falling over the liner and was melting. It could cause an infiltration and, if not taken care of, it could spoil the wooden ceiling and William would have to change the entirety of it.” Adam justified. “The servants were complaining and I knew I could do something to help them.”

There it was. The silence. It allowed Adam to finish the repair and access that it would not break again. As he was preparing to leave, imagining that Ben just got bored of waiting and hearing his technical explanations, he heard, again:

“So, you prefer preventing our cousin, a rich earl, from losing a few pounds by repairing his roof, all by yourself, while there is a lovely girl downstairs asking of your whereabouts?”

A chill in his spine was all it took. Adam almost fell from the roof, while he was trying to make his legs work, to take him down from the surface, back to the window.

“Marriage turned you into a romantic, Ben.”

“I have eyes, Adam.” He said, helping the brother to pass his legs back to the room. “And a debutant is not the most subtle one when showing her feelings, is she?”

No, she was not subtle. Ellie’s eyes were always fixed on his, while her body moved in sync with his own. It would be foolish to say that he didn’t show it, as well. Stay far away from her was a mistake and a pain, with his mind commanding him to find her quickly and lock themselves in a room.

“Mother does like her.”

“Oh, God.” Adam complained, turning to the door, with his tool kit in hand. “Marriage turned you into a romantic and a matchmaker.”

“I’m just saying…” He paused, as Adam turned back to him. “She seems to be very sweet. Well educated, with good manners. Mother clearly thinks highly of her, as does Mrs. Fraser… And she has been very kind to Father. Which is not very easy.”

Harold was the opposite of an easy person.

“That’s not why you came to find me in the roof, was it, Ben?” Adam asked, opening the door and walking to the corridor. “To talk about some Scottish girl.”

He smiled, shyly, burying his hands in his pockets.

“Not really… Well, maybe a little, just because she seems to be so smitten by you.” He paused, taping his shoe on the floor. “You need to talk to Father, Adam. He is not well and… maybe… if you just talk to him…”

“I have nothing to say to him.”

“Please, Adam. It is not like he is going to bite you…”

“Leave me alone.”

_________________

“Great news: the baby is getting ready.” Said Mrs. Fraser, pulling the covers over Lady Ellesmere round belly. “His head is perfectly fixed in the cervix and you probably noticed that he is not really moving.”

The countess nodded, one hand over the bulge, patting it anxiously.

“Yes. I thought it was because of the fight between Uncle Hal and Adam…” She said, her brown eyes huge in her face. “When?”

Mrs. Fraser smiled, sitting by the edge of the bed, taking the countess’s hands in her own.

“It is difficult to say without more exams… It could be today or just by the end of the month. You just reached 39 weeks… We have time, still, for this young sir to be free.”

“Have you entered our bet, Mother Claire?” The countess asked, taking a small notebook from her pillows, followed by a pencil. “We have 32/15 for a boy.”

“I can’t believe you’re betting the gender of your first child, Margareth Ransom.” The healer joked, turning to Eleanor. “Fetch me my suitcase, dear? And I suppose you convinced the staff to enter your little game.”

Ellie turned around, taking the box over the table.

“Well, they were very interested in regards to the prize.” Lady Ellesmere laughed, lifting her little book. “So, what do you say?”

“I would have to go with the boy. No scientific method involved, just good and old mother’s sensibility.”

“It is a girl.” Ellie said, handling the box to Mrs. Fraser and lifting the gaze of the women. “And I never get them wrong, mind you.”

“And now, my odds are better than ever…” Lady Ellesmere complained, taking notes. “33/16…”

She was interrupted shortly, placing a hand over her belly and turning white.

“Peggy? Peggy, dear?” Mrs. Fraser prompted forward, feeling the belly in her hands. “What are you feeling?”

“It is… It is like a cramp.” She whispered, looking frightened. “It is, isn’t it? The baby is coming!”

Mrs. Fraser laughed, patting Peggy’s belly reassuringly and reaching for her hands.

“Just Braxton Hicks. Your body is training for the real deal. If they were contractions, they would not feel like a cramp. You would know that.” Color returned to the countess’s cheeks. “See? They are already gone. Nothing to be feared.”

The girl gulped, still startled, while Ellie walked to the window of her bed-chamber. She opened it, letting the cold air enter the warm room, the wind blowing the whispers of the fairies, while Ellie chanted the song she learnt when she was just a girl, sitting by the door over a small shack in her father’s domains, during the first birth she was present.

“ _Come thee, come all, the big trolls and the bawbling fairies. Gremlins and leprechauns. Merrow and kelpies. Listen to mine own call, the call of the blood, as I beg thee to remember thy promise and protect myself and mine own kin from danger_.”

The wind grew stronger, pushing snowflakes against her face, twirling in a dance, where Ellie could almost see the long fingers and the gentle calve of a figure, made only by ice and cold. Soon enough, before she could be sure of what she was seeing in front of her, the wind was gone, blowing through the trees around the monastery.

Mrs. Fraser might say that was nothing amiss with the lady, but Ellie needed to be sure. And that little rhyme was what eased her mind.

“I will be with you, my dear, don’t you worry. I have a small list of things that we might need for the day and it’s better if we have it ready.” Mrs. Fraser said, letting go of Lady Ellesmere’s hands and fumbling around her apron. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ! I forgot my glasses. Eleanor, dear, could you be so kind and take the notes for me?”

The older woman pointed to a sheet of paper and a feather, waiting by their side. She took it in her hands, dipping the feather in the ink and placing over the parchment, nervously.

“Newspaper to cover the bed. I would prefer the use of plastic, but this will have to do. We don’t want to spoil the mattress.” Mrs. Fraser listed. “Fresh towels for the baby and yourself, clean. I would prefer it if they are boiled and pressed.”

Eleanor stared at the paper, ink dripping over it, while she tried to think. She had learnt the letters, she knew how to write her name, and yet… Her father was never interested in teaching her how to read and write properly. She was only a girl, after all.

Ellie tried to learn by herself. She would take manuscripts, copied by the monks in England, and read letter by letter, word by word, hoping that by the time she finished the first volume, she would be reading like her father.

It was no use. She read every bible in Glengarry and every letter by every apostle. She begged for the other men to teach her, but they didn’t know it either. Learn the letters was something only a lord would learn, and she wasn’t one.

Her brothers, always studying with the priest or traveling to other lands, were never around to teach her and by the time Callum learnt his letters, she was too old to learn it as well.

“We need to set aside the baby’s clothes and a small tub for his bath… Why are you not writing, dear?”

Ellie wanted to cry.

“I… I’m sorry, Mrs. Fraser. But I can’t.”

“You can’t… write?”

She sniffed, feeling her nose itch.

She would not cry.

She refused to cry.

“I never learnt how to, ma’am. I only know how to write my name and to read the common book of prayer.” She paused for a second, feeling ashamed of admitting it to the women. “It was not proper for a girl to learn.”

“Fuck…” Lady Ellesmere whispered, looking down to her belly. “I’m so terribly sorry about that, Ellie. It’s so common for us, nowadays and on our own time, to see women writing, reading, and even studying subjects that only men used to study that we not even considered that your experience would be different.”

“It is alright.” She brushed off, as Mrs. Fraser took the feather and the quill from her hand. “I was used to it. There were a million things that I was not allowed to do, considering that I was only a girl.”

“Well…” Mrs. Fraser said. “It is not because you couldn’t do in the past, that you can’t learn right now. Before I go back to the colonies, I’ll make sure you will be an avid reader.”

“I would love that.”

“That’s settled, then. For the list, I will write it myself in the afternoon, when I find my glasses. Surely, this boy will not rush things over.” The healer said, placing the feather in her bun and rolling the quill.

______________________

“You seem tired, dear.”

The girl raised her eyes, from where it was fixed in the clock. Claire Fraser had left the girl for some minutes, to talk with Ben outside. What it was all about, Minnie didn’t know. She held closer to the cross over her chest, praying that they weren’t bad news.

“Christ.” The girl… Eleanor, isn’t it?... whispered. “I’m sorry, Lady Pardloe! I just lost count. If you could wait...”

She waited, as the girl counted each heartbeat, nodding by the end of the sixty seconds, leaving Hal’s pulse over his belly. He had been fast asleep for some time now, his breathing screaking every time the air passed through his throat.

“A bit high. Mrs. Fraser told me it was ideal something around 90 heartbeats per circle. His is 105. Not to be worried, though.” She explained, making Minnie smile with the corner of her mouth, as she heard the weird way the girl talked about seconds.

The silence took over the room, while Hal screaked and the clock ticked.

“If I may say, Lady Pardloe… You also seem tired.” The girl said, breaking the silence. “When was the last time you slept?”

Minnie paused for a second, trying to dig from her memories her steps from the days before. Certainly…

Well… Actually…

“I don’t quite remember.”

Eleanor nodded, her bright red hair shining near the candlelight. It was a lovely shade of hair, almost pink, like the sunset. It matched nicely with the shade of green from her eyes and every time Minnie saw the girl, she would be stunned by her beauty.

A girl like that… For Adam… Would be a blessing.

Surely, she didn’t have the right birth. A Scottish orphan being raised by a man with… questionable… attitudes towards the crown. However, she was certainly pretty, pretty enough to catch the attention of a rascal such as her own son.

“You can retire to your chambers if you would like to. I can take care of him. For you.”

She was kind, as well. Sweet as a cherry pie. Minnie has seen her around Mrs. Fraser, like a shadow, her pretty eyes watching every movement and her hands mimicking with success. Always a smile on her lips.

And fire in her gaze.

“Oh, dear… It’s very kind of you, but… I just can’t leave Hal. Not after so many years of marriage.”

The girl nodded like she understood something about being stuck to a stubborn man for thirty years. She was smart, too. It was always good to have a smart girl beside a man. Beauty could open doors but the brain would maintain them open for as long as she wanted. Eleanor MacDonnell could take care of a house and its servants while educating a couple of children and making sure Adam would super every night.

“I don’t suppose you are married, are you, dear?” Minnie asked without thinking and only for a second, she regrated her decision. Not because she didn’t want to know: it was a crucial part of the plan she was forming in the back of her mind. But because Eleanor seemed so surprised by the answer that her jaw dropped, taking some seconds to regain her composure.

“Oh, I see.”

She was too good to be true. Too pretty, too sweet, too smart. A girl like that, far away in Scotland, would have been the most expensive object a father could sell, hoping to gain fame and fortune to his house.

Or maybe just enough food for the winter.

Eleanor’s husband probably was a rude and terrible man, missing his front teeth and very fond of the whiskey. Maybe, by the time her parents died and no one could make her go back to the man, she decided to leave. And found comfort below Claire and James’ wings.

“No.” She blurted. “I think… He is dead. No. He is certainly dead. Milady.”

That would change things for good. A woman with a living husband was a nuisance. She couldn’t be remarried, with the risk of the man or his family discovering and destroying the new union. But a dead partner… That made her a respectable young widow.

“What were the causes, dear? If I may ask.”

The girl looked down and Minnie would have thought, by the way she moved her hands in her apron and the darting eyes, she was hurt by the memories. But there was something… Maybe… Relief in her gaze… That changed everything.

“Old age.”

That was it. No young woman would be thrilled to marry a dilapidated man.

“You’ve been a widow for long?”

She looked up, meeting Minnie’s eyes and taking a deep breath.

“One could say so.”

That was good. Being a widow, especially a widow that already has been through one year of mourning, was very good. They wouldn’t need to wait for her to complete her mourning and as soon as she could convince Adam to take a wife, they could be married.

Maybe she was overthinking. Maybe, she was being too anxious. It has been three days since the moment that Hal almost died in front of her and yet… Her son didn’t come to check his own father.

Or the fragile state his mother was in.

Maybe he was not even in the house, anymore… Ben said that he would look for Adam, try to convince the boy to talk to the family, adjust what was wrong, change their lives. Hal and Ben would move heaven and earth to find a suitable job for him, maybe in the Parliament or back with the army.

And Lady Minerva Grey was ready to take her part in the game.

She was ready to find him a wife. And Eleanor MacDonnell was her choice.


	21. A lady is learning

_December, 1780_

Life in Ellesmere Park was… blissful. She would wake early with the movements of the staff when the maids would help her in pretty garments, pretty shoes, and soft stockings. She would eat the best food she had ever tasted, sipping tea while waiting for Mrs. Fraser to get down and fetch her for their rounds.

While having breakfast with the men, she would talk with Mr. Fraser, Lord Ellesmere, and Lord John, waiting for the moment Adam would appear through those doors. However, he never showed up.

Then, she would go to Lord Pardloe’s room, where Mrs. Fraser would check his heartbeat and his breathing. As the days went by, he was getting stronger and stronger, while never receiving the visit of his prodigal son.

“I believe, milord, that I can allow you to get down and enjoy the company of our family this afternoon. But don’t exaggerate. No wine or greasy foods. I recommend vegetables and white meat, for now.”

“Oh, for God’s Sake…” The duke complained, pulling his covers. “If that boy didn’t kill me, a piece of steak and some potatoes won’t either.”

“Could you please listen to Mrs. Fraser, Hal, and don’t be so stubborn?” Lady Minerva said, gazing at her husband.

“I’m not being stubborn. I’m merely saying…” He was cut short by his wife, who smiled at the healer and Ellie, taking them to the door.

“Thank you, Mrs. Fraser. Eleanor, my dear. We will see each other tonight.”

After their visit to the Pardloes, they would often seek the young countess of Ellesmere. She was not confined to her chambers, anymore, since she didn’t have any more pains and Mrs. Fraser was convincing enough to let Lord Ellesmere be comfortable with his wife roaming around the house.

“What do you mean Mr. Smith doesn’t have any flour? How we will bake the Christmas Cake without flour?” Lady Ellesmere asked the cook, reading a list at her hand.

“The snow, milady.” The cook answered, cleaning her hands in an apron. “He said that the horses are taking twice as long to travel the same distance… But he thinks that by next week they will arrive with our orders.”

The lady sighed, checking the items.

“Well, I truly hope so. How could I give a Christmas Supper without supper to offer?”

“Are you sure about this dinner, Peggy?” Mrs. Fraser asked, pulling the girl to a chair and taking her pulse.

“I just can’t invite so many relatives and not do anything for Christmas.” She said, looking worried at the kitchen. “George, have you cut the evergreens I asked?”

“Not yet, milady.” A footman coming by said, taking a bow and looking anxious. “It is not for me to ask, milady, but it is necessary so many evergreens…”

“Of course, it is!” She exclaimed, watching the healer touch her belly. “It is a tradition, after all…”

“A tradition, milady?”

Ellie listened to Lady Ellesmere choke.

“In the colonies. A tradition in the colonies. We are honoring the Frasers this Christmas, aren’t we?” The lady glanced at Mrs. Fraser, who smiled and turned to the scared footman.

“Which is very kind of Your Ladyship to do.”

“See? Now, go fetch those trees. They are not cut by themselves.”

Quickly, the footman ran to the back door, pulling a coat and facing the inclement weather.

“Do I need to put you into bed rest once more, milady?” Mrs. Fraser asked, looking vexed. “The way you’re giving orders up and down is not good for the baby.”

“I’m sorry… Is just… There is a lot to do and, apparently, everyone is waiting for me to call for action…” The countess complained, being helped by the healer to get up the chair. “It is exhausting.”

“I could help you.” Ellie blurted and the two women turned to her. “I was raised to be a chatelaine. I know how to run a household and… regarding what is needed for the supper, you can always tell me first. I have a good memory.”

“I can write it down as well. And we can practice your reading with it.” The countess said, taking Ellie by the hand. They have been practicing each day, reading small snippets in books and newspapers, and, slowly, but steady, her reading was improving a lot. “Are you sure about it, Ellie? I don’t want to wear you out.”

“Frankly, I was getting bored.” She confessed, quickly turning to Mrs. Fraser. “Don’t get me wrong, ma’am, but I was used to fight the men each morning and run things around Glengarry all day. Spending my days learning how to knit and waiting for Adam to show up was not what I intended when I came to Ellesmere Park.”

A weird silence took over them.

“Apparently Adam took over himself to handle every little thing that was needing to be repaired in our lands.” Margareth explained, pausing to catch her breath on the stairs. “Surely…”

“It is fine.” Ellie answered. “He is dealing with a lot. He has issues with his family, especially with Lord Pardloe and I think he is feeling guilty for what happened that night. He just needs some time for himself.”

“Yes, probably.” Mrs. Fraser said, taking her other hand as they climbed the stairs. “With no time soon he will be here and the two little doves will be together again.”

“If Mr. Fraser fence off.” Ellie laughed, followed by the other women.

“Let it with me. The watchdog will be turned back to the puppy he is.”

And their laughs followed their paths.

__________________

“Shit!” Adam exclaimed as he left the old building where the servants were stocking the meat during winter and where he had spent a great part of his day trying to figure why the meat was not being properly dried.

It was already dark outside and he recalled, vaguely, that they would have a proper, formal dinner that same day, in honor of his father, that was finally released from his prison by Mrs. Fraser.

He had promised William he would be present at the dinner, after avoiding, successfully his family for nearly three days. His main reason was his relationship with his father and brother, which culminated with the fight and his father apoplexy.

The other reason, though, was Ellie. He wanted her, he needed her, but he had figured out she would be better without him. With the Frasers, she could have everything she had ever dared to dream.

With him… She didn’t have many opportunities.

He was right. If he spent his days away from Ellie, she would get used to Mrs. Fraser and Peggy’s company.

She would soon forget him.

They were only attracted to each other because they were the only company amidst the snow for days. Weeks. Months, nearly. They were lonely, cold, and broken. Now… She had a full family, duties and a father figure called James Fraser.

She would be fine.

By the time he entered the mansion, he noticed two things. The first was that no servant was anywhere near to take his coat, his hat, and his gloves. He needed to talk with Barrow, the butler, so that they could make sure the servants were appropriately trained to serve a fucking earl and his family.

The second thing was that no one was in the dining parlor. He could see the remains of the celebration, the glasses still half-filled with wine, the _parfait_ laying to melt on the table, napkins all over the place.

“Hello? Barrow? Mrs. Fergunson?” He called, walking around the room and opening the back door that went all the way to the servant’s quarters.

Not a sound.

However, as he stood quietly waiting, trying to find a perfectly reasonable explanation for the fact that everyone on the estate vanished for the day, he heard singing. Faint, far away from where he was, but clear as day.

He opened the door back to the corridor, hearing the sound grew louder. It was two voices, he could discern now, a male and a female. The male voice was a bit hoarse, the strong accent showing through the consonants, the “r” rolling down his voice, sprawling over his tongue, and calling for ancient things Adam did not know about.

The female voice was… calm. Pretty and translucent, lower than he would expect for a woman, but still tunned with the male voice. Her accent was not very pronounced, however, he could discern the little things, the little tunes, that made her sound so different from the girls who would show their talents during _soirées_.

Adam noticed that the sound grew louder by the music room, a place that usually was involved with white bedsheets, as the countess was unable to sing without damaging one’s hearing. By the time he turned the corridor, he saw where all the servants were, peaking through a small opening by the door, all quietly observing the sound coming from the pretty voices.

“I believe you all have work to attend to.” Adam whispered, calling the attention of the maids and footmen, even startling old Barrow and Mrs. Fergunson, that also vanished from the place with some whispered:

“Yes, milord.”

“I’m sorry, milord.”

“Of course, milord.”

And, then, he was by himself, trying to not creep through the door and see what they were all admiring. Perhaps… He stood there because he knew what he was going to see and he wanted to see it.

The logical thing, the logical plan, was for him to go back to his room and pretend he didn’t remember the dinner until it was too late. William would probably be crossed with him but it would soon vanish in one day or two. He was too preoccupied with his heavily pregnant countess and the child that was going to arrive any day soon.

However… There was her voice. He could hear happiness coming from her vocal cords and Adam wanted to be the reason for her gleeful singing. He wanted to see her eyes sparkling, green as emeralds, and watch her mouth twist in a half-smile.

Like being attracted by a greater force, Adam saw himself peeking through the door, half-blinded by the candlelight coming from the room, to see James Fraser sitting by the fire and Ellie behind his high chair, one hand gently laying by his shoulder.

She was wearing a pretty, satin blue dress, that once belonged to Peggy. It was a bit too long for her and a bit tight by her bosom, prompting her breasts up against her throat. Delicious mounts of pure, velvety skin, that were claiming to be licked and tasted by his tongue.

“In all Scotland is there sic augh…” They sang. “And if ye please this pleugh of mine, tell me shortly into time…”

They laughed, as Jamie’s voice broke with the pitch for a second, and continued.

“Or I contract and hired be with others that desire me…” James paused, leading Ellie to the grand finale.

“Not else but the Trinitie conserve you into Charitie.” She finished with a pretty vibrato that sent chills down his spine.

All around the room graced the couple with thunderous applause.

“Oh, lovely, my dear!” His mother said, glancing at his father, who didn’t seem very happy with the show but nodded slightly. “Perhaps Adam could join you for the next music.”

“Adam, milady?” She asked, glancing around as if waiting for him to magically appear behind the curtains.

“Yes, and if he could be so kind and step out of his hiding…”

And that was when his mother blue gaze rested upon his face and Adam knew he would have to come out from the shadows, face his family for the first time in days and…

And face Ellie.

______________

She had been waiting for him, eagerly. Mrs. Fraser managed to grab Mr. Fraser attention all day, which made Ellie go up and down the house, searching for Adam, just to discover he was not in the building, but somewhere on the lands, seeing some tenants and doing God knows what during the dusk, so close to Christmas.

After spending so much time looking for him, she just had time to clean herself and change for supper, dressed in one of the pretty garments that she didn’t own, like most of the things she claimed as hers during this life.

Like Adam.

It was Peggy’s idea to call all to the music room and enjoy some entertainment that night, just for the men, especially Lord Pardloe and Lord Ellesmere, to forget Adam’s absence during supper.

Although Lady Ellesmere was not the best of singers, she managed to sing a few verses of a pretty song about a blackbird and Lady Minerva was able to play in a chorded instrument a piece of long and very intricate music, that prompted all in the room to get a little sleepier.

By the time she finished, no one knew exactly what to do. Lord Pardloe still seemed very crossed and Lord Ellesmere was walking up and down the room, waiting to catch a glimpse, amidst the snow, of his cousin. That was when Ellie decided to do something and began singing the song she learned when she was only a little girl.

It was for her entire surprise that Mr. Fraser joined her singing, with a nice, low voice, that matched hers equally. She didn’t even see time go by, so entranced she was by the old song and the memories it brought. Close quarters, stone walls, the smell of incense coming from the altar. Foreign words echoing along with the room around her, as her father glanced at her, one eyebrow up in his forehead.

_“Sing with intention, Eleanor, or the angels will not hear you.”_

“Adam has a nice voice, Miss MacDonnell. He will be a nice match for you.”

Eleanor looked back at Adam, that seemed to be uncomfortable still.

“I don’t sing.”

“Of course, he sings.” Lady Minerva insisted. “Don’t be rude, Adam, not now when your father is still recovering.”

“If he does not wish to sing with me, milady, I have no objections.” Eleanor answered, feeling her cheeks blush heavily, the sour taste of anger feeling her mouth.

Adam Grey, her knight, has been avoiding her like the plague. She tried to be sweet. Gentle. Understanding. Things she wasn’t naturally prone to those types of feelings. She tried, really hard, for his sake, thinking that this was all due to his misunderstanding with his family.

She wanted to punch him, right now.

“Well, I believe that a fine way to start getting acquainted with another is through music.” Lady Minerva insisted, turning to her prodigal son again. “If you do not wish to sing, my child, why don’t you play to Miss MacDonnell, while she follows with the lyrics?”

“Perhaps, we should talk about some events…” Lord Ellesmere started to say, turning to Mr. Fraser and Lord Pardloe.

Before he could quite finish his sentence, Adam was already by the chorded instrument, playing notes, calling her with his eyes.

“I’m a fine pianist indeed. What song is of your liking, milady?” He asked, in a low voice, while fumbling with the partitures over the instrument. “Maybe ‘Abroad as I was walking’? Or, perhaps, ‘The Fair Maid of Islington’? I fear I do not know any hymns, for the distaste of Mother.”

“I do not have any intention of singing with you.” She whispered back, glancing to the other side, where the other guests were quietly talking. “You do not want to be with me.”

“I do want to.” He answered, slowly, taking his eyes from the partitures and staring at her. “I think about you all day.”

“So why you’ve been avoiding me? If we are going to be together, eventually, even in sin…” She began to say, being interrupted by his voice, soft, low, that sent shivers down her spine.

“As I walk’d thro’ the meadows, to take the fresh air… The flowers were blooming and gay; I heard a fair damsel so sweetly asinging, her cheeks like the blossom in May.” He paused, and seeing her speechless, he continued: “Said I, pretty maiden, how came you here, in the meadows this morning so soon? The maid she replied: for to gather some may, for the trees they are all in full bloom.”

What on earth was he doing? If he was thinking that would ease her heart…

“Said I, pretty maiden, shall I go with you, to the meadows to gather some may?” He smiled at her, as his fingers slide through the keys, hypnotizing her with the movement. “O no, sir, she said, I would rather refuse, for I fear you would lead me astray.”

Eleanor could not help to smile too, remembering how she refused his company in the beginning… That unbearable man, that teased her so…

“Then I took this fair maid by the lilywhite hand, on the green mossy bank we sat down, and I placed a kiss on her sweet rosy lips… While the small birds were singing around…” He sang, his eyes locking with hers, taking her breath away as she remembered that kiss… The first kiss, among the trees and the mossy stones below her feet.

Unconsciously, she sat by Adam’s side, her eyes fixed on him, trying to breathe steadily, his voice, sweet and warm around her.

“And when we arose from the green mossy bank, to the meadows we wander’d away; I placed my love on a primrose bank, while I pick’d her a handful of may… Then early next morning…” He interrupted the song abruptly, choking amidst the phrase.

“Oh, no, please continue, Adam, dear. That’s the best part when they marry and the poet crowns her Queen of May.” Lady Minerva begged, fanning herself, with a witty smile on her lips.

Before Eleanor could say anything, Adam was already getting up and turning to the guests:

“Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m feeling rather ill. Perhaps we should continue our little gathering another day. Excuse me.”


	22. A lady in furs

_December, 1780_

He had lost his mind.

There was the only explanation possible for why he had been searching for Eleanor all morning, while he should be buried deep in the snow trying to unclog the drainage in Mr. Johnson’s lands.

He had a proper reason to be entering each and every room since she didn’t show up to breakfast that day, the first day that he gathered the courage to sit among his family and pretend everything was alright.

“It is a pity that Miss MacDonnell had to leave so early today.” His mother commented, sitting by Amaranthus’s side. “But I think it was rather sweet of her, offering herself to help Margareth with her duties.”

His eyes left the door and went to his mother, that was serving tea and biscuits, with a smirk on her face.

“Why you are not with father?” Mrs. Fraser’s orders were very clear about his father having a well-rested morning, without any challenges coming from Adam.

“I thought you would like some company during breakfast. While you wait for Ellie.”

“I’m not waiting for her.” He answered, checking the newspaper in his hand again, while Ben chuckled by his side.

“Of course, you are. After that little scene yesterday, I expect you have the intention of apologizing to the girl. You were rather rude, going away like that.” She took a small sip.

“Mother, for Goodness Sake…”

“You don’t need to be rude to your mother as well.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m just glad you are back to the family bosom and…”

He folded the newspaper and tossed it on the table, getting up quickly.

“I’ve got to go.”

Before anyone could say another thing, he was already walking to the corridor. If Eleanor was not going to show up like a proper human being, he would have to hunt her down.

And after?

Well, clearly, things were out of control. His mother was getting attached to Eleanor and Lady Minerva Grey had a reputation regarding matchmaking. The last thing he needed, right now, was his mother deciding to see him married to the woman he loved.

After all, he truly loved her. And cared for her. That was the reason behind his decision. That was why she needed to be with the Frasers and not him. That was why he needed to stop fooling her around, running from her. He needed to talk to her like she asked him to, last night.

And he would tell all the truth.

It would probably break her heart. But hearts are often mended and she would be fine. One day. She would marry a man in the colonies and live the country life.

She would be happy.

Adam found her amidst the snow, in a woolen cape lined with rabbit fur. Small snowflakes decorated her hair, while she shouted command for the stunned servants that went into the shack she was facing, carrying heavy burdens back to the house.

“I thought I would not see you again.” She said, without not even turning to him. He felt ashamed right away.

“Ellie…”

“This is the first time that we meet, alone, in days, Adam.” She said back, coming closer to the door of the shack, as the last servant left. “I thought you were being… off… because of your family. But yesterday… You ran away from me. So… Your family… That’s not only it, is it?”

“I came here to talk.” He moved closer to her, immediately feeling her heat below the cape.

“Why do I feel you have bad news?” She whispered, finally turning to him, and Adam wanted to pull her to his arms.

It was time. She needed to know why he was avoiding her. Why they could not be together, why she could never have a life with him. And, yet…

“Just… Why don’t we go inside and talk, Ellie? It is too cold outside.” He asked, after all, he surely didn’t want to say what he needed to say in a snowy field.

“We should.”

He waited for a moment.

“So, why don’t you lead me the way?”

She sighed.

“Because...” He saw her long fingers holding tight to the handle, as she blushed heavily. “I don’t want to hear what you have to say inside Lord Ellesmere’s house, so close to your friends and family. If we are going to talk, Adam, I need the whole story. Right here, right now.”

She was right, of course.

“The story of how you came to Scotland. Of how you fought with your father. Of how we stumbled upon each other. Of why you chose to leave me for days, in a new land, with strangers, alone.” She begged. “Talk to me, Adam, before I lose my mind.”

Adam sighed. He did not want to say that in a weird, cold shack among the trees. Actually, he should have been having this conversation in the Green Room, with tea and biscuits.

However, things don’t ever happen like one may want. So, he followed her to the shack.

________________

“We were in the army. Me, Ben, Willie, and Henry. We were scattered around the colonies, trying to stay alive. Then… Henry was severely injured and by the next year… Ben disappeared. For months. Willie even tried to find him, but only found a grave, that was supposed to belong to him. By the time he realized it was not Ben in the grave… The word traveled to England and I was released of my duties, to take care of my mother and the estate, while father still searched… well… hoped to find Ben.”

Eleanor listened to him, walking to the window and watching the snowflakes. He just… kept talking. It was like he was pouring his soul to her, inside that little shack, in the middle of nowhere, while the constant snow fell around the wooden house, transforming the tiny windows into a crystal extravaganza.

“So, I came. Even though I was heartbroken. My older brother was dead and I had to take his position as heir. But I learned the trade. I loved to tend the grass, to help the tenants with the crops. To greet the cows and the small calves coming with spring.” He smiled, remembering those days. “William got married and all seemed well. Finally. Until my father appeared with Ben, his wife, and his child that I have never seen in my whole life.”

He paused for the first time, which prompted her to turn back and watch him, lost in memories, his back pressed against the wall.

“I remember them, marching through the main entrance of Argus House.”

She wanted to take the broken man in her arms, pull him close to her, protecting him from the cold with her furred cape. But Eleanor knew that if she did that, she would break the spell he was in, and she would never learn the truth.

She would never hear the whole story.

So, she held to the window-sill and waited.

“And, quickly, I was taken from my duties. I had no title, no lands to take care of and not even a job in the army anymore. I was discharged, with honors, for my service.” He still had the letter with the badge he never wore. “I had nothing. And, when you have nothing, it is easy to lose yourself to drink. With the drinking, came the whores. With the whores, came the cards. And with the cards… I lost all my money.”

She watched as he played with the pockets of his vest.

“You couldn’t go back home like that.” Her comment was even a surprise for herself. The sound of her voice startled Adam, that stopped playing with his pockets and turned to her.

“No.” He answered, even though she didn’t ask anything, really.

“So, what did you do?”

“I fought. I fought each and every man that would want to fight me. The others would place bets and I would win part of the money involved.” He said, walking to where she was holding herself for dear life.

“Why?” She asked, raising her eyes to him. “I mean… Your father would have helped you to find a new job. Or maybe your brother. Even Lord Ellesmere. You had something to live by in this world…”

“It is different.” He tried to think, to remember those days. “I earned my position. I had to take care of the properties because of the death of my brother, but I worked hard to transform those lands. They are producing three times more of what they used to. I’ve changed the traditional methods for new, innovative techniques. My father and brother are, most probably, the only nobles in all England that are having the same profits as those with coal mines on their lands.”

She shook her head, barely understanding what he was saying. He was broken, he was lost, he was bitter… But, surely, be with the family that loved him and wanted the best for him… Was better than being left alone to die… Just because he was too proud…

“But drinking and losing all your money would not buy your honor back…” She started to say, being interrupted by him.

“But it took me to you, didn’t it?”

“Lord Ellesmere… He saved you?” She blinked, realizing the meaning behind his words.

“Something like that.” Adam smiled. “He found me half beaten to death in an alley and asked me to be the Godfather of his child. I couldn’t say no. And… I missed him. I missed a proper life. Proper clothes, proper food, proper beds.”

“And then you went to Scotland…” She teased, raising one eyebrow.

“Mr. Fraser needed someone who he could trust to take some things from his old estate, Lallybroch. So… I went there. To fetch the items.” He thought about the day he left the Murray’s. “I caught a cold on the road and nearly died. I was awfully late by the time Mrs. Murray gracefully allowed me to come back home. I thought about getting them some small tokens of my appreciation for all they did for me. I found a pub on my way back…”

“And you got drunk.” She said and he smiled, which made her want to kiss the smirk on the corner of his lips. “That explains why it was so easy to take you off that horse.”

He was so close now, his fingers dangerously close to her waist. Eleanor reached to the pockets on his vest, holding tightly to it, pulling him slightly closer to her, delighting herself in the warmth of his body and the smell of soap.

“Listen, Ellie… There is another thing that I need to tell you…” He started to say, trying to escape the trap she made with her arms, but being pulled to her again.

“No, wait.” She begged, her hands traveling to his own still holding her cape, making him tremble. “Listen. I… I see it now. I… No, I don’t understand but I can see why you’ve been so off since we arrived here and we met your parents. And whatever you choose to do about it, I… I will respect your decision.”

Eleanor saw his eyes melting, the icy blue gaze turning into a pool of warm, summerish water. The lochs of Scotland couldn’t be bluer than his gaze and she would swim in his waters all day long.

“Ellie, dear, please…”

She shook her head, denying whatever he was thinking. She placed his hands in her waist and felt him giving in, his muscles pulling her closer, her hands collapsing against his torso, fingers twirling around the tie in his neck.

“I think that you should talk to your father. Your mother is clearly hurt and your brother seems to be a fair man. I know how proud men can be and yet… They are your family.” She got closer, the furred cape sliding from her shoulder and falling on the ground. “But if you don’t want to, I will be your family. I know you will not have me as your wife, in face of God and men, but I will be your woman. I will bear your sorrows and I will lift your spirits. We will just need each other, by the time we leave this place, see?”

He shook his head, his Adam’s apple going up and down, nervously, as he blinked, without looking right at her.

“Ellie, I’m sorry…” He started to say. “I’m so, so sorry…”

“Shhh…” She interrupted with a soft kiss on his lips, her words marking his skin. “Not now…”

“I…”

But she had already captured his mouth, sighing against his lips in delight. And she felt him kissing her back, eagerly, like that was the last kiss he was ever going to share with her.

___________________

William watched, as the sun set in the sky, Adam escorting Eleanor back to Ellesmere Park. They were not talking or looking at each other. She merely had her hand laying against his arm… And yet… It showed more than he wanted to see.

“Where is Miss MacDonnell, Mrs. Fraser?” Aunt Minnie asked, from the sofa where she was quietly sipping tea by the side of Uncle Hal. “She didn’t follow your rounds today.”

Mother Claire smiled, next to Father James, that seemed as much crossed as William himself.

“She was very kind when offering herself to help Lady Ellesmere with some chores around the house.”

“Yes.” Peggy exclaimed, for the first time since they got down for dinner. She had been extremely quiet that day. “I was quite overwhelmed with the number of things needed for Christmas and the baby. I was informed that she already managed to take all the ornaments and the servants had already started to put them in place.”

“Oh, yes.” Aunt Minnie turned to Hal. “You should’ve seen, Harold, dear, such lovely trees, with such beautiful ornaments. So much different from what we are used to!”

“If you say so, Minnie, darling.” He mumbled, his eyes fixed in the game of chess he was playing with Father John.

“I’ve never seen such a thing for Christmas! Where did you come across with such a clever idea, sweetheart?”

William couldn’t listen to Peggy choking by his side. She had told him that all those decorations, awful music, and weird cuisine were due to a famous queen that would reign the United Kingdom in less than sixty years.

“The colonies.” Peggy answered, trying to disguise the cough.

“Oh, really?” Said Amaranthus. “I’ve never seen such a thing! You saw in the Carolina’s, Peggy, darling?”

He could see Peggy, with a frozen smile on her face, trying to control her panic.

“A Prussian family in Fraser’s Ridge would often celebrate like that.” She was able to answer.

“Oh, how interesting!” Aunt Minnie exclaimed, putting down her cup and turning to Peggy and saying: “Such a nice job. And such a thoughtful young woman. I’m so glad Adam has been fond of her company.”

“Excuse me?”

Uncle Hal turned on his seat, raising one eyebrow to his wife.

“George, the footman, told me that he saw Adam and Miss MacDonnell chatting by the old shack before he left to take the ornaments back to the manor.” She paused, looking at her husband. “Surely you don’t think that Ellie is not fit for our son, Hal?”

“Of course, not.” He answered, looking back to the pawn in his hand. “I don’t think that Adam is fit for that girl. You saw what he did this summer, Minerva.”

Oh. He never called Aunt Minnie Minerva.

“Stop being so grumpy, Harold. Adam just needs to grow up. A wife would do wonders to him! Look to what matrimony did to William and Ben!”

“Excuse me?” Said Benjamin, while Amaranthus tried to contain a laugh.

“I know what you’re thinking and you can give up on your plan.” Harold said, pointing to his wife with the pawn. “You will not find a match for him, especially with that girl. If he wants to be left alone, he will be left alone. As soon we leave for London, I will call the lawyers and take that boy from the will.”

“Oh, Harold…”

“I’m being serious! For all I care, he can find himself a job and even a bride.” He shook the pawn. “You will be out of it, do you hear me, Minerva?”

He turned back to the game, trying to find where he was placing the piece.

“Oh, you were much more fun when you couldn’t talk without losing your breath.” Aunt Minnie whispered under her breath, taking her cup of tea back.

“Check.” Father John announced.

“Holy… Jesus… Dammit!” Exclaimed the duke, red as a turnip and walking to the counter, where the brandy laid.

As William watched his Uncle pour himself a lot of brandy, he locked eyes with James Fraser, that instantly got up and walked to the earl, pretending he was going to merely look at the window.

There, he was able to see the pair, walking among fresh snow and enjoying some minutes of peace.

“We’re losing control of the situation…” Jamie whispered. “Have ye talked to him?”

William sighed.

“He says that he will not marry her.”

“Ye ken that this isnae an option. Not anymore.” James paused. “Claire spoke to Eleanor. She is a time traveler… from the past. I’ve bin trying to gather information aboot her fowk, bit they are all gone. So, ye see that she had become our responsibility, aye?”

“Yes.” She sighed, thinking about the girl, coming to the house hanging tight to his cousin. “We can’t let her go alone, can we?”

James’ eyes went to the same place where his was fixed in.

“We could risk it. Claire and I… We could take her to the Americas. She would have a nice life there and perhaps… A good lad would take her, even knowing she lost her maidenhead.” He paused. “But, for this to happen, she would have to tell him what happened before the marriage. And if he does nae accept her… then… everyone would ken. She would be the blether of the Carolina’s for years.”

“He is being a fool.” William complained, looking at his quiet wife. “He is clearly in love and just… can’t accept that. He is destroying his and that poor girl’s life along the way.”

“That’s how come we need to talk with him and Lord and Lady Pardloe.”

William turned back to his father.

“Oh, God, no! Uncle Hal will just have another apoplexy and… Well, Aunt Minnie will just throw a party and get ecstatic.” He remembered the scene his aunt made when learning about him and Peggy. “Still…”

“They are his parents. They kin put something into that fool’s heid.” James watched Hal walking to Minnie and taking her hand. “That’s nae about Adam anymore. That is about a lonely lass and the future he stole from her.”

They were getting closer and any moment now he and James would have to stop their little conversation.

“He can still say no.”

James nodded and stared at him, deadly in the eye.

“Aye. And ye ken what I need to do.” He turned to see his wife, that kept a watchful gaze. “For all the effects, I’m her father noo, her protector. And I need to fight for her honor.”

“You’re not saying…”

“Aye, lad. A duel.” He turned back to the figures coming up the hill. “And I’ve never lost one.”


	23. A lady with choices

_December, 1780_

Adam Grey was overwhelmed.

That was the truth of it.

He had barely slept, as he couldn’t stop thinking about the moment he shared with Eleanor in the shack. About the way her green eyes sparkled with unshed tears, as she vowed to be by his side forever. Many could say that, right there and then, they were sharing marriage vows.

This mere thought made his body tremble with… satisfaction.

Was he truly considering…?

The cold outside was not affecting him. He could hear faint sounds of someone talking to him, but his mind kept showing the way they kissed the other day, of how she placed her head, covered on that beautiful, strawberry blond hair, over his chest, her arms giving him the comfort he was craving for months.

It was easy to be with her. To take her tiny body in his arms. To whisper sweets things in her ears.

It was so easy to have her by his arm, covered in silence and expectation.

She made life easier for him.

“Are you listening to me, Adam?” His uncle John asked by his side.

“I’m sorry, sir. I’m afraid I was thinking of something else.”

“Something or someone?” His uncle teased, which made Adam turn on the horse to look at him.

John Grey had a sparkle in his eyes that made Adam worried. He loved his uncle with all his heart, but, sometimes, he would think that being a bachelor for so long made him look a bit too much like a spinster.

And one thing that connects mothers and spinsters alike were the prospects of marriage.

“Don’t say that mother has also put you to this?”

He could see that his uncle’s eyes, which were so similar to his own, were amused.

“I don’t need to be put to anything, Adam.” He answered, kicking his horse slightly just to make the animal go on. “It is clear as day. You’re infatuated by the girl.”

It was, after all. After they got back from their time together that afternoon, something inside of him had changed. Maybe was her scent, still lingering in his nostrils. Or the way they brushed hands, making his heart stop mid-beat.

He couldn’t really point out what it was… But Adam knew he couldn’t hide anymore.

“Uncle John, really…”

“I know… I know…” He mocked, making Adam blush like a teenager. “You will deny as long as you want, but you need to face the facts: you like her. And I can’t judge you. She is lovely.”

For an insane split of a second, he had a glimpse of Eleanor by his uncle’s side. He was getting older by the day, but it seemed like age made him even more handsome. His hair was slightly sprinkled with white hairs and the lines around his eyes made him seem fiercer than when he was younger.

If he wanted to, he could smitte any debutant girl that appeared by his side. He could see Ellie smiling to his uncle, apparently in love, and he felt the sour taste of jealously dripping on his tongue.

“You should court her, then.” He mumbled, grumpily.

“I will not do such a thing, as much as I’m tempted. She is very smart and conversation is easy with her. Women like that are a rare breed.” John continued. “However, by the time she goes back to the colonies, you will regret your actions.”

Well. He already regretted them, didn’t he? That was why he couldn’t sleep. Not because he was dreaming of Ellie and wishing she was by his side. He couldn’t sleep because he knew that he couldn’t let that marvelous kiss be their last.

What his heart had decided after all? Or was it still confused and all over the place, hurt and desperate, wanting to free Eleanor from a terrible life while, at the same time, wanting to be with her forever.

He could mend his life, a sudden thought ran through his mind. He could… try. He knew that his and William’s former colonel was back in England. He could ask, better, beg to get back to the army. He was a valued soldier and with the distress of war, they would want every single abled man to come and fight.

Meanwhile, he would save some money. Work hard and be promoted. With his earnings as a captain or a tenant, by the end of the war, he could buy a house. Perhaps not a manor house, with many acres of land. Perhaps, just a farm-house, with some lands for crops and a few chickens and pigs.

He would prepare the land and make it ready for harvest… By the third harvest, he would be well off and settled as a proper farmer. They would not feel hunger or be unsheltered. They would be safe and sound.

Then, he would be able to take Ellie to their home.

“I think you’re…” He started to say, being interrupted promptly.

“I’ve been looking for you.” William’s voice came from behind and he could see his cousin coming from the trail, wearing a heavy winter coat and looking at him dead in the eye. “Adam.”

“I hope all is well with Peggy, Willie.” John answered, looking worried at how serious his son was.

“She is fine. I just need to have a little word with Adam, before he comes with me to Ellesmere Park.” William said, taking his horse closer to the group.

“In reality, Willie, I need to check some roof tiles in Mr. Jones farmhouse…”

“I’m sure my tenant can live without your assistance for a whole day, isn’t it right, Father?”

Uncle John smiled, showing beaming white teeth.

“Yes, as matter of fact. I believe you two have spent too much time apart. Do you remember, when you were young and were almost glued to each other?” He kicked his horse slightly, starting to move away from the group. “Maybe you two could try and relive those moments.”

And before Adam could beg for his Uncle to come back, he was already gone, leaving the former soldier with the somber figure of his cousin.

______________________

The house had been awfully quiet. Lady Minerva was focused on a difficult design for an embroidery, while Peggy was lost in thoughts, looking at the window, her hands gently stroking her round belly.

Lord John, William and Adam were nowhere to be seen, leaving Lord Grey, Lord Pardloe, Mrs. and Mr. Fraser to play cards, while Lady Grey wrote a letter to the nanny in London, where her son was being taken care of.

“And… Yes. I win.” Mrs. Fraser announced, placing her cards on the table and picking the coins left by the others.

“You’re cheating.” The duke complained, throwing his own set of cards above hers.

“Ye’re a terrible loser, Hal.” Mr. Fraser joked, glancing at his wife. “What aboot another round?”

“For your wife steal the rest of my money?” He turned to his son, who was smiling behind the edge of his brandy. “Minnie, dear, why don’t you take my spot?”

“Just for you to blame on me when I lose our money? No, thank you, Hal, dear.” The lady answered, taking her eyes from the embroidery for a split of a second.

“Dear Christ…” He mumbled. “Alright, then. But before she begins with the slaughter, Ben, go fetch me some scotch. Willie hides behind that pile of books.”

Laughing out loud, while Ben got up to take his father’s request, Ellie’s eyes turned to the aforementioned pile of books. As they spent most of their nights in the Green Room, she noticed how the pile grew every day, reaching a point where it was dangerously leaning to the side.

“Do you want to play, Eleanor?” Mrs. Fraser asked, taking Ellie’s attention from the books. “Hal would certainly be pleased with it.”

“Oh, no, thank you, Mrs. Fraser.” She glanced at Lord Pardloe, which was turning a strange shade of red. “Perhaps… Another time.”

A charming smirk appeared on the healer’s face, while she turned her gaze to Hal, now, certainly turning purple, to the pile of books she had been previously staring, while Ben returned with the drinks.

“I can’t vouch for William’s taste in literature, but certainly he wouldn’t mind if you had a look at his books.” The healer said, pointing with her chin to the table where they laid. “Don’t be shy.”

“Are you sure…” Ellie started to ask, being interrupted by the swish of cards being mixed and parted on the table.

“Go on, dear. It will be more entertaining than to watch a quick game of cards.”

Before Lord Pardloe had another apoplexy, she got up and went to check the pile, her fingers touching, gently, the leather covers, so soft to her touch that she could easily forget they were, in fact, books.

One by one, she took in her hands, turning to see the title on the cover. In a fancy penmanship, decorated with gold, she read, with some difficulty, each word, turning the pages to dare and read something different from the works Peggy had chosen for her.

_The noble families during the reign of Henry VII_

_The war of the roses: power and corruption_

_Scottish clans, from the reign of Alexander I to Charles Stuart_

As she kept reading each cover, it was quite obvious that all the books had the same subject.

“You can take some to your chamber if you would like.” A voice came from behind her.

She turned around, noticing that the countess was standing behind her.

“You were searching for my family.”

“Well… Actually, William was.” She answered, taking a book in her hands.

“Isn’t it dangerous?” Ellie asked, turning some pages to see the names she was so used to hear, printed on the paper like it was a celebration to those who were gone.

“Why it would be dangerous?” Peggy asked, holding tight to the red leathered book. “All of this is history. All of them are gone, Ellie. You can’t interfere with the dead.”

“I don’t know…” She also took a book in her hand. “I mean. I know. However… What if they all died in battle? What if Lord Wallace goes to Glengarry and takes revenge upon my family for what I did to him?”

“Callum said that you would be safe…” Peggy started to say, before being interrupted by the girl, who looked anguished.

“I’m safe. I have Adam, and you and Mrs. Fraser. But… They aren’t. Lord Wallace is, for all I know, still alive and I…” She lost her breath. “I can’t do anything.”

For a long time, they just stared at each other, while Lord Pardloe cursed out loud another win by Mrs. Fraser.

“I can’t ease your mind, Ellie. I just can’t promise to you that they lived healthy and happy lives. The only way for us to learn that is through those books.” She handed to the girl the leathered cover she had in her hand. “If you dare, if you are brave enough, you can learn the truth. And, if they are frightful as you think… You can go back. Change the future, save their lives.”

Ellie didn’t answer. She kept staring at the pile of books.

“But you may also remember something that I’ve learned through the last year and what Mrs. Fraser had confirmed throughout her life. The past can’t be changed. Many tried and many failed.” She glanced to the window, where the snow began to fall once again. “Why don’t you go outside, dear, and go fetch my husband? He told me that he would help Adam with Mr. Jones’s roof tiles… Perhaps, if you get the trail behind the stables, the one that takes you towards the lake, you will find them mid-way.”

“Is there something wrong, Lady Ellesmere?” The girl asked, raising her eyebrows, looking worried.

“No, not at all. I just need to have a little word with him.” She smiled, a hand placed over her belly. “I will ask Amelie to take those books to your room. There you will have peace to do whatever you please with them.”

Ellie nodded, in agreement, walking towards the entrance and fetching her cape. It would be nice to go outside, for a bit, forget about the ghost of her past while strolling among the snow with Adam.

Maybe, Peggy was right. She needed to leave the past behind.

After all, she had a bright future with Adam by her side.

__________________

“William…” Adam started to say, turning his horse to face the cousin. The earl seemed tired, with purple shades under his eyes. “Let’s go back, then. Let’s go to the house. Maybe have a tea, hot chocolate…”

He was breathing hard, the air coming with clouds, floating around the two.

“I’m tired, Adam.” He finally said, sadness in his eyes.

“I noticed that. Are you worried about Peggy?”

“I’m worried about you.”

Adam closed his eyes, dreading the moment his cousin found him on his way to the tenant’s farmhouse.

“I didn’t want to talk about that here.” He said, opening his lids to watch the earl moving his horse closer to him.

“She has a name.”

“I know she has a name!” Adam exhaled, frustrated. “I call for her every day, every moment… You think that I treat her as a pet, but it is different, Willie.”

“Well, you certainly don’t act like it…”

“It is compli…”

“…cated. I know. You’ve said that millions of times before.” William got nervous and his horse felt the sudden change of emotion, neighing loudly.

“Because it is the truth.” Adam whispered, realizing the flux of words. “It is complicated and it pains me and… at the same time… it gives me hope.”

“Oh, God, Adam, could you take you head of your arse and listen to what you’re saying?” The horse moved its head, his hooves beating on the frozen ground.

“Willie…”

“No. I’m tired of you.” His blue eyes, deep and dangerous like the deep sea, sparkled with anger. “I’m tired of your little speeches, your little sorrows, your little excuses. Grow. Up. Adam.”

“If you could just stop talking for a moment and listen to me…”

“I already gave you time to explain yourself.” William rounded Adam with the animal, his head shaking to take away the snowflakes melting in his hair. “You were lost and confused and you had the time to heal. I gave you the time. We all did. But, right now...”

They stood in silence for a long time, only hearing the wind blowing against their bodies, while William tried to continue his speech, his voice breaking from the memories, ancient and vague, from when he found his cousin in the gutters. The pause allowed Adam to pour his heart out, finally.

“I want her. I need her.” Adam paused. “I love her. Truly, Willie.”

And for the first time since they started that conversation, William’s horse stood very still, his ears moving slightly, while his ridder asked, in a low voice.

“You finally realized that?”

It was like Adam was lifting a heavyweight from his shoulders.

“She loves me too. And… I feel alive next to her. I don’t feel broken, or lost, or sad. When I’m by her side… I just…” He lost his words, while a little smirk appeared on the corner of William’s lips. “Do you remember those soldiers we met in the Carolina’s? The ones that would spend all day smoking pipes and would get deranged if they couldn’t have any more?”

William didn’t answer right at the spot. He waited, as their hearts raced and the birds sang above the dead trees. They waited, as the cracks and bumps of animals downs the trail got quieter.

“It is just how you’re feeling.” William nodded, his eyes lost for a split of a second, somewhere in Ellesmere Park. “May I give them the good news, then?”

Silence.

“Oh, for God’s sake.”

“I need time…” Adam explained. “A time to set my life straight, to arrange a proper home, a proper life.”

“You don’t have time!” William exclaimed, worried. “Jamie will talk to Uncle Hal today and he said that if you don’t do the right thing, he will call you for a duel!”

“What??” Adam shouted, his horse moving the head annoyed.

“I can’t avoid that! He has the right to do that. She is his responsibility, now. Her family… Is all… Dead. You know that.”

Adam thought about the days in Glengarry, her tears as he took her from the mansion, back to the ruins, where she told him about her deepest secret. Adam still fought with that story, his heart trying to believe the woman he loved, while his mind searched for rationality.

“Oh, God, dammit.” Adam mumbled.

“What are you planning to do?” William asked.

“I… don’t know. I would see if the army would have me back. Wait for the end of the war, buy a country house with the spoils, prepare the lands…”

“And she?”

“She will be in the colonies. With the Frasers. She would be safe there and well taken care of. She wouldn’t like, of course…” He was suddenly interrupted by a snowball that flew right at his neck and melted on his shoulders.

“She wouldn’t, indeed.” An angry voice answered by his back.

And there was Ellie, covered by her furred cape and with fire in her eyes.


	24. A lady in anger

_December, 1780_

His heart dropped to his knees. Eleanor was there, forming another little ball of snow on her hands, her fingers a worrying shade of purple, as her gaze fixed on him.

Her green eyes shone with anger.

“Ellie…” He tried to say, pulling out of his horse and almost receiving a snowball right on his face.

“You… You… arrogant… deceitful… rude… man!” Another snowball flew towards him and Adam wasn’t able to dodge it, receiving right on his chest, as he tried to walk towards her.

“Ellie, what did you hear?” He asked, brushing the snow off his torso, while watching, carefully, the girl build another bullet.

“I heard enough to understand that you’re a self-centered, dimwitted puppet!” She was producing snowballs like crazy, flying and colliding to the stunned figure of Adam.

“Miss MacDonnell, please. If you could calm down for a moment, so we can talk.” William tried to intervene, getting down of his own horse and placing himself near enough to his cousin to help with the moral while still far away enough to not receive any stray projectiles.

That was the wrong thing to do.

“You!” A snowball flew and hit William right by his ear. “You have no right to say anything. Standing at your tall horse, listening to this man telling me lies and smiling to me as nothing has ever happened!”

Adam noticed William turn a worrying shade of red. After all, unlike what Eleanor thought, Willie had been following Adam anywhere, trying to convince him to stop the man from shunning the girl and do the right thing.

And by the time Adam finally admitted his feelings and acknowledged that he wanted to stay with Eleanor, not as his mistress but truly as her family…

She appears out of nowhere and hears the worst part of the conversation.

“Ellie, what were you doing here?” Adam asked, watching as she tried to build more projectiles, her hands failing, the numbness finally giving in.

“You have no right to call me like that anymore, Adam Grey!” She yelled, throwing the bunch of snow she had in her hand, frustrated, on the ground. “For what I know, there are no possible excuses for what you said to Lord Ellesmere today and I wish you farewell. Do not dare to speak to me, anymore.”

She turned around, starting to walk back towards where she came. Adam could hear William calling him softly.

“Let her go, Adam. She is angry…” He said. “Perhaps tomorrow she will listen to you, when…”

But Adam was already following her, reaching the girl quickly and pulling her arm, turning her to face him back. Her nose was red due to the cold and her hands were still shaking from the many snowballs she threw at them. Her only protection was the furred cape, that barely contained the heat from her body.

“Let me go, Adam.”

“You misunderstood everything, Ellie, my dear…”

“I could hear everything just fine, Adam.” She answered, shaking. “Let me go.”

“If you could just listen…”

“Let me go, Adam.”

“I was trying to tell William… I was trying to explain to him…”

“Take your hands off me…”

“You mean so much to me, Ellie… You just need…”

“Adam…”

“Come with me, talk with me…”

“Adam…”

“Just hear me for a moment…”

That was enough for her, who pushed him away and yelled:

“I heard you just enough. I’ve been hearing your lies for the last few months. You told me you want me. That we would be together, even though you would not have me as your wife.” Tears appeared in her eyes for the first time. “I was such a fool. Such a fool. Thinking that you would want me!”

He stared at her, unable to say one word, watching as tears left an icy path down her cheeks and she turned around to leave him once again. Without thinking, as she started to walk down the road, his hand stretched one more time, taking her arm and pulling once more.

As soon as she felt the tug of his arm in her body, she turned, deranged.

“I said: let me be!”

And with a quick movement, she managed to hit him in the groin with her knee, making Adam let out a loud yelp, release her from his grasp, cuddle his lower parts, and fell on the soft snow in his knees.

Eleanor, seeing Adam motionless on the snow, prompted to run back to the manor, while William, aware that the girl would not try to hit him with snowballs again, ran towards his cousin, still swearing under his breath.

“Are you alright, Adam?” Willie asked, trying to help the other to get up straight.

“Fetch… the… God… horses.”

“What?”

“The horses. We need to catch her… Before it is too late.”

___________________

She opened the back door hurriedly, prompting herself through the kitchen, which started to prepare the dinner. She had to avoid kitchen maids holding hot trays and pots filled to the brim with broth, footman polishing silverware, while the cook swore nervously around her, rushing the girl outside her domains.

Ellie reached the hall and opened the doors to leave the servant quarters and zoom through the stairs. However, the commotion that she caused in the kitchens called the attention of all the guests back in the Green Room, prompting the doors to be opened and worried heads to pop in.

“Eleanor?” Peggy asked by the door, but Ellie didn’t dare to look at her. If she did, she would fall off crying, and that was something she didn’t want to do. “What happened? Where is William?”

So, she did the only rational thing she could think of: she ran up the stairs.

Eleanor ignored her as best as she could, holding above the ankles her skirts and jumping each step, anxiously, her heart fixed on the top of the stairs, where she could see the first doors. But before she could reach half the staircase, a loud noise came from the kitchens, loud screams, the clash and bang of silverware, and the loud steps of men.

“Ellie! Wait!”

His voice made her lose her balance and fell on the steps, stretching her arms to avoid her face hitting the dangerous corners and hold her upper body to push herself up and continue her escape. But the pain from her body falling on the stones and the mess downstair made her freeze.

_Move, you idiot._

The silence took over the scene, while Ellie pushed, slowly, herself up. She was still facing the doors, but there was something inside her that was screaming for her not to go up. A weird, tiny voice kept repeating, somewhere deep on her mind, calling her to face the man and get rid of all those feelings once and for all.

So, she turned around, facing the mess downstairs. Peggy was by William’s side, holding him by her side, one hand over her stomach, while Adam was standing on the first step, midway his run towards her.

By Peggy’s other side was Lady Minerva, looking worried, holding tightly to her pearls, her son and her daughter-in-law right behind, trying to see above their heads. Mr. Fraser and Mrs. Fraser were right behind. Mr. Fraser, being taller than most of the room, could see what was going on, glancing at William that seemed unaware of what to do.

Mrs. Fraser, however, seemed eager to fight her way to the stairs to check if Ellie was alright, but halted immediately as soon Adam screamed at the top of his lungs. Just behind her, there was Lord John and Lord Pardloe, the younger brother holding the duke’s shoulder and making sure he was alright. Apart from looking a bit purple around the nose and the forehead, the lord still seemed to be more shocked with all that was happening and didn’t have any time to be truly mad at his son.

“Ellie…”

“Leave us.” She whispered and it took a moment for all the audience gather she was talking with them, before Peggy and Mrs. Fraser managed to shoo them all away, shutting, loudly, the door right behind curious eyes.

Her eyes were now fixed in Adam’s, still looking sharp and elegant underneath his winter coat, his hair, long and blond a bit wet from all the snowballs she hit him with. She could see trails of water darkening his silver waistcoat and the handkerchief in his neck.

Eleanor felt her heart missing a beat, while she analyzed the man in front of her, the man she had poured her heart out, once. He was so handsome, with the long curls, the strong jawline, and the deep, icy blue eyes.

And yet… Watching him now, left a pain on her chest and a sour flavor on her mouth.

“You wanted to talk with me.” She whispered. “Shall we make it brief and easy?”

“I… Yes.”

She nodded, taking a deep breath.

“You did intend to send me away?”

“Yes, but…”

“And you were fully aware of this decision when we talked the other day in the shack?”

“I… Not really… I was a bit lost, you see…”

“So, when I vowed to be by your side, no matter what, after you avoided me for weeks, for no apparent reason… You were not sure you wanted to stay with me?”

Silence.

“And I’m right to assume that you also avoided me because you realized that you didn’t know what to do with me and hoped that being far away would solve matters easily?”

“I didn’t want to lose you. I never did.” He mumbled. “I want to give you the best opportunities in life…”

“I gave you my heart and soul. Even though you said that you could not marry me. Even when you had your issues with your parents. Even when you left me alone time and time again. And… Still… You kept creating scenarios where all my life decisions were decided by others that were not me. Creating solutions for my life, while the only solution that I ever wanted was you.”

“Eleanor, I changed. Things changed.”

“Yes. They clearly did.” Her voice broke and she tried to keep her composure for as long as she could. “Because I thought you were my knight. I thought you would keep me safe and happy.”

“I still am, Ellie. Just… Forget what you heard. Forget all my past doubts, all my past worries. I just need a little time. Just a moment…”

“I said that I would always want you and I would always have you. As long as you wanted me.” She paused for a split of second and whispered. “You don’t want me, anymore.”

“Ellie…”

“So… I don’t want you, anymore. I will not have you, anymore.” She turned around and, before moving, she announced. “You’re not a knight. You’re just a lonely little boy.”

And she kept moving, praying, knowing that nothing could make her feel worse than those pretty blue eyes staring at her.

And she could not be more wrong.

_________________

_November 1447_

The months passed by, slowly. Every day that the sun would set in the sky and the girl was not found, it was one day of eternity lost, one more day where Lord Wallace had to drink his tonics, submit himself to the magic methods to make him barely alive, one day more.

When the soldiers went to catch Lady Wallace and found nothing where she was supposed to be… Heads rolled. She couldn’t have escaped, not with all the soldiers around the circle of stones protecting each and every path.

And… Yet… She was not there.

The hounds didn’t found her. They couldn’t catch her scent anywhere. There were no marks around the stones and no signs of animals or other people that could have freed her from their grasps.

Gordon Wallace called for all his men and all his allies. The MacDonnells were shocked to discover their lady was gone and sent the sons and soldiers to help find Eleanor. Soon enough, there were groups of men searching for each and every corner of Scotland, after a young, tiny girl, with bright green eyes, soft, curled, strawberry blond hair, and magical blood.

The only place where they didn’t manage to reach, yet, was England. King James managed to get an audience with King Henry, but the stories that were coming from the court detailed how the king’s behavior was getting more erratic by each day. Courtesans would tell stories about his strange piousness, while his child bride, Margaret of Anjou, struggled to have an heir to the throne.

Lord Wallace needed the king’s approval for his army to come to England in search of his lost wife. And, considering all the main factors, it was highly unlikely that the ruler or its ministers (especially the Duke of York), would bother considering the Scottish mission.

He needed another way…

And quickly.

Gordon Wallace raised his gaze from the letters in front of him, looking straight to the small mirror he always cared to carry with him. It was said to be made by the Northern Isles sands, where the selkies would lay to take the heat from the sun, taking their skins off and transforming themselves into beautiful damsels, just for an afternoon.

The sands where they would lay would be touched by their magic and, when used to create objects, the magic would transfer to them. That was the reason his mirror was so special: the selkie magic made it possible for him to see his true nature.

Staring back at him, the sunken face of an old man shone, his wan skin falling from his bones, tiny red, purple and green spots tinting his face. His eyes were even more yellow and his pupils were getting whiter by each day. He hadn’t any hair left and he could hardly hear properly.

He was dying. He had managed to take little sips from the concoction his men had acquired for him in the continent. Some would trace it back to Nicolas Flamel, the famous alchemist, while many would firmly say that was only a mixture of herbs, that would help with symptoms, while the disease would remain eating his body.

He needed that blood. Quickly. He missed his old days, when his hair was long and dark, his muscles were strong and his eyes were blue like a loch. He was the best rider, the best soldier, and the best drinker. He lived life fully during those last 60 years and… he needed more.

Just more time.

Wallace got up with some difficulty, his knee complaining loudly while walking to his dresser and shaking the little vial. He had, maybe, just one or two weeks of sips, still.

That wasn’t enough.

“Milord?” A voice called from the entrance of the tent, making Lord Gordon put the vial back in the dresser and turn around.

It was his healer, Black John. No one knew his true name or from where he came from. One day, he appeared in his lands, claiming that he could save the life of a much younger, but still increasingly sick, Gordon Wallace.

And, since then, he showed he was able to do so much more.

“Any news from the girl?”

“Yes.”

That caught the old man’s attention. Black John pushed his hood down, walking towards his master, and taking a little bundle from his robes. A blooming red rose intertwined with the thistle, purple and joyful, was placed on top of the letters Lord Gordon was reading.

“We’ve followed the path, milord.”

However…

“You said there was no path to be followed. It doesn’t make any sense, John.” He coughed, taking a handkerchief and cleaning the spot of blood.

“Yes, milord.” He seemed to be a bit ashamed. “But I managed to place some soldiers around _Craigh Na Dun_ , in hopes they would see something and… It is so obvious, now… If she was caught by magic, we would not see her path but we would be able to know her location, one way or another.”

“What are you saying?”

“From the snow, right at the center of the stones, the rose and the thistle appeared, entangled from the earth.” The man pointed out. “A Lancastrian rose and a Scottish Thistle. England and Scotland mingled together.”

“She is England, then…” Lord Gordon complained under his breath. “By the time we manage to get a meeting with King Henry, it would be too late…”

“Milord, she is not merely in England.” The man pointed to the bundle of flowers over the table. “Scotland and England together, signaling the border, perhaps. The thistle is wild but the Lancastrian rose only grows with the right care… usually, by the hands pious men, such as monks and friars, known to give shelter for those in need…”

“What do you suggest, then?” Lord Gordon seemed annoyed. “Burst through every monastery in England, trying to find that damned girl? By the time we reached the second church on the way, we will meet all of King Henry’s army waiting to take me into jail due to invasion!”

“Milord…” The man got closer, sunken face and ominous smile, his grey teeth showing under his thin lips. “Gods do not fear men. By the time we find Lady Eleanor, you will be immortal, milord. And nothing will stand in your way.”


	25. A lady abandoned

_December, 1780_

Eleanor entered her room like a storm reaching the coast, after so many days in the sea. She closed the door loudly and stood very still, breathing harshly, her eyes scanning the room, searching.

Searching for what?

As if the sudden realization hit her right in the face, she gulped, taking the air right into her lungs. Her chest was tight, her throat was sore, and her legs suddenly were weak beneath her. Ellie only realized the tears falling down her face by the time her knees were on the ground and her hands rubbed her moist face.

That was the moment she realized she was not breathing loudly, but crying, hurt noises coming from her mouth, like a wounded beast. It was miserable and pitiful and ridiculous… and at the same time, so true.

“Ellie, dear.” A voice called for her behind the door. “Open the door. Please.”

Ellie tried to contain her tears, with no success.

“Sweetie.” Peggy called once more, her fingers brushing against the door, carefully.

Ellie didn’t answer. Too embarrassed by her outburst, too fragile from the pain still so alive in her heart, she just kept crying.

A long silence took over the room and, for a while, Ellie thought the woman left her to her own misery. However, sometime later she heard:

“She is in there?”

“I think so… I’ve heard something behind the door…”

“You shouldn’t be sitting on the floor like this. Go to bed, I will try…”

Ellie listened to the ruffled sound of skirts and the soft steps on wood, followed by the louder sound of a very English voice coming right behind the door:

“Ellie, dear. I’ve brought some tea.”

Silence.

“I… Are you alright, dear?”

Clearly not.

“I was worried about you. We all were.”

Silence.

“I…” Mrs. Fraser sighed. “I will leave the tea right here, with some cake and jam. If you feel like talking… Just knock on my door, right, by the end of the corridor.”

Then, once again, the rustling of skirts and the soft steps going away down the corridor.

And once again she was lonely.

For a moment, she stood on the floor, her back pressed against the wooden door, listening to the music of the night. The snowflakes brushing against the window glass, the hooting of an owl far away, the blowing of the wind against the naked branches of the trees.

She could hear the muted conversation downstairs, the crackling of the fire, and the swish of the candles. Slowly her heartbeat got quieter, her breathing got easier and her hands stopped shaking.

She could still feel her heart breaking inside her chest. The pain was still there. Slowly getting subdued by the stillness of the night.

Ellie got up, slowly, testing each and every movement, and, after a moment, she opened a bit of the door, glancing to the corridor and making sure that no one was waiting for her.

There was only the teapot and the pieces of cake that Mrs. Fraser had mentioned. She took the tray and placed it on the small table by the corner of her room. Her eyes paused, for a moment, on the pile of books.

She almost had forgotten about them. It was so… strange… to think that, once, on that same day, she considered her life perfect. That she was happy and not so incredibly broken.

Her greatest concern was to know the future of her family, of her clan, while living the life she always dreamt of. How could she cope with the news of bad omens, knowing that she would be safe and sound by Adam’s side?

How stupid.

How a fool she was.

Eleanor sat, feeling her eyes tingle and the sadness giving in once more. Her trembling hands took one cup and poured the steaming hot tea on it. Her mind tried to take control of her emotions, trying to take out of her mind the bright, icy blue eyes of Adam Grey staring at her.

And… Yet… As much as she tried to focus on the way the steam got up to the air, her eyes, fixed over the brown surface, only cared about the images she saw repeating over and over again.

The bitter taste of the concoction, from leaves that came from far, far away (as once Peggy explained to her), only increased the bitterness she felt on her tongue and the warmth coming from the beverage did nothing to ease her spirits.

Dear God, what was she going to do?

The tears reappeared on her face, falling from her cheeks directly into the steaming tea. Her mind rushed through scenes, through memories that once were dear to her, and to questions that kept popping over and over again.

She was shunned and ignored. She was with Adam, wholeheartedly, and that was the reason she was in Ellesmere Park, frolicking with strangers. Right now, she had no more reason to be there.

And, at the same time… She had nowhere to go. Her family was lost in history, dealing with a future she was afraid to discover.

Eleanor, then, realized that finally, since the moment she found herself running to steal a horse from a drunkard, that she was utterly and completely…

Alone.

_______________

He stood on the bottom of the long and magnificent staircase, his eyes still fixed on the spot where once she stood, staring at him like the most stunning queen to ever set her foot on England.

And now, there was nothing there. Only dust.

It was like he was drunk, falling from the horse once again, being beaten in the middle of the night. Contrary to what he felt that night, the utter and absolute rage of being fooled by an unknown woman, Adam, right now, wanted to cry.

He had never cried.

When his father told him that they had found his brother’s grave, he didn’t cry.

When he went for the first time in the field, without knowing anything about farms and plantations, he didn’t cry.

When he saw Ben standing in the doorway of his London home, alive and well, with wife and children, he didn’t cry.

When he lost all his money to whores and gamblers, he didn’t cry.

But, right now, he started to feel his nose tingling and the tears start to fall down his cheeks.

And yet, he kept his gaze fixed where once stood the woman he loved.

Faintly, Adam heard a little commotion behind him, the rustling of skirts, the murmur of voices. He knew he was making a fool of himself, but nothing really mattered anymore. She was out of his reach, out of his mind, and out of his ambitions.

He only had the memories.

“I should go see her…”

“I will fetch the tea. Maybe some cake…”

In his field of vision, a bright blue skirt appeared in front of him, climbing the steps in a hurry. She turned the corner, with a bit of difficulty, her hand protecting the bulge in her belly, while going to the same spot where Ellie had disappeared some moments ago.

He should go there, shouldn’t he? Adam needed to see her. Talk to her. Make her listen. If she could only listen to him, once…

“Adam Grey! What on hell…” He heard the characteristic screech coming from his father, interrupted instantly, as soon he placed his claws over his shoulder and turned the boy around. “Adam?”

His father watched the tears falling down his face, in horror, unsure of what to do or how to deal with his heartbroken child. It was his mother, coming to aid the broken girl upstairs that saw the scene and halted, pushing Adam to her arms.

“Oh, my darling! My babe!” She cried. “Oh, Hal, do something!”

“I... Well… Minnie!”

“Harold!”

The complete horror in Lady Minerva’s voice made Harold, known for his outbursts of anger, do something. Stretching his back, he opened the doors of the first room he saw and motioned for his wife to come in, bringing the stunned Adam in his arms. When the others, still confused, tried to follow their lead, Hal screamed:

“No!”

And closed the door.

Adam still felt like he was being beaten to death by life itself. He couldn’t breathe properly or move properly. He felt like he was swimming in the sea, the salty taste of his tears reminding him of the taste of the ocean. He was floating on the deep blue, trying to find the way to the surface, while wave after wave made him lose his sense of direction.

“Boy, are you listening to me?”

It was like the voice was coming from afar. Harold and Minerva exchanged glances, almost waiting to see who would have the courage to talk with him.

He couldn’t talk. How could he, when he felt that his heart was trying to leave by the throat?

“What is going on?”

And then, he remembered. He remembered that everything that was going on between him and Ellie was not disclosed to his own Father. In a childish manner, he had played with that girl’s heart, took her virginity, promised things that he didn’t even know he really intended to do until it was too late… And he lied to his parents. Lied afraid that they would make him do something he was dreading to do, something that deep down, in his heart, he really wanted…

Realizing the royal shit he had made with everyone’s life around him (once more), Adam pressed his hands against his face, his elbows buried in his thighs and his fingers pulling the loose strands of hair.

“I screwed up. Again.” He murmured against his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

The silence made Adam dread even more the situation.

If she could only listen to him…

“Have… have you done something with Miss MacDonnell, Adam?” His mother asked, in a low voice.

“Yes.” He answered, feeling like he would throw up at any moment. “I lied to her. I slept with her. I played with her feelings. And I fooled myself.”

“Oh, no!” He heard his mother sigh, while his father stood very still by his side. It was him who asked:

“Why did you lie to her?”

“Because I thought I would never be good enough for her.”

“And why did you think that?”

“Because I… I failed with you and mother.” Adam coughed, trying to clear his throat. “I failed you when Ben came back. I failed you when I lost all my money. I almost killed you, Father. And I even didn’t dare to come to see you, fearing all the truth you would scream in my face.”

He could hear the choking cry coming from Minerva, while his father blinked, no emotions in his face, whatsoever.

“Oh, I think you need to hear some screaming from me. But not now.” Harold paused, placing his hand over his son’s shoulder. “But not now.”

“Not now.”

_______________________

“She locked the doors, milady.”

Ellie heard the maid shaking the door handle, trying to open the chamber and complaining to someone behind her, that soon revealed to be Mrs. Fraser.

“Well, perhaps, she wants to be alone.”

“But… Milady… The breakfast. The clothes.”

“Perhaps later, Annie.” The healer said, her voice getting fainter as she walked down the hall, leaving with the maid. “Now, perhaps you could help me… My sight is not as good as it once was…”

And the silence took over her room once more. Ellie turned to the other side, holding tight to the pillow and trying to close her eyes and go back to sleep once more. She managed to go to bed late on that frightful night, after drinking tea until she was full and closing each and every entrance to her room, barricading with chairs and desks.

Even so, she turned around all night and was only able to sleep, a dreamless sleep, by the time the sun was starting to show in the sky.

And now, Annie, the maid, made her wake again, startled.

Ellie turned to the other side, adjusting her body to the fluffy mattress, finding a good position to return to her slumber.

And yet… Her mind started to work quickly, going to places that she didn’t dare to think about since last night. Places like the staircase and the man that she left there, looking horrified as she parted their ways. Without thinking, Ellie touched the spot above her breasts, that ached.

Was he alright?

 _Don’t think about him, Eleanor MacDonnell_.

She sighed, kicking the sheets out of her way.

_Surely, he is fine. He is a man, after all._

He seemed so… sad.

_He was the one who lied to you. Remember?_

She sighed again, deciding to get up and start with her day, whatever her day was going to be. After all, she did not have the energy to go downstairs and meet with everyone, knowing fully well that they all saw the fight.

She also didn’t want to go outside, just to stay out of their sight. It was cold and snowing, like most of the days before and she would probably freeze to death, considering that she locked herself in and didn’t know how to tie all the laces in the pretty dresses Lady Ellesmere had borrowed for her.

She glanced to the side, where the books about Scotland and the clans were laying over the bed covers. She thought about reading them last night, trying to find the sleep she was lacking. However, she realized that reading about Scotland, especially when she was so nervous, would be worse.

She was calmer, now.

Perhaps… Yes. It would be good to learn about the future of her family. To discover what happened to Lord Wallace. Eleanor was hoping he died moments after she disappeared, in despair and alone, as he deserved to.

She opened a book and searched for the chapter about the MacDonnell’s. It started with her great-great-grandfather, who fought alongside Robert, the Bruce, and won the lands for his bravery. She could see some names that she already knew of while scanning quickly to find her father:

_Leith Alexander MacDonnell, chief of the Clan MacDonnell (1401 – 1473) – Advisor for King James III, from 1451 to 173, it was him who managed to secure the marriage of the King to Margareth of Denmark. He had one daughter and three sons:_

  * _Eleanor Iona MacDonnell (1430 – 1447) – The only daughter of Leith MacDonnell with his first wife, Iona Munro, she was seventeen when wedded to chief Gordon Wallace, of the Wallace clan. Disappeared some weeks later, which prompted searches all over the kingdom, including England. Her body was never found._
  * _Dougal Alexander MacDonnell (1431 – 1482) – Firstborn of Leith’s marriage to Adaira Hamilton, heir and chief of the clan for less than 10 years, was killed in combat due to an attack coming from King Edward IV of England. Was survived by his wife, Fiona MacMillan, and their two sons._
  * _Malcolm Charles MacDonnell (1432 – 1488) – Known for being by the side of Prince James, future King James IV, during the rebellion that killed the former King. He also died during that battle, was survived by three daughters._
  * _Callum David MacDonnell (1435 – 1530) – Healer and advisor for King James IV from 1490 to 1513. He was also an advisor for his son, James V, until his death, at the age of 95 years old. Historians observed that he died calling for his older sister, Eleanor. He had no issue, devoting himself to his work._



Eleanor smiled for a bit. It was obvious that Dougal and Malcolm would go to war and die, brave and proud. At least, they found their ends already in old age, with children and grand-children on this earth. And, look at Callum! Ninety-five years of age! An advisor for two kings! How her father would have been proud of.

The only stain to such a lovely family tree was her disappearance, which had a great impact on Callum’s life. Had he searched for her until the end?

She turned the pages, searching for Wallace’s entrance. Soon, she found it and scanned the piece she had been dying to learn about.

­­ _Gordon David Wallace, chief of the Clan Wallace (1378 – 1447) – Influent, he was almost a parental figure for young King James II, who was crowned with only seven years of age. He was married six times, being the last one to the young Lady Eleanor MacDonnell, nearly 6o years his junior. After her disappearance, the chief moved searches all over the kingdom to find his bride, with no success. Crazy with grief, he invaded England. However, his fate is unknown, as no English army took him into arrest, or was he taken by Scottish forces either._

Her finger stopped tracing the lines. She read again, thinking that she must have read something wrong. And then she read again, slowly as usual, but with more certainty as before.

Her spine went cold, as she suddenly realized that, as she disappeared in 1447, Lord Gordon also did. And, almost at the same instant, she put herself on her knees and started praying.

Praying that despicable man was far and gone.

Praying that was only a coincidence.


	26. A lady goes by

_December, 1780_

“So… You took down the barricade…” Mrs. Fraser commented by the side of the door, her hands buried deep in her pockets.

Ellie was holding her knees tight against her chest, the beautiful copper hair falling down her spine in gentle waves. She was in the same position she spent the last three days, watching the snow fall behind the windows of her room, her fingers brushing, gently the covers of the books she took from the library.

“It’s Christmas Eve. Everybody is too occupied arranging the last details for today’s dinner… And after all… They just had to give up, at some point.”

She would only let a maid come in, one time each day, to take her chamber pot and bring her some food for the rest of the day. That was one of the reasons her hair seemed to be a bit too bright, as was her face, in need of a good scrub. Her cheeks that once were so full and round, were a bit more sulk and her skin was a bit too grey.

Mrs. Fraser remained where she was, watching her like she was some sort of wild animal, which would take her head of in any minute now. Ellie was nothing like that.

She was only tired.

And heartbroken.

“I did not give up on you.” The healer said by the door.

Eleanor sighed.

“It is very kind of you, Mrs. Fraser. But you do not need to keep this farse, now. You don’t need to be kind or feel pity. Just let me be.”

Her words were what Mrs. Fraser needed to move from the corridor and walk to her, closing the door gently behind her. Ellie turned her face, focusing on the twirling snowflake by the other side of the window but was startled by the moment the woman sat next to her and took her hand against hers.

“I do not feel pity. I do not feel obliged to you in any way, Eleanor.” She said, in such a warm voice that made Ellie turn back to her. “I truly, truly, like you. Me, Peggy, and Minerva… We all missed you so, so much. We were very worried.”

Ellie blinked, confused with all the feelings in her heart.

“I’m sorry I’m being such a burden…” She whispered. “I… I had to stay here, while I thought…”

“What were you thinking about?”

Ellie gulped, remembering those last three days where she traced every little step.

“How I can go on.” She said and watched Claire stare at her in confusion. “I can’t stay here forever, even with Peggy’s kindness. I need to go, I know. I just need to trace a plan. I just can’t go back to my family, so…”

“Oh, darling, truly!”

“I’m versed in some womanly arts. I can sew, with some success. It is not a pretty job, but enough to mend clothes. I can cook a bit, however, it has been a while since I last cooked something. Well… Lady Adaira tried to teach me the art of tapestry, but my stitches were very uneven…”

“Dear, you don’t need to.”

“I do, Mrs. Fraser.” Her hands grabbed a book and held it tight against her legs. “To have food, a roof on my head, in this world, I need to work. I have a little knowledge, enough to be a milkmaid. I can use a sword, which could prompt me to find a job in the military. However… Fighting like a man never gave me anything besides heartache and problems in my own time. I suppose here it is not very different.”

“You are, in fact, correct. But, dear…”

“See, Mrs. Fraser?” She raised her eyes and watched the golden orbits of the woman in front of her. “I have a few options, I just need time.”

“Well, dear, you could stay with us.”

The phrase took her by surprise.

“I…I am sorry. I do not follow…” Ellie mumbled.

Claire turned around and glanced to the door for a moment.

“Jamie wanted to talk directly to you, but I thought it would be better for us to have a little girl chat.” She said, smiling tenderly to the girl. “We are of the same bunch, dear. Time-travelers, alone and scared and… And Adam is no longer on the picture.”

Ellie opened her mouth to say something, but Claire interrupted to say:

“I do not to know what happened. No one knows, as a matter of fact, besides you, William, Adam, and his parents.” She paused, playing with the folds of her dress. “Despite what may or may not have happened, Jamie and I agreed that you are under our protection from now on. You don’t deserve to be left alone and you’re too kind to be forgotten by your peers.”

“Oh, Mrs. Fraser, you truly don’t mean…” Ellie whispered, thinking of the words. “You… Mr. Fraser… I mean… I don’t want to be an unwanted burden.”

Ellie, for a split of a second, saw an understanding behind Mrs. Fraser’s eyes, that disappeared quickly as she continued:

“You’re not unwanted. You are very, very dear and you will love Fraser’s Ridge. Say yes, Eleanor. Say yes and let us start a new life.”

Eleanor found herself hoping, again. Hoping for a new life, for a new beginning. She had lost much hope when she left Adam by the staircase and thought that she would never feel like that again.

And now… She dared. She truly dared.

“Yes. Yes.” She gulped, feeling a heavy weight being lifted from her shoulders. “Oh, thank you! Thank you!”

And, next thing, she was in Mrs. Fraser’s arms, thanking her and God that had listened to her prayers. She was going somewhere else, far, far away. Beyond the deep blue sea and the monsters that inhabited it.

Miles and miles away from where Gordon Wallace, who mysteriously disappeared nearly three hundred years ago.

_______________________

Adam stood very quiet, watching the snowy field in front of him. Small puffs left his mouth, white and fragile clouds. His horse was uneasy, shaking its head and taping its hooves on the hard ground, tail swinging left to right.

The silence was a blessing, even with the gentle wheezing coming from his father, sat very straight in the caramel mare he borrowed from William, gelid blue eyes fixed in a point far away, unaware of the sound coming from his chest.

Maybe… He should talk to Mrs. Fraser about it.

The sudden realization, that, to talk with Mrs. Fraser, he needed to go back inside the house, filled him with dread. He had been avoiding the place the best he could, by waking up with the dawn and going to sleep only when everyone was already in bed. Adam would spend the rest of the day in his best winter coat, roaming the, once, green pastures of Ellesmere lands.

And, since the first day, his father was by his side, like a shadow.

He would never say a word. They would meet by the stables, ready to start the new day. Soon, Adam would mount his own horse and start walking to somewhere unknown.

And Harold would follow.

If he was hungry, tired, or just bored, Harold would not say a word.

He would stop when Adam stopped. He would dismount if Adam found something interesting to have a closer look at. He would mount again by the time Adam decided to continue his pilgrimage.

He would eat when Adam would eat.

He would rest when Adam would rest.

And he would return home only with Adam by his side.

After so many months strained from his father, his constant presence was a balm for his soul. It protected him from ominous thoughts, of red-haired girls with emerald eyes. Red-haired girls with skin as white as alabaster, soft limbs that sprawled around him, pushing him closer against her soft, warm, delicious body…

“There it is.” He heard his father mutter under his breath and Adam fought the inconvenient thoughts to seek what was he talking about.

And right there in front of him, some miles away, the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

A deer, with huge antlers covered in snow. It was a male, proud and somber, his fur a beautiful shade of cocoa. By his side, a female, its fur grey like the cloud above him, a fluffy and adorable tail, white as the snow.

Without thinking straight, Adam reached for the gun behind his back. He could only think of the meat, tender and delicious… The fur, heavy and beautiful being used as covers for the naked skin of a certain lady…

“No, Adam.” His father said in a low voice. “Look.”

And there they were, two fawns, one looking like a teenager, long, slender legs and stumps of the future antlers that would crown him king of the woods. The other, still a youngling, close to its mother, kept its huge eyes fixed in Adam, almost like it was intrigued by the man.

Such… beautiful creatures.

“Very uncommon to see them roaming the woods in that time of the year.” His father commented, eyes still fixed on the family, that didn’t pay any attention to father and son. “They should be resting, in warm, safe places.”

Well, perhaps they were thinking the same of him. Why was the human there, in the cold, while he could be hidden in a warm corner, protected by the stone walls of his lair?

“A beautiful creature.” His father pointed out, as the male deer shook his antlers, making the snow fall like sugar around it.

Adam was mesmerized. Mesmerized by the proud, beautiful creature that paid no attention to him, while his cub watched the man with curious eyes, anxious to leave his mother’s side and seize the world.

And for a long time, they stood in their horses, watching the deer family go by, as the cold wind blew gently around them. As the last deer disappeared in the distance, Adam felt the magic fade and his muscles started to get tired and weary.

He looked to the sky, but it was still grey and pale. He would still have to wait for a long time, to go back to his safe haven. And yet… He didn’t feel anxious to go back to his cave. He was happy, truly happy, to feel the cold wind blowing in his face, with the reassuring presence of his father by his side.

During those long days, their animosity was forgotten by the companionship, with no one truly caring to say something about it. Maybe actions meant more than words… Or maybe Adam was just scared. His conflict with his father was one of the main idiotic things that made him travel to Scotland and, consequently, find Eleanor.

And mending his relationship with the duke could mean putting aside whatever connected him with Eleanor. For good.

That was scary. But needed.

“Thank you.” Adam decided to say, breaking the silence.

His father moved the head slightly, his brows furrowed, while he waited for his son to continue.

“Thank you for keeping me company.” Adam added, feeling his throat dry. “Even after everything… You still…”

His father interrupted him.

“Adam. We don’t need to be a bunch of sentimentalists.” He readjusted his sitting, uncomfortable. “It is enough to say that what happened was a misunderstanding and any discomfort caused was forgiven. Alright?”

Adam smiled at his father, always so stern.

“Father, I still think I should say it.”

“Adam, really…”

“I’m sorry for being such an idiot. Thank you for forgiving me and standing by my side.”

For what seemed like an eternity, Harold just blinked, staring at his son. Adam expected the cursing and the weird changing of color his father was so accustomed to. But he didn’t expect the small smile that appeared on his lips.

“Well. You’re welcome.” He nodded, appearing to be satisfied with himself. “Now, can we go home? It’s Christmas Eve and I’m freezing.”

“Father… It is still early. You do know that I do not want to meet Ellie?”

“Oh, for God’s Sake! Are you a Grey or not? Avoiding the girl you love like she was the plague herself… You should be fighting to earn her affections once more, your bloody fool! Now, let’s go. I can’t feel my buttocks anymore.”

___________________

“You look lovely today, my dear.”

Lord Ellesmere said to his wife, as she fanned herself with a beautiful feathered fan. The room was not as hot as one might think, considering that the countess already asked to extinguish the fire on the fireplace, which prompted chills traveling down Ellie’s spine. She would, without thinking, rub her hands against one another, trying to bring some heat to her body.

By her side, Mr. and Mrs. Fraser were having a fun conversation with Lady Minerva, citing every single little thing they must prepare for Ellie’s arrival in the so-called North Carolina. Some things were still very vague and unreachable for her, especially the fact that there were lands beyond the sea, where men with pale faces and reddish hues would part their lands.

She was surprised to learn that many Scots lived amongst the mountains, expelled from their motherland due to fights of kings she didn’t even know their grandfathers. Life was clearly more frightening during those years, where magic has left the earth and people just… couldn’t care less about each other. The only thing that made her go on and don’t run away in panic was the certainty she wasn’t, at all, alone.

Even though she wished she had him in her life.

 _Forgive and forget_.

The room began to fill with people, some minor nobility that also lived around Ellesmere land’s, friends from college, the old military that served with Lord John, Lord Pardloe and even Lord Ellesmere himself and members from Peggy’s family, that after so many days fighting their way from London, in the middle of the snow, finally were able to arrive, even if a little late.

She liked old Lord Bedwyn, Peggy’s grandfather, that fancied caramel toffees and would often sneak one to the girl, while they waited for the last part of the entourage to go down for supper. After all, it was Christmas Eve and the lady of the manor not only insisted on a full decoration with evergreens, mistletoe, and other beautiful wintery plants but also insisted on the best of the cuisine for the season.

“Perhaps, Will, we should just start.” Peggy said, while still fanning herself. “I’m tired, hungry, and… well… not feeling the best today. It is so fucking hot in here.”

Ellie raised her eyebrows, unaware the gentlelady would use such manner of speech in front of her guests. Perhaps, Lord Ellesmere thought the same thing, as he agreed quickly to his wife’s demands and searched for Lady Minerva, the most senior ranked noble of the room, while Lord Grey, Lord Pardloe’s son and a viscount himself, escorted the heavily pregnant countess.

There were two empty seats at the enormous table. Ellie was already fully aware that Adam had been away from social life, as Lady Grey gently put. He and his father would spend hours outside, usually coming home very late, tired, sore, and covered with snow.

The notion that Adam must have made amends with his family made her heart flutter, lightly, despite still leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. After all, one day she dreamt that she and Adam could live peacefully together, blessed by their extended family, that truly cared for and loved him.

Now, the notion that someday she could believe that she and Adam had a future was almost surreal. Good thing she would not have to see his face today or else…

She didn’t even stop the thought when she heard the bangs and clashes of doors, followed by two men in a hurry. Lord Harold seemed to be, positively, freezing, as his nose and cheeks were startling red and his manner of walk was somewhat stiff.

Followed behind him, being chased by a startled footman trying to take his coat and his hat, was Adam, his cheeks pink and bright. The sight of him made Ellie lose her breath once more and, for a second, she smiled at him, almost forgetting everything that happened between the two of them. As sudden as his image startled her, the recollection of all he lied about came in an assault, making Ellie frown at him once more.

“Willie. Peggy.” Harold said, bowing his head. “I’m sorry for the lateness.”

“It is alright, uncle Hal. Surely, you’re familiar with Lady Danbury?” William motioned to the woman by Lord Pardloe’s side, a baroness, plump and jolly, with a great fondness for the spirits. “Adam, if you don’t mind…”

He pointed to a chair by Ellie’s side, which prompted half of the table to get tense. Eleanor looked to her plate, quite intrigued by the scallops, while Adam glanced to his father, eyebrows up in his forehead, while he walked, slowly, to her side.

He pushed the chair, sat with a fluid motion, and glanced to his own plate, being placed in front of him. Soon enough, the clatter of forks and knives and the clang of ceramic was everywhere, followed by the quiet murmur of proper conversation.

_I will not look at him._

“How do you do, Miss MacDonnell?”

She almost spilled her sauce, looking distraught at him, while Adam looked at her like she was a bomb about to explode.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“I…” He paused, searching for the right words. “I just asked about your health.”

“Why do you care?”

“Well, I… still care for you, Ellie.” He whispered, in a low voice, glancing to each side. “I will always do, don’t matter if…”

“Well, you don’t need to.” She turned her attention to her vegetables, cutting harshly the carrot. “I will be leaving soon for the new land they call America and you can forget me like you intended to.”

“I still think…”

“Don’t think.” Her voice went high at the same time that Peggy stood up from her chair, a hand over her belly, looking pale as a sheet.

“I beg your pardon, I believe I need to visit the lady’s room.” She paused, catching her breath. “Would you care to join me, Eleanor, dear?”

And when Ellie turned to see Peggy’s face, she knew, right away, that something wasn’t right.


	27. A lady in need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to all! Today's chapter is quite small not only because it is Christmas but also because yours truly is with COVID. The next chapter will be far more extensive, I promise. Hope you all enjoy it and happy holidays!

_December, 1780_

“Lady Ellesmere, are you…” Asked Ellie, as they reached the parlor, but the countess interrupted the girl.

“I… I think… I…” She was visibly shaking, trying to breathe steadily.

“I need to call Mrs. Fraser.” Ellie said, turning to the door, but Peggy’s grip got stronger on her arm.

“No. We can’t. We would just worry William.” She seemed calmer, as the realization of her circumstances began to settle. “I will go to my chambers. Ask for my maid and go back to the dinner.”

“I can’t do that! If you’re in labor…”

“I will be fine.” She regained her composure and resemble the lady she was. “Go on, now. When the dinner is finished, you may take Mrs. Fraser to my chambers. Thank you, Ellie.”

And she walked off, a hand over her belly and the other holding to the handrail. As soon as she saw the last bit of her velvet dress, Eleanor turned to the servant quarters and almost ran towards the kitchens. While the other servants were still occupied with the dinner feast, the others were waiting for their masters to retire, so that they could help them with their clothes and jewelry.

Quickly, Eleanor found Peggy’s maid and reported to her the Ladyship’s request. Like an arrow, the maid ran up the stairs, followed close behind by the girl, who halted by the parlor. She wanted to keep going, meeting Peggy and helping prepare her room. However, she knew exactly her instructions and needed to, at least, try to obey them.

After all, the countess welcomed the girl in her home when she was not least obliged to do it.

Slowly, she entered back the dining room, sitting quietly in her chair, almost catching no one’s attention.

“Where is Peggy, Miss MacDonnell?” William asked from the other side of the table, looking worried, as his wife didn’t show up.

“Oh.” _Think fast. Anything._ “She will be right up. Just making sure everything is going as planned, milord.”

“Oh.” He seemed surprised, but not as worried as someone would expect. “Yes, alright.”

He, then, returned to his joyful conversation with his Aunt Minerva. Adam, however, by her side, kept his gaze fixed on her. He almost didn’t blink, while she played with the food on her plate. He didn’t move to eat, as the plates were changed and a new concoction was placed in front of them.

“Could you stop staring at me?”

“Something is wrong.”

She turned her head quickly, dreading any emotion she showed on her face. Blinking and smashing her lips together, Eleanor tried to control her feelings, transforming her mind into a blank canvas.

“No, it is not.”

“I can see on your face.”

“You’re mistaken, milord.”

“I know exactly what you’re thinking. And you’re lying.”

She turned to her food again and tried to take a bite of the potato.

“No, I’m not. You don’t know me so well as you think.”

“Of course, I do…”

She interrupted him, turning harshly to stare at his pretty blue eyes.

“No, you don’t. If you knew me so well, you would know that I hate liars. So, step back, milord.”

He was caught off guard and stared at her perplexed. Satisfied, she returned to her plate, trying to take small bites, while everyone chattered, gladly, by her side. It was not their fault, she tried to remember herself. They didn’t know that their countess was upstairs in labor.

They didn’t have a clue.

She tapped her shoe, waiting, as the plates were being changed for new intricate preparations, the desert never coming by the servant’s door.

“I can help you.” Adam finally whispered by her side.

“No, you can’t.”

“Can you have a little bit of faith in me?”

“No.”

“Please, Ellie.”

He seemed so broken that she turned again to see his face. His eyes were begging for a chance and his hand was close to hers, over the table. If she stretched her finger, she could reach his hand, warm and callous, like she was used to.

“I…”

“Just tell me what you need me to do. I will not question.” He said, in a low voice that was only heard by the girl.

Was she really considering…?

“I need to fetch Mrs. Fraser.”

________________________

Adam would never gather what he was thinking. For a minute she was staring at him, begging with her great, round green eyes. He thought she would never trust in him again… and there she was. Asking.

No.

Not asking.

Demanding.

She was demanding to be heard. To be taken into consideration.

And he would not fail her. Not again. Nor ever. He would be, for now on, the knight in shiny armor Eleanor truly deserves.

And as her voice formed the words, his mind started to run around, finding a way to gain her trust, achieve his task, and deliver the head of the dragon to the princess. “I…” _alright, it was something that she, personally, needed…_ “need…” _it was important, then…_ “to fetch…” _something, maybe an object, something that was missing, something that she cared about and she couldn’t find… something astray…_ “Mrs. Fraser…”

_Wait. What?_

Mrs. Fraser. She needed Mrs. Fraser. But she was just across Mrs. Fraser on the table. He could actually see her, talking to his brother, a vivid conversation about… sepsis? Alright, he would not dwell further on that.

Well, maybe… That was the only plausible option. Peggy was not in the room and if Ellie couldn’t just catch Mrs. Fraser’s attention across the table… Oh, God.

“Peggy is in labor?”

“Shhhhh!” She exclaimed, kicking him in his shin with the point of her shoe. “For God’s Sake, Adam, if you want to help, you can’t shout things like that…”

“Is it true?” He asked, glancing around to see if someone noticed the little drama going on. Not a soul paid attention to them.

“Well, I think it is the case, however…”

“Ellie! You cannot believe…”

“Do not call me Ellie, milord. I do not give you the permission to do so…”

“This is not the time or place to scold me. Are you saying that my cousin’s wife is in labor upstairs and he is clueless of such?”

“I… Well…”

“Eleanor!”

She turned to him, cheeks flushed and a deranged look in her eyes.

“Yes, yes, alright!” She glanced to the earl, sipping his wine like he had not a worry in the world. “But she asked me to stay quiet. I’m already breaking her trust by confiding her situation with you.”

“That’s very…” Adam lost his words, feeling a warmth creeping in his heart. “Lovely.”

She paused, almost surprised. For a second, she just kept opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water. And then, suddenly, she decided to speak.

“Well, I’m glad my actions please you. Now, could you focus? What are we to do? I can’t leave Lady Ellesmere alone for too long upstairs, as much as she doesn’t want to ruin her party!”

As she motioned to the floor, Ellie almost knocked off her glass, spilling a few drops of red wine on the cloth table.

That gave him an idea.

“Well, it is quite obvious, isn’t it?” He said, fetching his own glass.

She stared, blankly at him, for a while.

“I don’t see how it is obvious, no.”

“Well… She is a doctor. What else could make her leave this glee party rather than… a medical incident?” He asked, slowly, quite in a low voice, as he turned around the rest of the wine in the cup, admiring its lovely shade of red.

Red like blood.

“Adam… Adam… you can’t just be thinking of… No!” She screamed, at the same time as he pressed the beautiful glass in his digits, breaking it with a soft sound. Shards of crystal and drops of wine spilled around him on the table, tarnishing the tablecloth and his new scarf.

The sound of Ellie’s gasp and the glass breaking caught the attention of the room.

“Oh, silly me!” Adam said, in what could have been the worst acting he had ever heard.

Slowly, dripping amongst the wine, he started to discern the blood flowing as well, from the injuries that appeared in his skin. Perhaps, Ellie noticed as well, as she gasped and pulled his hand into her lap, tapping with her handkerchief.

“Why? Oh, you dumb, pretentious, little man!” She complained, looking worried at his hand, wich now, stung a little bit.

“Are you alright, Mr. Grey?” Mrs. Fraser asked, in doctor mode, getting up from her seat and running to him, just to have a glance at the bloody mess in Ellie’s lap. “Oh, that is a nasty cut. Perhaps we should have a better look upstairs. Shall we?”

Ellie raised her head, startled, looking for his gaze, still rubbing the handkerchief in his hand.

How was she surprised? It was an obvious solution…

“Of course, Mrs. Fraser, if it is not such a trouble…”

“Oh my, Mr. Grey. I’m a practitioner! It is my duty, you do know.” She answered although she looked like she had clear doubts about the fact that Adam did know what a doctor was supposed to do.

“Yes, of course.” He said, and, followed Mrs. Fraser’s lead, getting up, with his hand still covered by Ellie’s handkerchief.

He took a step towards the exit when he halted. This caught the doctor’s attention, who turned around, worried, to see him glancing between Ellie and Mrs. Fraser.

“I…Well…” He looked to Ellie once again, who had her cheeks the same color as her hair. “I think that Miss MacDonnell could join us.”

“What?” William asked confused, followed by the end of the conversation between the other side of the table.

“I… Well… She is being trained to be Mrs. Fraser’s assistant.” He declared, trying to make a point, only to be scoffed by Mr. Fraser:

“And yet, I believe my wife can handle some stitches, Mr. Grey. By herself.” He was still holding a grudge, apparently.

“For the sake of propriety, then.”

“You do know that she is married, lad?” Peggy’s grandfather said, looking a bit worried about his mental health.

Shit. Well. There was a solution…

“I faint with blood.” And he dangerously swooned towards Ellie, who quickly held his torso tightly. “Thank you, Miss MacDonnell… If you could be so kind…”

And they left as quickly as possible the room.


	28. A lady in truth

December 1780

Eleanor  couldn’t quite believe what was happening, as she carried out of the room the worst actor she had ever seen in her life, being escorted by a quite amused and confused Mrs. Fraser. 

As they reached the parlor, she threw Adam away, which prompt him to sway a bit, until he found his feet again.

“Surely, there was no need…” Said Mrs. Fraser as they stopped, looking at  both of them with a confused expression. “Oh, I see.”

A wicked smile showed up on Mrs Fraser’s expression while Ellie flushed and Adam stared back at her, holding the handkerchief in his bloody hands.

“You two planned this.”

For a moment they froze, just for Eleanor to turn to Adam, with her hands on her hips:

“It was the most ridiculous…”

“It worked, didn’t it?” He pointed out, as Mrs. Fraser waited with a side smile in her face.

“While you’re bleeding, your babbling idiot”

A giggle left his body and at the same time he regretted. Eleanor glanced an evil look at him, while Mrs. Fraser started to lose her patience.

“May I ask, why did you two concoct such elaborated plan?”

And like she was taken from the deep of the ocean and thrown back to the storm above water, Ellie realized she had entirely forgotten about…

“Peggy!  Oh Dear Lord, I almost forgot about her!” She caught the healer’s hands and started pulling her up the stairs. “Peggy, Mrs. Fraser! She is in labor!”

Right away, the healers face was covered with anxiety and she  didn’t need to be pulled anymore. She caught the lead, leaping each step with intent, being followed by Adam, dripping blood in the fancy carpet.

That stain would never leave.

They stormed in the countess room, who was standing, holding to the bed’s canopy, shooing a maid away:

“I do not need to lay down, dear God, can you just leave me be?”

“You seem like you’re handling everything great!”

Peggy turned around and watched the party enter her room with relief. Ellie could see her face melting, like she was being surrounded by angels or maybe a miracle, being lifted from the pain and sacrifice of childbirth.

“What are you doing in here? The party… The dinner…” She glanced at Eleanor looking for answers. “Oh, no! William! He will certainly notice your absence!”

“Oh, please, Margareth Ransom, as if you don’t know your husband. Blessed it be, male oblivion… He is chatting with your Aunt Minerva like he didn’t had a worry in his life.”

Eleanor saw Peggy’s lips tremble, like she was going to cry. However, before her tears started streaming down her face, she let out a deep breath and glanced to the party, recovering her strength.  That was the right moment when she noticed Adam glancing from afar, still holding the bloody cloth.

“Adam? Why…?”

Mrs. Fraser turned around, finally noticing that William’s cousin had followed them.

“Oh, Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ.” Calling the maid with her finger, she started to get hold of the situation: “You, go fetch my medical bag in my room. Ask the kitchen to start to heat some water and ask Mrs. Ferguson to separate the boiled clean sheets I’ve asked some weeks ago.”

As the maid left the room in a hurry, she turned to Ellie and Adam behind her.

“Now. Adam, Eleanor will stitch you up…” Before she could finish her phrase, voices started to complain.

“Surely, Mrs. Fraser, he does not need such thing. He is fine, look at him…”

“Yes, I’m fine. Like I could not handle such a small cut…”

“As matter of fact, we should send him back to the party, so that Lord Ellesmere will not get anxious beforehand…”

“Actually, I think…”

“It would be much better if I  was to assist you. After all, I’ve helped before in childbirth and…”

“No, no. I can help! I will help. Anything.”

“You’re losing your mind if you think that Mrs. Fraser will let a man into an expectant chamber!”

“Why can’t I help? She will need support or someone to fetch help or maybe William, if needed be…”

“Surely…”

A deep groan coming from the canopy made Ellie and Adam stop bickering. They turned to the countess, that looked less regal now, with her face a deep shade of red, sweat covering her temples and puffing out loud, as the pain started to go over.

“Thanks God you two stopped fighting. Gosh, I do not need children in my room right now.” The countess said, with pain in her eyes.

“My thoughts exactly.” Mrs. Fraser added, turning to  both of them once more. “Now, I do want to tend the expectant mother. So, Ellie, dear, you will stitch Adam up and, after that, you will come back, with him, to assist me. And you, Adam, we will see what you can do for us, alright?”

Adam seemed nervous and Ellie was not content at all.

“Alright, then.” Mrs. Fraser decided to say, finally. ”Here is my bag. I’ll fetch the materials for you, dear.”

_________________________

He sat in the dark, holding tightly to his bloody hand, while Eleanor prepared whatever she needed to stitch him up by his side. In the army, usually, all the stitches were done with an old needle, some thread borrowed from the livery sector and an overtired doctor, usually bloody from all the amputating he had done.

Now, he observed as she placed a clean sheet over the table next to him.  A very clean needle was taken from a small case, as the same was done with a packet of white thread. Gauze was the next item she carefully placed by the linen, followed by a small glass with what seemed to be concentrated alcohol and laudanum.

After feeling satisfied with her organizing method, she took two candlesticks, lit them while adjusting them slightly, so his face was bright and yellow from the flames coming from it.

“Let me see it.” She asked, in a low voice, still bitter from the task Mrs. Fraser asked her to do.

He handled her his arm and, slowly, she uncovered his hand, watching the deep gaps, from which he could still see some blood leaving.

“You should not be worried. It will heal  just fine , after I finish to stitch it.”

She let his arm on the table and went to pour some alcohol in one bowl, carefully submerging a piece of gauze in it. For a while, he watched in silence, as she continued her work, her eyes fixed on the gauze.

It was ridiculous. She was caring for his stupid wound, after all. He needed to say something, even if… He  almost could see his father staring from the other side, seeming disgusted by the idea of his own son asking forgiveness, like a boy in love.

No. What his father would tell him to do? 

Well. Seduce her? He watched the curve of her neck and wanted to lick her. If he kissed her, she  wouldn’t be mad with him anymore. It was obvious… By the way she avoided his look and his presence. 

“I’m going away.”

His heart drop to his stomach and he suddenly felt like he was going to throw up. The sensation only got worse as she started to tap the gauze, gently, over the cuts.

“To the colonies.” She said, pausing a minute, as she discarded de gauze and took another one. “Beyond the Great Sea.”

Another pause, as she changed the used gauze for a new one.

“I am to live with Mr. and Mrs. Fraser. She will teach me everything she knows about healing, while I help to tend her tenants.”

“I didn’t know you fancy healing so much.” His voice seemed hoarse and wrong in the quiet room.

She was not waiting for him to talk. Eleanor raised her head, looking straight into his eyes.

“I didn’t. But things changed.” She said, crisping her lips and turning to the table.

The silence took over once again, while she stood very still, her hands holding tightly to the table covered in pure, white linen.

“You do love the country.”

She raised her head slightly, in an angle, almost as she wanted to hear what he had to say, while still avoiding eye contact.

“The Carolinas are a beautiful place. You have the coast, with its grey and turbulent sea and the country, by the mountains, where Mr. and Mrs. Fraser live. I never went to their land but… William told me it is lovely.”

She blinked, taking away the  gauze and still avoiding his eyes. For a moment he thought he would have to just keep going with the conversation, hoping for the best, until he heard, faintly:

“It is one of the things I miss the most.” 

She was taping the gauze in his injury, that was almost clean right now.

“I did enjoy staying here, helping Lady Ellesmere with her chatelaine’s chores.” She paused, smiling to herself. “It is not the same thing, however.”

He could faintly imagine her, going up and about in bright green meadows, followed by worried maids and grumpy governess, as she meddled with everything on her reach. However, there was something amiss…

“Well, I believe that you also miss the fights.”

Her smile widened, as she discarded her last gauze and went to fetch the needle. 

“Milord, if I dare to ask Mr. Fraser to join me in sword fighting, he will surely have an apoplexy.” She joked, covering the needle, carefully on the flames.

“It is much easier to imagine my father having an apoplexy while Mr. Fraser just looks incredibly stunned in a corner.” He answered and she let out a giggle.

“Until Mrs. Fraser commands her husband to stop looking like a fool and fetch the sword already.”

They both laughed, in glee, for a while, almost forgetting their differences. And… quickly as it started, it was gone, with their joyous laugh dying in their lips and a bitter smile remaining.

She placed the thread on the needle and curved herself over his hand, observing where to start. He felt the puncture and complained under his breath.

“Do you want some laudanum?”

“No. I’m fine.”

Eleanor nodded and kept sewing his skin, while he chewed his lip, trying to contain the small yelp that wanted to leave his mouth. She seemed almost hypnotized by the movements, her beautiful green eyes fixed on the needle.

Up and down. Up and down.

And watching her, the love that spilled from her hands and covered his injuries, made his heart swell inside his chest. He  didn’t feel pain anymore and only cared about the tenderness in her eyes, the little hums that she made while making tiny little knots, how her fingers brushed slightly, making the skin get together and avoiding any gaps.

By the end, he could scarcely see where he had hurt himself, besides the small little dots that covered his skin.

For a minute, she just held his hand between hers, watching his fingers slightly move, testing what he was able to do.

“I miss you.” He dared to say, taking away her eyes from his hands directly to his face. They stared at him with… something… Like she wanted to say something confusing or just... meaningful.

At  last …

“Please, do not use this hand until the wounds heal. I will dress it with gauze, for now.” She took away her gaze from him. “And see that someone changes it when I’m gone.”

______________________

Hurriedly, she dressed his wounds and stormed out of the room, feeling her cheeks pink and hot. Oh, God, why was he able to do such thing to her? Why she would always behave like a babbling idiot in front of him?

She had no business in telling him that she was going away.

And he  didn’t have any business on saying all those lovely things…

Dear  God Almighty, she was losing her mind.

By the door, she watched as Mrs. Fraser finished assessing Lady Ellesmere. She had a slight frown, but overall seemed very cheerful. Glancing to where the girl was, she motioned to Ellie to come by, while turning to the countess and helping her to her feet.

“Now, the best way for a baby to come into the world is by gravity.” The lady moaned, placing a hand over the bulge. “And your contractions are still quite mild and far apart. Ellie will walk with you around the room, while I… tender to some things.”

Gladly to take Adam out of her mind, she went over the huge countess and took her arm, walking with her towards the center of the room, while the other waddled quite gracefully. By the corner of her sight, she noticed Adam talking with Mrs. Fraser in hushed and hurriedly tones. 

She tried to hear what they had to say, but as though she tried  really hard , the huffs and puffs by her side were quite difficult to avoid.

“Now, talk to me, Ellie.” Asked the countess, smiling. “I feel like I’m going to burst in any minute and the last thing that I need is to die thinking on how heavy I was.”

She smiled and the Scottish girl smiled with her.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Well… Entertain me.”

Ellie laughed, easing her  mind and forgetting about the secrecy behind her.

“I believe I do not have such an interesting life, milady.”

“Oh, thou shall not lie!  You’re from the middle ages! It is so… different and interesting!”

“How is it so? You probably know everything that occurred during my time. All the kings, battles and…”

“Oh, come on. That is not interesting!” She complained, making a strange face. “That is history written by men! No women care about their glories or whatever. I want real history.”

Ellie blinked for a moment or two.

“Well… What would you like to know?”

“What did you do during your day?”

She thought about it for a while, trying to recover her good old memories from home. She would wake up, have breakfast (usually porridge ) and then visit the tenants. She would often bring baskets and such to distribute, while making small talk. When she was able to sneak before lunch, she would draw swords together with her brothers and  her guards, while still living a very subtle lifestyle by noon, where she would often sew and pray.

“Milady, it is not  very different from your daily business, I’m afraid. Perhaps… Less instruments to  play? Books to read?” Ellie pointed, feeling a bit ashamed of how… shallow… was her life back then.

“Oh. Yes. Hum...” And for some time, Peggy’s eyes filled with longing. “When  I’m practicing a new step for a dance, I do miss the 21 st century. Things were easier, in a way…”

“How it was like?” Ellie asked, trying to prompt the lady to forget about her worries and think about better times.

“Oh, well. I would wake up, have breakfast with my mother and my father… Then I would jog in Hyde Park…” Seeing Ellie’s obvious oblivion when mentioned the name, she added. “ A very famous park in London. After that I would have lunch with my grandma and often she would take me shopping in Regency Street… She hated my ripped jeans.”

She had a soft smile in her face.

“You miss her.”

Peggy turned to Ellie and her smiled widened.

“Oh, I do. I miss all of them. How my father would take my mother on the balcony, dancing in the moonlight… My grandma bickering with me for whatever silly reason she concocted that same morning… James texting me all day long…”

“James?” Ellie asked, wide-eyed. She  didn’t know the proper countess had a betrothed before her husband.

“Yes. My best friend.” She giggled. “And technically, my great-great-great-great-great-grandson.”

That was the right moment the baby decided to quick, startling his mother and making her halt, suddenly. Peggy caressed her belly, the happiness in her eyes vanished for a second, while turning back to Eleanor.

“I do not know if I will ever be able to see them again.” She paused, on the verge of tears. “I don’t even know if my grandma is still alive to hold her great-grandson.”

She was stronger than Eleanor thought. Sniffling loudly, she placed a smile on her face and continued the slow walk.

“However, I do not regret it, Ellie. I love William very, very much. And I would never leave him to go back to my normal life.” She pushed the girl closer. “We are a combo.”

“Combo?”

“Oh, God, sometimes I wish you knew the lingo.”

Ellie giggled, as she thought it was the best solution  at the present moment . After all, she clearly  didn’t know what Peggy was talking about and seemed to be a bit… cold… to ask all the questions that were buzzing in her ear, after hearing part of the countess history.

She wanted more, after all.

She wanted to know how she arrived in the past, how she met the earl and how they realized they were in love. Surely, just by the way the two looked at each other, it was clear that they never doubt about each other’s feelings.

She wished she could feel the same certainty.

Trying to take her mind of sad thoughts, that dwell too close to the memory of Adam Grey siting very still in a dark room, she asked:

“Have you and the earl decided about the name?”

She seemed to have been taken from memories, as she turned to the girl, surprised. 

“Oh. Yes. More or less.” She paused, caressing the bulge. “William likes James and John. My father’s name was Piers and I always thought it was such an ancient name… So, I would have to pass, unfortunately. I do favor George but… It is hard, isn’t it? When you can’t really see its face.”

She smiled, like she knew what she was talking about. After all, Eleanor had never had a child to name. Although, sometimes, her mind lingered on pretty girls, with blond hair and bright blue eyes…

“And for girls?”

“Oh, Gosh! You sound just like William. I hope you’re not losing your confidence in the bet, Miss MacDonnell!”

“I do not, ma’am.” And her mind travelled to far away places, where blue eyed girls who looked just like their dad’s  couldn’t reach.

__________________________

“You need to listen to me carefully, Adam.” Mrs. Fraser said, pushing him aside and talking in a hushed tone, while Peggy and Ellie strode around the room. “I need you to fetch a midwife.”

He lost his breath for a second, as his eyes went back to the girls giggling across them.

“She is in grave danger, ma’am?” He could feel his bones chilling, with the mere notion that his cousin was downstairs, enjoying a Christmas Party.

“No. I do not think so.” Mrs. Fraser corrected herself quickly, trying to not worry Adam. “The baby’s heartbeat is  strong and she seems to be in good health.  However …”

She played with the words and, finally, Adam noticed what was the problem.

“It is something of an intimate matter?” He asked, trying not to blush like a  school boy .

“Quite.” She paused. “I would usually just go ahead, but I… You see…”

For a woman that seemed so full of herself, sometimes she could lose her words easily.

“I’m older than my cousin, who is downstairs, soon to be a father. I think I can handle it. For the sake of passing the information to the midwife, of course.”

“Of course.  “ She agreed, more relieved. “She has some spotting, you see. Of blood. Usually, it is not a problem. But she is young and very scared about childbirth. I personally spoke to the midwife in question, and she is a very respectable woman.”

“You do not think it is better to call for a doctor?”

“In any matter!” She seemed adamant. “Men, especially doctors, will only stay on our way. Mrs. Oliver knows what she is  doing and she will be able to give Peggy the comfort she needs. And, if, by any chance, I require any assistance, she will be able to do so.”

“ But, Ellie…” Adam started to protest.

He had seen the way the girl treated his injured hand. The care she had given to him. The tenderness in her eyes. The softness in her speech, even though she quite disliked him on the present moment.

“We both know that I started to train her just now, milord. If I require any  particular assistance with Peggy, I do not believe she would be able to help like I need her to.”

“I must insist…”

“Mr. Grey.” 

He noticed that she would not give in, so he bowed to her and turned down the corridor, jumping each step to get as quickly as he could on the front door, where he asked for a servant to call the groom and ask him to prepare his horse.

And he waited, quietly, listening to the merry sounds of the party behind closed doors and paying attention to any other sound coming from upstairs.

Was she really in danger? She  didn’t say a word. She was so… quiet. Composed. Peaceful. A true lady, as she walked by, hand in hand with Eleanor.

He  couldn’t truly remember his mother birthing Dottie. After all, he was only six years old, although… He could almost discern the shouting.

“What are you doing?” He saw his cousin’s head pop by the door, with a cup of brandy and an inquisitive look. 

“I… I’m going for a walk.”

“A walk?”

“Yes. A walk.”

William closed the door behind him.

“In this weather?”

“I… Yes. Winter. Cold. Good for thoughts.”

“Even with an injury hand?”

Adam’s changed his look to the hand wrapped in bandages.

“Oh, for God’s Sake, William. It is a crime to go for a walk on Christmas Eve?”

He was too close now, turning the brandy on his cup, startling to close from the brim.

“I’m not an idiot. You do know.”

Shit .

“You truly believe that I would be sitting by Baron Berbroke, gladly chatting about the new horse he bought in London, while, slowly, my wife, Miss MacDonnell, Mrs. Fraser, and you disappearEd in the quiet of the night?”

Shit  shit shit .

“I may have thought that your glass braking so suddenly after Miss MacDonnell joined us for dinner was just a coincidence. I never thought you would be an actual idiot to injure your hand just to find a way to smuggle Mr. Fraser’s wife out of a full room.”

Fuckery .

“You will tell me what you three are planning right now or…”

“You three?” It was the only thing that Adam thought he would be able to say.

“Yes, sir. You three. I can see my wife’s fingerprints all over this plan and it is better be good, or she will hear it.” He chugged the brandy, in anger. “I do not like to be left alone, hearing some nonsense about Arabic horses while there is a masterplan happening behind my back.”

Well. He needed to say. Adam always knew, by the time Mrs. Fraser asked for him to call for the midwife, that William needed to know.

It was his wife, after all. His little girl, yet to be born.

How could he go behind the poor’s man back, while he gave him… so much?

“I’m going to fetch a midwife.” Adam decided to blurt. “Your wife is in labor.”

He never saw someone going upstairs so quickly.


	29. A lady in snow

_December, 1780_

Adam watched as William ran upstairs. He was unsure of what to do. Should he follow his cousin? Should he wait for him? Surely, he would like to accompany Adam in his quest for the midwife… After all, it was the birth of his little girl and he would make sure she was born safely.

However… Perhaps he would like to stay with Peggy. Hold her hand, while they waited for his cousin to arrive with help. Take care of her… Or just… Be there for her. That was what Adam would do, after all.

If Ellie was giving birth to his firstborn… He would like to stay by her side. Although… He smiled to nothing at all… Ellie surely would have the easiest birth of all. Long flowing red hair just hanging around her, damp with sweat, cheeks flushed and those green eyes sparkling with joy.

It was like he was staring through a window of multiple possibilities. Of dreams that he never thought he would be able to reach. It filled his heart with joy, even though his mind tried to call him back to earth, show him that the woman he loved was, in fact, quite mad at him and, most likely, would never forget or forgive what he tried to do with her.

“Milord?” A voice called from outside. “Your horse is ready.”

He looked to the pale groomsman leaving the premises, running away from the cold and the slow, twirling snow that was falling over their heads. Far away, he could hear the merry singing of the Christmas party, unbeknownst of what was happening just above their heads.

It was the perfect Christmas Eve. The wind was chilling, but new life was coming and it was enough to make his bones warm and give him the courage to travel to the village, some miles ahead, and fetch the midwife.

Adam adjusted his hat and gloves, walking towards the animal. With a swing, he mounted the horse, which accepted the heavy burden of its rider with grace and dignity, ready to go wherever they needed it to be.

Before he turned to the pathway leading to the road ahead, Adam decided to look up, glancing at the wide window above his head. It was open, the curtains slowly moving with the wind, no signs of screaming or danger coming from the sanctuary Mrs. Fraser had created.

All would be well. And, yet…

He kicked the horse and started to move.

“WAIT!” A voice called from behind and he turned, once more, to see the cloaked vision of Ellie running towards him. His instinct was to run towards her, as well, watching as the tip of her delicate feet showed under the hem of her skirts, her arms stretched in his direction, asking to be held… And, then… He remembered what he was supposed to be doing and, for a minute, he chilled, waiting for the worst. With his heart up in his mouth, Adam barely asked:

“Is something… wrong?”

She shook her head, getting closer. His heart returned to its beating, gladly. And, yet… She was there, lovely under the dark night, her green eyes black as the sky above their heads.

“Why are you here, Ellie?” He couldn’t help but ask. After all that mess…

“I’m coming with you.”

He should have been glad. He should have been relieved. It was a moment of joy, after all, he would be feeling her between his legs, again, her sweet smell entering his nostrils… And yet, he was obliged to point out:

“You are needed there. With Peggy.”

“No, I’m not.” She said, quite bitterly.

“Yes, you are.” He shook his head, in disbelief. “You’re going to help Mrs. Fraser in the colonies, after all. What better way to start then with a birth?”

He felt compelled to point out the fact she was leaving the country, leaving him, to stay with the doctor and her brute of a husband. It seemed petty, as he spoke those words, watching as she blinked, quite surprised by her decision herself.

“I would only be on their way.”

Adam could imagine the doctor going about her business, so used to it that she functioned almost automatically, while William covered Peggy with attention. Ellie would be unsure of what to do, or what to say, next to the large window, watching as he left for an important duty.

“It was you who opened the window.”

She looked up, almost she was making sure it rested open.

“Yes.” She shrugged like it was nothing. “It was the best I could do.”

He could understand her, now. Well. Almost. After all, she didn’t want to stay on their way, however…

“But why? Why come with me?”

She hesitated, just to walk next to him and say, looking at the snow-covered ground.

“You’re injured. You should not ride a horse.”

She thought about him. About his hand and the careful stitches that she placed on the palm. Stitches that still burnt against his cold skin, not with the trauma of the injury, but with… lust for her touch.

“And your solution was… to come with me?” Why did he keep saying nonsense?

She nodded, placing one hand near his leg. He felt her little finger brushing ever so slightly and his heart skipped a beat.

“I will guide the horse for you. That way, you can’t use your injured hand and will not undo all my hard work.”

She blinked to him, so close, that he could just lean, holding her head with his hand and…

“Why you just don’t go all by yourself, then?”

He was ready for her to cuss at him. Call him a mindless buffoon or whatever new swearing she made up on her mind that same morning. However… she smiled and that smile melted his heart.

“Last time I was all by myself on the road, I was attacked by a ruffian.”

He smiled as well, remembering their first encounter. It was impossible not to smile in face of the sun, so resplendent and warm in front of him. So close to his reach…

“I would say that it was the ruffian who got attacked by a little girl.”

Adam saw her eyes sparkle with amusement. Could she be…?

“Come on, milady. We’re on a quest!”

____________________________

She felt… lonely. Lonely and sad and stupid, watching William hold his wife with such care, doing the same job she was doing some minutes ago. Mrs. Fraser was by the corner, preparing her instruments for the ordeal. Usually, a birth could last for hours and she would want to be prepared for any problem they could encounter.

It was like she was standing, once again, outside the great window from the new castle at Glengarry. Once again, people that were not her family were sharing a deep and meaningful moment while she stood there, awkwardly, against the cold glass.

She looked down, finding Adam standing by the entrance, his bright blond hair being covered by tiny, soft, snowflakes. One hand was covered by his glove while the other was just with the bandages that she had so carefully tied around his injuries.

She did try to not think so much of him. After all, she was still quite resentful of everything that happened with them, although… She always thought the best policy was to forgive and forget. She was, indeed, going to a new land, far away from memories and heartbreak. The last thing she should do to him was to truly… get over the past.

However, still lingering, in a deep corner of her mind, there was something that pulled her against him. The same piece that was so in awe by his mere presence, enamored by the way the candlelight hit his features, the way he frowned as she stitched him up.

The way he had said he missed her.

Ellie crossed her arms over her torso, almost as she was protecting her heart against Adam’s beautiful face.

Perhaps, it was not only his face that enchanted her so. There was something on the way he volunteered to help, going to the village just to fetch the midwife when one of the servants could do the same job easily…

It was most… honorable.

She smirked, thinking of a time when she thought he was a true and proper knight. A man who would take her into safety, despite all the troubles she caused along the way.

And now… He was there, alone in the dark and the cold, going to somewhere far away. Would he be alright? His hand was still injured… He really shouldn’t be using it to guide the horse.

She glanced at the couple, joined by the happiness of childbirth and to Mrs. Fraser who was still very occupied with her instruments. Perhaps… It would be better if… It was not like she wanted to do that, but it was the least she could do.

They would be fine without her.

It was just for a moment.

A mere second.

Quickly enough she would be back to Ellesmere Park.

She opened the windows and waited. She knew they would come. They would always come. Although Ellie could never see them, she felt their presence. The rustling sound of the leaves, the fresh smell of pines, the tingling in her back, denounced that she was not alone.

They were there, with her. Her family. The only family she was left with.

She never quite believed in the crazy stories surrounding her birth and her mother. However…

“I’m leaving this place but you can’t come with me.” She whispered to the wind, hearing an owl hoot somewhere close to the house. “You need to stay with Peggy and protect her during her time.”

The howl of a beast, far too close, startled her, like the deities around her were protesting her resolution.

“Please.” She whispered, closing her eyes.

All stood still and for a split of a second, there was nothing around her. There was no crackling on the fire, no hoots or chirps, or the howling of the wind. There was darkness and stillness, until… Until she felt warm.

The feeling startled her, making her open her eyes to see the world starting to move once again. They had agreed. They would stay with Peggy.

Without saying a word to all those in the room, she turned to the door, running as fast as she could in her leather boots, taking a cloak from her room nearby while praying that she reached Adam before he could…

He was leaving when she screamed for him to wait.

He turned around, confused, and suddenly frightened. He almost choked when he asked if something was amiss and she was his face melting when she denied, unable to say anything, due to all the running she had to do. And, at the same time, his brows got together, questions printed in his face, as he asked what she was doing there.

Not even Ellie knew exactly what she was doing there, in a cloak, with the man that had broken her heart. Good sense forced her to go back and barricade in her room until he was far away… And yet… She just couldn’t possibly let him go up on that horse and use his injured hand.

The hand she had touched.

The hand that she had cared about.

“And your solution is… come with me?” He asked and there was something in his eyes that made her remember the man she knew. The man she loved.

_Stop that._

_You are taking care of your patient, just like Mrs. Fraser asked you to…_

And yet… she felt like all her reasoning were based on lies. Stories that she repeated to herself, in hopes that one day she would truly believe in them.

“Why you just don’t go all by yourself, then?”

It was impossible to not just go back to that very night, where she was so scared and alone… And even then… She decided it was a good idea to tackle a drunkard and steal his horse.

“Come on, milady. We’re on a quest!”

And she lost her breath, in face of a true knight.

___________________________

_December 1447_

It was the night before Christmas and not a mouse was moving inside the monastery. Lord Gordon Wallace had lost his counts of how many monasteries he and his man had raided in the middle of the night.

This had been going on for days, now. He got used to lurking during the night, avoiding roads during the day and hoping for the best, to find that damned girl at once, before the king’s troops found them.

For now, at least, the girl was far gone from his sight and so was the English army.

He heard the hoot that could have been from an owl, but he knew it as the sign for him to come closer. There was no sign that his men had invaded the holy premises, besides the open gate and the weird silence.

They were all holy men, after all, who had learnt to love every creature and not raise any weapon, even it meant if it was their sole defense from any attacks. As Lord Wallace entered the courtyard, each guard brought half a dozen monks, all looking scared and confused.

“Where is she?” The lord asked, in a low voice, watching all the broken figures kneel on the floor.

Silence.

“Where. Is. She?” He raised his voice, which prompted him to choke and gasp, looking for air.

He was getting weaker by the day.

And yet… No answer.

“Milord.”

A voice came from behind, calling for Wallace’s attention. He could barely see his faithful servant face behind the hood of his cloak.

“I sense… Magic.”

Despite Wallace himself being unable of sensing anything of such kind, he saw a stir coming from the group of monks ahead.

They knew something.

Wallace got closer to the group, watching each face, looking for something that could betray whatever they were hiding. Yet, they remain very still, avoiding his eyes, mumbling, under their breath, prayers.

“You’re hiding something from me.”

More mumbling, getting louder and louder, the sound of Latin words occupying the space.

He was getting tired of it.

“Milord!” A soldier came running from somewhere on their right, beyond the stables. “There is someone hiding in the church!”

_Victory, at last._

She was there, hoping that the protection of the holy walls would be enough to contain her husband. She would be there, praying under her breath, claiming to God above that the monks kept their silence, face death in exchange for her safety.

He walked to where the young soldier pointed to, an old stone construction, that could have well been sitting there since the beginning of time. A dim light appeared from one of its mosaics, a shadow crossed one of the walls.

 _It was her_.

He pulled the great wooden door, to no avail. It was heavily locked from the inside. He pulled over and over again and nothing happened.

“Simon.” He called. “If you please.”

A group of men came with a wagon, filled with products that they most probably sold in the village nearby or to the Ellesmere estate, some miles ahead. It was a small wooden construction, not more than a hunting cabin deep in the woods, as the Baron Ellesmere was known for being a terrible hunter and a great appreciator of the worldly pleasures back at the court.

The wagon collided with the door with a thud, and the door kept closed. Another time and another followed until he heard a loud crack. The light coming from the inside reached the small group and he could hear the breathless prayer coming from inside.

_There is nowhere to hide now, little girl._

Another thud and the door went to the floor, its pieces covering the old stones on the ground. However, there was no red-haired girl praying by the pulpit. There was only a very old man, holding tightly to the ancient baptismal font like it was his salvation board.

“Where is she?”

The monk, with his fluffy white hair, that resembled clouds, and opaque eyes, turned to Wallace, confused and scared.

“There is no woman in our monastery, milord. We are monks, living…”

“She is here. My sorcerer said so.”

The monk could not be more livid.

“You bring a pagan…”

“I do not care for your God, priest.” Answered the cloaked men behind Wallace. “I care for what I see and for what the Gods, the true Gods, bring to me. They’ve told me that she would be here, the English rose and the Scottish thistle mingled together.”

“Milord.” Said the man, turning to Lord Wallace. “Do not listen to the delirium of sinners. The thistle is common in the border and the rose… Milord, we are in England. Every good Christian grows the English Rose, the symbol of our true king…”

Silence. Wallace stood in silence, while John, the cloaked man, walked around, in circles, sniffing the air like a hound.

“There is magic in this church, milord.” He sniffed, walking towards the monk, that has shrunk inside his robes. “Ancient magic, wild magic… The same magic that we’ve seen by…” He stopped. “Could it be? Is this what you hide, priest? Old magic?”

“IT IS NOT MAGIC, YOU FOOL!” The monk screamed, in anguish. “IT IS THE LORD’S WAY TO HEAVEN!”

The cloaked man lost his breath, in ecstasy.

“What is he saying, John?” Wallace asked, getting closer to where the monk still stood, hugging the stone.

“If I’m correct, milord. He is talking about far older magic than I expected. Something raw, something… uncertain. Answer me, priest, this path to heaven… Only the chosen can transverse it?”

The monk choked and tried to close his mouth, but the cloaked man soon was there, pulling him from the stones, harshly.

“ANSWER ME, PRIEST.”

“Dominus regit me, et nihil mihi deerit…” The monk babbled, closing his eyes, forehead resting against the floor. “In loco pascuæ, ibi me collocavit…”

A loud thud came from where the monk’s nose once stood. Now, a bloody mess was in the middle of his face, while his white, fluffy, cotton-like hair was being held by the cloaked man, ready to bang it again against the floor.

“YES!” The priest screamed. “Only the good, the pure of heart can go. It is a place where is no disease, no pain, no hunger, the sky formed by diamonds…”

“Diamonds?” The cloaked man asked, close to the priest’s ears.

“Y-ye-yes.” He choked, the sound muffled by the blood coming from his nose. “To pass, we must bring jewels to dress heaven and draw the marvelousness of our lord’s realm.”

“And, may I guess, only the dying can go?”

No answer was needed, as the cloaked man smiled to his lord, joy flowing through his veins.

He knew where the girl was.


	30. A lady in doubt

_December 1780_

How could things be more awkward?

There she was, sitting sideways in front of him, her heavy, red hair bouncing with each step. She had that particular smell, that reminded him of green grass, rainwater, and… strawberries.

It entered his nostrils and invaded his mind. She was all over his skin, the curve of her bottom slowly brushing against his crotch, his torso pressed against her back, her feet touching his own.

And yet.

He couldn’t talk.

She was quiet, perhaps rethinking the situation, wishing that she didn’t offer to guide the horse to the village. The only reaction he was able to take from her was the sighs, short and contained under her breath, every time his hand brushed her waist.

They were going on for a while, with only the snow and the wind as company. It was an awfully quiet night, not a hoot of an owl to be heard from miles. Not even his own horse was being communicative, being so different from the vibrant personality that convinced Adam, in an alcohol stupor, to purchase it back at Tattersall’s.

The night was dark and he couldn’t see a star above his head. Every time he moved his gaze from the small figure in front of him, he was greeted by snowflakes, wet and cold in his cheeks. Another blow of wind ruffled their feathers, jamming snow in their bodies and making Ellie shiver.

Without thinking, he pulled her closer to his body and felt her cold self get warm and soft between his legs. Even though he could feel each and every muscle in her body surrender to his personal heat, he heard her say, in a low voice:

“There is no need…”

“You were cold.” He answered before she had the chance to finish the phrase.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine. I’ve seen worse.”

“Well.” He paused, glancing at her cheek. “I’ve never seen such bad weather.”

“Oh, please…” Eleanor scorned in front of him. “Just a bit of snow, it is going to melt by morning, for sure. Look at how light it is…”

“I was born in London. When we have snow, it is just for a day or two and, most of the time, by the end of the week, it is just a pile of black mud in a corner.”

She laughed and his heart rejoiced.

“Good Lord!” She said. “How could you deal with such a depressing season?”

“It is quite easy when you forget where you are. I would spend a lot of time with my brothers, thinking of ways to piss Dottie off. We had time on our hands, a big garden and… I…”

Suddenly, he lost his words. He missed his brothers and his sister. He missed playing with them, running around the property like a small group of maniacs, with his mother screaming on the top of her lungs for them to stop throwing frogs in his sister.

With all his hurt and loneliness, he had forgotten about Ben. So worried about his own problems, he dismissed the miracle that was his brother appearing out of nowhere. He was there, right by the corner, with his lovely and graceful wife, just… waiting for him.

“I…” She started to say but paused, startled.

“Go on.” He tried.

“That is none of my business.”

“Your opinion is important to me.”

He could see her back stiffening against his torso.

“Mr. Grey, it would be better if we leave some… subjects… behind.”

He just couldn’t leave what he had to say behind. For a moment he thought he could. When she left him at the staircase, when he spent days without seeing her... It was… reasonable… that he would spend all his days without saying to her what was in his throat.

However…Staying away from her did the opposite to what he thought it would do: it only pulled them closer. The barriers that once were so insurmountable were breaking in front of them: his heartbreak pulled his father closer to him and their relationship was… almost… healed.

He didn’t fear loving and being loved anymore.

Adam was still unsure if he deserved Ellie. She was far too good for him. A brave woman, powerful, strong, beautiful, and smart. But now… Now he would give his best to prove himself worthy of her.

He would bring her gifts every day. He would use his own hands to plow his land and make them wealthy. He would love and care each for of his children and would never let them go out of his sight. They would be raised to be the best of men and women and God would be his witness.

“Eleanor…” He whispered, feeling an urgent need to touch her beautiful face. “We need to talk. You need to listen.”

Her head moved half an angle.

“Nothing changed.”

She lied, he could see by the way her eyelids fluttered.

“You are here. You came to me, Ellie.” He whispered, pulling her closer, almost fusing their bodies together. “How could you say that nothing had changed?”

He heard her releasing her breath, slowly, shaky, and Adam noticed that he still held his own, waiting, just waiting…

“Adam…” She whispered, out of breath.

Her head moved, just an inch, just enough for him to brush his nose against her velvety skin. The contact sent the butterflies loose in his stomach and made her shiver, harshly, even though they couldn’t feel the cold anymore.

But before she could answer, he raised his gaze to the light getting stronger in front of him.

The village, after all.

The talk would have to wait.

________________________

Thankfully, they reached the village.

If she had been one more minute listening to his soft words in her ear, she would have given in. Even with all the hurt and pain, she would have turned her head, just a quarter of an inch, and her lips would be there, close to his own. A kiss. There was all she needed.

She had lost her head.

Ellie would blame the weather, so cold that was probably freezing her good senses.

Or maybe was Peggy’s birth and the vision of a family, united by blood and love.

Or maybe it was even the danger, the probability of something not going right, that made her think about second chances and opportunities…

Or maybe…

Maybe…

Eleanor just realized that she missed him.

She was so angry by the game he was playing that she only thought about her pain. She didn’t even acknowledge his own issues… Adam had suffered, probably, more than anyone on that house.

He had lived a golden childhood, relegated to his role of a second son. Ben would be the heir, Henry would always be the baby brother and Dottie was the little lady. He didn’t have to study and develop like Ben was forced to, as he would grow to be a knight, a distinguished position that would be able to provide for him and his future family.

Then… War came and the three Grey brothers were off to war. The only one who came back was Adam, with a sick father that could, no longer, take care of the lands he owned and a broken-hearted mother, that would never forget the loss of her favorite child.

Adam grew. He developed. He learned the trade and he learned to love the land and his tenants.

And suddenly… He had nothing anymore. Feeling forgotten by his own family, abandoned by the army, not a single penny in his name… Ellie could understand. The heartbreak. The negligence.

The feeling of never be good enough.

But could she forgive and forget? Surrender to him one more time as nothing had happened?

“I will ask about her in the tavern.” He said as they approached, with the horse, a buzzy cottage filled to the brim with people.

“I will follow.”

“Ellie, please.” He begged, turned around, before jumping awkwardly from the horse. It was hard when someone only had one good hand. “I will be quick. It is better if you don’t go near a place like…”

“Nonsense.” She pointed out. “After all, someone needs to open the door for you.”

She left the horse in a storm of petticoats and snowflakes, running to the main door and help him out. However, as soon she got closer, the door was pushed open and three men fell on the ground, fists finding every inch of soft flesh, knees hitting groins, feet kicking aimlessly.

Before the group fell over Ellie’s tiny body, Adam pulled her to his arms, covering her body with his own and keeping a safe distance from the babbling mass. The fight called the attention of the others inside the tavern and, right now, every single person was leaving the comfort of a heated room to the courtyard in front of it.

“You fucking bastard! Keep your tongue inside your mouth!”

“A whore! That is the truth!”

“Someone call the preacher!”

“Someone call the earl!”

“Look at those two, fighting like kids! What will Annie think about it?”

“I think we should go in.” Adam pointed out, as more and more people started to gather around the group, some courageous souls trying to pull them apart.

“I think we should.” She agreed, still in his arms, as they walked to the cozy and merry room in front of them.

Small chairs, small tables, small cups. Everything was child-size or felt so. The intricate work on the wood looked like something foreign. Even though Ellie never left her Scottish yard, she would often hear the stories and visit the monastery nearby.

The monks were from Bavaria, a region next to France, where they spoke a funny language, very harsh on the consonants and with long words. Her heart melted a little bit, as she traced the woodwork with her fingers, drawing the birds and the vines, so similar to those she had seen before, when she would come with her father, to trade.

They never spoke to her directly, but they were always there, long and somber clothes, often brown or black, heads shaved, jolly smiles on their faces. They would offer her biscuits and wave goodbye, saying something that she didn’t understand.

“Meg, go get the sheriff. Bernard and Tom are fighting again.” The keeper screamed and a woman’s voice answered back from the back.

“Good God, will they destroy our furniture every day like that?”

“Excuse me.” Adam interrupted the discussion, prompting the keeper to glance at him, confused as to why he was not at the courtyard, enjoying the fight.

“Yes. May I help you, milord?” The man said, watching with interest Adam’s clothes and Ellie, still hidden in his arms. Suddenly, she noticed the situation and tried to move away from his grip, but his arm was tight on her elbow.

“We are looking for the midwife. If you may assist us.”

The keeper looked intrigued at Ellie, his eyes darting to the middle of her torso, which prompted the girl to blush like a maiden. Not really seeing anything to satisfy his curiosity, the man decided to turn back to Adam.

“Take the left on the square ahead and go all the way down. It is a small house, with a willow in front of it.” He paused, scratching his beard. “If the fire is on, she will be in there. If not…”

He shrugged like it was not his fault that the midwife had a job to be done in such late hours.

“Thank you, sir.” He said, fumbling with his injured hand something in his pocket and, finally, finding and leaving some coins for the man. Adam turned to leave, but the keeper interrupted.

“If I were you, milord…” He paused, scratching, scratching, and scratching. “If I were you, I would take the shortcut through the old monastery to get back to the road. This fight will go on for a while and, soon, the sheriff will be here. And he doesn’t like newcomers. If you know what I mean.”

_____________________

“I found it, milord.”

Gordon Wallace turned and saw the young soldier coming with a small chest in his hands. He seemed to be thrilled and that feeling gave the hope that Wallace needed.

He would find his bride.

The boy placed the chest on the stone floor of the old church and opened it with a flourish. Gems, of all colors and sizes, stared at him, sparkling by the candlelight, teasing him to grab and take them to safety.

This would never happen.

“That is all we need?” He asked the hooded figure behind him. “Pretty stones?”

John, his most loyal servant and a practitioner of the old magic, came forward, eyes sparkling like the jewels in front of him.

“No, milord.” He answered. “Although the stones are important to maintain the soul enclosed to the traveler’s body, it is not only what it takes. Many accounts attest that it is best to be done during the alignment of the planets when the stream of light is increased and power up the stones within the circle.”

“Do not tell me that I will have to wait for this certain alignment, John.” He coughed on his sleeve, blood dripping from his mouth. “I do not have the time.”

“Do not fret, milord. Today is the winter solstice, the longest night of the year. The right moment for the cark forces to act on our behalf.”

“Good, good.” He said, walking towards the chest and taking a big, red gem in his grubby little hands, playing with it as he walked towards the baptismal font the priest was protecting so dearly.

“Wait, milord.”

“There are far too many rules, John.”

“I beg your pardon, milord, but a sacrifice must be made. To please the Gods.”

That was not a problem for him, who fought battles and saw the despair for a blade piercing a human body from within some inches. He saw the disease that stalked, hand in hand, taking to the otherworld the bodies of those who were lucky enough to not die in the hands of the enemy.

He was immune to pain and suffering. He did not care about who lived or who died, as long he remained, as still as time itself.

Death was the only way.

“Bring me the priest.”

He heard the screams, the loud murmurs coming from where the bloody mass which once was the priest was left amongst his companions. They screamed and shouted, begging for God to be merciful, to be kind, to welcome them in heaven.

He knew no one would listen.

Only Him could listen. And he would only be woken from his eternal slumber by the smell of fresh blood.

The soldier made the priest kneel and Wallace waited.

“And now what?”

“A stroke, milord, deep and certain in the neck, so the blood can flow on the stones.”

He nodded.

That was what it took.

The soldier that stood behind Wallace pulled his sword in a fluid motion and before they could even realize what happened, a piece of the priest’s neck was gone, the blood gushing and dripping around them, staining his robes and tinting the font red.

As the blood entered the stonework in it, Wallace could hear. It was faint, like it was coming from a place behind the stone walls of the monastery. But it grew louder and louder, like the buzzing of passing bees or the calling of war drums.

It called his core, his center.

And it called from the font.

A group of soldiers, no more than four, took the chest and passed one gem to each hand, for, at last, form a circle around Wallace and the hooded figure. John’s acolytes were taught the ancient way of dark magic and warfare, so that they would follow their masters to wherever they were needed.

“Now what?” Wallace asked, with a hoarse voice.

“Now we go.”


	31. A lady in danger

_December 1780_

“Oh, no!” Ellie exclaimed as soon as they saw the small cottage appear down the street.

It was clear as day: no one was there. The windows were closed, no signal of smoke coming out of the chimney or the faint light of candles appearing from the corners and crooks of the house.

All was quiet and still like it was supposed to be.

“Indeed…” Adam commented as they reached the house. The leafless branches of the willows were swinging with the wind, like the tentacles of a sea creature. He got close to the wooden gate, got off the horse, and tried to take the reins of her hand.

“Excuse me.” Ellie complained, hopping off the animal and trying, herself, the reins on the fence. “This is my job if you don’t remember…”

“Sure, sure…” He mumbled, appearing to be miles away from her. His eyes were fixed on the house, as he pushed open the gate and walked towards it.

“Adam, forget it, she is not home.” She called, following him, shivering from the cold and worried about Peggy and the baby.

“Mrs. Fraser is counting on us, Ellie.” He answered, glancing at the closed windows and listening to the silent murmur of the wind behind.

“Surely…”

He knocked and she stopped, waiting, wishing for the door to be opened and the plump, merry view of the midwife appearing in front of her.

Nothing.

“See? She is not home. The best we can do is go back, as soon as possible and help with the birth.” She said, anxious, as he knocked one more time, louder.

Nothing.

“Adam.” She called, as he knocked, insistently, on the door.

As he knocked quicker and stronger, the silence that responded got louder and louder.

“Adam, please.” She begged, placing a hand on his arms, which took him out of his knocking trance.

“We need to bring her to Ellesmere Park.” He complained, a hand over the wood panel, like he was sensing where the midwife went.

“There is nothing we can do, Adam. She is clearly not home and with that fight in town… I don’t really think anyone knows where she went.”

He stood very quiet, nails scratching the surface of the door, eyes lost somewhere. And then, he spoke, softly and calmly.

“I… I’m tired of disappointing people around me.”

It was like she was punched on the stomach.

“Oh, Adam.”

It was difficult to be mad at him, especially when he said such things.

“No one will be disappointed at you… In fact… I…”

She paused, unsure if she could go on. Since that fight on the stairs, they had not been on good terms and, in fact, no one tried to apologize to each other for the painful and hurtful things they had said.

She didn’t feel like she was supposed to be the one coming forward and trying to mend fences.

Ellie didn’t want to mend fences. She didn’t want him back, she didn’t want to feel his mouth over hers, his body covering her own, feeling his fingers play with her hair.

She didn’t missing arguing with him. The witty banter, the way he made her flush, heavily. How she dreaded that cocky side smile, the way he would flirt with her every waken moment…

“I…”

Why she had suddenly lost the ability to speak?

“I tried to apologize.” He said, taking advantage of the silence. “With you. I… I was not right and the only thing I had to say in my defense is that… I was a fool that couldn’t look behind my own problems.”

Ellie lost her breath, watching Adam turn to her, brows furrowed and the bright blue eyes melting with…

“I should’ve said that sooner. Gladly I was able to spit it out before you left with the Frasers.”

Oh, Adam.

“I… I…” She choked on the words, unsure of what to say. “Thank you.”

He smiled, watching as her hand pressed his arm in urgency, her brows frowned watching his eyes. He opened his mouth, slightly, to say something else, but was interrupted, suddenly, by the loud sounds coming from the end of the street.

“Where are they?”

Clearly, the sheriff had arrived with reinforcements, looking for the mob that made such a mess on the village’s only tavern.

“We should go.” She whispered as they turned the eyes to the flash of light coming from the end of the road.

“Perhaps, it is better. The last thing we need is to arrive late and midwifeless to the birth of my godson.”

“Your godson?” She asked, raising one eyebrow. She forgot how easy was to talk with him.

“Of course.” He answered back, with that side smile she used to adore. “I’ve not crossed the county to get the midwife before Christmas just to be relegated to the job of uncle.”

She giggled and they glanced once more at the confusion that was happening in the center of the town.

“Should we catch the shortcut by the monastery?” He asked as the noises got louder. “Or should we try to walk through this mess?”

______________________

The road passing by the monastery was quieter than he expected. He couldn’t even hear the murmur from the wind, the snowflakes hitting them in the face, while the other animals, smarter than the knight and his fair lady, were hiding from the cold.

Not even the owls, that love the stillness of the night to catch the quiet rodents, were creeping at them, while the horse walked, nervously, in the path covered with dried vines.

The silence worried Ellie, who was restless in front of him, her head going to one side and the other, staring at the dark shadows, considering that the far glimpse of white snow was the only light that lit the way. Her limbs were tense, her eyes blinking fast and her mouth was compressed in two thin lines.

“Are you expecting the big bad wolf?” He joked, suddenly, which prompted her to relax a bit.

Did she… enjoy the sound of his voice?

“As a matter of fact…” She whispered, so faintly, that could almost be mistaken by the sound of snow falling on the ground. “I am not. However… Don’t you think that this road is rather… quiet? And dark?”

He also felt this strange feeling, despite his mind kept telling him to relax. The stillness was never an issue for the military. It was a good thing, that allowed him to hear the small cracks and thumps of feet coming towards him. And yet, since he met Ellie, he knew his gut was wrong, most of the time.

“Did you see that?” She asked, pulling the reins and halting the horse.

He searched in the distance for anything, but there was only snow, old trees, and darkness in front of them.

“There is nothing there, Ellie.”

She stood very still for a while before she kicked the horse with her heels and started moving again.

“I do not like it.” She whispered to him. “We should have gone through town.”

“You saw the mob in the town square! We would have gotten in trouble and would not get back in time.”

“We will not get back in time. It is so dark in here… By the time we get safe and sound to Ellesmere Park, the baby will be, already, in its father’s arms.” She paused, looking suddenly to the right. “If we survive the thing that is following us.”

Adam wanted to say that nothing was following them and yet he felt like there were several pairs of eyes fixed on his back.

“Do you want to go to the monastery and wait for a while?” He asked as she shook her head in denial.

“It is best if we just go ahead. At least we are over a horse, more protected than if we were on foot.” She answered, making the horse walk faster, even though it was dark and it could trip over anything hidden by the snow. “And… Well, I don’t like the monastery.”

“Why?” He asked, confused. “It is just a bunch of old stones. The worst thing it did to me, when I was young, was to make me trip over some vines and hit my knee on one old tomb.”

She didn’t answer and the silence made Adam worried.

Had she gone there? Had someone tried to do something with her on that old site?

And then…

“The sound. It calls me back. Back to… when I belong.”

He felt his back chilling, like ice had been dripping on the collar of his shirt. From the innumerous things his mind tried to convince him he shouldn’t believe so easily, the first and foremost was the secret that he didn’t even dare to say out loud.

She came from the past.

Although he didn’t believe her, he never confronted her delusions, even when he was willing to make her his mistress. And, right now, as he had her in his arms, wishing they could mend their fences for good, he wanted to believe her.

That is why he said that:

“I believe in you.”

And once again, the horse halted.

“Excuse me?”

“I believe in you.” He repeated and he watched as she moved around, staring at him in complete shock.

“You said you didn’t.” She blinked. “Before.”

“Things changed.”

She was shivering. For some time, she just stared at him, flabbergasted and confused, brows furrowed and eyelids trembling. Just before he thought she would not say anything else, she whispered, faintly:

“You broke my heart.”

It was like he was hit on the groin by her words. Adam lost his breath and stood in silence, while she breathed loudly. He had nothing to say… The best thing he could offer her was his excuses, which were murmured outside the midwife's home.

He was a fool and an idiot. He didn't deserve her and, most probably, never will. He loved her with all his heart and would give the sun and the moon to have her back.

But that was not his decision.

It was entirely hers.

So, he waited for her feelings to be disclosed, one way or another. The referendum to his final quest. The words that would seal his heart forever. Finally, Ellie let out a long sigh and turned back to him:

“I miss you.”

It was faint in her mouth and sweet on her lips. His heart lost the beat and he felt like he would never catch his breath again.

“I miss you, Adam… But you made me cry.”

He felt like he was being shredded in little pieces, as her sweet voice was being murmured in his ear and her eyes searched for his own.

“I was a fool.” It was the only comprehensible thing that left his lips. “I was a fool, Ellie. I never deserved you… You were too good for me… And yet… I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

He had found her eyes. Or what he thought were her eyes, sparkling, faintly, in the darkness. He wanted to read her emotions, discover her secrets, understand the reason why she had been telling him all those secrets that were buried deep in her soul.

“I’m tired…” Her breath was warm. “I’m tired of trying to think straight, to think rationally, to avoid you. I can’t avoid you anymore, Adam. I… I… Need you.”

She was so close that she only needed to move forward an inch for her lips to touch his. It was soft like rose petals, brushing lip against lip, anxiously, curiously, tenderly. It was like they were fitting the broken pieces like it was never shattered into tiny little particles.

It was easy to lose himself in her flavor, on the tip of her tongue touching his. So easy that he barely noticed the faint shadows moving away from the trees, like it was part from the mossy trunk, going towards the couple on the horse. He barely noticed the formation of soldiers and the low, raspy cough that came from the darkness.

“If you please, Sir, get your hands off my bride.”

_____________________________

Ellie heard the voice and froze instantly. She thought she would never hear him again… He was long gone, lost to the centuries, and yet… he was there, staring at her with a satisfied smile like a hungry wolf looked at its prey.

He was older than ever. Back when she was at home, he already looked like he was on the brink of sudden death… Now… Lord Gordon Wallace was pale as the snow surrounding them. He had that sickly, yellow tinge that was deeper than before, creeping to the white of his eyes and made it look like she was staring at a yellow-eyed beast.

That was not even the worst part. His hair was completely gone, so were his eyelashes, eyebrows, and the faint beard he always had. Spots of old age covered his head like the skin of a milky cow. Little veins, purple, red, and green covered his nose to his cheeks, which were flaccid like the ones of a bloodhound.

“Take her.” He commanded, his voice husky and deep like it was coming, as matter of fact, from beyond the grave.

“Wait!” Adam pulled her closer, as the horse, troubled, moved his head around. “Wait just a minute!”

The old man smiled, intrigued.

“What do you have to say, boy? You have my bride, she is my property.”

His injured hand buried in her stomach, making sure she would not be grabbed from him.

“Milord, your claim is very just.” Ellie turned around, startled, staring at the man. “However, Lady Eleanor is under my protection and she has not proven to be married. For what I know, she is an unwed maiden.”

She blushed profusely, sweat dripping from her head. He knew she was married. Not only that, he knew that she ran away from her husband, helped by her brother, and sent centuries away from where she intended to be.

Adam knew. And he was trying to save her.

“So, you see…” Adam continued, so calm that it looked like he was having a chat in the middle of a tavern. The way he spoke, the way his head swung, like a drunkard, transmitted charm all over his pores. “I simply cannot deliver you the Lady, until you prove she is, indeed, your bride. So, I invite you to come with me, to my humble home, until we gather the information, shall we?”

Her heart was beating fast in her chest. He was a bloody genius! Ellesmere Park was filled to the brim, not only with guests from the Christmas festivity but also with a very angry Scottish man and a Father-to-Be.

Gordon Wallace smiled, opening his mouth to say something, just to be interrupted by a fit of cough. Blood splattered down his shirt, to his nuisance. Handkerchiefs were handed out, from the ever so still soldiers, and while the old lord cleaned himself, he just sighed:

“A true knight… Eleanor, you outdid yourself in search of protection. However, I do not have the time to waste at your cottage, sir. I may take my wife back, one way or another.”

He stared at her.

“Come, Eleanor.”

She stood still on the horse, hanging tight to the reins and passing her nervousness to the horse.

“Right now, Eleanor.”

She blinked.

Who he thought he was to treat her like that? He may have married her, but the man who had truly bedded her and treated her like a wife was Adam, holding her tightly, even though his hand was hurt and his sword was nowhere near them.

“No.”

Wallace’s eyebrows were high on his forehead.

“Excuse me?”

She breathed, steadily, to ease her heart.

“I will not go with you. You may have wedded me before a priest, but you never bedded me. As far as I know, you will never will. Your claim is not valid and, for all accounts that matter, I’m not your wife.”

He was angry, his body shivering with hatred.

“Now, you listen here you dumb bitch. You will not stay on my way any longer! Do you think that when I command my man to take you, your little knight will be able to protect you? There are six of us!”

Suddenly, she knew what she had to do. Adjusting her weight, slightly, on the animal, and holding tightly to the reins, she fixed her knees, prepared her ankles, and said:

“I do not need him to protect myself.” She paused, just to watch the anger feeling his old, pale face, with a red blush. “I’m my own knight.”

She kicked the horse so quickly, that it ran, startled, to anywhere with space for it to gallop through. Branches and dried leaves hit them in their faces, while they heard the startled commotion of the soldiers behind.

They would never catch them! The soldiers didn’t have any horses, while they were running like lighting towards the old manor and…

A loud thump came from behind her back, followed by a low complaint from Adam. She moved her head to look around and watched as his forehead was furrowed, confused as to what had happened.

“Adam? What was it?” She asked, receiving no answer.

He just moved his head a little bit, hands starting to get loose around her waist, looking down to the dark mass that was slowly forming by his shoulder. Darker and darker, while they still ran with all the speed to safety, the form showed its true face:

Blood.

They both realized what happened together. Ellie, desperate, tried to hold his hands in her waist, to no avail. The shock had come in waves, that took him down, falling like a ripe apple to the snowy ground, listening to the cheering coming from far away and watching the arrow that stood upright, like a cross, on his back.


	32. A lady is what it takes

_December, 1780_

She didn’t think twice as his body fell on the fresh snow. Ellie jumped over, not caring about the horse that kept running away, desperate to go back home, not really caring about its riders.

“Adam?” She screamed, pulling him closer, trying to turn him to his back. However, with the arrow on his shoulder, every time she tried that, he would yell with pain. At least, with the pain, his eyes were now alert and the shock had left his body. “Oh, God, Adam!”

He blinked, confused, his bright golden hair covered with snow, almost getting away from the ponytail on the nape of his neck. The shock was the only thing that commanded him right now and, slowly, but steadily, the blood spot got bigger by his shoulder.

“How…?” She whispered to herself while holding Adam’s face in the palm of her hand.

They were too far. It was too dark. It was snowing too heavily. For all commonsense, it was impossible for Wallace’s soldiers to find them and have a straight aim to shoot them. However, this was not commonsense. What she was living was, by all means, illogical.

She came to the future at the hands of her younger brother, to escape an abusive husband that wanted to use her to find a mythical creature that, by all accounts, could not exist. His reasoning for doing that was that she was the daughter of a fairy and, for that, she had magical blood.

She found other travelers in the same position as hers, going back and forth on time and space, like Gods.

She was a fool to believe it would be easy to escape Gordon Wallace again.

She could hear the soldiers running to where they were laying, anxious to get their prey. Adam heard them as well:

“Ellie…” He whispered, in panic. “Listen to me: you have to run.”

As they got closer, she noticed how Adam got more anxious, the shock slowly vanishing for a feeling much stronger. It was the same feeling the soldiers would, once, tell her that they felt, just before a battle. It was the feeling of survival.

And in his case, it was the chance of her survival.

“I beg your pardon?” She said, too polite for the moment.

“Go. Run.”

They were coming closer now.

“But you… I can’t leave you with that lunatic!”

“You must.” He tried to push her away, but his left side, injured by the arrow, was too weak. “William and my family will help you. And, more importantly, Mr. Fraser is responsible for you, now. He would do anything…”

“Shut up, you bloody fool!” She screamed, panic filling her lungs. “How could you think that I would save my own arse while you die in snow…”

She gently tried to touch the wound, but he shivered under her touch.

“I promised you something before, Eleanor MacDonnell…”

“You just need to come with me…” She was begging now. “Just lean on me and we can walk together… They are still far away…”

That wasn’t true: they were getting closer and closer, with no hurry whatsoever. The soldiers knew that there was no chance for them to escape now. They could play with their food.

“Listen, Ellie, listen to me.” His breathing was shallow and his face was paler than ever. “Run. Forget me. Save yourself. I would never forgive myself if this man took you. You deserve more. You deserve better. Go. Now. GO!”

She felt her throat dry.

“I can’t.” She whispered. “I simply… I can’t… Adam…”

He tried to shove her, but he was too weak. And, for the first time in her entire life, Ellie felt helpless.

She was trained to fight like her father’s soldiers. To have no fear in the face of danger and do not falter in face of fear. And yet… There she was, staring, almost hypnotized to the hand that shoved her shoulder, while the voices grew louder and louder.

She watched, panicking, as Adam tried to get up and protect her with his body, finally realizing that she was too scared to move altogether. Even then, he failed.

The soldiers came, pushing him away from her body. Adam fought like a bear in rage, kicking and screaming, his good arm throwing punches around, trying to hit everything that was within his reach.

But they were too many and Adam and Peggy were too little.

She observed as he was bounded from head to toe, helpless and so lonely that she could feel the moisture dripping from her cheeks.

She was crying once again.

She had never cried so much since she arrived at this new time.

“The kitty has claws.” She heard, faintly, like it was coming from behind a veil, Lord Gordon speak to her, a cocky smile on his lips. “Now, you see, little girl, you will never, ever, be able to outrun me again.”

She couldn’t speak. Her eyes were still fixed on Adam, pale, tired, and breathing loudly, surrounded by soldiers. His panicked eyes could not believe what he was seeing and he tried to scream, his whole body still trying to break free from its corded prison.

“Now, let’s go back home.”

_______________________

Everything in his body hurt. His shoulder seemed to be in flames and the amount of blood he saw spreading under his vest was alarming. And, for all he knew, medical assistance was far away, giving birth to the future Earl of Ellesmere.

Eleanor was tossed in a corner, frozen and scared, huge green eyes staring at him, shaking to her core. He had two soldiers by his side and another was watching her every move, even though she couldn’t even blink.

He looked around the room, trying to think of a plan. They had moved them through the snow to the old monastery, not really caring about the trail they made. Clearly, the Scottish group didn’t know they were accompanied and could, potentially, have someone looking for them.

Adam tried to glance at the windows, where the broken glass had long gone. He couldn’t be sure about how long they stood outside. Would the Frasers miss them? Will Mrs. Fraser notice their absence, or better yet, the absence of the midwife they were designated to get?

He couldn’t wait for them to come to the rescue. He needed to think more.

Adam searched for things that he could use for weapons, but there was nothing except old pieces of tombstones laying around. If he had not his hands and feet bounded, he could go there and fetch the rock. Right now, he had to think of something else.

“It was there, milord.” Said a soldier coming with a very old and dirt chest. “On the same spot where we buried.”

He couldn’t see what was on the chest, as the soldier opened in front of the old lord, but the man seemed satisfied.

“Fetch the boy, then. We are late.”

The soldiers behind him didn’t hesitate. They took him by the shoulder, which prompted an excruciating pain to spread all over his torso and a faint scream leave his lips. He tried to escape from their hands, but each move made the pain grew stronger.

He was left next to the font, so close that his head almost hit the stone. He couldn’t see what was happening around him, as his only view was grey, dark monuments, and the leathered boots from right ahead.

“Try to make a clean cut. We need the blood to flow, not drip.”

This made Adam try to look up, startled.

_Blood? What blood?_

One soldier left him loose, while the older used all his strength to press him against the floor, pushing his head down at a weird angle. He moved, he wiggled, he tried to glance to the sides and scream.

He was going to be killed.

“Wait!” It was Ellie’s voice. He couldn’t see her, but he heard her, clear as day, and the soldier released his shoulder for an instant. “Don’t hurt him. He has nothing to do with it.”

“Lady Eleanor…” The cloaked man commented from far away. “It is needed so we can go back home…”

“Surely… There must have a solution!” She complained. “You can’t just kill a man just for us to go back in time.”

The man seemed to be losing his patience.

“Unfortunately, milady, the Gods demand fresh blood to…”

“There is no need for blood!”

“Are you suggesting the Gods are wrong?” He was enraged.

“No, your bloody fool!” Adam could sense how desperate she was. “I know because I didn’t need to bloody murder a man to get in here!”

The silence was all around the room and he was able to move his body, just a bit, so he could see what was happening. Ellie was right next to him, between the soldier carrying a large sword and the cloaked man, that wasn’t much pleased.

“Tell me, then, milady, how did you get here.”

“I…” She choked, looking uncomfortable. “I… Well… I…”

“If you can’t give us a proper answer, we will have to keep the execution…”

That made her tongue unroll.

“My brother gave me a stone!”

“We are aware of this necessity. What else?”

Adam saw her bite her lip.

“He gave me a chant to repeat, during the sunset.” She paused, trying to dig the information out of her memory. “Ten times.”

The cloaked man’s attention was all over her, like a bloodhound over a scent. He walked towards her, taking her fragile chin over his small hands and pulling it forward so that he could see her eyes.

“What did he made you sing, my child?”

_____________________

She couldn’t remember. It was almost impossible to think straight with the constant buzzing in her ear. But even without that, she couldn’t remember.

Ellie blinked, dumbfounded, watching that gross, terrifying man stare at her, waiting for her to spill her secrets. And yet… There was nothing to be spilled: she tried to dig her memories, think of what could’ve been said and done, and… alas… the only thing she could remember was Adam, taking her from that horse and his body, heavy and solid over hers.

“You’re wasting my time…” The Lord said, turning to the soldier. “If you please…”

She screamed, pulling in front of the soldier, trying to shove her body between the blade and the man doomed on the floor.

“WAIT! Wait!” She begged, turning her head slightly, just so that she could see her former husband. “Please, please… I beg you…”

“You just have to tell me what your brother asked you to sing.”

Silence. Only the anxious beating of her heart was to be heard in that room.

“Milord… I… I don’t remember…” She choked, while her mind tried to work, fast.

“That’s a pity…” He began to say, only to be stopped by a fit of coughing. “Now, if you please step to the side, girl… I’m out of time and out of patience…”

That was it.

Maybe it was just divine inspiration. She knew that by any normal circumstances, she would never have such a bright idea.

“Milord…” She used her most sweet and condescending voice. “I understand your hurry to travel back home, considering your condition… However, to achieve what you are looking for, you do not need to travel through the stones.”

He was paying attention.

“Go on.”

“Our time is outdated and narrow-minded if compared to this century. You would be able to achieve so much more in here, with the power of the unicorn’s blood. And I could give you such power, as long as you do not hurt this man.”

He was quiet for a long, long time. Then, he nodded to the soldier, who stepped back, going to the opposite wall, where the other four soldiers were aligned.

“I accept your proposal.” He said, turning to the hooded figure behind him. “John, go prepare the terrain. I will escort Lady Wallace personally, this time, so she can’t escape anymore.”

The minion nodded and vanished in the dark to God knew where. While Adam tried to get up with his hands tied behind his back, Ellie kept the old man’s attention turned to her, trying to think of a way to make Adam go back to the house and seek help.

She knew that if he stayed with the soldiers, anything that happened during that night would be considered his fault.

“Let him loose.” She whispered, trying to gain courage. “Please. He is struggling, he is injured… Let him go back home.”

He nodded one more time, without really looking at who obeyed his orders. Soon enough Adam was freed, rubbing his pulses, kneeled on the floor, trying to find the strength to get up and go home.

He was too injured to do that.

“You know… I find it interesting…” Lord Wallace spoke, so slowly that she didn’t quite understand, at first, that he was talking to her. “Why do you care so much about the life of such a common man… It even looks like…”

He stopped the phrase, starting to put the pieces together. She didn’t have much time.

“Adam?” She called, in panic, unable to break the stare. “Adam? I need your help…”

“YOU LITTLE WHORE!” Lord Wallace screamed, going after Ellie while the guards lifted their swords, ready to protect their master. “YOU FUCKED HIM, DIDN’T YOU? SEIZE HER! KILL THE BITCH!”

“Fuck.” Adam whispered from behind her, as the soldiers came forward. They didn’t have a weapon of any sort and they were already at disadvantage.

“Push me.” She whispered at him, as the soldiers circled them.

“What?”

“Push me. Just… Push me.” She asked again and almost got caught off guard as Adam shoved his hands on her back and she fell, sideways, on the floor, startling the soldier right ahead, just enough for him to halt and for her to kick him on the knee.

The soldier screamed in pain and let go, out of reflex, his sword, which Adam caught mid-fall and swing with a fluid motion. While two soldiers were too occupied fighting Adam, the other went to Ellie, ready to puncture her, forgetting about his lower parts.

Men, so predictable, Ellie thought, kicking him the groin and, taking advantage of his weakness, involved her thighs in his neck, pulling him to the floor. Stunned and caught off guard, the soldier didn’t have even time to realize he was being suffocated before passing out over her.

“Ellie!” She heard Adam call and noticed he was fighting two soldiers at the same time.

She took the sword from the fallen soldier’s hand and went over to Adam. Her new weapon clanged on the armor of one of the soldiers, calling his attention to her and making him fight her as well.

It had been a while since she last fought with a sword and her muscles complained about the weight and the dimensions. Every time the weapons collided, the sound reverberated through her bones, taking her breath away. Luckily, the soldier lost, for a moment, the grip of his sword, and Ellie took advantage of it. She swung her weapon free, going directly to the unprotected part of his body, just above the collar.

The swish of blood was almost instantaneous, falling over Ellie and the stone behind her. Startled, she heard the buzzing of the bees grow louder, the beating of those ancient drums pushing her towards… a different time.

It was like she got frozen, her heart stumping on her chest, the weight of the dead soldier heavy over her, the cold moisture of his blood entering her clothes and touching her skin. Laying on the floor, the baptismal font was over her head, just a touch away from her fingers.

It sang for her. It seduced her with pretty words and great promises. So, so loud that she almost couldn’t hear:

“Ellie…”

It was Adam. His voice took her mind from the past and prompted her back to the present. Feeling dizzy, she pushed the body of the soldier out of the way and got on all fours.

He was kneeling over a sea of bodies. By his side, looking at the baptismal font, with an empty look on his face, was Gordon Wallace.

“Is he…?” She couldn’t end the phrase.

“Yes. I…” Adam said, his voice so weak it was barely audible. “He was coming for you, Ellie. I… I had to do something.”

She released the air she was holding from her lungs and felt her hands shake.

He was, finally, dead.

“Oh, Thank God.” She whispered, raising her head to the place that was, once, the altar. “We are free, Adam! We…”

She glanced at the man she loved and watched him blink, so slowly, that she feared he would not open his eyes again. She crawled on the floor, skidding on the blood over the stone until she got to him. As she closed her arms over his body, she felt him giving in.

“Oh, no, don’t you think of doing that to me, do you hear me, Adam?” She called, looking terrified at his shirt. There was so much blood…

“I’m tired, Ellie. I just need to close my eyes for a moment…”

“No, stay with me, Adam. Open your eyes, look at me!” She was begging now, claiming for a miracle. “I love the color of your eyes. So blue, so very much blue! Show me your eyes, Adam.”

“I’m dying, Ellie. You know that. You know that Mrs. Fraser will not find us on time.” He paused, his hand cupping her cheek. “It is alright.”

“No, no!” She was furious, despite the tears flowing down her face. “They will come, they always come! When you took me to your bed, we sealed the deal. They will come to save you. Like they did with my father’s tenants. You’re my blood now. They will come.”

He wasn’t listening to her anymore.

“Ellie, Ellie… My dear… I love you. Never said it before. But I do. I do love you.” He paused, catching his breath, blue eyes gleaming towards her. “I always did. And I always will.”

“ADAM!”

She didn’t scream because he stopped breathing. She screamed because everything went dark and silent as she had suddenly closed her eyes and went to sleep, despite being, still, very conscient of her own body and Adam’s shallow breathing.

And then she heard. A giggle, coming from somewhere ahead. The soft breath on her nape, the gentle caress of a long finger in her hair, and the whispered words:

“ _Tha sinn an seo.”_

_We are here._


	33. A lady is healed

_December 1780_

Eleanor MacDonnell opened her eyes.

At first, she saw the canopy over her head, draped with green velvet and golden tassels. She blinked, confused, trying to calm her heart, while she felt the fresh linen over her feet, clinging around her thighs, gently caressing the curve of her breast.

And then… The memories came with a flush, sounds and images and feelings, overflowing her mind and getting to her heart. The feeling of fresh snow on her hair, Adam’s mouth against her lips, Lord Wallace.

Lord Wallace!

She tried to sit down, just to feel more nauseous than ever and fall down once again over the pillows.

“Oh, you are awake!” A voice commented, a bit drowsy, by her side.

Startled, Ellie turned her head, just to see the sleepy figure of Lady Minerva by her side. Noticing that the great lady was trying to sleep on a teeny tiny chair, made her try to get up again, just to be stopped by the powerful and stable hand of Lady Pardloe.

“No, no. You will stay right there, little lady.” She adjusted the pillows behind her head. “You must be tired, after… well… what happened.”

_What happened…_

Echoes reverberated through her memory, images of swords gleaming by the moonlight, torches burning over cold stone, blood, so much blood, dripping from her dress.

Adam. Adam laying on her arms, saying… saying that he loved her.

His chest was covered by his own blood.

“Adam!” She screamed, looking at Lady Minerva in sheer panic. “We must fetch Adam! He is… He is…”

God, why it was so hard to say the words?

He was dying. He was. It was too much blood, he was too weak. He had fought with her, for her life, for her freedom. And now… He was dying.

“He is fine. A bit sore, but fine.” She looked confused at the girl, a hand feeling her clammy skin. “Do you remember, don’t you, Miss MacDonnell?”

Just… Sore?

Surely…

“I remember the fight, the bodies, the arrow… Are you sure…?” She lost the word mid-way, confused and worried.

“What bodies, dear?” Lady Minerva started to look a little too worried now. “Mr. Fraser found you and Adam unconscious near Ellesmere Park, by the edge of the woods behind it. We thought you were robbed, as the horse wasn’t nearby and you two didn’t have any clothes on, just undergarments…”

How…?

“I…” Ellie blinked, startled. “Are you sure?”

“Well, yes.” Now, she was a bit offended. “As best I can be, considering that I was not the one who found you two.”

“The arrow. There was an arrow in Adam’s shoulder! He was bleeding, he was… he was…” She choked. What was happening?

“There was no arrow, darling. Just… a bruise, like I’ve told you. A scratch, at best.”

She stood silent, for so, so long. How could she explain what had happened? She clearly remembered the arrow on his shoulder, the soldiers dying by their swords, his whispered last words.

And then… She remembered.

The complete darkness, the muffled silence, the giggle coming from nowhere at all, the long, thin fingers caressing her hair, the words, in Gaelic.

They’ve come like she promised Adam. She never quite believed them but, even though every time she was placed in a house with a moribund, the dying man suddenly was young again.

And now… She believed. She believed the crazy stories about her mother being a changeling, that her magical blood flowed through her daughter’s veins, that Ellie was, truly, related to those ancient beings that roamed the woods, that could cause as much pain and anguish as they could bring blessings and joy.

But if they were on her rescue back at the monastery… Then…

“The baby!” She exclaimed. “The baby! Is it well? How…”

“Lord John Alexander William Ransom, Viscount Ashness, is a fine and healthy baby boy.” Said the woman, smiling kindly. “And Peggy, God bless her, is fine. Tired and sore, as a new mother always is. But fine.”

“Oh!” She started to breathe more steadily. “Oh! A boy!”

“Yes.” Lady Minerva smiled, taking a small bundle beneath her chair. It was a tiny knitted sock, from a soft kind of wool. “He has an abundant quantity of chocolate brown hair and bright blue eyes. An easy smile, lazy as a baby can be. Since he was born, he didn’t even let out a whimper. Very, very quiet…”

Ellie felt like crying. Again. Oh God, would she never stop crying?

She needed to see them. Adam, Peggy, William, and baby John. But, for now…

“Where is Adam?”

“He is right next…”

But Lady Minerva couldn’t finish her phrase. Ellie was already running towards the door, barefoot and on her nightgown, hurrying towards Adam.

________________

Adam first felt her breathing. Steady and gentle, against the curve of his neck. Then, he felt her eyelashes, fluttering against his jaw, like she was having an anxious dream of sorts.

Then, he felt her body. Her hands tucked in his hair, her breasts against his torso, her thigh over his hips, the curve of her calf tangled with his own.

He opened his eyes, stunned by her beauty at sunrise, rosy lips, rosy cheeks, orange freckles. Adam slowly caressed her skin, soft and tender beneath his digits, feeling the smoothness he so adored.

She had saved him.

Not only by holding him in her arms when he was injured by that arrow. Not only by the way she convinced Lord Wallace that he should live and be free to go back home. Not even when she caught that sword and fought the soldiers by his side.

No.

She saved him just by weeping over his nearly dead body. Even though he heard the faint cry of the past, calling for her, she stood by his side and promised a miracle that he couldn’t believe it actually happened.

No. Believing on it or not, he was safe.

Thanks to his bride.

Yes, his bride, Adam thought to himself, feeling so, so proud that he could scream to the entire house. He was sure he would marry that girl, for good or worst. There was no way he would escape her grasp, that he would run away from her once more.

That was a closed deal.

And, for that, he had to solve some pendencies.

He stared at the sun, creeping down his curtains, and felt lazy. He was tired, sore and, despite the fact his shoulder seemed to be fine, it burned a little bit, every time he moved, like he had stitches, magical, transparent stitches all over.

Mrs. Fraser seemed to be very calm about it when he told the true and complete history, as she checked his wounds in the quiet of the night.

He was freaking out, worried about Ellie that was still passed out by the other room, with only his _mother_ as company. Before he could think straight, he was spilling his heart out to the good doctor, that was in no better state than his own, considering she spent all night bringing a baby boy to the world.

“Well, Mr. Grey…” She started to say, watching his shoulder closely. “I’ve seen weirder things. Being healed by… beings… doesn’t seem to be so out of the way, does it?”

“Are you truly saying… suggesting… that you believe in me, Mrs. Fraser?” He asked, intrigued, as she cleaned the wound with alcohol. “How?”

“There are some things that I can’t fully disclosure, Mr. Grey.” She smirked like she was thinking of a very funny joke. “However, I must ask in return: are YOU saying that you believe in magic?”

He stood very quiet for a second.

“I was just getting used to the time-traveling thing… Don’t you think that healing magic is just a… stretch, isn’t it?”

“Oh, I don’t know, Mr. Grey.” She paused, pressing her hand over his chin, where he had a huge bruise from the flat side of a sword. “Have you never thought HOW this traveling occurs? What law rules this phenomenon? Physics of any sort? Or just pure, mythical, magic?”

And, right now, laying by Ellie’s side, he truly felt inclined to believe in magic.

Alas, he would have to leave magic behind for a little bit. Adam had to think about more mundane matters, such as a marriage license and a home.

They could go to Gretna Green. It was just some miles away and would avoid the need to read the banns or to find the archbishop and beg for a marriage license.

However… It was not completely legal, as much as everyone considered as a fact a marriage consumed in Gretna Green. It would seem like he was, once again, running from his troubles and escaping with his bride to a foreign land to be married in secrecy.

No. He would marry that girl with all the pomp and circumstance she had the right to. After all, she was the only daughter of a very powerful chieftain. She deserved a pretty dress, beautiful flowers, and a proper engagement ring.

Alright, then. He had no wish to wait three whole months just for a minister to read the banns. He needed to go beg for the archbishop and hope for the best. Usually, he was not very fond of giving favors, like marriage licenses all out of the blue. However, Adam’s father was a duke, and Adam himself was a well-renowned captain for his majesty’s troops.

He could, at least, try.

While in London, he would find her an engagement ring. She had such thin fingers, that would be difficult to find a ring on her size. He was thinking diamonds or pearls like it was in fashion. Yellow gold, for sure. Or, perhaps…

Emerald. She deserved an emerald green ring, covered with white gold, so beautifully crafted that would take her breath away. An emerald satin dress, covered with gold embroidery, that would make her pale white skin glow under the morning sun.

He would not find flowers in this weather. Perhaps some tulips, being grown in greenhouses around the town, specialized in exotic plants. Yet, he truly believed that she would be very content with a bouquet of evergreens and thistles.

Now… For his home. He had an idea. But he would need a partner for that.

Slowly, Adam got up from his bed, adjusting the sheets so that Ellie kept the warmth and the comfort his bed had given her. He put on some clothes and walked to the silent hall. Just by the end of it, turning right, there was his parent’s room, where he knocked, gently, almost only brushing the tips of his fingers.

“Adam?” His mother asked, opening the door, startled to see him. “Well, I… Is Miss MacDonnell…? She left so abruptly, and I wouldn’t… I couldn’t…”

“She is fine, mother. Sleeping.” He decided he couldn’t give more details. “Is father awake?”

“Well, yes, of course. He was truly worried about your welfare... Maybe you should let him rest for a bit, darling…”

“It would be quick, mother. I really need to talk to him.”

“I…” She seemed nervous, unsure about what to do. After all, they had just mended their relationship.

“Open the door, Minnie.” His father said, by her side, in a robe too tight for him and a tired look on his face. “If the boy wants to talk with me, so he will. I will ask for breakfast, meanwhile. What do you think about that?”

“Well, you do whatever you want, Harold.” Adam always knew that crossing his mother was something he avoided like the plague. “But, remember, next time you start dying in front of me, I will help nature finish you off. Good day.”

Harold sighed, for a long minute, as his wife slammed the door behind them. Finally, he turned around and asked:

“So, what do you have in mind? I hope it is good enough for your mother to be crossed with me.”

____________________

“He is beautiful.” Ellie cooed to the baby boy in her arms.

It has been three days since Adam left with Lord Pardloe to God know where without warning anyone. And every day, since she woke up to find him gone, Ellie found comfort by Lady Ellesmere’s side, mesmerized by the beauty of her baby boy.

“He looks like his father, of course.” Peggy whispered from the armchair where she was sitting, carefully trying to knit what looked like a very long scarf, looking radiant. “I hope he gets his charm, as well. He would be a hopeless romantic, with just a pretty face and no ability to talk with the ladies. Or the gents.”

Ellie raised one eyebrow, surprised.

“Oh, don’t be so square.” The lady joked from her bed. “It’s not like you don’t know that gays exist, right?”

“Gays?”

“Oh, God, I forgot about the lingo sometimes. Hummm… Men who enjoy the company of other men, Ellie.”

Ellie finally understood.

“Oh! OH!” She exclaimed, looking at the little boy in her arms. “Of course, I know about them. The soldiers… I’ve seen them. Together, sometimes. Behind the curtains or beneath the stairs during festivities. They… They had to stay hidden, you know. The Church thought it was ungodly. Do you…?”

The countess denied with her head.

“Love is love, Ellie. No matter when, no matter with whom, no matter how. Am I wrong?” She smiled, in harmony with the girl. “I just want him to be happy, no matter what.”

“Oh, he surely will be.” Ellie smiled at the baby, that blinked, sleepy, in her arms.

“Is that another certain prediction, milady?” The countess asked, searching for something under the pile of wool, taking away a grand bag filled with coins. “Talking about that, I’m in debt with you. Two pounds and thirty shillings, to be more exact. I’m sorry the gains were not higher. Apparently, every member in the household believed I was the chosen countess to give His Lordship an heir.”

“It is alright.” She smiled, walking towards the glorious mother. “In any way, I would use the funds to buy this handsome boy a gift.”

“I hope your gift is more expensive than two pounds and thirty shillings.” The lady teased. “I don’t know how things work back on your day, but godparents usually provide their godsons with glorious and intricate presents.”

“Godparents?” She asked, startled.

“Well, yes.” Peggy answered, reaching for the baby that started to fuss in Ellie’s arms and placing aside her knitting extravaganza. “As usual, he will have his Anglican Godparents: Adam and Dottie and Lord Pardloe and Mrs. Fraser. However, Mr. Fraser is catholic and we thought it would be fit to pair him with you. After all, we share a secret.”

“Oh, Peggy. I…” Ellie choked. “I am most honored.”

“Oh, don’t you cry, sweetheart!” The lady said, panicking. “It is a good thing! No need for crying!”

Ellie couldn’t help the tears going down her face. Oh, God! Would her life be like that now, filled with tears and heartbreak?

“Now, now…” Peggy got up, placing the baby on a crib by her side and walking to where the girl cried silently, next to the window. “Why don’t you help me with this jacket that I’m doing? To cheer you up?”

This made Ellie stop crying.

“A jacket?”

“It doesn’t look like a jacket, does it?” The countess seemed to be devastated, as she turned to the blue pile by the chair. “Oh, God, I will remain a failure as a lady, no matter how hard I try.”

Ellie couldn’t answer. Although the realization that the very long scarf was, in fact, a jacket, made her smile slightly, a sudden movement by the window caught her attention, prompting her heart to gallop. She turned to it, with high hopes, just to find a small bunny hopping around.

“He will be back, you know.”

It was quite obvious who the countess was talking about.

“How can you be so sure, Peggy?” Ellie whispered, turning her back to the great window and walking towards the baby. “He left before dawn and has been missing for three whole days.”

“He is with his father… You know that, Lady Minerva said herself…”

“He may be with the duke.” Ellie stopped, catching her breath. “But… He may be alone. Somewhere else.”

“Why would he do that?” Peggy seemed worried, taking her friend’s hand. “You said to me… That he declared his love…”

“I don’t know!” She blurted out, catching the attention of both the baby and his mother. “I do not know! The only thing I’m sure of is that he is not here, it has been three days and I… I… I miss him.”

“Ellie?” Peggy called her, turned to the window.

“I should have said that I loved him back. I was so stupid, such… so… Maybe that was my last chance… If I…”

“Ellie!” Peggy called, crossed. “Look!”

“What?” She answered, crossed, turning her head slightly to where she was pointing to.

“He is here. Adam!”

And she saw. The long, broad figure, golden hair gleaming on the sun, melted snow on his shoulders, marching with intent to the house, while his father puffed behind him.


	34. A lady finds her home

_December, 1780_

She turned the corridor and found Adam handling the footman his hat and his coat, followed by a very pale and tired Lord Pardloe.

He probably heard her footsteps echoing on the wood. Or maybe, he just had sensed her anger. Adam raised his head and stared, surprised, at her, while Ellie marched towards him. He didn’t even question what was going on as she raised her hand and punched him straight on the stomach.

“Humpf!” Adam exclaimed, protecting his stomach with both hands as she tried to hit him again.

“The nerve of it!” Ellie complained, trying to find a soft spot for another punch, while Adam ran around her, avoiding her hands. “The nerve of it, Adam Grey! Coming back to this house, after leaving without saying goodbye! You were injured! We were found buried in snow and you never thought…”

“Ellie!”

“Never considered that we would be worried sick…”

“Ellie!”

“Your poor mother, Adam! Me! I thought you had decided what you want but, as usual, you run away…”

“Ellie!” He shouted, finally finding a moment to just place his hands on her shoulders, pulling her to a hug. Startled, confused, and… well… delighted… Ellie stood very still, sniffing the manly smells that covered Adam’s body. His heart was thumping in his chest and a box was pressed against her throat, probably under his jacket. “Good grief, calm down!”

“How can I calm down when you…”

But he interrupted her once more.

“Just… listen to me first, could you? Just a second.”

She blinked, in rage, watching him take his hands out of her and open his jacket, fumbling around the pockets. A smile appeared on his lips, as he slowly took out a small box, covered in green velvet, with gold filigree adorning it.

Ellie heard others behind her gasping and the anxious murmur of the maids. Yet, she still couldn’t quite understand what was going on. After all, it was only a pretty box, wasn’t it?

Adam waited for a reaction, that never came. He sighed, saying:

“I figured you would want me to do the whole job.”

He kneeled, opening the tiny box, where a pretty ring stood in the middle. A green gem was on top of it, with gold arabesques around it, forming Celtic motifs. It reminded her of home, of the drawings around the stones, of the carvings in swords, and the drawings on her jewelry.

“So, what you say?”

She was mesmerized by the beauty of that ring, so gently crafted, so different from the rings her father used.

“I…” She choked. “It is very pretty, Adam… But… You vanished for three whole days to buy… a ring?”

He stared at her, confused, while somewhere behind her, the maids started to giggle.

“I… We… This…” Adam thought of the words, as the giggles started to grow louder. “Would you please leave us alone?”

The hush hush of skirts and the stomping of men’s feet were heard leaving the room and Ellie blushed, finally noticing that she cursed the duke’s son like a soldier midst war.

“Ellie, dear.” Adam said, from the ground, as they were left in silence. “I’m asking you to marry me. Do you… Is this… Do you not want to?”

She lost her breath, her heart thumping in her chest. Marry him? Marry Adam? His eyes were so blue, anxious, waiting for her answer and the only thing she could say was:

“I... Yes. I do want to, but… What this ring has to do with it?”

He laughed. That man laughed at her, his eyes shining with delight, as he took the intricate ring from its box and reached for her hand, placing the emerald on her finger.

“It is a custom here, to give a ring to the bride, asking for her hand in marriage.”

Ellie blushed profusely, watched the gem sparkle with the evening glow.

“I… The bride that gives presents to the groom. Cattle, lands… Such things. I never. I…” She exhaled, enchanted. “Why?”

He still held her hand in his, as he got up and pulled her closer to him.

“Why what?”

“Why you’re asking me to marry you?” She whispered, raising her head to look at his bright blue eyes.

“Why… I love you, Ellie. Is this not a good enough reason?”

“I thought you said… that night… You couldn’t marry me.”

He gently caressed her cheek and she could feel the love spread from his fingers to her skin.

“Things changed. I changed, Ellie, thanks to you. Before we met, I was in a dark place. Alone, scared, and… in pain. And then, I met you. And I found love, I found happiness, I found… joy. Ellie, I was stupid, a fool who believed my fate was to never find my place in the world. And now I see.”

“What do you see?” She choked, tears floating down her face.

“I see you. I see your smile, I see your eyes. I see your mouth. I see your body and your heart. I see our home, I see our bed, I see our children. I see our life.” He blinked and Ellie noticed he was also crying. “I see a future I never thought I was good enough to have, Ellie. Thanks to you.”

It was natural for them to search for each other lips, sealing their future with joy.

________________

They were married a week later.

Adam had done everything right. He had acquired the lands and marched to the archbishop, followed by the constant presence of his father, the Duke of Pardloe. After a few minutes of chatting and a substantial donation to the charity of His Most Reverend’s choosing, he was leaving London with his right to be married.

And what a great idea it was.

As he sat during the breakfast Peggy and William planned for him and his bride, Adam could not be happier than he already was. Ellie was glowing with joy, dressed in the most beautiful green dress his money could buy in a tiny village near the border of Scotland.

Her colors and her tartan were draped around her shoulder, gathering at her waist and swooshing on the floor. A beautiful nod to all those that she loved dearly and could not attend the celebrations.

James Fraser was clapping his hands, excited, as he danced an old, intricate, Scottish dance with Adam’s new wife.

“They understand each other in a way that I will never be able to understand myself.” Said Claire Fraser by his side, drinking champagne, with her cheeks flushed in a pretty pink tone.

“Maybe is something to do with being a Scot. Or living far away from their own family and heritage.” Adam whispered, sipping his brandy. Together, red locks flowing with the beat, they looked like father and daughter, except for the bright green eyes that Eleanor wore so proudly.

Claire didn’t answer right away. She stared at the duo dancing, while Lord Pardloe chatted with his son Benjamin and Lady Minerva tucked a strand of hair away from Peggy’s face, by the side of Ben’s wife, who held baby John, tenderly, in her arms.

“She is a good girl, Mr. Grey. Not only because she and Jamie understand each other so well. No, she has a good heart and a very sharp mind. You found the one, truly.” She seemed a bit melancholic. “I will sure miss her when we get back to the Americas.”

“You can stay a little longer. For the baby, at least. To visit our home.” Adam wanted the Fraser’s in their life. He grew used to that smart doctor and her gentle husband.

“Oh, dear, I wish I could. However… My daughter and son-in-law are taking care of Fraser’s Ridge with three children to tend to. And Fanny is not… well… easy to deal with.”

Mrs. Fraser had told him about the girl William had sent her to live with. The sister of the earl’s first real love, orphaned too early and left alone in the world too quickly. Grieving, William found a home for Fanny and ran away to England, so he could be left alone.

The rest was history.

“Very curious mind. A very sharp tongue. And not a single drop of sense and sensibility on those bones… Only thirteen now, but God give me strength by the time she reaches fifteen!”

“You should go on vacation, Claire, dear.” Uncle John said, coming from the dance floor glowing with excitement. “What do you think about Sicily?”

“Is that an invitation, Lord John?” She laughed, turning to the man.

“Of course! You and Jamie in a Sicilian palazzo, watching the sunset on the shore, drinking limoncello, and eating pasta all day long…” He paused, smiling at her. “Unfortunately, my presence will be scarce… A chess tournament with an old… acquaintance. The last time we met, I lost in three rounds. This is my chance.”

“Revenge is a better word for that, John. And, unfortunately, Fraser’s Ridge is waiting for us. Perhaps, for the two lovebirds…” She started to say, being interrupted by Adam, promptly.

“It is a great offer, however, I must decline. We also have land to tend to.”

Uncle John’s smile grew larger and he placed a hand over his shoulder. He was never the favorite nephew. Adam always thought that such honor would always be for Ben or, maybe, Dottie. Even his brother Henry, that was the most brainless of them all, had a better chance of attracting attention from their uncle.

However, right now, he truly felt the love spill from Uncle John’s heart and drip all over him. He was loved, truly loved, and his happiness was the main reason all those people, so different from each other in every single way, were there.

“It is a good idea, son.” He paused, sniffing for a bit. “May I take your bride for a dance? Before Jamie takes someone’s eye out?”

They all laughed, while Uncle John walked to a flushed and delighted Ellie and Mrs. Fraser went to help Mr. Fraser to sit down, still dizzy from the dance.

“You’re happy.” Said a voice behind him.

“I am.” Adam pointed out, waiting for him to go on.

Ben stopped by his side, a cocky smile on his face.

“Who is the romantic now?”

Adam rolled his eyes, his own smile getting bigger on his face. After all, his brother was a pain in his arse, but he was his brother.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Maybe…’I’m sorry, Ben. You were right, Ben. I owe you my life, Ben.’ Something like that.”

“I will not say such things.” Adam mocked, accepting another glass from the servant in front of him.

“Oh… Adam… Just say it. You know that I’m right.” He could hear the joy leaving Ben’s lips.

“Dear… Sweet… Jesus… Alright. You were right, I was wrong.” He paused, turning to his brother. “Is that enough?”

“Thank you.” Ben said, placing a hand on Adam’s shoulder.

“No, I refuse to thank you for anything. If you think that I…”

“No, Adam. Thank YOU.”

Adam stood silent, watching Ben so close to him, his cocky smile, for once, gone and just gratitude dripping from his features.

“For what, Ben? I just… I did nothing…”

He never said the things he had done to his brother. He admitted them to Ellie and his father, as a way to leave the past behind. However… Ben was his brother. They spent more than twenty years irritating each other, just like siblings tend to do. Being weak was never an option.

“You took care of Mama. Of our family. Our home. Our lands. The title.” Ben paused, glancing at Ellie trying to dance the waltz with their father. “It was not your obligation and you still did it. You’re the best of men, Adam. And Eleanor… She is the best of women. You’ll have a wonderful life.”

_________________________

By noon, they were leaving Ellesmere Park.

Adam said that he wanted to surprise her with something and, to do so, they had to leave. So, they met all the guests by the door and said their goodbyes, hugging and kissing, tenderly, all of those that helped to make her dreams come true.

“Good luck, Eleanor MacDonnell.” Said Peggy Ransom, giving her a big hug. “Or should I say, Eleanor Grey?”

Without thinking, she glanced at Adam, by her side, that seemed to be so proud of himself…

“Yes. Eleanor Grey seems right to me.”

She could feel his hand holding hers tightly, as they walked among the others. Mr. and Mrs. Fraser kissed them goodbye, promising to write as much as they could, considering that the war was still raging across the country.

Peggy and William invited them to their London house, for the next season. Lady Minerva and Lord Pardloe planned a ball in honor of their sons, just before they left for America. After all, Dottie had just given birth and Lady Minerva was anxiously waiting to see her grandchild.

At last, Ben and Amaranthus kissed both of them, while Ben promised that, if needed, he would ask Adam to check their lands. After all, he had knowledge and expertise with something that was very new for the older brother.

“Look, Ellie.” Adam said, pointing to somewhere behind the windows.

She was lost in thoughts, barely noticing the small construction coming towards them. Made completely in stone, with roof tiles of slate and ivy growing over its outer walls, the cottage was facing the shore, where the Scottish thistle grew in the wild amidst the sand, being washed, gently, by the soft waves touching it.

A servant, a cook, and a housekeeper were waiting by the door, their clothes being swept by the salt air coming from the beach. The carriage took the grassy path and stopped in front of the small group, who helped them to take their luggage and get off the vehicle.

“I’m Mrs. Douglas, ma’am, the housekeeper. My husband, Mr. Douglas, is the butler and the valet for Mr. Grey. And this is Mrs. Hamilton, the cook.” A round and tall woman approached them, fiery red hair showing beneath her cap. “My husband and I, we live some miles ahead, while Mrs. Hamilton lives in the village nearby. I’m sorry, ma’am, but we couldn’t find a lady’s maid for you, yet. Announcements were made and we hope to interview some by next week.”

“Oh, my, I… Thank you, Mrs. Douglas. I… Wait.” She slowly turned around her axis, stunned by the beauty of the cottage. “Are you all Scottish?”

“Descendants, ma’am.” Said Mr. Douglas, holding his cap in his old hands. “So close to the border, is quite common.”

“The border?”

“Well, yes, ma’am. This is not the sea, actually. We are in the mouth of River Esk. Right in front of us, behind the shore, is Scotland.”

Ellie lost her breath, delighted. She turned to Adam and saw him staring at her, a shy smile on his face. That unbearable man! He knew, he always knew that Ellie missed Scotland and her family. She missed the green fields and the blue sky. And now…

“Your new home is close to your old one. It was the best I could do, considering…”

“Oh, Adam!” She threw herself over him, taking his mouth in a tender kiss, to the surprise of the servants behind them. Ellie couldn’t care less. Right there and now, she loved Adam more than ever.

And she didn’t even think that was possible.

“Well… Ma’am, I… We best get going. All is settled for your two… And… Let’s go, Angus. Marjorie.”

The housekeeper’s words were faint in Ellie’s ears, so overwhelmed by Adam’s smell and taste that she entirely forgot about the others around them. She just surrendered herself to the man that she loved, her husband, and let him take charge of things.

For once.

It was not a surprise when she felt her body pressed against the cold stones, his warm breath against her neck. The cold wind coming from the beach swept his skirts around her ankles and froze her thighs.

“They will see us…” She whispered, without breath, trying to open her eyes.

For a split of a second, Adam stopped what he was trying to do (perhaps open the front laces of her gown with his teeth), looked around, just to return to his job, mumbling:

“They are already far gone.”

Her only answer was sigh.

Ellie missed the sharp contact of his teeth against her skin, the way it brushed against the soft skin next to her nipples and made her shiver. She missed the way his hands traveled all her body, recognizing the different corners and folds that made her flesh, almost worshiping each and every inch.

It was easy to be taken in his arms, her husband’s arms, finally, laid on the bed, all the parts of her clothing being shredded by the anxious hands over her. His anxiety took her out of the stupor and made her eager to feel his bare skin against her own as well.

It was blissful to feel the familiar warmth against her entrance, the strong thighs opening her legs apart, his chest, solid and perfect, pressing her breasts and brushing her nipples so hard that Ellie felt like she would faint.

And he was there. The soft grunts that Adam made in her ear, the tender movements he made against her, all that took her away, in a confusion of feelings and sensations that, at last, overwhelmed her, making her scream to the salt wind coming from the bay.

“I love you, I love you, I love you, Ellie.” She opened her eyes to see Adam’s forehead pressed against her own, his words leaving his mouth in a flux.

“I do. I do love you.” She was able to babble, feeling the joy expand on her chest.

And she found her home.

Finally.


	35. A lady's happy ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry for posting the last chapter a day later. However, it was for a good reason: yesterday, my boyfriend asked me to marry him! We are engaged! So, so happy!   
> I hope you all enjoy this last chapter of "The Lady In Grey" and be prepared for the new short story that is coming. "The Sicilian Defence" will be coming next week, with the story of Lord John Grey and the best chess player he ever met.  
> Afterward, "To Fanny, with love" will be arriving, with the new story about grown-up Fanny Pococok, a stubborn and sweet girl that has a tendency to cleptomania and her meeting with the mysterious Viscount De Polignac during her season in London.  
> See you soon!

_August, 1786_

The warm wind coming from the shore was a blessing. It was a beautiful summer day, with bright blue skies and green grass. The children were all gathered at the beach, playing with the waves, building sandcastles, and running around, with only Peggy Ransom, the Countess of Ellesmere to take care of their well-being.

After all, Lady Minerva was an accomplice for all the fun the children were having. She was the one yelling for them to catch her, while running up and down the shore, to the complete despair of Lord Harold, sitting beneath a parasol avoiding the sun.

Ellie could see the bright blond hair of her eldest child, Catriona, walking side by side with her godson, John. They were nearly a year apart in age and would often spend many hours together, planning adventures and going on treasure hunts.

If the future was kind, it would please their families very much to have them both connected in wedlock. Yet, both their parents were married out of love and their only hope was that their children would find the same blessing.

The younger ones, George and James Ransom, respectively five and three years of age, and Callum Grey, who was four, were running behind Lady Minerva and the babies, Claire Ransom and Minnie Grey were beneath Lord Hal parasol, being guarded by the countess and the duke.

It was peaceful.

The life she always wished for herself.

She stood there, watching as the sun began to set on the sky, bringing beautiful shades of orange and pink to the shore. Realizing it was getting too dark, Peggy called the happy bunch, gathering their belongings, being helped by the sudden appearance of the Earl of Ellesmere. If he had arrived, then…

“What are you thinking about, Lady Ellie Grey?” A voice said from behind, arms wrapping her in a tight embrace.

“Of how blessed we are, Sir Adam Grey.” She laughed, turning to him, and taking his face in her hands. “I will never get used to calling you Sir.”

He was awarded with a baronet some time after their marriage, in honor of his work during the war.

“I will never get used to calling you milady.”

They kissed, delighted with each other and with their perfect life.

“I always knew you were a true knight.”

“That time you hit me in the balls, you were not so sure.”

“Oh, be quiet!” She mocked, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. “Now, I have some news for you.”

“Oh, God, I think I will not enjoy it.”

“It came from the Americas. Mrs. Fraser wrote to ask us for a favor.”

“A favor?” Adam asked, surprised, escorting her to the garden, where they would take the trail to the beach. “She doesn’t usually do that.”

“Yes, I thought it was strange as well.” She pointed out, feeling the leaves in her fingers. “But I figured it might be quite serious, then. Do you remember Fanny Pocock?”

“The girl the Fraser’s were taking care of?” Adam asked, frowning his eyebrows. “Barely. I remember some faint words from the last letters we receive…”

“You really should be paying more attention to our mail.” Ellie joked. “Anyway, I believe she caught herself in trouble.”

“Do you mean…?” He motioned to his own belly, making a circle over it.

“Dear God, no! How come every time a lady is in trouble, you, men, think is THAT kind of trouble?” She raised her hands exasperated, making Adam laugh and pull her closer to his arms. She really wanted to kiss him right now, however… “Anyway, as I was saying…”

“You do look beautiful under the sunset…” Adam whispered in her ear.

“Can you keep your focus? Good grief, two weeks in London and you come back like a dog in heat!” Ellie scolded, being unable to avoid the little smirk over her lips.

“It was the two longest weeks of my life!” He brushed his nose against her hair and Ellie’s heart started to beat faster. Would she ever get used to that? “All those old lords in the Parliament are so… boring and… well, mostly… deaf.”

“Please, Adam…” She begged, as his nose started to get closer to her ear.

“Oh, God, yes, my dear. I will take you to our room and make love to you all night long. I don’t care about dinner or guests or the damned letter you received from the other side of the world…”

“Well, you should care, as she will be our guest…” She was rudely interrupted by a kiss.

“A ten-year-old will be no problem for us…” He continued, brushing his lips through her skin.

“She is nearly twenty…” For a second, Ellie forgot what to say, as Adam’s lips gently caressed her neck.

“Ten, twenty, I really don’t care right now. Why don’t we go upstairs to… discuss?” He insinuated, making Ellie’s heart flutter with joy. That devil of a man… Yet… She could give him some minutes to delight themselves before really discussing Mrs. Fraser’s letter.

However, as Ellie turned around, glancing once more at the beach, just to be sure all the children were safe, something odd caught her attention.

“Look, Adam.” She whispered, perplexed by the vision in front of her.

In the twilight, with its red, gold, and pink hues coloring her skin, Catriona Grey, their eldest daughter, watched, surprised, at the tiny being that marched towards her.

She had forgotten her hat once more, under the rocks by the shore, and had laid down by the sand to scoop it back. Her bright, golden hair was bright orange from the last moments of sun and the freckles were sprinkled all over her face, going down her neck and arm, as she reached to the pale white unicorn that reached her with its horn.

To their complete surprise, the animal circled itself and placed his beautiful head on her lap, sighing and going to a fast sleep.

Without saying a word, Adam and Ellie exchanged glances and walked away, leaving their daughter to enjoy the pure magic that ran on her blood.

___________________

_July 1786_

It was a steaming hot day in the Carolina’s. So hot and moist that made Fanny’s sweat drip down her back, slowly making its way to her bottom. To make things even worse, the McGonagall’s child would not stay still, kicking her in the shins and screaming like a demon in the night.

Why. Would. He. Not. Stay. Quiet?

She let out a yelp, staring at her finger and the bit mark that flashed on it. That little devil…

“If you do not stay quiet, I will not only take one teeth. I will take all of them!”

The child spitted on her and tried to run away, escaping between her legs. If she was wearing a dress, it would be harder for the devil’s spawn to escape. However, as usual, she was wearing trousers, which made his life a lot easier.

“Maybe, Miss Fanny, if…” The mother mumbled, her nose red and the tears still falling from her lashes.

“No, Mrs. McGonagall…” She said, trying to take the kid back by its shirt before it was too late. “Your son has a decayed tooth. If I do not take it out, it would get a lot more swollen and the pain will increase. It even can kill your son…”

“But the poor thing… If you could be more gentle…” The crying woman begged.

“Ma’am, your son doesn’t need gentleness. He just needs a firm, strong hand and… AHA!”

She took out the bloody teeth from his mouth to the complete horror of his mother and the persistent cry of the child.

“Miss Fanny! How… How could you… I… You should be embarrassed! Hurting a child like that!” The mother was livid. “I shall complain to Mrs. Fraser! You don’t serve as an apprentice, miss. At least, not of a healer. You’re much like a butcher!”

It was a bloody mess, made even worse by the shouting coming from the mother, the crying from the child, and that unbearable heat. She packed her things, cleaning the utensils she used with a rag and alcohol, trying to ignore Mrs. McGonagall.

“Look at what she did to Dennis, Angus!” Fanny heard and froze right on spot.

Shit.

Mr. McGonagall was tall highlander, almost as old as Mr. Fraser himself, but who aged not so well. He had a cataract in one eye, a crocked jaw due to fighting in prison, and not a sight of hair on his head. He was also known for being very moody and very, very stubborn.

“What is all the screaming about, Agatha?”

And as he watched the pandemonium being unfold in front of him and the pieces of the puzzle started to be put together, Angus McGonagall started to get mad. His eyes flashed from the bloody shirt his son was wearing (to be fair, the blood has long since stopped), the terrifying screams coming from his wife, and the placid figure of the apprentice, with a bag in her hand ready to go.

More than ready, actually. Fanny could just… run.

“This is the last time, Francis Pocock that you get your filthy little hands next to my son, my wife, and my property!”

“Now, Mr. McGonagall, I can assure you I keep everything spotless…”

“Every day I hear a different complaint regarding you, little miss. About the way you teach improper things to the daughters of the tenants …”

Fanny felt her heart drop on her chest. It was not true. Well, partially true. Not that she taught improper things… She just thought that all those girls deserved to know better how to take care of themselves, avoiding unwanted pregnancies.

“… being rude to all…”

She wasn’t rude. She was very polite, just like Mrs. Fraser had taught her to. However, it was a little more difficult when the children and their mothers were complete imbeciles like the McGonagalls appeared to be.

“… not to mention the light fingers.” He stopped, smiling with his crooked and yellow teeth.

That terrible, terrible man.

It was a dirty, filthy habit that she had since she was living in the brothel with her sister, God blessed her soul. Fanny didn’t know how it started, really, she just knew that the temptation behind each and every trinket was unbearable.

She would steal, behind the layers of petticoats, a number of different objects. Some were gathered around the brothel, like bows and buttons that someone had forgotten to mend. Other times, there was memorabilia coming from the visitors: maybe a handkerchief or a broken pince-nez.

Now and then, her struggle would take advantage of her and she would steal some wallets. Bags of coins from the rear pockets. A golden watch or a pretty ring.

She always felt very ashamed by her little thefts. However, she couldn’t just give them back: it was a mark, a memory of how bad she was and how she deserved the life she had in the brothel. And despite the fact that, right now, she lived the life of her dreams, her struggle was too great. And some things never changed.

“I will tell Mr. and Mrs. Fraser of all the things you have been stealing around the property. And you will receive the whip you surely deserved.”

Fanny was white as a sheet. If Mr. and Mrs. Fraser heard about what she had been doing… God… She would bring shame to the family. The Frasers would be publicly humiliated by their own tenants and the fault would be on the orphaned girl, that once was nearly a whore, and who was placed, suddenly, in the care of the good Samaritans.

“Mr. McGonagall… You… I mean… You have no proof whatsoever. How could anyone believe such a fantastic tale?”

Maybe, one of the reasons she was never caught in her little heist was: she was a very, very, very good liar.

“You don’t deceive me, Miss Pocock. And I know your little secret.” He watched as her face fell with surprise. “Yes, that is right. You little cave of wonders. Well… It would not be such a secret for much longer. Say good-bye to Fraser’s Ridge, missy, as you will be long gone by the time I finish my conversation with Jamie Fraser.”

And before she could protest, the man had already caught his rifle and walked straight away, towards the Big House.

_______________________

_June 1944_

Richard O’Connor was far away from home.

As he felt the seawater dripping in his nose and the freezing wind hit him straight in his face, he prayed, softly, under his breath:

“Notre Père qui es aux cieux...”

He could see his colleagues glancing at him, weirdly, as he continued the murmur. After all, it was ever expected to find weird a guy, named O’Connor, to start praying in French. However, it was one of the things his mother, a French lady that fled from home enamored by her Irish sweetheart, had taught him during the small-time they had to enjoy one another.

And it never truly left him.

Amelie de Polignac was beautiful in every way. A sassy brunette, with round and expressive brown eyes and fair skin, she would smoke a lot and curse like a sailor. She would often talk about how she had met famous people, artists, performers, singers, and how she would be among de crème de la crème.

Even so, she loved her calm, little life in New York, among the immigrant family from her fiancé. Even after fifteen years together, Amelie and Patrick never truly got married, which could identify Richard, himself, as a bastard.

But it didn’t really matter. They found love among the trenches and the stench of the 1st world war and never really cared about the formalities involved around a marriage. Just by the time Amelie was too ill to move from her bed that Patrick tried to take a priest to their home and marry them before it was too late.

However, she wouldn’t let the man in.

“It is alright, Pat, mon amour…” She would whisper, faintly, going through his bright red hair with her hands. “I’m so happy… I don’t need a père to make it official.”

Some days after she died, his father collapsed. For many days, he would not eat or sleep, making Richard dependent on their family. Each day he would get a different visit from an auntie, a cousin, or his granny. They would make soup for him, playing the radio loudly as to take away the silence from the room.

After some days, his father got better, and, slowly, found his way back to life. After some time, he met an Italian widow, with chubby cheeks and a heart of gold. And he made the right thing: Mama Lucia became his new mother.

“Go, go, go, go, go, go!” The sergeant screamed, taking Richard away from his thoughts.

The doors had opened to the dark sanded beach and, with the doors, the screams started.

Thinking about that day, Richard couldn’t say what really happened at Omaha Beach. The power that moved him forward was greater than his training, more powerful than all his experience in the army. It was the absolute certainty that he needed to get the hell out of there to survive.

And so he ran. Or better, he swam, with his gun above his head and the feet kicking in the water, in panic. His helmet didn’t really serve for anything and his backpack kept pulling him under the waves, and now, on the open field (or should he say open water?) he was an easy target.

It was a miracle, as he arrived at the beach with his clothes dripping wet and his body covered in salt and water. He crawled to the protections while taking the gun from its cover and preparing it for the first shot.

Richard breathed, steadily, hearing the mortars thundering, watching the water, soaked with blood, washing the shore, tenderly. The bodies, the so many bodies, being taken away from the shore. It was a massacre.

Bullets were zooming near his head and Richard could hear the explosion going on around him. He had a mission, he had a certainty and he wished all this was over. That was hell on earth. He saw the sergeant that screamed for him to jump off the boat near a protection, with a bunch of men behind him.

“Sir!” Richard screamed to be heard. “What we do now, sir?”

The man, turned to Richard, stunned, face as white as a sheet, and couldn’t answer right away. Just by the second time he screamed the same question, the man seemed to be left out of his stupor and made a decision:

“Alright, boys. We have to leave this beach. This is not working out.”

So, they moved, Richard’s light fingers pressing the trigger carefully, while the chaos surrounded him with noises. His heart was beating fast, pumping blood through the veins and making sure his lungs were fully functioning before it was too late. All this energy, the adrenalin running through his body, made it easier to go faster, aim better, and don’t think twice.

Perhaps he was very invested in surviving.

Or maybe, just maybe, he was just very lucky.

“Sector D-1 is cleared!” Richard heard someone screaming from the cliffs.

“Hey, listen to me!” The sergeant shouted as they searched for the exit. Mills, Davies, Johnson. You go after Captain Howard, ok? He will be next to sector D-2, clearing the way. Warn him that D-1 is cleared. Bates, Miller, Carpazzo, you will do the same with Captain Burns at D-3. If you do not find them, I repeat, if you do not find them, find the next in command.” Sergeant Goldberg screamed. “Giamatti, Danson, Dye, and O’Connor, I need you to prepare camp behind the D-1, alright? I will stay here, with Marshall, Scott, Maguire, and Parker, waiting for answers.”

With a chilled spine, he marched with the men through the cliffs, watching the rests of protection left by the Germans, the bodies left to rot, the little fires still burning inside their defenses. They walked until they left the military premises, eyes always roaming around the room, guns ready and hands prepared to shoot.

Faintly, Richard started to hear drums. So, so many that made his heart beat even faster than it already was beating.

“Listen…” He whispered to the man, motioning for them to stop. “Do you listen?”

“What are you talking about, O’Connor? It is just birds, you idiot.”

No, they weren’t. There were birds, for sure, but drums and… bees?

“Wait right here for me. I will be right back.” Richard said, walking towards the trees that hid the sound.

He never returned.

Well. At least, not for this time.


End file.
